Chapter 7 Regrets

It was another couple hours, we didn't know what to do inside this giant library anymore. As I've surveyed the area, there was no way I could understand the language these books they were written in. They were all in English making it unreadable for me. We had placed Eliza on her then set it to recline to get her to rest better. She really hasn't seen magic. Her reactions were similar to how when locals of different planets would see our magic for the first time. Though they wouldn't always faint like her. Everything she said got me thinking about what Nex had said about that story of Adam. Did all the humans really go into the new world with us? Did some get left behind to this place called Earth instead. Even if they did, why is it that they haven't seen magic or at least recognized it? She knows the word for it yet she doesn't believe in it. Maybe she just doesn't know that she had the potential to use magic. Everyone in the platform could use magic. They use it for everyday things like cleaning and cooking. I walked over to Nex who was looking for books that might've been in a language we recognized. He was looking confused as ever but at the same time annoyed. I sat by him and he did the same after a while. Both of us seemed to have given up on looking for something to read.

Nex: Is this what it feels like to be stupid? I thought for sure that I wasn't that dumb.

Arc: I wouldn't say that. We just don't know how it's written.

Nex: Even I can't read any of these titles. They sure do look interesting! There was this one book that had a picture of an enormous creature. It was colored white, had weapons all over it like scars, swam in water, and attacking ships. Pretty interesting picture, wonder what was it all about! How about you? How are you feeling?

Arc: I feel a bit happy. For the first time in a while actually. She gives me hope that there's a planet out there where we could live without this kind of life. If what she said was true then we should tell the platform.

Nex: It would definitely be cool that we wouldn't need to attend these classes. Not to risk anyone's life or care if we're going to be safe for another rotation.

Arc: This definitely feels like good news. What do you think of her? Eliza I mean.

Nex: She's quite the beauty to be honest. Or maybe that's just a bias for my own race.

Arc: I guess that counts. I mean what she's like. Sure she's pretty and all but what else?

Nex: I'm not quite sure. She does look kind and it helps that she's human. Although a bit of a chubbier one. She also faints at the sight of magic. Eliza is quite weird huh.

Arc: You're right. She is a bit strange. But she's human. Wonder what the others are like? People like her maybe? If so then let's find this Earth with the team. Let's volunteer ourselves.

Nex: Sounds like a good plan Arc.

We had a couple laughs before we started another cycle of pellets. Looking at my watch, there wasn't any movement from the others. It was starting to worry me on what was going to happen. Able still stood at the edge of the door, never looking like he was going to enter. A loyal bot to his programming despite being different. This place definitely was some kind of armored bunker the more I walk around. There was even a storage room near the corner that had some kind of strange weapons. It didn't alarm me about Eliza because the room had been untouched in what looked like years. She didn't look like the type to fight either especially with how she fainted at the sight of our magic. The place had temperature control too. I always wondered how this place didn't feel the strange heat of the Talos engines. I walked out of the office, only to just see the maze of bookshelves again. There really wasn't anything around here that showed that Eliza had ill intent. Able with some clunking noises walked up to me.

Able: Were you able to ask what you wanted to know about Mother?

Arc: Well she kind of passed out. How long do you think she'll be asleep for?

Able: Another 5 hours! Well that's just on average! She usually stays up without sleep for days.

Arc: Still hard to believe that this was down here all this time. Is there anything else down here?

Able: The gym would be nice to visit. I used to work as a gym coach back then too!

Arc: Did you get fired from that too?

Able: I almost crushed someone! Let's go friend!

Able led the way to this so-called gym. Though I wasn't expecting much because the gym back at the platform was something else. It felt like a feeding frenzy in there each time it was training. Just a massive free for all so they could sort out the capable. I could almost remember the first time I was sent into the "gym" for physical education. It felt like it was just yesterday. On cold days, I could almost feel the scars acting up from those training. We walked a couple more through the fantasy and military section of the library hallway until a metal looking door had appeared. This was like one of those medieval style doors that was made of complete Dioxirite too. Looks like whatever was behind this must be heavy duty. Able opened the door, what was inside was much less than I expected. It was just a spacious circular room with different primitive weapons on racks. The flooring was made of complete dirt and there was a fountain on the right side. There wasn't much besides some weights too but they looked primitive too. The air was humid, perhaps so the temperature didn't affect bodies too greatly. As I entered the middle of the room, I could almost hear the sounds of training back at the platform. How many more are going to have to suffer through those training sessions I wonder. Then again, those who're like Terra who definitely find some kind of joy fighting. She was always the sort to like the thrill of the hunt. Seconds later, Nex had come to the gym too. He stood right next to me looking at the place. It wasn't much but I guess this was enough for people who don't use magic.

Nex: You thinking of something?

Arc: I was just thinking of Terra. Places like these remind me of her a lot. She'd always like to be the one who took charge, when all she's good at was just bossing people around. I mean she's also quite good at fighting too. She'd always kick everyone's butt before the bell would ring. No one would want to come against that girl.

Nex: How long have you known each other for?

Arc: For rotations already actually, but a single rotation is already pretty long for us especially. She was also my first classmate and academy friends. We've been through a lot of classes together at this point. Though personally I'd love it if she could just let out her sensitive side too. Sometimes she'd be quite the emotionless one.

Nex: I guess she can be like that sometimes.

Arc: But she has her good qualities. At this point, I'd be dumb to never notice them. But don't tell her I said that. She'd think that I'd owe her a free punch to my gut.

Nex: So you had other classmates before us too huh?

Arc: Well I've only been with Terra for the most part. But there were others too. Problem is that I think they've erased my memories of them to help me cope. Though sometimes I have recollections of them. I don't think we've waited for long until you came.

Nex: Then there was…

Arc: I know…

Nex: Do you regret it sometimes?

Arc: Not sometimes. Everytime.

Nex: It hurts everytime I sleep. It's just so hard in some nights…

Tears started to drop down from both our faces. The comrades we've lost and much worse. Our comrades that we were forced to forget. We can't even recall their names to mourn for them. If we even showed that we remembered, they'd erase our memories of them again. I stood up to embrace Nex. We knew that this was the one of the terrible truths of the platform. There were days that I wished I didn't have a strong resistance to cognitive magic. Days when I could just forget their faces too. It might not be the most manliest thing to do though. I'm sure whoever it was that I forgot would've gotten mad at me. I could almost feel their punch on my arm. It made me feel a wave of emotions that I smiled a bit. Even if there were a way for me to forget everything completely, there was something else that reminded me of them. Removing my glove, there were two things scarred right on it. A letter "B" and "S" still clearly healing up on my palm. I knew for sure that they would've never seen this and if they did they couldn't remove it. Nex let go of me. He wiped his tears away then put up a strong face. He raised his fists into a ready position.

Nex: Let's do some training! I know it's been awhile since we've trained but I want to learn to fight better.

Arc: Isn't that something that you should ask Terra to do? I'm sure she'd love to teach anyone how to do better hand to hand fighting. Sometimes she trains on her own because no one is awake back at the academy.

Nex: It's a bit hard asking Terra because she expects her partner to be as enthusiastic as her. She also doesn't know how to hold back during sparring sessions.

Arc: Alright then. I'll be your partner for now but you shouldn't really be shy when it comes to asking your teammates for requests.

Nex: That's why I'm asking you though!

Arc: I'm not good at hand to hand fighting though. Well not as good as Terra.

Nex: Then teach me something that would be more beneficial.

Arc: Well to be honest, your body build doesn't look like it's for hand to hand combat. You don't have the muscle build for fighting with just your fists.

Nex: Oh…

Arc: But that's usually when something like those come to mind.

I pointed towards the weapon rack that was filled with old kinds of weapons. Normally we don't carry weapons with us because we're magicians. However, it isn't unheard of that a magician uses magic weapons. He looked a bit confused but then he realized what I meant. Nex's expression dropped with discontent. We walked over towards the rack. It was filled to the brim with plenty of primitive tools. Some that I couldn't even recognize.

Nex: A weapon?

Arc: Well it's only natural that you would want something to defend yourself properly. A weapon is a great choice. Terra would do the same if it meant she could take it out of a pocket dimension but she doesn't have that kind of spatial magic.

Nex: A weapon huh. What do you suggest?

Arc: I'm not sure. What type of thing are you looking for?

Nex: You're the one that suggested it though…

Arc: You got me there… Well I guess we'll start with something that isn't too heavy. Something like a whip maybe? Or something like a lasso with a sharp edge.

Nex: I wouldn't want to join in the fight with something like that. It might hit you guys if I'm not careful enough. Try suggesting something else.

Arc: What about something ranged like a projectile weapon? There's a bunch of stuff here that looks like it would work out.

Nex: The problem with projectiled weaponry is that I could run out of ammo and my hair kind of gets in the way of aiming.

Arc: Then cut it. Shouldn't that be an obvious solution.

Nex: No way! I don't want to cut it!

Arc: Y'know that hair of yours was the reason why the girls thought you were one of them. You're lucky that I already noticed a long time ago.

Nex: When did you actually notice?

Arc: I think it was when we were on that dessert planet Sedoux. That sandstorm had just hit then suddenly you just took off your shirt to remove the sand inside. I don't think you realized that I was right next to you. I was a bit surprised that you suddenly did that. That's when I said "are you a guy?".

Nex: It was a bit embarrassing to hear that. I thought you were making fun of me or something.

Arc: How come though? I could tell that you want people to think that you're masculine but you're doing these kinds of things.

Nex: It's a bit of a long story…

Arc: Tell me about it. We're going to be in here for a while. It's not everyday that we get paired together. You'd usually be with Terra on reconnaissance.

Nex: True, my power is mostly built for espionage after all. I'd definitely want to upgrade them a bit to be a little bit more useful.

Arc: Our magic is only limited to our imagination and will. If you don't think you can do it then your magic probably won't believe it either. Or at least that's what the first children of Adam said.

Nex: Interesting... Promise me that you won't tell Terra or Nitra about this?

Arc: We aren't much for talking either way. At this point, I think Terra is starting to get irritated by me if I say something that doesn't have to do anything with the task at hand.

Nex: Cool... Then, here goes nothing…

Nex sat on the ground a bit nervous. Something about Nex made me want to open up too but this was still a dangerous thing to do. It makes a person attached and prone to make rash decisions. But I think that's just a risk I was willing to take. I'm sure he also shared the same sentiments as me when it comes to sharing things of our pasts. He's lost people too, the same people that I lost. People that he wished he never knew about. Yet he's had the strength to do it all over again. The same power that can let anyone stand up to a force greater than the universe itself. But what about me? Do I share something too? I've never been in the position to want to share something. Though it also depends how much of my past do I even remember. Compared to these guys I think that was the first few things that I had wiped constantly from my head.

Nex: From what I remember, my parents were quite strange. If you haven't noticed yet, I'm around the 7th generation of Nexes. But I'm hardly the last. If I could remember clearly, there was already someone near the 80th series when I was sent out for my first class. Our familia's magic is quite powerful especially for these kinds of missions. So even if our power output for destruction capabilities isn't strong, my familia still gives their children away. Every child of the Nex familia already has a strong affinity for transportational magic. Most of my kin were already prepared to go to the academy at a moments notice. Personally, I felt excited going too at that time. For this girly stuff, well my parents in particular always wanted a daughter but they could never bear one. All my siblings were boys. They thought that if they kept telling me over and over that I was a girl then maybe I would act like one or be one. This lasted for the longest time before I got shipped into the academy. They'd buy me dresses and cut my hair like the other daughters of Nex. In our series, I was the one that seemed to be a girl while the others were male. Well eventually that wouldn't last, the weeks before the academy came to get me I finally knew the truth. I was a boy…

Arc: What happened next?

Nex: I threw a tantrum. I was furious because everyone of my cousins and siblings were out there having fun while I had to do girly things. It wasn't proper for a girl to get dirty playing on the platform. The disgusting part was when I confronted them about it, they still kept denying it. "I was their precious only daughter". It gave me chills down my spine when they said that to me. Both of them were sick in the head but what could I do? They were my parents. We already had so little on the platform. So in those last few weeks, I was their little girl until I was finally shipped to the academy. I never stopped acting like a girl because that was all I knew how to be. Though during training I was placed on the boy's section. Everyday was just filled with harassment because of the way I looked. But nobody could land a thing because I was a child of Nex. It was the quiet kind that hurt the most.

Nex: Are you ever going to visit them again? Talk to them about it.

Nex: No… what's the point? That's why it hurts a lot to me when people still think of me as a girl. But what could I do? I can't change my look or anything because in the end I'm still the same on the inside. It doesn't matter anymore if I change my look. I'll keep what I look like the same as a scar to remind me of my familia. All that matters to me now is what my teammates think of me. The only people I want to care about. People like you Arc! So thank you Arc! Thanks for standing up for me when I didn't have the courage to. Thanks for hearing out the real me… Thank you… I really do mean it…

His tears started to fall again as he gave me a great big smile. It must've hurt him so much when people would call him a girl but what could he do? When someone so traumatized like that, it's not easy for them to respond back. The pain must've been great just to even talk about it. I could feel Nex's trust in me deepen. Those eyes glistened with tears and all I could do was pat him on the head. After a couple more minutes, he wiped them with a new sense of determination. He stood up then went to the rack of weapons. Inspecting them one by one, he was still confused on how to pick one. It's definitely a hard choice since we're going to have to practice with them.

Nex: How about something that relies on flexibility? Like a spear or something a sickle with chains?

Arc: Too much weight, noise, and you gotta lug it around. Definitely not something if we go on an infiltration skirmish.

Nex: I see… Wait what about this!

He pulled out what looked like a knife but it didn't have a hilt guard of sorts. It also had a circle hole on it's handle that seemed to be for a string or wire. Somehow it seemed perfect for now because it was light and easy to conceal. Able came over to see what we were fussing about with an excited step.

Able: That's a kunai! That was used by ancient people of Earth. A relic of the past and not usually used anymore.

Nex: It looks like just some kind of knife.

Able: It's much more than that friend! It has quite the versatility!

Arc: I mean we are using magic, I'm sure we could think of something with it.

Nex: Actually! I have an idea for something!

Nex grabbed hold of the kunai handle. Couple seconds later, his eyes started to glow. He empowered the kunai with his seal, his expression in complete focus. As his eyes stopped glowing, with great force he threw the kunai across the gym. It landed with a sharp noise but right after green magic particles appeared. A millisecond later, Nex was on the other side of the room retrieving the object from the ground.

Arc: Impressive.

Able: That was cool! I should try that!

Nex: Sorry boys, this is a Nex special now. I can already think of the numerous possibilities with this thing!

Arc: What about the amount of times you teleport?

Nex: The distance I throw isn't that far plus it's not something I'm landing on. The way my magic works is that if I drop a seal on the ground it usually disappears after a use because the ground breaks. Or maybe if it's on a wall it starts to damage up. That's why I can only drop one and never use it again. Think of it like you're running into a big wall and then slamming it. The force that the magic generates getting to the seal is how much it slams it. But with this, It can withstand it because of its structure. It's also quite tiny like me. As long as the distance isn't too great the kunai won't break. The good with it being short ranged is that I can also use it more times without affecting the long range seals.

Arc: You're quite the nerd too don't you think.

Nex: Shut up! That's just how my magic works! Everyone knows how theirs works dummy!

Arc: Well, should we get started?

Nex: I'm ready. What are we learning first?

Arc: Well I'm not sure how to teach fighting but I'll teach you what I know about how to use a knife.

Nex: So you do know how.

Arc: Here and there. It's what I used in the earlier classes I've been in. Those were darker rotations.

Nex: I'm ready to learn!

Arc: Okay first things first. The weapon is an extension of yourself! Make it feel like a second hand. Just like some wildlife they have their claws as their weapons. Feel that within you. Second is that a dagger or knife isn't a power weapon. It's a weapon of great flexibility and freedom of expression. It's isn't something that you want to clash with other weapons like axes and swords. Only when it's a dire situation is when you clash with them head on. Maintain the advantage with your footing and other body parts. Here I go!

I ran right towards Nex with all my natural speed. He stood his ground but as I got closer he seemed to have stiffened up on his upper guard leaving his legs wide open. I slipped right under his vision then swept his legs off the ground. He landed with a great thud on the ground. Nex's eyes widened with confused on what just happened. My hands now aimed right on his neck!

Arc: Boom, just like that you're dead.

Nex: No fair! I didn't think you'd rush at me like a mad Artuskan!

Arc: An Artuskan would've been worse because that creature has horns that could instantly kill someone.

Nex: One more time!

His foot back up to it's proper arrangement, this time his eyes a bit more focused. I jumped back at the starting position then charged right back at him. This time he was much more well rounded with his stance. He was prepared but was he ready for this! I jumped and aimed a kick right to his chest. Just as I thought, he tried blocking it! It was already too late! I landed a hard step on his leg then propped it for a mid air reverse hook kick to hit his face. I felt my boot land a hard hit on his left cheek. Nex fell to the ground again this time with a big red mark on his face. Kunai dropped on the ground. This time he was pissed holding his face. Eyes glared with fury.

Nex: Hold back a bit will you!

Arc: An enemy will never hold! If we're going to fight Talos drones or security then you have to know how to fight with that kunai.

Nex: I didn't even do anything wrong! You just have better fighting skills than me. I didn't expect a kick like that.

Arc: Your first mistake was blocking it in the first place!

Nex: Huh?!

Arc: I said that this is a flexible style. Never clash with something strong or with a greater force. That includes my kicks.

Nex: Damn it! How was I supposed to know that!

Arc: Learn with experience. Dodge more! Don't stand like a tree!

Nex: Got it!

This time Nex's stance was much more open. Finally, something that we can work on. I tapped my boot ready then sprinted to him again. With a couple of seconds, my distance was closing in. Nex ran up to me as his retaliation. But this was something common for dagger wielders too. I didn't decelerate my speed rather I accelerated. As I got closer, I saw his arm reaching out about to slash me. A full offense? I don't think so! My body dropped to the floor then slid for the of his middle legs. I meant for a slide so that he could drop with his body on the ground, in the process he completely missed me. As he dropped, I wrapped my legs around his to create a submission hold in an attempt to break his legs. He screamed in pain as I held it in tight.

Nex: GAH! THAT HURTS!

I let go of his legs then got back up. He started to sit on the ground feeling defeated. As I saw him nursing his legs it made me think maybe I should've gone easier on him. That was one just a bit too cruel for someone just learning.

Nex: That one felt like you were going to actually break my legs.

Arc: That was the plan after all.

Nex: How is it that you have a natural killing instinct like that? I wished I had something like that.

Arc: It's something I wished I never had to be honest. Are you okay? I feel like I should've gone a little bit easier there.

Nex: You think!?

Arc: I'm sorry. Fighting is just in our blood now.

Nex: Fighting you makes me scared thinking on how powerful Terra could actually be.

Arc: She's in a league of her own. She used to challenge me a ton of times back during training. Too bad for her, I never liked fighting against her. Sometimes she'd take it too personally.

Nex: I could only imagine. Did you ever win against her?

Arc: Last I remembered… It was five wins for me and six for her. I haven't asked for a rematch because I knew that she was just going to want another one right after if I did. Though I'm sure she'd be delighted if I asked her for one.

Nex: I always thought you couldn't keep up in fighting.

Arc: I just prefered not showing that I could. It gives me a mental edge that my opponents might do something that they shouldn't do. Something that could cost them their life.

Nex: You're a lot cooler than I thought you were Arc.

Arc: Shut up…

Nex: Are you blushing?!

Arc: No! I'm just flushed from this training.

Nex: Well, I'm not going to give up just yet. It hurts a lot right now but I want to keep going.

Arc: Alright then.

His face was beaming with determination despite how messed up it was. I could see that his legs were starting to wobble from the amount of times I've targeted it. Nex's body was screaming for things to end but his aura said the opposite. In fact, it was inviting me to fight. As he picked up his kunai again and readied himself, I leapt into action once more.