14 Chapter 13 : Broken Bonds

[Finn POV]

I got back home 9PM and my old man was standing at the door with a frown on his face, now what the hell is this about?

"Where the hell have you been brat?" now wait just a fucking second, why the hell is HE asking that?! You haven't cared where the fuck I've been for months now but NOW you care?

"None of your business you old geezer, I wasn't out doing drugs if that's what you thought." I walked past him after dropping my cycle in the garage. Just because we had a conversation that didn't involve screaming at each other doesn't mean he can act like a father now.

"I didn't have you when I needed you most, and I sure as hell don't need you now!" I said without turning around, then I kept moving to my room. Tomorrow is the last day I've got to finish my homework, the day after I've gonna be back in school.

But those are all future me problems, I'm gonna go to sleep now. This old man ruined my mood pretty bad, I was pretty happy that the Dunphy's loved my song. But I'm still kinda blanking on anything I remember about my past life. I remember only my life, not anything outside of it.

I left my guitar in its spot in the corner of the room and then crashed onto my bed, I'm too tired to think about stuff now. I'm gonna hit the sack.

[Jamie POV]

As Finn slammed the door and left, I was left standing there. What was I thinking? That some banter was enough to make up for all the neglect? That we could go back to being as close as we used to be? I was delusional...

When he was ruining his life, I was already ruined. I remember looking at him with such hateful eyes, but only I know the one I hated the most was myself. I projected everything I hated about myself onto my poor brat who just lost his mother. I truly don't deserve forgiveness...

At least I know he wasn't out there wasting his life, he's back on track. Given he's carrying his guitar everywhere again I think he wants to become a pop star again. It was always a silly goal but any goal is a good one.

I went back into the house I went to my room that I once shared with my wife. I laid down on the bed and tried to get to sleep. It was quite hard to sleep when your thoughts revolved around how shit of a father and husband you are...

[Finn POV]

I woke up at 9AM, damn I slept for a long time. It didn't feel like I was that tired last night but I guess it just didn't hit me yet.

When I went to the living room I noticed that dad and already gone to work, normally he doesn't have work on the weekends but he can go whenever he wants. After mom died he has pretty much gone every week.

My old man works as a marketing executive, when I asked him why I picked that line of work his answer was "I manipulate people for a living, that's fucking hilarious.". Yeah the man definitely has had a few screws loose for a long time.

Brushing that aside I recalled my encounter with him yesterday, he tried to act like a father for the first time in a long time. It made me both enraged and happy, but if he thinks he can just brush it all aside then he has another thing coming.

I don't mind talking and joking with him , but him parenting me after giving up on me is unacceptable. When my descent into debauchery started my dad was rightfully fuming, yet all he did was insult mom saying she raised a junkie.

I truly think dad hated mom after she killed herself, and by extension hated me.

[Flashback]

I was a few weeks into my descent into madness, the first step was alcohol. I only drank around the school and alleyways and I'd only get home when I was sober.

Slowly it moved to smoking weed and cigarettes, I was trying to destroy myself as much as I could so I was taking anything and everything. Even the other junkies I hung out with were getting concerned.

Each time I got home I knew I looked worse and worse, some where deep inside I wished my dad would beat my ass and straighten me out. Yet all I got were looks of disgust and disappointment.

That only fueled me to keep going down this path, in a way it was like I wanted attention and yet I didn't want to be saved. My mind was in two places, wanting to be saved and wanting to be destroyed.

Then one of my junkie friends gave me a couple of pills, they were hallucinogens. He told me taking them would clear up my mood. That was one thing I learnt, junkies aren't some brain dead bunch. They were empathetic to what I was going through, and supported me the only way they knew.

But from that day onwards I was beyond saving, most days I spent in my own hallucinations with my mom and dad living happily together. I knew I was speaking to myself often even at home.

My dad completely gave up, gone were the curses at me ruining my life. He even stopped insulting mom to try and get to me. He treated me like a stranger, and yet each time he looked at me I could see hate.

The days seem to merge together and I couldn't even tell if life was moving or not. At some point the very action of living became to tiresome to continue. Regrets of ruining my life, and anger over my father letting me ruin my life.

That was the day I was given some morphine by a friend of a friend. I overdosed on them and went to sleep.

[Flashback]

When I woke up life was different, with new memories and new perspectives. I don't know who I was in that other life but it was him who saved me.

Ahhh such depressing thoughts in the morning.

I went and pulled out all the necessary books, a pen and a laptop. And then I got to work finishing up as much work as possible. Surprisingly most concepts gave me a vague sense of nostalgia, like I had done them before. Because of that I was grasping everything faster and finishing up fast.

Tomorrow I'll be back in school.