Slugs, Flames, and Annoying Goddesses

A/N:

"Pizza" = Speech

'Pizza' = Thought

[Pizza] = System

***

It was around four hours later, when the village had long since disappeared behind the hills and the sun was setting starting to set, that the System spoke up again. Neither Kevin nor Alice had said a word since he issued the odd threat back in the village, both of them content to travel in silence.

[Notice: Host has failed to notice the Notice noted in the Moves menu for over four hours. This failure has been noticed by the Eeveelution System, prompting it to Notify the host of the Notice he has failed to notice]

'…what the fuck?'

Considering the sheer ridiculousness of the message presented by the System, one could excuse Kevin for his inner profanity. He found himself wondering for a brief second what kind of smartass would program such a message into the system, before remembering the sadistic smile the Being gave him prior to sending him to this world.

[Notice: System has noticed that it has been a minute since the previous Notice and the Host has not seemed to notice it. The System implores the host to take note-]

'Alright! I heard you the first time,' he mentally shouted, interrupting the System. 'Menu. Moves.'

Just like before, the semi-transparent window popped up in front of him and showed him a list of all of the moves available to his Eevee form. The only difference this time was that another rectangle had superimposed itself in front of the list, with the aforementioned notice on it.

[Notice: Upon using a form for the first time, the Host will be able to control the corresponding element associated with the evolution with 25% of the proficiency of a full transformation in his Eevee form. This control includes a single elemental Move being added to the Moves list of the Eevee form.]

Kevin stared at the words with slight anticipation. If the System was telling the truth, and he knew it had no reason not to, this would greatly improve his survivability. It even reminded him of his favorite game in the Pokemon series so far, Let's Go Eevee, in which a special Move Tutor would appear in certain Pokecenters to teach his companion Eevee any of 8 different Moves related to its possible evolved forms.

'In fact…'he thought, dismissing the pop-up and searching through the list of Moves under his Eevee form. Luckily, they were in alphabetical order, so it was pretty easy to find the Move he was looking for and select it.

[Sappy Seed – Grass Type Move]

[Description: The user grows a gigantic stalk that scatters seeds to attack the target. The seeds drain the targets vitality and heal the user every 10 seconds]

'Nice. I wonder if I have- there it is!' he internally exclaimed, finding another nostalgic move in the same list.

[Veevee Volley – Normal Type Move]

[Description: the user launches up to ten nearby items at a target. This move always hits]

He knew that the Moves had been altered by his non-stat-related system, especially Veevee Volley considering its power was supposed to increase with friendship. The teenager couldn't imagine how useless that function would be if it had been included.

[Basing the power boost on how many friends the Host makes was considered upon adjusting the move to suit the Eeveelution System]

'Oh? Why wasn't that applied?'

[The Host was determined to be unlikely to make enough friends to make much of a difference]

Most people would be at the very least slightly offended by this statement, but Kevin had enough self-awareness to not argue. Even he had to admit that his special combination of apathy and sarcasm didn't leave a good impression on most civilized people. Not that he really cared, mind you.

As this was going on, Alice was subtly watching him out of the corner of her eye. She hadn't missed the sudden straightening in his posture, nor the miniscule changes in his disinterested expression. Most people would miss these subtle cues, but living in her mentor's home for a few years caused her to quickly develop her ability to read people, lest she fall victim to the pranks of the other residents.

This didn't help her understand what the cause of his shift in attitude was. She couldn't sense any monsters in the immediate area, and she doubted that he could either. Sure, there was one approaching from about a quarter-mile down the road, but that wouldn't prompt the slight upward twitch at the corners of the boy's lips.

Just like last time, she made herself scarce when the presence she sensed came into view, leaving the oblivious teenager to deal with the approaching danger.

Minutes later, said teenager was brought out of his scrolling through the Move list by a female voice he definitely knew didn't belong to Alice.

"…A traveler. You haven't taken your vows, so you look very tasty boy…"

Upon dismissing the window, Kevin was met with the sight of what at first looked like a noblewoman wearing a light brown dress and hat. Looking closer, though, he was able to see that she had no legs at all, and the cloth of her dress was covering her large slug-like lower body.]

[Slug Girl]

[Type: Bug]

"Uh, I don't know what vows you're talking about, lady." He decided that it would be best for him to remain neutral until she proved violent. Maybe he'd get lucky and she'd leave him alone.

A light giggle escaped her lips as she covered her mouth with a gloved hand. "Silly boy, I mean you haven't been baptized. Your semen must taste delicious."

Kevin loudly groaned in exasperation. "Look, lady. I already had to deal with one wannabe rapist today. If I have to deal with another – not gonna lie – I will be more than little annoyed."

"It's cute that you think you can resist," she smiled as she raised the front of her dress, revealing the pink mass of her slug half. "Now, boy, you will become a meal for me. Rejoice, for I have chosen you for a slimy, mucus sensation that will end in your ejaculation."

The Eevee face-palmed, his tail drooping from sheer lack of enthusiasm. "Is this how it's going to be with all of you creatures? Just ignoring my warnings until I'm forced to beat you half to death?"

"Well-"

"It was a rhetorical question," he interrupted her reply, sighing. "Look, I was just in a good mood, so I'll give you one last chance to back down. If you don't, I will not hesitate to fuck you up."

He didn't need the system to tell him that she was obviously a Bug Type, against which only one of his evolutions was super effective. The only problem was that he had an idea of what part of his personality would be amplified, and didn't think the slug girl would survive the encounter.

Contrary to any logical decision she could've made, the slug girl came even closer with a lewd expression. "Oh, you'll fuck me? I like the sound of that."

Kevin shook his head in disappointment. "Just remember, you asked for this."

Funnily enough, it was while he was shaking his head that the slug girl noticed the foxlike ears on his head and the tail behind him, marking him as some form of male monster. She was starting to wonder if she made a mistake, when he mentally triggered his transformation and she was blinded by a flash of light.

When the stars had finally cleared from her eyes, her gaze was drawn back to where the short boy had just been a moment ago. What stood in his place was a taller teenager in similar clothing, only instead of the base colors of his jacket, shirt, and cargo pants being brown, they were red. Additionally, his shoes were replaced by black, steel-toed boots, his shaggy hair shortened to just above his ears and turned a pale blond, and his irises were just as black as his pupils. All of this was topped off with the angry frown displayed on his mature face.

Once again, Alice was practically blown away by the amount of elemental energy that just exploded off of Kevin. The fact that not only was it just as powerful as it was earlier that day, but also a completely different transformation with a different elemental signature shocked her even further. It gave rise to a question deep in her mind.

'If he has two of these transformations, who's to say there aren't even more?"

Thinking that he was temporarily immobile after such a dramatic transformation, the slug girl took this as an opportunity to strike. She launched herself at her perceived prey with agility and speed that betrayed her large frame, hoping to slather him in her aphrodisiac-laced mucus.

Unfortunately for her, said "prey" was not only faster, but also stronger than her, as displayed by how he caught her by her throat and lifted her off the ground by it. If she wasn't a monster girl, the weight of her lower body would've caused her neck to snap, but as it was, she was just incredibly uncomfortable.

And choking. Can't forget choking.

As was stated before, Kevin somewhat expected the anger that now burned throughout his entire body, but to say he was prepared for it would be completely incorrect. In fact, he could only recall getting this mad once in his previous life when he discovered that his older brother had put hot sauce in his ice cream. To that day, Jason still had a scar on his arm where Kevin had stabbed him with a steak knife. Needless to say, the Flareon was very bad at anger management.

"I'm going to hurt you now," he stated with barely-contained fury.

With that ominous message delivered, the Flareon threw the monster girl to the ground. Before she could recover, he wound back his leg and proceeded to deliver a harsh kick to her lower half, sending her skipping across the ground for a few meters. It wasn't enough to quell the raging inferno inside of him, the source of which was the indignation of this disgusting creature trying to violate him.

He slowly walked over to the trembling monster girl, who was now realizing why the boy was more exasperated by her presence than afraid of her. He was obviously strong enough to not be caught by her sticky body, making her primary combat advantage useless. She had poked the sleeping dragon by making the first move, and judging from licks of fire that slipped from between his lips with each angry breath, the comparison wasn't too far off.

Not giving her a chance to beg for forgiveness, he opened his mouth wide and released a torrent of flames. He had enough presence of mind to tone down the power of the Flamethrower, as even in his enraged state he didn't want to kill her; just make her suffer.

[Flamethrower - Fire Type Move]

[Description: The target is scorched with an intense blast of fire. This may also leave the target with a burn.]

It would be safe to say he was succeeding, too, considering how all of the slug girl's clothes caught fire. The thin layer of mucus she kept on the surface of her skin prevented her from taking too much damage from it, but that was a small comfort when the amount of pain she was experiencing was overriding most of her conscious thoughts. Jumping up, the monster girl proceeded to scream and flee as fast as the muscles in her lower half would allow.

Later, when she finally reached a pond filled with fresh water and was able to put herself out, she would swear to herself to never underestimate a male again. She would also pray to never see the red demon again, though he would inevitably star in all of her nightmares for the foreseeable future.

Back to the present, Kevin glared at the retreating form of the burning monster girl. His instincts were telling him to follow after her and continue to teach her a lesson, but her cries and the smell of singed hair told him that the physical and mental scarring she would receive from this encounter were enough quell them, if only slightly.

"Wow," Alice sarcastically said, reappearing behind him. "Good job bullying and possibly traumatizing such a weak monster girl. I bet you feel so proud of yourself."

Kevin turned his glare to her, his temper spiking at the accusation. "Fuck you!" he growled. "I gave that bitch a chance to walk away without third-degree burns! But noooooooo, she laughed in my face at my warning and decided it was a great idea to throw herself at me! She's lucky I didn't reduce her to a pile of ash for that bullshit!

"And don't even get me started on you!" He jabbed a finger at her. "You disappeared the moment you saw her. If you want to criticize how I fight, try not being a fucking pussy and running at the first sight of trouble. Otherwise, shut the fuck up and suck it up, buttercup!"

Alice frowned. Kevin hadn't been this confrontational the entire time they were traveling so far, even when the slime girl had attacked him. Back in that fight, he seemed a lot calmer than his normal indifference. It was safe for her to assume this was a side effect of the transformations themselves, the elemental energies boosting certain personality traits.

Nevertheless, she didn't back down from the aggressive boy. She merely crossed her arms under her large breasts and raised an eyebrow at him. "What makes you think I'd run from anything? I just don't want to face any other monsters due to my current situation."

"If you're not gonna help, then keep your fucking criticisms to yourself," he shot back, before stomping off down the path.

As he stormed away, he tried to calm himself down. The immediate threat was gone, and all that was left was the incredibly annoying snake girl he could hear slithering behind him. Where did she get off criticizing how he dealt with the slug girl, anyway? It's not like she had contributed in any way, shape, or form, so what ground did she have to stand on?

It took about ten minutes for his inner flame to be reduced from a raging inferno to a small ember, though that didn't mean he was calm. It appeared that the emotion this form defaulted to outside of battle was 'mildly irritated,' and wouldn't go any further down. Speaking of the form, his mind was now clear enough to check his current Character menu.

[Name: Kevin]

[Age: 17]

[Form: Flareon]

[Type: Fire]

[Ability: Flash Fire/Guts]

[Weapon: None]

Those were some good abilities, if Kevin were to say so himself. Flash Fire increased one's attacking power when they were hit with Fire-Type Moves. Guts did the same, except it was triggered by status effects such as poison, paralysis, and burns. As a result, Kevin's Flareon was completely fireproof and would get physically stronger when fighting other fire types or creatures that relied on status effects.

Having cooled off enough to finally think straight, he decided to switch back to his Eevee form again. The shift from aggravation to apathy was only slightly less jarring than last time he reverted to his base form. He still felt no guilt for setting that slug girl on fire, but now he no longer had the subconscious urge to hunt her down and finish the job.

"You done being an asshole?" Alice piped up, taking his transformation as a sign that it was okay to get closer to him now.

"I don't know," he deadpanned to response. "Are you done whining about how I handled that fight?"

She huffed. "I'll let the fact that you set her on fire slide, since she did attack you first. However, your technique was terrible."

Kevin actually stopped walking at that comment. "My what?"

"I assumed that you didn't have any formal training, but your battle stance throughout the whole fight was incredibly sloppy," the lamia continued, eyeing him with an air of superiority. "What? Do you not know what a 'battle stance' even is?"

"I know what a battle stance is," he stated. "What I'm confused about is why you think one was even necessary for that fight? I mean, it literally had only four parts to it: I grabbed her throat, threw her down, kicked her, and set her on fire. There wasn't any need for fancy footwork or complicated combat techniques"

Alice merely shook her head in disappointment, donning a pitying expression. "You truly believe that, don't you?"

"Yes, and no amount criticism from your end is going to change that," he replied with conviction. "If you think you could do so much better, than you can fight the next one."

"I already told you that I'm not doing that."

"Then you don't have a leg to stand on. Not that you had any in the first place," he concluded, gesturing to her long tail.

***

{One Hour Later}

The sun had finally disappeared completely from the sky, with the moon taking its place. As much as Kevin wanted to continue walking, multiple things stopped him, the first of which being the crescent moon not providing any light to travel by. Second, and more importantly, was his hunger, as he hadn't eaten even once since he was shoved into this body.

So, he decided to setup camp in a nearby gathering of trees.

Well, I say 'camp,' but the fact that he didn't even have tent to sleep in made it little more than a pit of fire he'd dug and filled with branches, and a large log he'd dragged over to sit on.

"What kind of idiot sets out on a journey without camping equipment?" Alice questioned condescendingly.

"The same kind that isn't going to share food with you if you keep acting like a bitch," he fired back, taking a cheese and bologna sandwich out of his bag, along with a canteen of water.

That momentarily shut her up. It was no secret between them that while he didn't have any camping gear, the lamia had nothing but the clothes on her back. She could've easily stolen some of the food from his bag, but his threat from earlier that day was still prominent in her mind, and the idea of having an unknown with multiple powers rivaling that of the Four Sprits trying to murder her over a simple meal was not appealing.

Taking in her silence, he nodded. "That's what I thought. Now, I have about nine meals, including this one, in here, so that should last us until the end of tomorrow. Hopefully we'll find a city or village that's willing to sell us food."

They both ate quietly for the next few minutes, the only sounds those of the fire crackling and their chewing. Alice finished her meal rather quickly and was more than a little disappointed with the lack of quantity. Having such a large snake body made her require more food than the average human, after all.

The brown-haired boy's suggestion of going hunting was also a no-go, as she had no idea if she could catch and kill a wild animal without completely obliterating it, or morphing her lower body to swallow it whole.

In order to take her mind off the gnawing hunger, she decided to bring back their previous discussion. "So, about that fighting technique…"

"For fuck's sake, woman," Kevin groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I thought we settled this."

"I don't recall it being settled," she quipped, a smug grin settling on her features. "I just remember you insisting that I fight for you and insulting my snake half."

He raised an eyebrow. "Do you have a point?"

"My point is that the moment you meet a monster strong enough to fight back against you, you're fucked," she claimed. "Both figuratively, and very literally."

"Iiiiiiiii still don't see how that is any of your business," Kevin pointed out, taking another bite of his sandwich.

"It isn't," the monster girl admitted. "But that doesn't mean it doesn't irritate me. My teachers beat many techniques for both armed and unarmed combat into my head for years on end, so watching you fight like an untrained barbarian is triggering a lot of unwanted memories."

"That…sounds like a 'you' problem."

Alice was close to pulling her hair out. The whole purpose of this line of criticism was to subtly trick him into asking her for training, but he refused to follow her cues. It was as if he knew she was trying to make him owe her for the training, and thus have something to hold over his head so he would reveal his secrets to her.

In reality, he wasn't aware of any of her plans. The teen honestly thought that she was just being annoying for the sake of aggravating him, so responded in the way he knew annoyed those types of people the most: with neutral sarcasm. From her strained expression, he'd say that he was succeeding.

"Fine, if you're going to be that way," Alice grumbles in defeat.

"By the way," Kevin said, putting the disposable paper and plastic back in the paper bag, then in his backpack. "Where are you going to sleep? I have an idea for myself, but I doubt you have an extra-extra-extra-extra-large sleeping bag hidden somewhere on you."

"I wouldn't use one, even if they did exist in my size," the lamia scoffed. "They're far too restrictive. I be fine with wrapping myself around one of these trees. The real question is, where are YOU going to sleep?"

The Eevee shrugged. "I've got all of the comfort I'm gonna need right here," he said, holding the backpack up.

Alice was momentarily at a loss for words. When she realized that he was serious, she looked at him as if he was an idiot. "Really? I know that you're a small boy-"

"Not where it counts."

"-and that your bag has a lot of free space, but are you really expecting to fit in there?"

Kevin stood up, set the backpack on the ground with the main compartment wide open, and stretched his arms and legs out. "Watch and learn, amateur."

His travel companion was about to snark back at him again, but was interrupted by a blinding flash of light that signaled another of his transformations. Her first thought was to question how shapeshifting into a taller version of himself would help him squeeze into the bag. This thought was brought to a dead halt at what was revealed after the light faded.

Instead of a humanoid monster boy, there was now small creature that could fit comfortably in his previous form's arms. It looked like a cross between a fox and a dog, with his light brown fur and a thick ring of cream colored fluff around his neck. The only way she could tell that it was still the same boy as before was that he maintained the same smug expression.

"Eevoi eev evee," he stated smugly-

-only to realize what just came out of his mouth.

'System.'

[Yes, Host]

'Please explain.'

[While the Host's Moves and Abilities are based off of the video game versions of Eevee and its evolutions, the biology is more rooted in the anime counterparts. As a side effect of this, the Host can only say variations of his current Eeveelution's name whenever in a full transformation]

"Eevevee ve eev," he grumbled out loud. It wasn't that big of a deal, or even a downgrade, but the fact that he wouldn't be able to backtalk Alice in this form was slightly disheartening.

Alice, on the other hand, was even more shocked by this transformation than the previous ones. It effectively doubled the amount of forms the boy could take, if she was reading the situation properly, and meant that he could likely avoid the attention of semen-seeking monsters by pretending to be an animal, albeit a strange one.

She continued to stare as the now-small-enough Eevee boy shook his head to clear his thoughts, and proceeded to climb inside the opening in the backpack. It was surprisingly comfortable when he curled up into himself, using his bushy tail as a pillow. Within a minute, he was already asleep.

The lamia kept her eyes on the gently expanding and retracting form of the bag, still dumbfounded by the situation she felt herself in. A single thought remained prominent in her mind, even as she wrapped her long body around a tree and forced herself to doze off.

"What the hell is he?"

***

{Within the sleeping Eevee's dreams}

"Kevin…"

He was surrounded by white clouds.

"Keeeeeviiiin…"

Everywhere he looked, there was nothing but fluffy softness. Even the ground beneath his bare feet was softer than the best pillows he could remember.

"Keeeeev-"

"Can whoever that is shut up?!" he snapped loudly. It didn't matter that the voice was the most melodious sound he'd ever heard. This was his dream, and he wanted silent fluffiness. The only noise he would accept, if it decided to make itself known here, would be the musical stylings of Bowling for Soup, Smash Mouth, or the less known group on YouTube, OK GO.

As you can see, a random woman's beautiful voice was not welcome.

As he closed his eyes to bask in the peaceful atmosphere of the dream, the source of the voice faded into being before him. It was a woman with golden hair that looked as if it was spun from silk, large blue eyes that twinkled in the ambient light, a pure white dress that was only a few shades paler than her flawless skin, and a pair of snowy angel wings.

Normally when she appeared to mortals, this goddess would act as a benevolent and wise woman who cared for them as if they were her own children. Now, however, her expression held a mixture of shock and irritation. She went out of her way to appear before this mortal and give him a noble quest, and the first thing he does is tell her to shut up? She hadn't done anything but say his name!

'Calm yourself, Ilias,' she thought to herself, quelling her indignation and adjusting her expression accordingly. 'He just doesn't know who I am. If I tell him, then he will be in awe and do whatever I tell him to.'

With her goal once again set, the angelic woman spoke again. "Kevin. Dearest Kevin. I am Ilias, the goddess and creator of this world. I have come to-"

"And I'm Carmen Sandiego. Guess where I am?" the boy snarked, interrupting her again.

"Excuse me?" Ilias asked, once again knocked off-kilter.

"You're excused," he nodded, before lying down on the ground and getting comfortable with the clouds. "Go find someone else's dreams to invade."

Her already short temper was getting shorter with every word he spoke. "Sweet child, you misunderstand. I come bearing no ill will. Instead, I'm here to give you a divine mission!" she stated, only just keeping her anger out of her voice.

Kevin rolled over and glared up at her. "Then either do it some other day, or pick another 'chosen one.' It's been a long day and I'm too tired to deal with this shit."

"…you do know that you are already asleep, right? There would be no point in resting."

"Look upon the field in which I grow fucks I have to give, and see that it is baren."

Ilias found herself in almost the exact same position as Alice had been for half the day: wanting to smite the little bastard at her feet for having the audacity to talk back to her. Unlike the snake woman, however, the goddess wasn't limited by the amount of attention she could bring to herself by punishing him.

So, without anything holding her back, she reached down, picked the teenager up by the collar of his jacket, and dragged him up to eye level with her. "Listen here, you little troglodyte. I came here to deliver a holy mission to your ungrateful ass, and so help me, if you back-sass me again I will shove a light spear through your eye."

What she received in return was not a look of fear, but one of challenge. "Do it. No balls." There was a brief moment of silence before he spoke again. "Bitch."

A scream of rage escaped from the goddess as she formed a spear of pure holy energy in her free hand. Before she could stab him with it, he struggled just enough to sink his teeth into her arm, force her to drop both him and the light spear.

"You bit me! You little bastard!" she shouted, holding her now-bleeding arm. What caused her more panic than the pain was that that should have been physically impossible. She was made of holy energy, which had no physical presence, so no living being should be able to touch her without her permission, even in a dream.

What neither she nor Kevin knew, nor would know for the foreseeable future, was that the Eeveelution System had already categorized her as a threat, and classified her under two very specific pokemon Types. The weakness shared by these Types made the subconscious Move used by Kevin four times more effective than if he'd used it on literally any other being in the world.

"Now," the boy growled at her, his teeth dripping with darkness. "Get the fuck out of my dream before I shank you." As if to drive the point home, a blade suddenly materialized in his hand. 'Man, I love dream logic.'

Ilias didn't want to know whether or not the blade the monster boy held could hurt her as much as his teeth. With a fearful glint in her eye, she decided to cut her losses then and there and leave the teenager alone. Not just for that night, either; she determined that it would be hazardous to her health if she were to ever come within a hundred feet of him or his mind ever again.

As she swiftly disappeared, Kevin was finally left alone in the dream, without any annoying so-called "goddesses" to interrupt his relaxation.