Traitor

I woke up early in the morning. I stretched my body before facing the mirror. None of my own I look at the rest of my body. I'm wearing only a shirt and a black sports bra, while on my bottom I'm also wearing black jogging pants and it's very comfortable for me.

I prefer this outfit that wearing some girly stuffs. I just sighed and just held on to my short hair. "Maybe if my family had gotten better, I wouldn't have cut you off. Maybe… if I were just a man, not everything would be like this. " Poor I said it to myself.

My men's haircut is also looks fine to me, there are many women who ask for my number and of course, I didn't give to them. I'm also used to hanging out with my fellow women, but I'm not getting to the point where something will happen to us.

It's s just a fling. Nothing more than that.

I stop running and drank some water first. I'm used to working out at such this hours before looking for a job again. I just look in my pocket when suddenly my very old cellphone keypad rang.

I don't have the money to buy a new one. I just smiled when I read Nicole's name on the small screen of my cellphone. She was the one who offered me a job at the that club, and I like her even though I am a woman. But that's all. I'm just attracted to her because she has a good attitude.

I have no intention of hitting with her, she's is too perfect for someone like me.

"Oh? Why you called? " I smiled on the other line as I walked back to the house. "I was just going to ask if you can come here to the bar early than usual later?" my forehead immediately twitched because of what she ask.

"Why? Is there another VIP again? " I also ask her back. This is really the process at the club, as long as there are VIP's coming.

"Yes, and Madam wants you to take care of him," I stopped myself immediately. Him? So it's a man again. I know the consequences as long as our guests are VIP's.

"R-Really?" even though I'm used to it in my workplace, I still can't help but be nervous. I just clenched my own fists.

"S-Sorry, Dem, Madam Nerva really wants you to be there. But if you want, I can— "

"No, it's okay Nikky, no problem. I'll be there this afternoon at exactly five o'clock, "I heard Nicole sigh loudly. I know that she also doesn't want to go to that VIP room and I myself won't allow it either. I'd rather have myself than her.

"All right… be careful Dem, okay?" she gently said from the other line. This is what I really liked about her, she's caring. "I can handle myself, be careful too, our time is still dangerous right now," I told her back and cut the call.

I go straight to the sink and get water from there that can be drunk. I just look at the whole house and look up at the ceiling.

"The cruelty of the world… who else are the ones who have nothing, they are also the one who's suffering too much," I just laughed because of what I said. The cycle of our world will only be fair when you have a lot of money in your pocket.

I decided to cook breakfast first, it was still six o'clock in the morning. My dish is just simple, rice and dried fish and I just dip it in a spicy vinegar.

The prices here in Manila are really expensive from before and have become even worse now because of the pandemic.

I went to the rice field first because I know they deliver a lot socks of rice, so they need baggers now.

I looked again at my very old watch that when maybe I blow it, anytime it will break because of its oldness.

"Oh, Dem? What are you doing here? " the old man asked me. He is the rice porter here.

"Sir, maybe…. Do you need extra people to lift that sock's of rice? Just take me, "I immediately act cute just so I can have this part time again.

Gosh. I was like a stray cat.

"To me, you are really young for this. Won't you be burdened by those socks? It's heavy, " he immediately pointed to the piles of sacks of rice. "That should be the job of men, daughter," I immediately smiled bitterly.

"Sir, it's like we don't know each other, I can do it. I promise, I wouldn't complain," I softened to him again. I swallowed my own dignity. I wanted to argue with him from what he said earlier but I ignored I just ignored that.

I will not make money if I apply my pride. Why? Is there a law that when men do that job, women can no longer do it? Nothing, right?

"You really, okay, go ahead, but ask for help, don't take everything okay?" I nodded immediately and started my work.

****

I immediately sat on the floor of this warehouse. I don't care if it's dusty or not. "Dem, your water." The old Man immediately threw a bottle of water in my direction. I caught it right away and drank it.

They are also now sitting on the same floor as me and gasping for breath because of the socks of rice we hauled.

"Daughter, let me just ask, where is your Father? Why are you doing these things instead of him? " I was immediately depressed in no time because of the old man's question to me.

I hate those kind of questions.

"He's dead." I simply answered and stood up. I also received my salary of 500 pesos, it's okay, it can add to my savings for my Mom's medicines.

"Just contact me if there are newcomers again," I immediately gave my number to the old man. I know he won't give it to others, especially to our fellow men here.

"Sir Edgar, lend me your cellphone, I just want to call someone." The old man immediately glared at Nonoy, "I know what you're planning Nonoy, don't choose Dem, you will only ruin her life." the rest of their colleagues just laughed because of what the old man said.

I just shook my head and informed them that I'm leaving. I've known Sir Edgar for a long time, because I always have a part time work in the morning to be the porter and in the evening to be at the club.

I would also like to find a decent job, regular I suppose. But I only finished elementary school and my salary would not be enough either, it would be less than Mom's monthly treatments.

In today's time, when you don't have a money or a decent back ground, they will always tell you 'we'll just call you', but in the end? You are just waiting for the crow to turn white.

How Ironic, right? But that's life.

I first visited my Mom at the True Life Care Center to greet her. "Ma'am, do you have an appointment?" the nurse asked me, "I am the daughter of the person in room 304, Resonda Galvez," and she immediately look at me from head to toe.

She looked at me in disgust and laid the lag-book in front of me. I just looked at myself and just now I noticed that my white shirt and jogging pants were full of dust, so I wipe it off right away.

I'm used to Gasper always being with me and he doesn't care what I look like.

They put PPE on me first, for the protection of the patient because I came from outside. Fortunately, they allow me to go in and out of the Center because at this time, it is strictly forbidden.

I immediately turned the door open and entered the room.

"Mom, I'm about to pay for your treatment this month, so… get well, Mom, huh? I-I miss you so much… "I held back my tears and looked up at the ceiling.

I didn't even receive any answer from my Mom and she just jumped on her bed while her two index fingers were touching.

I just bit my lip at the same time clenching my fists.

"Mom! Listen to me! P-Please, get back to your old self already…" I shouted loudly but it's still had no effect to her and she just continued what she was doing while still smiling.

"Fernan will be back… Fernan will be back…" Mom said over and over again while she couldn't sit still and even clap her own hands.

I just close my eyes out frustration. What a life, why am I being punished like this? I couldn't stop my tears from dripping down both my cheeks. But soon I wiped it off and stood up.

"Mom, no matter what you do, that Fernan will never come back to us—" I couldn't continue what I wanted to say when all of a suddenly Mom throw away the fruits I was carrying as well as the lamp shade that was in side of her bed.

"Fernan is coming back! Fernan is coming back! " Mom said again and again. Suddenly, two male nurses entered in the room and forced my Mom to lie down on the bed again and Injected something on her arm.

While me, I was depressed just looking at her, at the same time they also injected some medicines on her that it would not go away and to calm her system down.

Mom has been like this since the night Dad left us. The doctor who was looking at him said that it was because of stress and her brain could not take them all so this is the results.

In-short, she has a Dissociative Amnesia. She had forgotten that she had a child and all she could remember was Dad. How he left us Mom.

I just left immediately inside, because it hurts me to see my own Mother acting like that. It hurts… so much. I immediately returned the PPE they lent me to the nurse and went on a trycle.

"Driver, at the Calcious club please," the driver immediately look at me before driving. Why? Is it only now that she sees a girl that dress like this and have a man hair style, huh? Full of sarcasm I said in my mind.

When will I also learn to take care and love myself? I immediately laughed because of what I thought.

It doesn't look like that time will come though. It's impossible. Really.