27 Chapter 27 One Step At A Time

God-damned daughter-con!

After reading Law's note, I started sweating bullets wondering what he would do considering I did just beat his daughter.

Training I mean.

Although, I doubted her father would see it that way. So I did the smart thing, and did a tactical retreat…

All the way to Sylphy's bedroom.

///

"Sylphy, quick plan!" I hollered as I hung out her bedroom window.

Luckily my house is the only one that has a second floor, so I don't look like a stalker from an outsider's point of view.

"Eep!" She screamed, thrusting her palm forward.

"Wait a mom-bwahh!"

…I was thrusted out of her window.

That was an air palm. So proud…

No wait a minute, planning session!

Standing right back up, I made my way back to her window, "it's me, it's me. Don't shoot! There's something I want to talk to you about."

"Rudy?"

"You're one and only," I made my way into her bedroom, walking in slowly as I kept an eye on her, just in case she decided to get trigger happy.

She is… in her underwear, holding her hands to her chest covering her modesty.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't think I was, ah…" I turned myself to a wall facing away from her.

Should I step out? But I just went through the trouble of coming in.

"...why are you naked?"

"Rudy just trained me a couple hours ago. I just finished taking a bath."

Again, language woman, ah… girl. This is why your dad hates my guts.

"Shouldn't you have showered a couple hours ago?"

"I like to eat, and rest before bathing. It's more comfy, this way. Also, you can turn around now, Rudy."

I stand still.

"I finished changing."

Turning around slowly, I notice that Sylphy is a little red in the face, but at least she's wearing clothes.

Why is it always her that raises the flags? Then again, because she's not even on my radar, she kind of slips in, and brings about this situation. Perhaps this is the power of a main heroine? A passive ability that creates echi moments.

Impressive.

…although, I'm the one that caused this situation.

Bad thoughts away!

"Rudy?"

Ah, that's right, emergency.

"Right, we have to talk…"

After that I went on an explanation of what I have been doing, and how her father might come here any moment, to ask her about what she's been doing, and if I've been treating her right.

"But you have been treating me right," she said.

"That's true, but I don't know if your father will see it that way. He doesn't look like the understanding type that would like his little girl being hit around."

"Hmm… that's true, so what do you want me to tell him?"

"Well, 'you,' are just going to need to say we play around, and you know nothing about me and monster hunting, ok?"

"I thought Rudy hated lying."

I hate dying more.

"I do, but… this situation feels difficult. Besides, I don't think he'll like it if he found out that I'm trying to train you to be an adventurer. And it's not lying, it's… postponing the truth, we'll tell him everything in a year or two."

She narrowed her eyes, giving me a dead stare.

That hurts, please stop.

Those are weapons of mass destruction, when wielded by a girl with a pure heart.

"...I'll pay you back."

"Massage."

"Grr… ok…"

You're always going to take me for what I'm worth aren't you?

"Alright, so let's get our stories straight. Me and you do some normal exercise in the morning, we do a bit of normal studying, reading and writing, an hour later, and then we spend the rest of the day playing. Whatever I do after I'm done playing with you, you have no idea, got it?"

"Hai. Yes, sir."

Pretty sure Hai, means yes. Whatever, no reason to teach her the eccentricities to a language I barely know myself.

Baka!

"That's a good girl," I rubbed her hair, as she smiled at my touch.

"He he,"

"Alright, see you Sylphy," I open the window, and get ready to leave.

"See yah Rudy," she waves.

Stepping out the window, I start walking away, when I hear footsteps around the corner.

Jumping, hands to my side, with a gust of wind pointed to ground, I go to the roof, hoping to avoid them. I try waiting them out.

"...how long are you going to stay up there?"

It didn't work.

Taking a peek, I look down, and… it's Laws.

"I see yah, Rudy," he smiles deviously.

Oh… well… crap.

"...how much did you hear?"

He narrowed his eyes.

///

The answer was enough.

He didn't hear some of the earlier parts of our conversation, so I'm largely in the clear, but he still had enough to make my life a living hell.

That was four days ago.

I am now his gopher.

It was on that day that I ingrained into my heart to never speak bad about elves when within earshot. Elven earshot is approximately fifty meters apparently.

God damned daughter-con, and his need to be a good father.

Huh, you think you can be my daddy? Get lost! I already have one annoying father, I don't need another.

Anyways, that guy just tried to sell me down the river. Seeing as I am six, seven in a month, the guy didn't want me to be out hunting monsters. Or so he says.

Liar!

Guy tried to pierce me full of arrows on our first meeting. Doesn't take a genius to put two and two together. The guy just doesn't want me to set a bad example for his daughter. which… is an admirable quality for sure, but! It's getting in the way of our training.

Well, my training, he never did find out where Sylphy fits in all this.

After I was finished with my monster slaying parts, and felt that I've reached a reasonable level of competency, I was gonna drag her along, and teach her a few things in the future. Now that's out the window.

My plans will have to take a break for a bit.

Hence I had to unleash the seal on Sylphy's forbidden technique, and hollered to her to come and out and help me out. Giving her the signal, to unleash it.

The Puppy-Dog Eyes!

It was super effective. It worked!

Mostly…

Thanks to Sylphy, I was able to get away without Laws snitching to Paul or Zenith, but as part of 'our compromise.' He agreed not to tell, in return he would take me in an apprenticeship, and bring me along on his patrols, where I could get some proper experience while having some protection.

Win, win scenario right? Everyone wins right?

I'm technically being blackmailed aren't' I?

Well I can't deny that under our arrangement I won't be able to learn a thing or two, but in return for not telling my parents, I get to follow him around as he patrols, and get to learn how he, and the other guys in the militia, hunt monsters, and take care of their weapons. It's only been four days, and I've managed to learn a thing or two, so I'm confident, that misgivings aside, I can learn a thing or two.

A solid investment of my time.

///

"A Superb waste of time!" I threw my mess of a shirt to the corner, knocking over a washboard.

It's been three weeks since I've started my apprenticeship, and I am… annoyed…

I am in the attic, where the old Rudeus would practice his Waterballs in secret, and like the Rudeus before me, I have a bucket of water at my ready. Although instead of practicing water balls, I'm just aiming to take a bath in secret.

Why in secret?

Simple; I am a hot mess, right now, and if I were to bathe somewhere else, they would start asking uncomfortable questions like; why is the water red?

Because I love tomatoes! Why do you think?

So in order to keep my activities a secret, I've been washing my clothes and body, up here in secret. My body, my clothes, my everything, is all covered in dirt, grime, sweat, and a few blotches of dried blood here and there.

None of it mine, rather the remains of animals, and monsters that I've gutted, leaves me a sight for sore eyes.

In essence I'm a mess. I look like a butcher's son.

…and I'll bathe like one too.

In fact…

Staring at the bucket of clean water before me. I take both my hands, setting a fire on top of them, throwing them into the bucket, and setting it to boil as quickly as possible. A short moment later it's ready, and I decide to 'let out a little steam.'

Aaaaaaaah!

"Blarghggahag…" Diving my head underwater I let out a scream, before coming out for air. "Hah… hah… hah…well… that was surprisingly therapeutic. I should do it more often."

'Apprentice,' he told me.

My ass! I'm basically a water boy!

That guy…

After so 'generously,' deciding to bring me under his wing, he brought me on all his hunts, but there was a problem early on, he's an archer, and I am a swordsman. The amount of tutelage I could get from him was minimal.

The 'help,' I gave him?

That was basically me just being a bag boy. That and weapon maintenance.

So what was supposed to be a fruitful tutoring session, has turned into a community service activity.

Annoying.

That said, I can't say it's been a total waste though. I've learned how to take care of a blade, as well as some miscellaneous things such as what provisions to carry, basic monster trivia, and even learned a few knife tricks, but combat experience…

Nope. Nothing.

I haven't seen any action in weeks. Not unless you count standing in wait, as Laws shoots something down.

Which I don't.

And here I thought I would be able to train, while having the safety net of an experienced hunter. Laws being an archer and all, but no, he just shoots arrows from atop his tower, and combine that with his keen eyesight, and I end up having a very boring afternoon.

It doesn't help that monsters hibernate during winter, at least the ones around this area. Only a few of them don't, Winter Whistles, but yeah… nine times out of ten, I'm just helping him retrieve the arrows from a rabbit, more than anything else.

Sooo… all work, and no play, makes Rudy a dull boy…

Still work up a sweat though.

Now I have to wash up.

"Hmm, I wonder If I should bring some candles here, and just turn this into my own private Shangri la?" I soliloquy.

.

That would be nice. No worries. Just me, and some lightly scented candles, as the stress melts away. No Paul, no Sylphy, no Zenith, No-

"Master Rudeus, may I-" Lilia comes in, before taking notice of my disheveled appearance, "...speak… with you for a… Did something happen to you Rudy?"

No Lilia.

Well… so much for Shangri la.

I'm standing shirtless, under a mound of dirty laundry, in the attic.

I'm innocent?

Why do I have to feel guilty in the middle of my own sanctuary?

Ignoring my disheveled appearance, she strides across the room to stand before me with a worried appearance, maid uniform, and all, as well as a basket of dirty laundry, under her arm.

Always dutiful.

She usually doesn't initiate the conversation. She stands before me

"I'm fine," I answered.

"Are you sure you're fine?"

Now isn't that the million dollar question.

I wonder what I should do here? I'm not doing anything wrong… probably… but I feel like I've been caught red handed.

"I'm fine, why the sudden interest?"

She studies me closely, looking me over, before sighing in relief, "I see, I'm glad. I thought the master was doing something dangerous or foolish again. You're not pushing, yourself again are you?"

"No, like I said, I'm fine, why would you-"

She puts her hand in the basket, pulling out a shirt, and dropping it at my feet. Looking at me with a stern gaze, the basket of dirty clothes, still under her arm.

"Um… yes?"

Dropping the basket, she grabs said shirt, lifting it to my eyes, folding the collar, and revealing a spot of blood around the inside of it.

Ah, I missed a spot.

Her eyes narrowed, before looking to the corner, where I threw my latest shirt, then looking back at me with a stern gaze.

I was planning to clean it, you know?

"You are up to something. Young master you're fine right? She places her hand on my chin, and starts turning it left, and right, inspecting me, as if trying to find a cut or injury.

"So that's what you meant… and I'm a mage that can cast Heal. You won't find anything."

Well, except a bloody shirt.

She looked at me annoyed, "Master Rudeus shouldn't be injured in the first place, what-are-you-doing?"

Where did the attitude come from?

"Everything's fine, jeez. It's not mine, I've been…" I struggled with the details. But I doubt Lilia would say anything unless asked, so I spit it out, "It's from hunting. I've been helping Laws with his work. I've been meaning to increase my repertoire recently, and have been training under him for a couple weeks now. Nothing dangerous, just a bunch of menial labor and maintenance. Not dangerous."

At the end of my sentence, she kneels down, and takes hold of me. One hand on my chin, and another on the back of my head, she examines me thoroughly. Her dexterous fingers rummaged through my hair.

She's looking for an injury.

Are you a monkey? I'm fine, I'm fine. Begone wom-

…begone… begone… seriously begone… the weakness of my heart.

This is dangerous.

I hate to admit it, but all it took was a touch to set my heart in turmoil. It makes me reminisce of times best forgotten.

This is… familiar. Too much so. It's unfortunate, and disgraceful to admit, but… her touch… It still calms me.

Closing my eyes, despite knowing better, I enjoyed it. If only for a moment.

Just a moment.

At least that's what I tell myself.

I can't hate her, despite everything. I can't ignore her. The more I try, the less I can.

…dammit. I guess it's true, the one who's in love will always be the one that loses.

Her whole existence is unfair.

After three weeks of stress- no, months of stress, and it was gone. All it took was her touch to soothe me.

Feelings and logic don't always coincide.

I hold my eyes tight, and wonder… if I were to open them, what would I see when I stare into her own?

I have never stared into her eyes since that day, have I?

My eyes still, not betraying my inner turmoil, as I struggle to open them, wondering what I would see? What would her soul reflect, if I were to stare into it?

Yet… I do nothing.

For too long… and the moment passes. She lets go.

Opening my eyes, I look up to see Lilia standing still looking at me in her hands. "...you're fine," she breathes a sigh of relief. "I'm sorry for being so presumptuous. Young master always knows best. Just… don't push yourself too hard. It will worry the Madame," she lets go.

That's it?

The old you would have chastised me a bit, before we divulged into another topic. The old me would have made a sarcastic quip.

…but the new us… only gets this much.

How pathetic of us.

I've been thinking about this for a while, my feelings for her. I've been telling myself over and over, I'm over it, that it was a mistake, that it never should have happened, and that I was simply reaching out to the first person that showed me affection in this world. That it was simply the weakness of a frail heart, longing for another. That it was something that shouldn't have been. That it was doomed from the start, and this was the inevitable conclusion.

But it doesn't matter.

No matter what excuses I go over my head. The truth is the truth.

I still have feelings for her.

Sigh, the heart wants what the heart wants.

Was I always weak, or did love make me weak?

But it's over.

I just have to accept that.

She picks up the clothes she dropped before me and goes to the corner to pick up the shirt I threw in the corner, as well as grabbing the washboard, placing it on top of the basket in hand.

…and yet.

"You can just wash it here, you know. There's a tub of hot water right in front of you." She looks at me, scanning me up and down, "I believe Rudy needs a wash more than his clothes. I'll leave you be, and get to it," she bows, before making her way to the door.

I look down at my grimy self.

There is some truth to that.

"I've noticed you and Paul aren't talking anymore," before I can halt myself, I speak. As she's holding the doorknob to the room, I blurted that out.

While the Iron is hot, while we're still speaking. There are some things I want to find out, and this is probably the best chance of any.

Who knows when will be the next time we speak. Three weeks?

Halting, she answers, "yes… we don't."

"Can I ask why?"

"…there is… conflict between us. We avoid speaking to each other if at all possible."

"Hmm, tough way to talk about your daughter's father."

Shut up. Just shut up.

"Yes," she grimaces. "That."

I wonder…

"Out of curiosity, where do you two stand, are you going to be," ah this makes me want to vomit. My mouth won't stop. "Are you going to be his mistress, or some-"

"Never, in a thousand years," she cuts in.

"Thing." I finished.

"…"

Well… that was a quick response.

"I see… He's the father of your child, you know."

"Unfortunately…" she mutters.

I heard that.

…this is taking a different turn than expected. I know they don't like each other, but it seems to border closer to hate than anything else.

That's nice.

I gotta divert the topic. This conversation is making me overly hopeful. I can't afford that.

"I-I see…Well! It's a good thing you're not marrying him or anything, then I would have to call you momma Lilia, that would be a little weird."

Argh… wow… When I'm nervous, my mouth just won't stop.

Mama Lilia? Like hell! I'd leave immediately, and convince Zenith to take me to Millis to live with her.

Take me to Millis…

That was also an option, huh…

"Indeed," she speaks. "I'd imagine Lady Zenith would be extremely angry with me if she found out you'd call me momma so quickly. You know, you didn't call Zenith Momma 'till you were four, and you've never called her Mommy."

"Arg, god no, saying that has… certain connotations, I'll take a pass."

"What kind of connotation?" She tilts her head.

Annnnd there I go again. What's with today, I just keep shoving my foot in my mouth. Also, how is someone so uninnocent as you not getting the reference. Then again, with her experience she was probably dealing with a different kind of fetishes, during her dark past period.

"Hah… Lilia… you'll be the death of me."

"My apologies, Master Rudeus," she bows.

I pinch my brow at our interactions.

Please don't bow at my stupidity, it just makes it more noticeable.

So this is my new normal huh. Well, at least the awkwardness is mostly gone now.

It's time to rip the band-aid.

"So you don't have any feelings for him?"

"No, I do not."

"And you don't plan on becoming a couple?"

"Of course."

"Really?"

"Really."

"I see… that's good, that's good."

That really sets my heart at ease, but… now what?

I'm at a loss at what to do, but I can at least take solace that she didn't fall for him.

It's hard to trust her words, but after two months of passive aggressiveness that I've witnessed from those two, no, everyone in this household. I feel I can trust her actions. Besides, Lilia has always been good at directing the conversation, and half answers, but she has never, once lied to me.

At least I like to think she hasn't.

Part of me still hopes that I knew her at least that well.

To think that when this all started, I wasn't even trying to romance her. I just wanted to help her, and now… we've come such a long way from then, yet we struggle to speak with each other.

If it's going to be like this, I might as well nip some things in the bud. Even if by all right, I shouldn't know certain topics that I will start talking about, it's time I address some things.

After all, at this rate the next time we talk will be in another three weeks.

It might be too little too late, but I might as well say it.

Gathering my breath, I begin. A talk I should have had long ago.

I started things by wanting to help her, not because I loved her, just because I found her situation disagreeable. I don't need to be in love to help her out. A man should finish what he started.

"Lilia don't ever fall for a man like that. Ever. Despite the way things ended, I'd hate it if you end up with a man that doesn't realize your value. The man that marries you, has to be someone that can hold the sky, if he can't do that much he doesn't deserve you. I want you to be happy, and not settle for someone that doesn't even apologize when he is in the wrong. I want you to be loved properly, as a wife, and never settle for a mistress. I want the man that holds you…"

Even if it isn't me…

"To realize you are his treasure. Don't settle Lilia. You deserve better"

Despite how close we got, and the many topics we talked about, we were never able to speak about her 'dark,' history. I suppose it was that she didn't want to show that side of herself to me, but that's just conjecture. As such I could never really talk about certain topics. Simply hoping that my interactions would be enough.

Now that time has passed. The direct approach is the only approach.

"Rudy… that's a tall order"

"That's good, giving orders is what masters do. Besides… one should be selfish when it comes to romantic pursuits."

I've learned that much. I should have been more selfish. The expression love is selfish makes a bit more sense now.

"But seriously… if they don't recognize your value they don't deserve you. Don't ever fall for a man that doesn't recognize your value. Don't fall for a man who doesn't apologize when he's wronged you."

I slipped a little, here and there, hinting at things I shouldn't know, but I can say at least this much. We were never able to breach, 'that,' topic, the topic of her and Paul's first, 'meeting,' but I can at least say something that alludes to it.

She smiles at my words. "Master Rudeus has no need to worry. The confusion in my heart has settled now. I won't be lying with any men for… well," she runs a hand through my hair. "I have no intention of pursuing a romantic relationship anytime soon. I already decided to throw away that affair, and on top of that I have other matters to deal with," she rubs her stomach. "Thank you for caring, Rudy."

"That's good," I still wonder, "what does that make us now?"

My mouth really won't shut up today will it.

It's funny… when you're talking from the heart, the filter on your mouth loosens, and it's easier for things to come out. Even the things that you don't want to.

"…"

There goes the positive atmosphere.

We stand before each other in a minute silence, neither of us saying a word, as we stare at each other.

I guess she doesn't know either.

After a good long minute, probably… I have no watch, it might as well be an hour. An eternity.

She kneels down, placing the dirty laundry gently off to the side, before speaking, "I am Master Rudeus's Maid."

"And Paul?"

She holds my shoulders, forcing me to look at her. "Rudy," we face each other. "Paul and I were a mistake. He is my employer, and… and the father of this child, nothing more. You are… you are!" She pauses, smiling. "You are my one and only… master."

Beautiful.

Damn, I really do have a weak heart.

"Lilia, I…"

She places a finger on my lips.

"It's fine Rudy. You don't need to say a thing. I know there are things you can't say to a person. Even if you want to. If it hurts you to say it, you don't need to. This," she places her other hand over my head, "right now, is fine right?" She gives me a faint smile.

"Mmh, yeah…" I mutter through sealed lips

Is it though?

I grab the hand that has a finger on my lips, moving around our fingers 'till they interlock, and anchoring her here.

No. It isn't.

"I'm sorry," I start.

There's something I need to say.

"Rudy-"

"No, let me talk. I've been thinking hard about you, about me, about us for two months, and there are things that don't need to be said, but there are things that do. This is one of them. Lilia," I look her in the eye. She flinches at my fervor. "I'm sorry for what I did to you? I… this is slightly more difficult to say than I thought it would be. I lo- I pushed my feelings on to you, and I was hurt when you didn't return them, but you didn't betray me. I'm not entitled to your feelings. W-who you like is your decision. You were never indebted to me or owed me anything, and it was just my own selfishness that wanted more. For you to lo-like someone like me… I'm sorry I pushed my feelings onto-"

"Stop!" She yelled. "Stop! Please, stop… Rudy… I… I accept your feelings, but… don't apologize to me, no, don't ever apologize for pushing-for loving someone." She squeezes my hand. "I was happy with how you felt. Your feelings were never a mistake. I just… I was just extremely foolish," she looks at me, with tears in her eyes. "I couldn't realize what I… what we had 'till it was gone. It wasn't your fault, it was mine."

"No, I clearly had a hand in-"

"Rudeus is not at-"

"No I won't have you-"

"The young master-"

"Hey, like I said-"

"Rudy!"

"Lilia!"

And then I saw it. I saw her heart. As we are yelling, I look into her eyes, 'really,' look at them, beyond her tears, beyond her irises, and do my best to explore her soul.

I see tears, I see fear, and… I see… pain?

Pain, why?

You know why.

…

Of Course I do. I do know her the best after all. It's time to face the truth.

"Pffff, ha ha ha…" What a joke. I'm a joke. I'm the source of it all.

I'm a real piece of work aren't I.

A man shouldn't make his woman cry.

"W-w-what's so funny?" She says with a small frown, the blood rushing to her face.

"Nothing, it's just… this is the first real conversation we've had in months, and we're having a fight over who should be apologizing. This is so dumb, Ha ha…" I laugh a little, her blush becoming more prominent as she looks away annoyed.

"The young master is so stubborn," she whispers.

I heard that too.

"So are you."

I noticed our palms still interlocked.

"Oh, what the hell."

I drag her closer, and bring her into my arms.

Thinking too hard about things is what got me in this situation. I think it's time I listened to my gut.

I am a selfish person after all. I should act like it.

"I missed you," I whisper to her, as I held her in my arms.

"I missed you too…" She whispers back, hugging me.

After a moment we separate, and look into each other's eyes once more. I look into her clear lilac color eyes, and she stares into my own green, separated only by the glasses adorning her features. A melancholic smile gracing her features. The signs of pain departed.

It's funny how much you can get from someone's facial expression when you've known them for years. We both know there's things the other wants to say, but we also know this is all we can say.

But it's fine. For the first time in what seems like a millennia, we are content with where we are.

The future is unknown, but it's no longer looming over us.

We don't have to ignore each other's existence.

We can not return to what we were, too much has happened between us, but perhaps we can find somewhere in the middle to land on. Not quite friends, not quite family, just… important.

She is important to me.

Love, lust, like, it's all so convoluted, it twists my heart and brain into knots.

I was pierced by cupid's arrow, but cupid just kept shooting, leaving my heart a riddled mess, but… the facts are the facts; she is important.

I look down to our hands, and realize they're still interlocked.

…huh, that's funny, neither one of us noticed we're still holding hands.

We let go. I look into my own hand noticing some of the grime I had on me is smudged, and Lilia noticing as well, holds it to her chest for a moment, before moving it to her apron wiping it down. We'll just have to tackle our future one step at a time.

"Well… Master Rudeus, I'll leave you to your business. I will wash your shirts without a word. You need not worry about your parents."

My parents… that's right…

"Thanks. Lilia, out of curiosity… How are you dealing with your pregnancy?"

Her eyes flutter at my change of topic. "It's fine. The morning sickness took a little to get used to, but I'll manage."

"I see, Heal," I cast a spell on her. "Lilia, do you miss Zenith?"

"Yes, I do, but I-"

"Yep, no, that's enough. That's all I needed to know. I need to take a bath now, see you at dinner."

She opens her mouth.

"Masters orders." I interjected.

As I said, I am a selfish person, and now that I've managed to strengthen our bond, I can't help but want more. This household is made of more than me and her. It's time I start taking steps for those two as well.

Your compliance won't be necessary Lilia. This time around I'm going to be a little more pushy. Funny enough I was already quite pushy, but… I was actually holding back.

This time I'll hold back just a little less.

I left her alone to do her maid duties, as I warmed up the water that had gone cold during our interaction.

"Well? Are you going to give me room, I'm actually quite cold standing here shirtless like this for so long."

Her eyes flutter, as she processes what I just said, looking me up and down, before realizing the state I'm in.

I'm cold.

"O-O-Of course."

You'd think she had noticed I'm shirtless after checking my body over for wounds and whatnot.

Grabbing the shirt I had worn previously, she makes a dash out the room.

"Lilia wait, the-"

Bang!

She slammed the door on the way out.

How cold~

"The washboard…" I stood slack jawed a bit at her reactions. Her reactions caught me off guard. She left without taking the washboard with her.

I guess I'll have to wash my own clothes one more time.

I almost forgot how fun it is to break her cold demeanor.

Careful Lilia, if I didn't know better, I might call you a maiden in love, ha ha ha…

jokes still hurt.

I turn back to my tub of water waiting for me, eager to enter my shangri la finally. "It's cold…" I swirl the pool of water, letting my finger make whirlpools as I reheated it.

"...so dutiful."

///

After that, we spent some time catching up, as it were. How she's dealing with her pregnancy, how she's dealing with the cold, her relationship, or lack thereof, with Paul and Zenith, etc.

Overall, it was nice.

I don't know if we'll ever go back to what we used to be. Except for that one hug, I can't see myself hugging her too much in the future. But she will be in my future. That much is decided. If only for the coming three years.

Now then… How do I repair her and Zenith's relationship?

With our relationship melded, I can only selfishly rebuild Lilia's and Zenith's as well. Excluding the nuisance that is Paul, Lilia and Zenith's most important relationship was to each other. I intend to make it so once more.

Before all this they were definitely best friends, or at least that's how I saw it.

I missed Lilia, and if I missed her… then I know Zenith did too.

Now how?

"...and so the Dragon King ascended to his castle, where he waited for the revival of the demon lord once more, so he could vanquish him, and peace could flourish eternally, the end."

Huh, what? Oh the end.

"Ah, huh… yeah," I yawned.

That was… dull…

I kind of Zoned out there for a moment, thinking about the future.

At the current moment, it is night time, and we are currently sitting in bed, me and Zenith, enjoying a night time read. Me with my back against her, sitting between her legs, and her with her arms on either side of me, holding the book between us as she reads from it. Just another bedtime experience.

We don't need to read it like this, but I think she just enjoys the closeness.

Although, enjoyment might be a bit of an exaggeration.

I wished she had better reading material.

As part of our ending routine, Zenith and I, spend time reading bedtime stories together as I go to sleep.

At first it was quite… 'novel.'

Patush-tush.

But this world's literature really is-no, I'll just say it: It's boring as hell. I've said it once, I'll say it a thousand times. Reading fantasy stories in this world is dull. Have you ever read Romeo, and Juliet.

Yeah, yeah, classic. You know what else it is. Pretentious as all fuck!

'I was just waltzing within the winter winds.'

What are you even saying?! Asuran, motherfucker, do you speak it?!

The plot is good, but every little thing gets a speech or a detail. Like that winter quote. I guess it has its appeal, but still! Shakespearean is a term for a reason, but it's just not my cup of tea.

'My lord, the enemy is at hell's gate. Fear not young sir, for it is I the great armored dragon king son of the Crystal, and master of fairies. Fear not for you have… Blah, blah, blah… Shut-Up!

Why the hell do all your writings sound like this? Do all your protagonists have their heads up their own asses? Argggg!

Anyways, except for the history books, which I've read through already, and starting to have some doubts about as well. The tales in this world have a habit of speaking in a grandiose manner that really kills the mood. Ironically, they read like Xianxia's despite existing in a fantasy.

"You don't like this, do you?" She pouts.

Ooph! Right in the heart.

"I did…once… guess I'm just too old for them now." I scratch bashfully, at my cheek.

Not a lie; like Romeo and Juliet, I could read the first or second time just fine. They're still a pleasant read. But after that? That's just torture!

Zenith frowns.

Leaning up, I kiss her on the cheek.

Don't say I don't know how to soothe her.

She hugs me tightly, nuzzling her chin on my shoulder, her body pressing against me.

"I think the story is a bit outdated," I confess.

"Mmm, I think we've already read everything. I guess we could read from the bestiary one more time?" she proposed.

"Isn't that just homework?"

"Ha ha, I guess you're right. So, nap time?" She offers.

"Are you sleepy?"

"No, but what do we do?"

"Well, there is one story I am curious about. Why don't you tell me about you?" I asked.

"Me?"

"Yeah, why not?"

"Sure! Well~ Mama used to be a legendary adventure, you know," she raises her chin proudly. "Let's see, there was a time when Ghilaine once had to deliver-"

"As interesting as that sounds," and I'm sure it would be, but I have a clear objective for tonight.

I raise my voice a higher octave so I can stop her before she gets steamrolling. She does that from time to time, "how 'bout you work to it. I want to hear about your beginning."

She flutters her eyes rapidly in confusion, "the beginning?"

"Yeah, you know. Your everyday life. Who you were? What you did, when you were five, ten, fifteen, you know; the story of Zenith."

I'm not trying to play to her ego or anything. It is something I'm genuinely curious about. Unlike these stories, filled with hyperbole and exaggeration. I'd rather hear the story about her, and how she started her life. As someone that came from the real world, who once considered her fiction, I am genuinely interested about her past. The author barely explored her.

I'm curious!

I want to know who the woman behind the man is as it were.

Where is the DLC?! Let it out woman; give me the bonus content!

She is from a different country, a different religion, and different culture, and yet her background was barely dived into.

Such a travesty!

Indeed, tell me about the story, the myth, the legend… of Zenith!

Jokes aside, I do wanna know who she is, or more accurately who she was.

"My… story? Rudy… are you sure? Noble life isn't exactly exciting."

"Yep."

"Really?"

"A-ha," I agreed once more.

"You sure? My life was much more exciting when I started traveling, you know."

"Yup," I kiss her cheek, "you're a thousand times more interesting than some foggy tale about some old dungeon explorers. Now stop skipping ahead, and tell me your life's story."

Besides… If I play my cards right, I could get closer to her, and use that closeness to bridge the gap between her and Lilia.

Operation relationship fixer is a go!

I am neutral with the Paul scenario, but with Lilia and Zenith, I don't mind taking a more proactive stance.

Hypocrite? Go f yourself. If it's for my important 'ones,' I will gladly be the biggest hypocrite in the world. Paul does not fit into that equation. If this is what it takes to get them to smile. It will be worth it.

///

Zenith [pov]

Rudy fell asleep against me.

"Yosh, Rudy, falling asleep when a woman is talking to you is not the way to treat a lady. Who taught you that? What are you going to do when you hurt your future wife's feelings?" I whispered, as I ran my hand through Rudy's hair. "Consider yourself lucky that I am so understanding."

I was telling him the story of when Anise, Therese and I were pulling a prank on our elder brother, pulling his mattress into the garden. It might not have been a thrilling story as Rudy was expecting, but it's my story, and I enjoy it.

"Honestly," I flick his nose.

Like Rudeus my brother Edgar was diligent and talented, but unlike him, he did not make time for his sisters. When he got older, he would leave the household and I would only see him at family events. Such as marriage proposals. But it wasn't always like that.

Once there was a time we were all children, and were free to enjoy our time together. By the time I could read or talk, big brother was already twelve, and starting to distance himself, so I was never able to see his carefree side, but according to my sisters, he did have one. So they decided to prove it. One day me and my sisters decided to pull a prank on him.

He was quite annoyed.

But… he smiled.

Back then, when all my siblings were still living under the same roof, we were happy. Those times were so liberating. At that time I hadn't started any etiquette lessons yet, Anise was willing to entertain me and Therese was just so cute, and adorable. It was a simpler time. It was a time when we could laugh and play merrily. Even Edgar, despite being so cold, would still break his demeanor if we tried hard enough.

Although, mother wasn't amused and had us help in the garden during the scenario I mentioned, but… that's a story for another day.

"I'll tell you all about it when you wake up," I play with his hair, running my hand through his hair strands. "After all," I look at his hands, and notice the signs of some grime underneath a couple nails, "you've already had a long day haven't you?"

Grime can be very difficult to get out of your fingernails.

Despite the closeness we now have, he still does his own little thing in secret, but unlike Paul, I don't have to worry about it being something nefarious. I just hope we'll get close enough to the point he doesn't feel the need to hide it. Whatever 'it,' is.

As long as he's only 'a little,' tired, and not 'a lot,' tired I can afford look the other way. This closeness isn't something I want to give up.

I go back to playing with his hair, bringing my hands to the side of his face, as he pushes unknowingly against it.

How cute~

I move my hand from his face, down to his neck, tracing it with the back of my hand, slowly and slowly, until it reaches his collar bone, and… his neck starts twisting, "mmh," he moaned.

"Heh~" I found a weak spot. "Consider this your punishment for sleeping on me. Your future wife might not be as kind as me."

Leaving my hand on his collarbone, trapped between his hand, I wiggle it a little, making Rudy give a pained expression. He's ticklish there. It's something I found out one night, when we were sleeping, and it is something I take advantage of from time to time.

"This is for sleeping on me…"

I pick at his collar bone.

"Mmh…" he groaned, his neck arching.

Heh~ how fun~

Just a little though. I'm only a little annoyed.

"I suppose I did ramble a bit, so I'll give you a pass tonight," I let my hand free, letting him enjoy a goodnight's rest. I get closer, and give him a kiss on the forehead. "Stay awake next time will you."

"I really am lucky to have you. You are my precious gift from Millis. I hope you never grow up. Your wife can have you for the rest of her life, but I get to have you for the rest of this decade." I pat him affectionately. "In any case, thank you for listening."

Looking out the window, I notice the stars sparkling.

It really is like those early days, just filled with warmth and hope for the future. It's like a fairy tale. Perhaps happily ever afters are real. I am really happy right now. Happier than I thought I could be, all things considered.

If this isn't a blessing from Millis, then nothing is.

This is supposed to be the darkest period of my life, and yet…

I turned to Rudy. I can't help but think that it wouldn't be so bad if this continued just a little longer.

I tap his nose with my finger, causing him to scrunch his nose unconsciously.

Adorable.

One day, he's going to grow up, and become a real heartbreaker, too old to sleep in his mama's bed, but… that day isn't today.

I hold my son close to my heart.

All this talking reminded me of my past has made me nostalgic. Back to when I was a little girl, back before even my parents cared about appearances, before rules, and I was free to frolic with my siblings. The everyday, carefree days, that brought a smile to my face. These days… really are the best.

I wonder what they're doing now?

"Yawn…"

…my eyes are getting tired.

I guess I really did talk for a long time.

Looking at Rudy one last time, I made sure to hold him tight like always, and kissed him one more time. "Good night, my Rudy. Tomorrow… let's frolic some more."

I truly am blessed.