5 The Chapter where Almost Nothing Happens until the End

{The Next Day}

Kevin was already up and eating a breakfast of reheated sausage and pancakes by the time Alice returned to waking world. In fact, it was the fragrant smell in the air that woke her up in the first place. Fortunately for her, he'd also set aside some for her as well.

"Morning, sleeping beauty," he greeted her as she slithered up to the edge of the dying fire pit. "I thought your lazy ass was going to sleep all day. Not gonna lie, I was planning to leave you behind if you didn't get up by the time I was done eating."

Alice, too sleepy to even think about snarking back, settled back against her snake half and unceremoniously began shoveling food into her mouth, only stopping every few seconds to wash it down with water. It may still not have been enough to even slightly satiate her hunger, but she had to admit that it tasted amazing.

"By the way," the Eevee cut in again, placing the leftover garbage in a special part of his backpack like the day before. "Does the name 'Ilias" ring a bell to you?"

The choice of words, as well as the tone they were spoken in, were enough to make even the gluttonous lamia pause mid-chew. To anyone else, the question would be beyond stupid, as every man, woman, child, and monster on the planet knew of the Goddess of Mankind. However, the sincere curiosity in the teenager's voice indicated that not only had he never heard her name before today, but was wondering if Alice knew who she was.

So, Alice decided to fish for information. "It does sound familiar. Why?"

"Well, shortly after falling asleep last night some so-called goddess calling herself by that name invaded my dreams and tried to give me a 'Holy Mission,'" he stated, using his fingers for air-quotes.

The monster girl raised an eyebrow. "Oh? And what 'Holy Mission' did this self-proclaimed goddess give you?" Though she spoke nonchalantly, on the inside Alice was slightly worried. If that troublesome woman convinced him to kill her, she may be well and truly screwed.

"Hell if I know," Kevin shrugged as he slid his arms through the straps of his backpack. "The moment she started talking to me I told her to shut up. Then, after she continued bothering me for a few more minutes, I bit her arm and threated to stab her. She left shortly after."

Alice almost choked on the food in her mouth with the laughter bubbling up from her chest. It would be impossible not to at least chuckle at the thought of the racist goddess not only being rejected, but also attacked by the one who rejected her.

After swallowing her food, she decided to ask. "What was she doing to receive such a violent reaction from you?"

"Interrupting my sleep," he simply replied.

"…what?"

"In the dream, I was lying on an endless field of fluffy, comfortable clouds. I decided to get some much needed rest there, and this bitch comes out of nowhere trying to tell me what to do. Who wouldn't tell her to piss off?"

'Almost every one of her followers, for one,' Alice thought. One thing in that story did stand out, though. "So…you were trying to fall asleep in a dream? Wouldn't that be pointless"

"Funnily enough, that's what she asked as well shortly before I bit her."

Shortly after, the duo finished dousing the fire and made their way back to the dirt road. They had a possibly long day of walking/slithering ahead of them, after all.

Twenty minutes later, as they were walking through another patch of woods, Kevin spoke up again. "Soooooo…who is Ilias?"

Recalling how genuine he was the first time he mentioned her, Alice saw no point in not answering him. "Ilias is the creator of Humanity. She hates all monsters and teaches her followers to fear us, hate us, or both. In the pursuit of exterminating all monsters in the world, she descends about once a year around this time to baptize heroes so they can kill monsters without worrying about getting raped."

"Huh," Kevin hummed, a donning a thoughtful look. "I wonder why she came to me, then. I mean, I'm not exactly hiding the ears and tail."

"Maybe it's because of how you treated the slug girl yesterday," the lamia suggested. "You did look like you were barely holding yourself back from brutally murdering her, after all."

The teenager didn't miss her tone of accusation. "Well, excuuuuuuuse me for having psychological trauma that makes me violently resist physical intimacy," he retorted sarcastically. "Back on topic, though, what does the baptizing do to make heroes resistant to monsters?"

"From what I've heard, the smell is enough to drive most monsters away. Plus, I've heard that the semen of a hero tastes like angel liver."

That got Kevin to scratch his chin in thought. "Hmm…I wonder what an angel's liver even tastes like. Maybe with the right ingredients it could become a delicacy."

"That aside," Alice said, breaking him from the disturbing train of thought. "You in particular have a very delicious scent. It's surprising that you never met a single monster before me."

Kevin shrugged. "Let's just say I didn't grow up in a place with monsters around, and leave it at that."

"You're really good at dodging questions, you know?" the monster girl pointed out, frowning at yet another failed attempt at getting him to spill his secrets.

"Well, my mother always had a thing about not lying, so I learned diversion and misdirection at a young age," he replied.

After not hearing another quip in return for a solid minute, the Eevee turned to see that Alice had disappeared once again. That could only mean one thing.

"There's a monster girl nearby, isn't there?" he groaned. "Fuuuuuuuuck. I was already sexually harassed twice on my first day here, do I really need to have it again first thing in the morning?"

A minute later, he came upon one of the most obvious traps in existence. In the middle of the dirt path grew what looked like a large weed. It consisted of two leaves, each about the size of one of Kevin's arms, connected to a single stalk that stuck out of the ground.

"If that isn't a monster, I'll eat my shoes," he deadpanned. "Nothing to do but go around it."

Thus, he walked around the plant. Something told him that whoever this monster was knew that some moron would try to yank her out of the ground in order to clear the path, and probably had multiple times before. Otherwise, she likely wouldn't have buried herself in the middle of what is likely a regularly traveled road.

Unfortunately for him, he hadn't made it ten feet before the sound of crumbling dirt sounded out from behind him. It was shortly followed by a female voice calling out to him. "Really?"

Against his better judgement, he looked over his shoulder to see the monster girl attached to the plant. She was completely naked, but that didn't matter much as her crotch was still belowground and her breasts had no nipples. Her dark brown hair was long, splayed in all directions, and had the weed he'd seen earlier sticking out of the top.

He ignored her state of undress and raised an eyebrow. "What?"

The monster girl crossed her arms under her breasts and pouted at him. "You see a weed in the middle of the road and you decide to ignore it?"

Kevin sighed. "Look, if someone else is stupid enough to fall for that obvious trap, that's fine. I, on the other hand, do not feel like being sexually assaulted today. So, of course I ignored it. I'm not an idiot."

Just like that, the girl felt as if three metaphorical arrows had pierced her heart. "Stupid? Obvious? Idiot?" she whispered to herself, her self esteem plummeting. "But…I've caught so many travelers with this technique…"

Turning to fully face her, the Eevee's gaze remained unimpressed. "And how many is 'so many?'"

"[Incoherent Mumbling]"

"What was that?"

"…six."

"How many of those were repeat catches?"

The girl sank a little deeper into her hole in depression. "…four."

"So, what you are telling me," Kevin continued with no care for the plant monster's feelings. "Is that two men have fallen for this trap, and then later came back to act as if they fell for it again just to have sex with you again. Am I getting that right?"

At this point, only the lowered head of the monster was sticking out of the ground, and if this were an anime a dark storm cloud would be hanging over her head. "...….yeah."

"…"

"…"

"At this point, kicking your ass would just feel hollow. I'm gonna go. Goodbye."

The Mandragora didn't bother to attempt to stop him. Instead, she completely buried herself, not even allowing her leaves to breach the surface. She was just too depressed to even consider capturing and raping a man for the rest of the day.

Further down the road, Kevin was enjoying the silence once more, before it was broken by his traveling companion reappearing beside him.

"I honestly don't know whether I should be impressed or disappointed," she stated in her usual neutral tone. "On one hand, you got out of that encounter without having to lift a finger, or being subjected to the paralyzing scream of a Mandragora. On the other, you accomplished this by exploiting her insecurities and bullying her until she hid from you."

"Just settle for both," Kevin suggested. "It's what my parents always did, especially after I got a moose stuck on the roof."

"…that was such a loaded statement that I have no idea where to begin picking it apart."

***

{Midday}

It was around noon when they finally spotted a large city. Unlike the village, it was large, loud, and filled with people going about their business. Even from a distance the foot traffic was busy enough to be visible. The large sign facing the dirt path marked the town as "Iliasburg."

"Hm…" Kevin hummed as he stared at the sign. "Iliasburg…must be named after that goddess." He turned to look at Alice. "Well, we finally have a name for our location. This familiar to you."

Contrary to his expectations, the lamia somehow held up an ancient-looking book and started flipping through it. Seriously, the thing looked at least a few hundred years old, and probably should've been in a museum.

Stopping on a page, she smiled. "Yes. According to this, Iliasburg is the capital of Illias Continent. It's also home to the Sutherland Inn and its famous Ama-Ama Dango."

"Alright, first of all: I have no idea what an Ama Ama-Dango is," he began. "Second: where the hell did you get that book?"

Alice grinned proudly. "This is the Traveling Guild's World Traveler Guide. It contains everything about the human world. Geography, environment, food…it has it all!" she declared, raising the book theatrically.

"That does sound pretty useful," Kevin admitted, before looking back at her face. "but that doesn't answer my question."

Now the lamia was confused. "What do you mean?"

"I didn't ask you what the book was. I asked where you pulled it from. As far as I'm aware, all you have are the clothes on your back. So, unless you somehow pulled it out of your ass, I can't fathom where you materialized it from."

She glared at him at that insinuation. "If you must know, I have a multidimensional pocket where I keep all of my important possessions. It ensures that they cannot be stolen, unlike that bag of yours."

Now Kevin was interested. "So, you can access this pocket from anywhere and pull things out of thin air?"

"No. The spell needs a physical space with enough surface area to fit objects in and out."

"Do I want to know where yours is?"

Instead of answering verbally, Alice proceeded to bring the book closer to her body and…slip it into her cleavage? Yes, that was exactly what was happening. This woman was literally putting an entire hardback book into the space between her boobs. It didn't stop until it completely disappeared.

"…It's between your breasts?"

"Yes."

'…fucking ecchi anime logic,' he thought to himself. Trying to draw his mind away from the sheer absurdity of what he just witnessed, he decided to ask an important question. "Do you have any money stashed away in there."

Alice quirked an eyebrow at that. "I might. Why?"

"Well, I don't know about you, but I'm completely broke," he blandly stated, turning his various pockets inside out to prove his point. "In fact, I don't even know what currency people around here use."

'Another thing that makes no sense about him,' Alice mentally mused. "It's gold coins, and yes I have a fair amount on me."

"Then it will be on you to buy your own food while we're here. I still have enough for another day if I stretch it out, so hopefully someone there will have a job or two they'd be willing to pay me for," the Eevee concluded.

His travel companion wanted to protest, but realized that he had a point. Unless she somehow convinced him to give her semen, they'd both be going hungry by tomorrow with their current provisions. It's not like buying food would put a dent into her fortune, anyway, so she silently nodded in agreement to his logic.

"Good," Kevin said with a satisfied hum. "That leads me to the final order of business: do you have a way to disguise yourself as a human?"

The indignation the lamia felt at the suggestion showed on her face. "Taking the form of a human is unpleasant…Why should I have to pretend to be a human?" she complained.

"Well, considering how the people in the last village reacted to the two of us together, they would probably all have a collective heart attack seeing a monster as big as you coming. Either that, or they'd call the guards on us and try to drive us away," the teenager pointed out.

"I can't sense a single presence in that town capable of stopping either of us," she argued back. "It would take one, maybe two minutes for you to subdue all of them."

"Which would lead to an evacuation of all of the civilians, likely including the ones running the Suther-whatever Inn. Without them, there will be no Dango for you."

"Crap…I guess that's true." Once again, the monster girl lost an argument to the annoying little boy's logic. It was true that she really wanted that Ama-ama Dango, and laying siege to the city would drive away the ones who could cook it for her. Sighing in defeat, she conceded to his request to disguise herself. "Fine…how does this look?"

Unlike Kevin's flashy transformations, Alice's was like a switch suddenly being flipped. One moment, there was a purple skinned lamia with a long red tail; the next, a pale skinned woman with black knee-high boots took her place. She still had the same tattoos, vertical eye design in her hair, and reptilian yellow eyes, but nobody would be able to mistake her for anything other than human.

"Perfect," Kevin nodded, turning to continue their approach of the town.

"Hold up," the disguised lamia stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. "What about you?"

"Iiiiiiiiiii don't understand the question."

"Aren't you going to hide your monster parts," she asked, gesturing to his ears.

The Eevee shook his head. "Not really. I see no point in it."

"Oh? Why's that."

"Well, from your admission, there had never been a male monster in the history of the world, right? So, there is literally no reason for anyone here to assume that my ears and tail are real. They'll most likely assume that I'm cosplaying or something," he concluded as he once again walked toward the town.

Alice was quiet for a moment, before nodding her head. "That does make a surprising amount of sense," she admitted, walking beside him again. "I do have one question, though."

"Shoot."

"What is 'cosplaying?'"

"…oh boy," he sighed in exasperation.

***

{One Hour Later}

After a lengthy explanation of what cosplay was and why humans would desire to dress up like fictional characters, the odd duo deemed it necessary to split up. Iliasburg was surprisingly huge and navigated like a maze, making their attempts to find the Inn nearly impossible. Their combined antisocial behavior eliminated the idea of asking the locals for directions, so they determined that they could over more area if they split up.

Now, Kevin was strolling through the town on his own. It may not have been as big or crowded as some of the big cities he'd visited in his previous life, but it was close enough to remind him of home. Memories of the sounds of cars passing by as he would walk along the sidewalks surfaced in his mind, coupled with the scent of pollution in the air and the overall ambiance of a concrete jungle. It wasn't a particularly good place to live, but he still called it home.

As if to complete the immersion in the past, he had pulled something out of his bag he didn't think he would ever eat again, but the Being probably included as a final goodbye to his old life: a Hershey's chocolate bar. It was a simple one, not king sized or filled with almonds; just delicious milk chocolate. The taste alone was enough to bring a rare genuine smile to his face.

He was so deep in his nostalgic trance that he didn't notice the sudden shift in atmosphere of the street around him. Something was causing all of the civilians to run away in fear, while the local heroes and town guards rushed toward the city's central plaza. He was blind and deaf to it all, though, intent on enjoying one of the last connections he had to his old world.

By the time he idly wandered in the central plaza, the battle was coming close to a brutal conclusion. Many men, some with more armor than other and all carrying some form of broken weapon, lay in various states of unconsciousness on the ground. The lucky ones only had a few cuts and burns, while those less fortunate sustained multiple broken bones and had passed out from the pain. Only three soldiers remained on their feet, but it was obvious that they were barely hanging on.

In the center of it all stood a single woman. She was humanoid in form, with two legs and two arms, and had chin-length red hair. That's about where the human resemblance ended, though. Her legs, tail, and from her fingers to her elbows were covered in light green scales that reflected the midday sun. The rest of her skin was a pale yellow, her eyes a slitted gold, and her ears were pointed with what looked like reptilian frills coming down from them. She wore a set of black and gold armor that covered her shoulders, torso, and crotch, but really nothing else, and a purple cape.

"How boring," Granberia said, her tone filled with contempt. "Is there not a single strong person in this entire city?"

"D…Damnit…"

"She's so…so strong!"

"Guh…"

The voices of the only guards standing didn't foster any hope from the few civilians brave enough to watch from their windows, to say the least.

"Only three of you left…Are you just going to watch while I take control of this city?" the monster girl asked. "Or is one of you going to be a Hero and try to face me!?"

None of the three spoke up.

"Well…hurry up and decide!"

As if spurred on by her challenge, two of them took a step forward and readied their swords. The third, however, simply cowered in place, afraid to even move.

"That's the spirit," the redheaded dragonkin smirked, before unsheathing a sword that dwarfed theirs " But even if you have the spirit, it's meaningless!" Her blade was suddenly engulfed in flames, radiating heat that her two challengers could even feel at a distance.

Not backing down from the heat, one of the soldiers took a step forward and sung his sword at the monster girl. Unexpectedly, his opponent disappeared into thin air. There was a beat of silence that hung in the air, before the man suddenly collapsed to the pavement, unconscious. The armored woman stood behind him, crossing her arms and staring down at his body in disappointment.

"Damn you!" his friend shouted in rage, attempting to swing at the monster's unprotected back.

Granberia looked over her shoulder. "Slow…" This time, she swung her sword for all to see, the heat smashing into the soldier without the blade even having to. He ended up collapsing from the amount of pain the heat itself brought, despite not being singed in the slightest.

Her eyes then settled on the last man standing. "Well then…what are you going to do?"

Showing more intelligence than his comrades, the soldier dropped his weapon and immediately fled.

"That's a wise choice," the redhead nodded, not bothering to give chase. "But in the future, you can't call yourself a Soldier, or a Hero."

Now, she was the only one left among a field of bodies. The only upside to this one-sided battle was that she hadn't killed any of the human men, only incapacitated them. It was a small comfort to the citizens who were certain that by the end of the day, their city would be infested with monsters.

"Is that it!?" the armored monster shouted. "Having your city taken over by a monster…there's no complaints!?" There seemed to be none, the civilians remaining barricaded in their homes. "Well then, I've taken control of this city. Next, I'll-"

Unexpectedly, she was interrupted by a set of footsteps echoing through the plaza. She turned around, expecting to see some foolhardy man or woman coming forward to give one last feeble attempt at resistance, Instead, she was met with what looked like a child.

His clothes were odd, but they weren't what drew the dragonkin's attention. No, it was the fluffy brown ears and tail the really intrigued her. Being one of the most powerful monsters in the world, it wasn't hard for her to stretch her senses out and see that they were real, and not some accessories. He felt like a monster, but not one that she had ever encountered before.

Another thing that made her stop short was the fact that he didn't appear to even register her existence. Instead, he walked in a daze, his eyes hazy a far-away. In his hands was a piece of what smelled like chocolate from a distance, but it was simultaneously sweeter than any chocolate the swordswoman had ever encountered.

"Hey!" she called out in an attempt to draw his attention. He didn't stop moving, though, seemingly ignoring her existence. "Hey kid!" Still nothing.

She walked over to him and stood in his way. "I'm talking to you, kid," she stated intimidatingly. Contrary to her expectations, he merely subconsciously swerved around her, still not acknowledging her presence.

Granberia was starting to get angry. She reached out to grab his shoulder, stopping him. "Don't you know it's disrespectful to ignore a warrior so blatantly?" she growled. She had a status to uphold, damnit! Even random monsters in the wild showed her more respect and fear than she was receiving from this child.

Despite being immobile, Kevin still wasn't snapped out of his daze. He was trapped in a daydream consisting of some of his best memories, all perpetuated by the taste of milk chocolate on his tongue. His subconscious mind couldn't care less about the deadly super-predator holding him still at that very moment.

At this point, Granberia's irritation had grown into anger, leading her to make a move that she would end up regretting for years to come: she raised one hand, swiped it downward, and knocked the chocolate bar from the boy's hands.

Time seemed to freeze as Kevin's peaceful trance was shattered. His eyes were drawn to his now-empty hands, before they darted around in frantic search of the delicious treat.

Unfortunately for him, his prayers for it to be unharmed went unanswered as his gaze finally fell on its resting place. Not only was it on the ground and covered and dirt from skipping across the pavement a few times, but it also landed in a small puddle of blood leaking from one of the fallen soldiers, tainting it even further.

Before he could wonder what happened, a female voice came from in front of him. "Can you hear me now, boy!?"

Slowly, almost ominously, he turned his head to look at the dragonkin swordswoman. From the fact that she was the only person standing around him, he was able to reach the conclusion that it was her that knocked it out of his grip. A cold anger gripped him deep within his heart.

"That was my chocolate," he stated, his voice almost too calm.

Granberia quirked an eyebrow at the child. "And? Shouldn't you be more worried about the danger you are in right now?" She honestly couldn't fathom why he seemed to fixated on it.

It was only when his eyes met hers that she realized just how badly she had fucked up. The cold hatred she saw within them wasn't anything she hadn't experienced before, but it was the presence they held that made a shiver run down her spine. It was as if she was facing her old teacher again, only without the love and care.

"I don't think you heard me correctly," the child stated, his tone cold enough to freeze fire itself.

"That."

He adjusted his stance.

"Was."

His right arm pulled back.

"My."

A fist buried itself in Graberia's chest, shattering her armor in an instant and breaking one of her ribs.

"Chocolate."

Despite the force behind the strike, the dragonkin's training ensured that she wasn't launched like most enemies would be. Instead, she was only sent back a couple of steps, out of the short range of the clearly-powerful child.

Now, one might wonder how Kevin was capable of such a strong attack. The answer is single Normal Type move that he imbued into his punch. It was one that, if seen in the current context by any pokemon trainer, would cause a lot of dropped jaws and wide eyes.

[Retaliate – Normal Type Move]

[Description: The user gets revenge for a fallen ally. If an ally has fallen within the past ten minutes, this attack's damage is doubled.]

Kevin had attacked with the doubled damage associated with the Move. Why would this be controversial, you ask? Why, because he wasn't using the multitude of fallen soldiers around him as fuel for the move. No, he was using the 'death' of his chocolate bar.

"I am going to kill you now," he stated, cold fury laced into his voice. "Feel free to beg for mercy."

With that, he triggered a transformation.