Wrong Motivation

What do you think of the finished story?:

Letting out a deep sigh, "Did I really have to do that? Should I apologise to her right now, would she even be willing to talk to me?" Those questions floated around in my head as I gently swung open the doors to my room. Putting down my bag and immediately letting myself fall face first onto my bed, trying to figure out what to do next. "Ugh Yuna, you idiot!"

It was hard to pay attention during lessons in school because my gaze would always turn towards Harry. He sits right next to me, in between me and my sister Mali. The three of us are really good friends, our recess times would always be spent together drawing in the library. Unlike me and Harry, Mali was a beauty. She had long flowy black hair, a perfectly clean rosy-peach face and eyes that gleamed a hint of blue. Every guy in our class has confessed to her, except for Harry. That is most likely why she feels most comfortable hanging out with me and Harry.

"Woah Harry, is this me? How did you draw this? This looks so good!" Mali praised a drawing Harry had drawn of her.

"Nah, it's not as good as your drawing of Zero-Two!" He repaid the appraisal.

I stared at the both of them as they continued to bombard each other with compliments, my body shrinking at the cringe and how jealous I was at Mali. Harry isn't popular, nor is he attractive. He's just an average looking secondary four student. Messy black hair, glasses and the same height as me. Bland and unnoticeable. Yet, I am mesmerized by him, my heart pounding every time I look his way. I can't confirm it, but I have a feeling Mali shares my interests in him.

"Woah look, guys, there's an art competition being held in our school in the next two days. We should all go!" Mali announced while showing us a poster on her phone to the both of us. I grinned at seeing it while Justin's eyes widened and his eyes sparkled brighter, which contrasted in his bland exterior. The competition was a physical competition that required all its competitors to attend and create an artwork on a canvas based on the theme chosen by the host. Of course, the both of us agreed to compete. Thus, this event led us to today. This is the moment I can truly shine and get Justin's attention by showing how much better of an artist I am than Mali, I can't give this up on this opportunity!

"Alright candidates, please get your equipment ready and be seated in your designated seats! The competition will begin shortly," the atmosphere was vibrant. I looked around the room and noticed the wide smiling faces, brimming with excitement. Mali sat next to me while Justin was in front, facing the both of us. We all gave each other a reassuring thumbs up and arranged our art tools to our liking. The other candidates did the same with their own group of friends.

"Looks like all of you are ready! Let's get this competition started, the theme is… 'Affection'!"

The host announced.

"Wow, that's a difficult theme. How are we supposed to draw affection?" Mali and Justin questioned in conjunction. The other candidates looked confused on what they were supposed to draw too. Although, I disagreed with them. I smirked as wide as I could, this theme is perfect for me.

Without wasting even a second, I started to sketch on my canvas. This is too easy, it's an image that I always see when I look at Justin, a soft and gentle beating heart. Twenty minutes went by and eventually people started on their own artworks and are a quarter of the way done. I kept getting distracted by looking at Justin's stoic expression as he switched from pencil to pen repeatedly and stroked his hand across his canvas. For a second, I took my eyes off him and noticed Mali's sketch.

"Wow, her one looks so good. A little too good," I thought inwardly. "No, no… this can't be happening, just her sketch alone looks so much better than my halfway-coloured drawing!" I panicked, and I tried to think of a plan to win against her. 

"Should I do what I had planned before the competition? No.. that's too mean, but there is no other way than that." As I thought more about what I schemed and the more I stared at Mali's beautiful artwork, the more I rationalized it and eventually accepted that plan as action. Forty minutes after the competition started, it's time. I picked up my water cup that had been contaminated with the variety of paints I've used and stood up from my chair. Pretending like I was going to refill it with new water, I made myself trip on the leg of my stool and fell backwards on my back, holding the cup out in the direction of Mali's canvas.

Perfect. The dirty water spilled all over Mali's drawing, covering the beauty in an ugly dark fluid.

"Noooo!" Mali screamed in agony as tears started to cover her eyes. Everyone looked in our direction, but I only cared about Justin's reaction. His mouth was ajar and his pupils grew larger.

Gasp, "I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry, Mali!" I took some tissues from my desk and started helping her wipe the soaked canvas.

The host ran over to us, "Oh no! Uhm.. You still have twenty minutes left, do you want to start over on a new canvas or try to salvage this drawing?" Mali didn't say anything, she held her canvas and stared at it with a piercing intensity. "I'll… I'd like a new canvas, please," she muttered under her breath.

Justin scolded me, "Yuna, you-! You're so careless! Look at what happened to Mali's drawing! You ruined it, and we only have seventeen minutes left!" I know, that's why I did it.

Mali tried to recreate her sketch with her new canvas, but she could only do so much to catch up with the remaining time left. Although, I am severely lacking in skills compared to Mali, my abilities are still way above the others. Justin was the same.

"Alright candidates, let's reveal the winners of the competition! Third place goes to… Yuna from 4E!" As I walked to the front of the art room to claim my drawing, I couldn't help but feel like I was missing something. I stood while holding my drawing. When I looked around for Justin, he wasn't even looking at me. Rather, he was trying to comfort Mali who was bawling her eyes out because of me. "Ah.." I felt a wave of regret wash over me and my shame did not allow my eyes to gaze them any longer.

"And for second place.. We have Justin from 4E as well!" As expected. Justin reluctantly walked to the front of the room, but I noticed that he was standing far away from me. "Does he not want to stand next to me?" I thought. He kept staring at Mali who could not bring herself to raise her head any higher.

"Finally… for first place is.. Mali from 4R!" ...What. Mali finally raised her head and her expression spoke of shock. Justin's face reflected her expression but he seemed to be more excited than her. Similarly, I was so confused on how she had managed to get first place. "Come on to the front, Mali! Let's take a group photo!" 

"See~ I told you Mali, you can win even with your resketch!" Justin wrapped his arm around her neck and patted her shoulder.

"Oh, Mali didn't win through her resketch," the host corrected him.

The three of us furrowed our brows, "Huh? Then…" 

"Yes, we saw her first sketch and thought that it was so pretty! The dark colours that compliment the bright soft pink and peach really worked well together! I think that her drawing best represented the theme of 'Affection'!" A fangirl had been molded out of the host.

I couldn't believe it. I was in such disbelief that I grabbed my bag and ran out of the art room. "Hey, Yuna! Where are you going!?" Home, I'm going home. I tried all I could, I practised so hard and yet she still beat me. My efforts to knock her down only led to her victory. Not only that, they probably hate me now, I've lost the only two friends that I have in this school. Here I am, on my bed, wondering what I should do next. "I should apologise, but will they even listen to me?" My eyes welled up and my vision blurred. "I hate this, I think I'm just tired.. I should go sleep," I thought to myself as my eyes closed involuntarily. I woke up the next day, and went to the dining table.

"Good morning, sis."

"O-oh good morning, Mali," I sat down and watched her eat her cereal, "I'm sorry, Mali, for yesterday..."

"Why are you sorry? You didn't do it on purpose, and you helped me win."

"I shouldn't apologise? If you didn't win, you'd surely hate my guts right now."

"No, sis. I would never hate you, we're siblings. If I hated you, it would be pretty uncomfortable to live together, haha. In fact, I should be the one apologising to you."

My eyes started to act up again, "Why… I don't get it… You're pretty, you're good at art and you're a good person… I've tried so hard to catch up to you, but in the end it was all for nothing."

"It's not for nothing, sis. I saw your sketch during the competition, I couldn't help but be amazed. Look how far you've come while trying to catch up to me, you've improved your skills so much. It's almost unrecognisable, I'm very proud of you."

"Then why… does he not pay any attention to me?" I rested my face on my palms.

"Sis… the thing is, you're working hard for the wrong thing. I know how much you like Harry, and you're practising to impress him. But you should be trying to improve for your own sake, to be proud of yourself."

"You're such a smooth talker… but I guess you're right. I've been doing things the wrong way. Will you forgive me?"

Mali's expression softened and her smile glowed brighter. She held my hands, "I'll always forgive you."