I Expected This. But Why Does It Hurt?

"Have you heard about that new Deathwalker?"

Apollo asked as he approached me, covered in blood and with his left arm chopped off but very much alive.

"Hm?", I looked at him and scooted a little to let him sit beside me on the blood-soaked boulder.

I was resting after a particularly intense battle against the daemons when he approached.

Recently, the appearance of Abnormal daemons had intensified, wreaking havoc and claiming the lives of many Deathwalkers, veterans included

I lost my right leg below the knee after three nasty Abnormal daemons jumped me when I was cooking the fangs out of a wraith.

I killed them all, of course, but still, losing a leg sucks. 

Fortunately, the remaining daemons retreated or got destroyed soon after my surprise amputation.

"New Deathwalker?" I furrowed my brow as Apollo settled beside me, "We get rookies all the time. Why the interest in one Deathwalker?"

"Cause she's a tall and ultra gorgeous lady with fiery red hair and eyes.", Apollo pointed out with a grin.

I glanced at him skeptically, "Apollo, that sounds like the Incarnus of Ignis."

"No. He's right.", Artemis chimed in, appearing unexpectedly unscathed, "There really is a striking Deathwalker with red hair and eyes."

I frowned again, "And why are we talking about that Deathwalker again?"

"That's because we have never seen her in the Shield.", Artemis replied, "Someone of her age and beauty would surely stick out."

"Again, why are we fixating on her?", I asked, rolling my eyes.

"Cause she's hot.", Apollo declared with a smirk.

Artemis let out a sigh, "He has a thing for mature ladies."

"No wonder you're always trying to flirt with Dorothy.", I teased Apollo, a small smile playing on my lips.

His grin widened, "And it's working. She seems rather taken with me."

"You're delusional," Artemis countered, rolling her eyes.

A silence settled over us, punctuated by the sounds of the battlefield and the cries of injured comrades being tended to by Scavengers and healers.

"It's been a week.", Artemis remarked, her tone tinged with melancholy.

I cast my gaze over the field, observing the fallen and the wounded, as well as those standing with vacant expressions while the Scavengers and healers moved amongst them.

"She'll bounce back. I'm sure of it, "Artemis offered, her voice carrying a note of hope, "She's our captain, after all."

"Yep!", Apollo chimed, "And when she wakes up, she'll immediately assault you upon seeing you're devilishly handsome face."

I smiled, "Thanks, man. I feel a bit better now."

"You were very vicious today, especially against the wraiths.", Artemis pointed out.

"Was I?", I asked, surprised at her words. Whenever I see a wraith, my vision turns red and I don't recall what happens next.

She nodded, a little disturbed, "You eviscerated every single wraith that crossed your path."

"Ah.", I realized and closed my bloody fist, "I guess whenever I see one, I remember what they did to Iris and I..."

My voice broke and I gritted my teeth.

"I should've been there for her."

Artemis placed her own blood-soaked hands on top of mine.

"Don't blame yourself. I understand why you would go berserk against those wraiths. But take a moment to think about it. It was all her brothers.", she said softly.

Her words calmed me down a little and I unclenched my fists, "Thanks Artemis."

"Speaking of her brothers.", Apollo piped in, "I heard the outside world is in an uproar."

"Silas and Cyrus Karsus were found guilty of conspiring to compromise the safety of the Shield and endangering the lives of three members of the royal family.". he explained.

He continued, "And to make matters worse, evidence of illegal human experimentation done by the brothers was found in Karsus Estate."

Artemis shuddered, "They were doing those fucked up experiments under the nose of the Duke."

I cocked my eyebrows, "So what is His Majesty's verdict?"

Apollo snorted, "Isn't it obvious? Death by execution."

"And the weird thing is.", Artemis added, "Duke Karsus himself volunteered to execute them."

She crossed her arms, "Truly a coldhearted man."

"Interesting.", I murmured and watched the healers approaching us.

*******

"It's been a week."

I told Iris, lying on the bed and connected to life support systems.

Her face, peaceful in her slumber remained spotless despite the horrific injuries that marred her visage. Dr. Haytham and his team did an amazing job.

Using my blood, they were able to neutralize the wraith venom, reattach her severed hand, and heal her entire body in two days.

"The Doc is really a miracle worker.", I smiled melancholically.

My hand trembled as I gripped the side of the bed, the weight of the moment pressing down upon me like a leaden weight.

The room seemed to close in around us, the silence broken only by the steady beep of the monitors that monitored her every breath.

"Iris," I murmured, my voice barely more than a whisper, "Please... please wake up. You told me to wake you up."

Nothing. Not even a flicker of her long eyelashes in response to my words, just as it had been for the entire week.

As I lingered in that space, the mechanical hum of life support machines becoming my unwelcome companions, the door slid open behind me.

I turned around and blinked twice to register what I saw.

It was a tall and gorgeous Deatwalker with fiery red hair and eyes. She wore the standard Deathwalker uniform and looked very good in it.

Her eyes fell on me and she gave me a warm smile.

"Mordred," she greeted, her voice a gentle reassurance amidst the tension.

I know that voice and she looked very familiar.

"No way... Mother?", I gawked at the Deathwalker.

She chuckled and snapped her fingers. In an instant, the fiery hue of her hair softened to familiar golden locks, and her eyes transformed from crimson to a comforting sapphire blue.

"What is up with that?", I asked, very much confused at seeing her like that.

Guinevere smiled, "I had to be useful if I am staying in the Shield for a week. Fortunately, I was a Deathwalker."

She flexed her fingers, "I am happy to say I haven't lost my touch."

"So that was a disguise?", I asked.

Guinevere nodded affirmatively, "Indeed. It wouldn't quite do for the High Queen to be seen battling daemons and wraiths. I may have had to exert a bit of pressure on Kay to let me join the fray."

I sighed, "You should've gone back with Gawain. You didn't have to stay."

"And leave you here, consumed by anguish and anxiety? Not a chance," she retorted, pulling up a chair beside me.

"Gawain had to return to catch up on his classes in Avalon," she continued, "Otherwise, he would have stayed with you as well."

Concern flashed across my face. "But what about Trinity? Won't she miss you?"

Guinevere chuckled softly, "Trinity will manage just fine. I suspect Arth will relish having her around a bit longer."

Her gaze shifted to Iris, her expression growing somber, "She hasn't woken up yet?"

I shook my head, a heavy weight settling in my chest. "Not a stir. I'm scared, Mother."

Guinevere enveloped me in a comforting embrace, "It's okay to be scared. But we must have faith. Fear not, my dear. She will wake up. I have faith in her strength."

I clenched my fist, "Even if she wakes up, what if she..."

"Let's just hope that will never happen.", she murmured softly and kissed my forehead.

"In the meantime," she said, a mischievous glint in her eyes, "You could enjoy the feeling of my boobs on your face."

I rolled my eyes and shrugged myself off her embrace, "Stop it, Mother. You're married."

She couldn't suppress a giggle, "Oh, come on. A little humor never hurt anyone."

I sighed, "You really should return to Camelot. Your responsibilities as High Queen—"

"Meh! Morgan can handle them," she waved off my concern.

I leveled a stare at her, "You're quite the lousy queen."

Guinevere shrugged nonchalantly, "I've always said your mum was a better queen than I'll ever be."

A wistful smile graced her lips, "One moment she's fooling around in the training hall, and the next she's commanding a meeting with authority."

"Mum was a Locus user?" I asked, surprised.

She sighed, "I meant she was just that adept at being High Queen."

Suddenly, a soft gasp broke the conversation.

I snapped my head toward the bed, my eyes widening.

Iris's eyelashes were flickering.

"Mother, get the Doc!" I urged urgently.

"On it!" Guinevere was already out the door as Iris's eyes slowly fluttered open.

Rushing to her side, I watched as she began to cough violently and quickly sat up on the bed.

"Whoa! Whoa! Easy there," I supported her body until her coughing subsided.

Her eyes fluttered open, blinking in confusion. Her gaze wandered around the room before finally settling on me.

"Iris..." My voice trailed off, a mixture of relief and anxiety washing over me.

Relief that she was awake, but anxious as I noticed her bewildered expression, as if she didn't recognize me.

She blinked again, confusion evident in her expression. "Where... where am I?", she asked in a weak voice.

I swallowed hard, trying to find the right words, "You're in Althea, Iris. You were quite injured."

I let out a nervous chuckle, "You gave me quite the scare."

My gaze shifted to her blue eyes and my heart froze.

Her expression was blank, a void where her identity should have been.

She tilted her head in confusion.

"I'm sorry. Who is Iris?" she asked, her voice trembling with uncertainty.

My heart clenched at her words, a wave of disbelief crashing over me as I stared at her.

"You... you're Iris," I replied, struggling to keep my voice steady.

This must be a joke. She must be messing with me.

But there was no flicker of recognition in her eyes, no spark of remembrance. She looked at me as if I were a stranger.

"Iris, it's me. Mordred," I said, desperation creeping into my voice.

She shook her head, confusion etched on her features, "I'm sorry. I don't know you."

Her words hit me like a blow from Asphodel. A knot formed in my throat, choking back the emotions threatening to overwhelm me.

My breathing became heavy, and my hands shook uncontrollably as I struggled to maintain composure.

With a visible effort, I forced a smile onto my face as I looked at her.

"Oh my. Is that so? But I'm a friend," I spoke, my voice steadier than ever.

Iris looked at me with confusion and uncertainty, her eyes searching for something familiar in my face, "A friend?" she echoed, her voice tinged with doubt.

I nodded, the motion feeling mechanical.

"Yes. A friend. Now if you'll excuse me," I said, my voice trailing off as I turned away

As I reached the door, I stepped aside to let Dr. Haytham and the healers rush into the room.

Ignoring their presence, I stepped out into the corridor and leaned against the wall, my legs suddenly feeling weak and unsteady beneath me.

"Mordred?"

I looked up to see Guinevere standing before me, her expression a mixture of confusion and concern.

But as our eyes met, her facade crumbled, and tears welled up in her eyes.

"Mother," I whispered, my voice barely more than a breath as I stumbled forward, the weight of my grief threatening to crush me.

Swift as the wind, Guinevere enveloped me in her arms as I surrendered to the overwhelming tide of emotions that raged inside me.

Deep down, I expected something like this would happen. But why does it hurt so much?

So I wept in Guinevere's arms, my crying echoing off the cold corridor walls.