There is probably a good story hidden somewhere in this, but the poor grammar and weird pacing makes it hard to find. I wonder if maybe English isn't the first language of the author or something. Given that others seem to like the story and characters a lot, this could probably benefit from a proofreading and a bit of editing.
The story is typical, which is good. The plot, I can predict, but enjoyable I guess? This is good for teenagers, to give them flutters and stuff. An honest critique, speech, and paragraphs need a little bit more creativity and grammar needs a little bit of fixing too. But it isn't really bad. It's as good as great. But I guess it was happening fast? In less than three chapters, there were already some exciting scenes. Anyways, maybe it was purposely done like that. I can recommend it to early adolescents, surely.
Whew! The chs flew by so fast (not because of short cha, but because of the wonderful plot)! Haven't read such a fast-paced novel on WN for quite a while! Loved the characters of Seb and Hermione! The plot is full of suspense and I specially liked how the chs ended with different questions, which keeps the reader wanting for more! Will be waiting for more updates![img=update] Author, good job done with the plot so far![img=recommend]