487 Death Scion

A storm raged inside Kai.

Pull anything out of nowhere? What kind of horrible Ability was it? If these things had been Items, then Kai could have made his peace with them. But they were not. All were just random things.

"That's it?" Kai asked incredulously. "How is that an Elite Ability?"

The Cartoonist craned his neck up, twisting it in Kai's grip. Took a bite of the carrot, and said, "It worked against the Kings, didn't it?"

Yes. Kai reluctantly accepted. It did work against the combined wrath of the Kings.

The more Kai became stronger, the more he found himself unable to comprehend the true might of a King-level Contestant's strength.

It was especially so when Kai had an Elite Ability as well. He could tell for sure that Parseltongue, despite helping him create a Multiverse Interdependency between the Primordial Laws, could not save him against the Kings.

And then it struck him, like a bolt of lightning out of the clear sky.

"You can pull out Artifacts, can't you?" Kai asked.

The Cartoonist looked away, sweating. "No. I can't."

The red LED on the kicked Lie Detector beeped. "Damn you!" the Cartoonist cursed, looking at the machine. "Traitor!"

Kai let the man fall to the ground. "That is indeed something," he said, his hazel eyes shining. "Still, not enough to let you survive for long. It sure doesn't explain the odd things I have seen happening around you, because of you, since my arrival."

"I have no control over them," the Cartoonist explained, taking out a Cervical Collar (-neck braces-), and putting it around his neck. "They just happen, doc. It is controlling them that is impossible, not letting them go with the flow. Got it?"

This time, Kai did get it.

It's the same as the chill that surrounds my Dementor-form, Kai reasoned, recalling the transformation. That coldness of despair is no Ability. Nor is it a Skill. It just… exists. Like an innate characteristic. So that's how it is. What a mind-boggling idiocy… and yet, powerful existence this Cartoonist is?! The World of Cartoons sure is a terrifying place. Well… terrifying enough to debug me, at least.

Still, Kai could tell that "Ass Pull" wasn't the only absurd Ability the Cartoonist possessed. There was something more horrifying and terrible in his Stats which the man didn't dare to mention. If it was before, Kai could have beaten it out of him, no matter the consequences.

But with Calmness had come prudence as well, and it had brought an abundance of patience and cunning with it.

Kai wanted this Item for himself, and he must not do something so exaggerated that would increase his odds regarding it.

"Why are you looking at me like that, eh?" the Cartoonist asked, biting the carrot. "I will not give you my carrot…"

"Pull out a Resurrection Stone." Kai cut in, his tone unhurried.

"What?"

"Well," Kai repeated, smiling, "you did say you can pull out of your ass anything. Pull out a Resurrection Stone."

"This…" the Cartoonist gulped. "This is impossible. Resurrection Stone is a powerful Artifact, doc. Let's not talk about how much it will hurt my ass… Ahem! Still, that's not how Ass Pull works.

"The more specific the thing, the harder it becomes to pull it out. Usually, I just go with my godly instincts, you know. No gap between thinking and acting. You see, I told you. You can't comprehend my godliness."

"Don't take pride in acting without thinking." Kai kicked his butt. "Do it."

"Alright!" the Cartoonist scowled, rubbing his ass. "Look away. No? Do whatever you wish, then."

The Cartoonist began walking left and right, mumbling to himself, and giving Kai hateful looks. Sometimes he just randomly paused and fumbled behind him, twisting his waist, his chest facing Kai. But more often than not, he just sweated, looking up at the sky.

"Oh, come on!" the Cartoonist cursed, throwing a pineapple on the ground. He turned around and fumed at Kai. "Look. I can't work like that man. It's like peeing while being watched by someone from behind. Look away. I promise I won't run."

The LIE Detector beeped a red light.

"For fuck's sake!" the Cartoonist ran toward the machine and stomped on it. "Why haven't you gone by now, you piece of traitorous shit?!"

Kai almost laughed. He turned around.

The Cartoonist's eyes widened. He looked at Kai's back, then looked over his shoulder, and let his gaze return toward Kai. "Is this some trick?" he asked, pulling on his rabbit ears. "If it is, then I am not falling for it, doc. Haha! You almost got me. Heh! Not this time."

Grinning, the Cartoonist adjusted his head, and then nonchalantly reached behind, turning his waist.

A flower… He put it over his ear.

Again.

A Banana… He peeled it and threw away the white flesh. The Cartoonist hated bananas. Though he did keep the banana skin in the pocket of his shorts.

Once more.

A marble…

Another marble…

And the Cartoonist began playing with them. Only when Kai's feet shifted did he stand back up, resuming the task.

"Why stretch the things, man?" the Cartoonist mumbled under his breath. "We both know the Resurrection Stone must come out, eventually. How else are you planning to move the plot ahead?"

"What did you say?" Kai raised his voice.

"Nothing!" the Cartoonist shouted back. "Ears like a fucking peacock!"

"I heard that," Kai said, his face still pointed toward the sea.

"Well," the Cartoonist spat, biting the carrot, "good for you, then." Without thinking or expecting, he reached behind him, still cursing Kai in his mind.

It was then he felt something solid, faceted, and small in his hand.

The Cartoonist couldn't believe it. Slowly, he brought his hand forward and looked at the object he had pulled out. "Slap me on the face and call me mama!"

Kai looked over his shoulder, and his eyebrows also lifted involuntarily. The Cartoonist was holding it. The Resurrection Stone.

He actually did it! The words rocked in Kai's mind. Ass Pull… What an insane Ability! I must admit. I judged it too soon.

Kai walked up to him and took the Stone off the Cartoonist's palm. "You did good," he praised. "Perhaps you aren't that much of a burden."

"What's that supposed to mean?" the Cartoonist snapped back. "Of course, I am the greatest. Who else can take my place? Burden? No, no, my gullible friend. I am the only… Wait! This?!"

The Cartoonist's eyes trembled as he realized the meaning behind Kai's statement. He snapped his head up, looked at the sky, and screamed, pulling his ears. "No! Please! I am very comfortable here, man. I am very much… truly. Don't do this!"

Kai ignored the half-crazy Contestant and approached the Hotline. He couldn't feel anything from the Resurrection Stone. Yet, he could tell, it was the real thing, alright.

A click sound originated as the Stone plummeted down the hole in the middle of the red telephone.

Then Kai lifted the handset and put it against his right ear, the transmitter reaching down near his mouth.

"Hello, Death Hotline!" a female answered on the other end, her voice crisp as if she hadn't spoken in ages. "How may I help you?"

Kai buried the oddity of hearing the words inside him and replied, "May I speak to…" What now? Speak to whom? "… May I speak to… Death, please?"

"Code Name?" the female demanded.

"Blood Demon."

"Please hold, Mr. Blood Demon. Let me amuse you with our discounted services in the meantime."

~-Do you fear becoming an undead? Do you wonder what will happen if you get stuck as a zombie, inferi, or dead sex slave? And do you worry about dying alone? Apply to the Death Caretaker Service now and get yourself a discount of 25%…-~

"…"

"Thank you for waiting," the female said, returning to the other side. "Mr. Blood Demon, you are a Death Scion, as per our records. Ergo, you are qualified to have one-to-one conversations with Death. I see you are recognized by 5 Deaths. May I know which Death would you like to speak to?"

***************

AN: You can access up to 21 chapters ahead of WN on Patr-eon and Ko-Fi, divided among different tiers. Thank you!