Confession

I no longer knew what was running in my brain. I am on my way back to my rented house when I suddenly got surprised to see a man knocking on the door of the place where I am staying.

I immediately ran there and was ready to kick it in his back when I suddenly stopped.

"G-Gasper?" he immediately turned to me and I suddenly moaned because of his tight grip on both my arms.

"Fuck, let go!" I struggled to get out from his grip. What's wrong with him!?

"Why didn't you say anything? Do you really need the money, huh? I'll give you—" he didn't finish what he wanted to say because my right hand had already flown in his face.

"Do you hear what you're saying, Gasper?" he seemed to realize immediately what he is saying to me.

"L-Look, I didn't mean to—"

"Get out." I said emphatically to him, "Leave while I still have the patience with our friendship, Gasper."

"But Dem—"

"You know already don't you?" I look him up in the eye.

"What?" I grinned bitterly.

"You know I'm leaving the country?" I saw Gasper's eyes widen immediately because of what I said.

"W-What did you say? You're leaving the country? H-How? W-When?" he was confused to utter those words in front of me. So is he referring to something else?

I just turned my eyes in another direction.

"Tomorrow, tomorrow morning I'm leaving." Why am I getting emotional with this one? Maybe it's because he's the only one who knows about my difficulties in life.

"Look, Dem. I know I'm wrong, but why does it seem so sudden? Tell me, what's wrong with you, huh?" I withdrew his hands on my shoulders and looked him straight in the eye once again.

"We doesn't have a problem with each other Gasper, I just have to do it for my Mom. Besides, I am the only one she can lean on. Go home now." I answered him without any emotion written on my face and went straight to where I was staying and immediately closed the door.

"Dem! Com'on Man, let's talk about it!" I even heard my door slam but I just ignored it and went straight to my room.

***

My things are ready. I also have small belongings so I only carry one bag. I opened the door of my lodgings and was shocked to see Gasper on the side of my door.

That alarmed me immediately because of the heavy rain last night and it is so obvious in Gasper's clothes and hair that he was soaking wet.

"Gasper!" I immediately turned around and went straight to his habit. I took off the jacket I am wearing and immediately placed it on his body which was already shaking.

"D-Dem? Is that you?" he was just starting on me so I just gasped in the air at the same time my weak blow to his arm.

"You, are you really crazy, huh? What if you get sick because of this!? Go home, Gasper. I'm not happy anymore. Please, just this one, listen to me." I got up immediately and stepped away from him.

I also felt that he just stood up suddenly and stopped me from stepping with his right hand.

Creased when I turned to him.

"Gasper, my decision is final—"

"I love you, Dem. I love you so much." That I nail to my own spot because of what he said. I immediately withdrew his hand on my wrist and avoided looking at him.

"I know you're just joking—"

"I love you Dem, okay? Fuck it! I really do love you, not just as my girl bestfriend, b-but as a woman!"

"Gasper, do you hear what you're saying, huh? Do you love me? Are you making me laugh? You know what my answer will be always a no. Go away." I already turned my back on him forever. He was still saying things but I ignored him.

I wasn't even surprised by what he said because I had already noticed that he seemed to like me.

No, not gonna happen. We are not like that. A friend is a friend. Period. I really think Gasper is just a friend and nothing else. And that will never change.

Before I went to the airport I first went to the Care For us Center. This orphanage is very close to my heart. Here I almost grew up. I still remember when I was twelve years old, they always delivered a dish to our house, every day.

"Good morning, is Sister here?" I asked the lady in front of me with a smile. She also smiled back at me.

"Sister is inside, Dem. Come on, and then, why do you seem to have so much stuff with you?" I immediately felt my hand carrying a suitcase.

"Ahh-because, I'm going abroad,"

"Huh? Where? It seems too sudden though?" I simply scratch my neck.

"Yeah, I don't have any choice, so, that's why, I'll come in first," she just simply nodded at me.

"All right, come on in. Put your belongings there in the Teresa in front of you. The children's questions will hit you again when they see you carrying a suitcase." Sister Lily laughed.

I also laugh at what she said.

"Yeah, maybe the question will hit me again. I'll come in first." I put my bag to the side first and went straight inside. When I stepped on the entrance of the Field where the children were playing, they immediately ran in my direction while huge smiles were posted on their faces.

"Big sis! I'm happy and you visited us!"

"Big sis! Do you have any food?"

"Big sis, I want chocolate—"

"Children, stop it. Go, play on the field first, Ate Dem and I will just talk about something, okay?" I just laughed when the kids came back from playing socker on the field.

They have no parents, they grew up here in this orphanage.

"Dem, why are you visiting?" Sister asked me with a smile. I also smiled.

"I'm just here to let you know, that I'll go somewhere far away," she frowned.