For my hero i choose my dad

For my hero i choose my dad. Ever since i could remember my dad was my everything. He was my father, my best friend, my hero, my laughing buddy, my right hand. He was the friend i never had. We used to be each others best buds. What happened dad? Why did you change? Why aren't you my laughing buddy anymore? Why aren't you my crying shoulder? Why dad, why? I hate you so much. You abandoned me. You… you left me broken in peaces dad. WHY DID YOU DO THAT???! I loved you so fu*king much. But than you decided to just leave me?! I just want my father, my best friend back.

When you and mom divorced, you said to me that no matter whats going on with you and mom, i wouldn't be left behind. You said that everything is going to be same. Well you lied. Everything its not the same dad. You're not the same. When you left, you didn't just leave the house. You left me. You never came back. I miss our bond. I miss your laugh. I miss you. Why did you leave me? Why did you come in my life in the first place? Why dad?! WHY?!

Do you know that i started working part time? I'm entering a competition on thursday. I don't love junk food so much now. I love to cook. I know how to wash and dry laundry now. Did you know that dad? Of course not. You aren't here. Aren't you proud dad? Mom is.

I say that i don't care about you because im scared. I don't want to live the rest of my life in sadness and in guilt for you leaving me. Maybe i wasn't good enough for you?

No dad, i was. You weren't. Of course i care that you left me. I eat myself alive every single day. But at the end of the day it your fault. You're loss. You wouldn't watch me grow. You wouldn't watch me finishing school. You wouldn't watch me getting engaged. You wouldn't watch me getting married. You wouldn't watch your grandchildren. I don't want to be like you dad. I would never leave my kids like you did. Never.

As i get older and older i'm coming to a point that i don't need you dad, to be happy. Im happy that you're happy. Maybe i don't hate you. I guess its time to forgive you dad. I forgive you dad. I forgive you. After all you're still my hero dad. Maybe in another life, you will be my best buds again.

Love, Stela