17 NETFLIX?
previously on big bang theor...ehm ehm multiverse cafe
NEXT DAY
I had just woken up and came down when the door is smashed open again and the avengers walk in captain America with his shield ,Thor with his hammer and Tony in his suit with natasha and Clint behind them all geared up and battle ready
.Dracule:"OHH COME THE FUCK ON NOT AGAIN WHAT'S THAT DOOR EVER DONE TO YOU CAPES "
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dracule:"do you idiots not know how to knock or open a door!!??,or is it just that you forget your manners and common sense when you decide to wear those cringeworthy costumes? i fuck you not I will turn the next person to kick my poor door into a fucking DUCK!!"
The avengers just look at each other and me dumbfounded and confused,it seems like a pissed of cafe owner on the warpath for his poor abused door wasnt what they were expecting when they got battle ready and entered a floating door that magically appeared in their lounge.
Tony":...ahh sorry?"
Tony:"wait why am I saying sorry? your door was in our living room!!"
dracule";so what's that got to do with me?"
natasha":but its YOUR door!"
dracule":yeah so? I dont micromanage its life it can go where ever it wants to."
The avengers:????
steve;"forget that just who are you?"
dracule":oii its rude to ask for someone's name before giving yours especially since you entered my cafe like this."
Tony:"wait you're saying you don't know who we are..?"
dracule:"why...should I?"
Steve:"ehm we are the avengers a team of superheroes that protect the world my names Steve Roger's aka captain America,my friends here in the metal suit is Tony stark aka iron man,the big guy with the hammer is Thor, the man with the bow and arrow is Clint Barton aka Hawkeye and the lady is black widow aka natasha romananoff we have a another member but he isn't here with us today."
dracule":yeah..I know"
Clint:'but you just said that you didn't!"
dracule:"bitch I said should I know not that I didn't know...man what an idiot "
Tony:"ok were done with the introductions now who the fuck are you?"
in response I just create a hand infront of each one of them and before they can react I slap em with an updated information envelope(I added in info about the sling rings.future Sight and flying thunder god)
Tony":....NO FUCKING WAY!!!!"
steve:"sigh....and I though aliens were wierd "
Thor":...BY THE ALLFATHERS "
Clint":whistles"
natasha":ooh furys not gonna like this one bit."
Tony:"but how.how is this possible for that matter how are any of those products possible they make no sense!!"
dracule:'well...you see about that...do you want to know a secret of the universe."
Tony nods
dracule";well you see the laws of science and reality are really more like guidelines for people like you to follow and for people like me to laugh at"
Tony:!!( ͡ಥ ︹ ͡ಥ)
Tony looks like I just killed his cat and pissed on it infront of him
Steve:"do you really sell products like that coke so cheaply?"
natasha;"and those sling rings aswell?"
dracule;"well yes I'm unlike your friend over there I'm an actual God dafuck am I gonna do with money?"
Thor":hey we never claimed to be gods,its just what the earthlings called us!"
dracule:"hmmm and what about your brother then?"
Thor".:...ehm hes a special case....and adopted"
natasha":nevermind that what's the price of the sling rings and flying thunder God they weren't in the info packet?"
.....that's cuz i haven't thought of that yet...damn it this is why I release my aura usually...there to scared to ask questions then.
dracule:"for the flying thunder God 500 dd while for the sling rings 50 dd per ring plus 15 dd per month subscription"
natasha:"!!do these rings also have also have a limit to the amount we can buy."
dracule":yes 1 per person..also dont think of bringing all your shield agents here only interesting people or heroes are allowed, out of shield the only person you can bring is fury."
natasha:"sigh fine "
clint:"I can already tell furys gonna just love this guy."
Tony:"15 dd subscription per month what is this Netflix,rent a superpower? heh"
Tony says jokingly
dracule:"rent a superpower.....huh that's not a bad idea actually "
AVENGERS" :Wait really!!?"
dracule:"yeah sure why the fuck not..hell I'll even add in technopathy as a superpower for Tony 50 dd per month."
Tony:"holy shit!!"
Thor":incredible!! could you add in a flying power I dont wish to be reliant on mjiolnir all the time "
dracule: "sure why not also I'll limit it to only one power at a time,so choose wisely "
natasha":wait so your seriously just gonna allow random people to become supers!!"
dracule";yeah sure why not what could possibly go wrong."
natasha:!!!
Clint:"oh thankgod,relax nat atleast we wont be the only non supers on the team now"
natasha":sigh fine."
dracule:"now then what would you like to buy?"
alll the avengers bought one of each product and chose to buy 1 sling ring each with the subscription(the way to use them gets transferred to their minds and my rings dont need magic or energy)as they were going to leave after promising to come back tomorrow to see what superpowers were on sale,
I suddenly stopped Tony
dracule:"Hey tony!"
Tony stops and so do the rest of the avengers turning around to look at the both of us curiously.
Tony:"yeah?"
dracule:"your one of the smartest men in your world right"
Tony:"ofcourse I am "
Tony says proudly
dracule:"you know what nevermind,I dont think you can do it"
Tony and the avengers:??
Tony":hey you can't just leave me hanging like that"
Steve:"yeah Tony might not be the most reliable of a man sometimes but he is no doubt one of the most smartest so if there is something you should tell him"
Tony:"thanks I guess?"
dracule:"well you see I issued this challenge a weak ago that anyone who can figure out how one of my products is made will get a customized product from me."
The avengers;!!!!!
Tony :"holy shit why didn't you say so before!!"
dracule: "well you see two people have already accepted the challenge and they both have a head start on you one of them is known as his worlds best detective and has 14 masters degrees while the other one is a chief warlock and is know as the greatest wizard of his age...you sure you can compete?"
even the avengers were unsure at this point as both those men seemed amazing and had a whole weeks head start
Tony:"hah who cared about them or there headstarts ill just prove I'm starter."
Tony flies out the door shouting at Jarvis to clear all his meetings and get the lab ready
while I'm just laughing sadisticly and maniacaly inside my head.
THAT NIGHT AT SHIELD HQ
Fury while looking(ehm glaring) at the avengers
Fury:"so you're telling me some God who is strong enough to destroy our universe has opened up a multiversal cafe that is selling miracle products and fucking superpowers like candy and its door is floating in your lounge?"
The avengers:....yes.
Fury:....MOTHERFUCKER!!!
AUTHORS NOTE:
after reading your comments I've seen a lot of people dont like yao so I've changed it to the pheinix force plus one other (the Phoenix force is confirmed no more changing just pick one more)
