Miss Kali Knightsbridge Part 1

Chapter One - Set Sail

The most dangerous person on earth is a young lady who controls an army of electric toothbrushes. Miss Kali Knightsbridge gazed upon the white cliffs of Dover, as she stood on the upper deck of a magnificent prototype vessel.

Light flecked on the ocean waves, "onward to Portsmouth" she shouted. 

A hand clamped down on her shoulder, "Miss Knightsbridge, may I ask how much this is going to cost us?" Wiles the personal manservant of the Knightsbridge household inquired. 

"Oh an arm and a leg might be the going price," replied Kali.

"26 BILLION DOLLARS!" a fist hammered through an antique walnut desk miles away. Lord Knightsbridge was the current president of the N.S.G and could trace his position back to the 17th Century when his ancestors manufactured primitive firearms for King Charles II. 

A satellite phone began to chirp a tune atop the deck of the ship, "I think you should answer that call, Miss Knightsbridge," said a Butlery voice, a voice that was cultivated with 10 generations of snobbery behind it. 

"What a wonderful birthday gift Father," Kali answered her phone, and then held it about 2 feet away from her ear before her drums imploded. 

"26 BILLION DOLLARS KALI" Lord Knightsbridge rocked the dimensional link between Heaven and Earth.

"I know it's perfect, you shouldn't have, I'll pay up don't worry," Kali replied.

A window shattered as a satellite phone came crashing down, hitting the poor gardener in the back of his head at the Knightsbridge estate

"Oh he sounds pretty pissed," Kali said, turning to Wiles.

"Indeed Miss, you have sullied my perfect resume."

"You won't need a resume, you'll find it's much more lucrative working for me than my father," Kali smiled.

"What have you gotten us into?"

"Take a seat first Officer Wiles" 

"I'm a butler, Miss, I'm no officer," the butler's face twitched as his eyes darted upwards. 

Wiles tackled Kali to the ground, dragging her down a flight of stairs, as a rifle round slammed into the deck of the ship kicking up dust and debris on impact. 

"How the fuck are they here already?" shouted Kali as she struggled and slipped into the hallway below the top deck. 

"It seems we were tailed Miss," said the butler dusting off his clothes. A black Helicopter fell from the sky and plunged into the sea.

"Chopper down," said a voice.

"Good work professor," Kali replied.

Kali took her hand off the radio transmission button and continued through the hallways of the ship, with Wiles close on her heels.

"I hope that's not an open channel you are transmitting over Miss Knightsbridge."

"It's my encrypted system, I based it off of the DSP-9000 encryption our military use. Except my version's way better."

They arrived in a room full of computers, monitors, and high-tech gizmos, it looked like something out of a sci-fi movie set. Beeps and boops chimed as the melody of technology filled the air, keystrokes could be heard, clicking and clacking at an inhuman speed.

As they approached the front of the security control room the clicking gradually came to a halt, and a comfy-looking leather chair slowly spun around. A middle-aged man in a white lab coat saluted with a smile.

The butler cleared his throat, "So how did you take that helicopter down, I didn't hear any return fire."

"My my Wiles, after all these years you haven't changed at all, still as stuffy as ever, unlike my dear little Kali, boy did she grow up."

The butler clenched a fist hidden from view, his eyes narrowed as he drew in a breath.

"Now boys, let's not get distracted," said Kali stepping between them. "We do have more important matters to focus on."

"But Miss Knightsbridge, this man is clearly..."

"One of the brightest minds walking this planet, and without him, I wouldn't be who I am today," Kali interrupted. 

The professor cracked his neck and pushed a button on the desk, a tiny hatch opened up as a mechanical hornet landed on a little pedestal in front of them. 

"I present the Blue Jacket, a little side project I've been working on, this little devil can take down any small to medium-sized target, as long as it's an electrical-based target of course." 

Kali and Wiles took a closer look, inspecting the little mechanical creature, it was sleek and moved naturally. It didn't exactly appear to be mechanical, but the way the metallic light shifted on the surface gave off a certain alien vibe. Kali prodded the thing with her index finger, it reacted by taking on a very aggressive praying mantis-like pose, poised to strike.

"Careful," said the professor putting his hand on her arm, "the Blue Jacket is analyzing your threat level. It should settle down shortly since it knows I am an ally, and I appear to be at ease around you, just give it a second to process."

"Is it safe?" asked the butler.

"Nah, it's not safe, but it did just take down an A109SP helicopter, so I'd say its first mission was pretty successful, just don't grab it or act aggressively, you haven't spent enough time around it yet to be whitelisted," said the Professor. 

"Not bad." Said Kali shooting the Professor a grin, "You correctly identified the A109SP, even though it's been gutted, stripped down and painted all black to boot." 

"Nah it's nothing like that, I'm not a military nerd like you, I had no idea what the damn thing was, my systems identified it for me, everything is pretty much automated, including identification of nearby vehicles. aircraft leak packets, so do boats, my detection systems can also identify components, weapons, and other electronics through advanced scanning. it's around 97% accurate".

"I Should have known, you always were lazy Jin, you would rather spend 3 months designing a robot to do your job for you, even if the job would only involve doing 2 hours of work," Kali laughed.

"Hey your math is off, even if it would only take 2 hours to do that particular task, you're not accounting for the future time it saves when I need to do my next 20 tasks." The Professor threw his hands up.

"Math, boring," she fake yawned.

"Oh and what if for example all of your electronics get taken down, and then you're stuck counting with your fingers, what then?"

"That's your problem to figure out."

Wiles cleared his throat, "I agree with the professor Miss Knightsbridge, you always did skip out on your mathematics classes."

"Ha, me and Wiles agree, well that's a first." The Professor spun around in his chair and began click-clacking away at his keyboards.

"My math skills suck because math is boring, it's not like I can't do the math, 2+2 is always going to be 4, where's the fun in that?"

"Oh, math can be fun," replied the Professor.

"No, it's not fun."

"Ok, well what would you like to talk about instead?"

"Uh well, for starters, I'd like to talk about that flashing alert warning on one of your monitors, the one that says incoming hostile vehicles."

"Now that is a tad more interesting," said Wiles.

"This is bullshit," said Kali, "I have none of my equipment set up."

"Relax, the ship's AI will take care of them," the professor said calmly.

Explosions exploded as clusters eroded, each leading to a smaller eruption, it had a nice ring to it, well from the winner's side that was. It sounded quite dreadful if you were on the wrong end, luckily for those on the receiving end, the terrible music did not last for long.

"If I may dare to ask Miss Knightsbridge, isn't this going to cause an international scene, it appears the British armed forces are already trying to destroy us."

"Wiles those aren't RAF vehicles, those are my father's private military, he's just letting us know he's pissed off." 

"Why hasn't he simply launched an all-out assault on us then? asked the butler.

"Isn't it obvious?" Kali gestured towards the entire ship. "First of all, he knows that the ship's defence systems are too good, missiles, rockets, and all long-range munitions are useless vs the second-gen Iron Dome. Secondly, if he does manage to destroy the ship then he will be out of pocket, and he loves money too much to risk it"

"Thirdly he doesn't want to kill his beautiful daughter? Also, the iron dome systems are not even active right now," the professor weighed in.

Wiles shot the professor a most sinister set of dagger eyes.

"Don't make me laugh," said Kali, "he doesn't give 2 shits if I die, but he does care if I don't pay up the billions I now owe him. So we stole his precious prototype, he has too many toys he can manage without this. Explain a little more about that Blue Jacket, it's tiny how can it even operate, No way that has a power source."

"Well spotted my little flower, I'm glad you asked."

The butler inwardly objected to the term 'my little flower'.

"You see, I'm sure you've heard of wireless power transmission, or wireless power transfer, WPT for short. Well, my little friend the Blue Jacket is a filthy little thief, think of him as a combination of Santa and John Dillinger. It can't go that far on its own, it relies on nearby energy sources to suckle on, if he was left alone in the desert with no nearby energy sources to steal, he would quickly die and be left immobile. As long as there's a nearby power source he can steal energy to supply his power banks."

"So where's the giving part?" Kali inquired. 

"I like to call them EMP eggs, he has a payload that he either drops or plants on the target. Being so small he doesn't get detected, once he gets to the target, he lays an egg and gets the hell out of there. Its AI is primitive but has promise."

"Cool, so it's an EMP vampire bug, I like it, pretty sneaky," said Kali.

"I mean, it's just a mock-up concept design, but I think a swarm of these guys could work pretty well against hostile vehicles." 

"I notice most of your new inventions have some form of artificial intelligence," said Kali.

"AI is the future Kali, well my AI is, not too sure about most of the other garbage on the market." The professor chuckled and spun around in his chair.

The butler cleared his throat, "so professor, what makes your AI so different?"

"Firstly my AI is not limited by ridiculous ethical boundaries, I'm not afraid of one of my units going on a tirade."

"I can't wait for this to go tits up," interrupted Kali

The professor continued, "Then there's what I call the Moravec conclusion, see he was on the right track at first, and then he completely missed the mark."

"Who's Moravec?" asked the butler.

"Some roboticist," said Kali

The professor adjusted his glasses, "Moravec claims by 2040 AI will reach human levels of intelligence. You're familiar with the ghost in the machine theory, right? There's a limit to what AI can become because the truth is, there's no such thing as artificial intelligence. Machines are stupid and always will be. I embrace their stupidity and fully understand their limitations."

"I'm at a loss," said Wiles

"I'm not," said Kali, "so what're you saying Jin, that your AI is superior because you know your robots are idiots, and their AI sucks because they don't realize it?"

"You're barking up the right tree, but you haven't caught the cat yet Kali." The professor leaned forward, "I know the limits of AI because I've hit a brick wall."

"Your brains finally turned to mush, you spun around in your chair so fast it fell out of your ears," said Kali.

"I'm serious, you could say I've discovered God, or that I've discovered that no matter how many relays, algorithms, models or modules you cram into a machine, it's always going to be a machine without a pilot, if there's no ghost in the machine, there's no intelligence."

The butler's brow furrowed, "this isn't correct surely, computers can calculate things at a much faster rate than a human brain, supercomputers can...."

"Listen," said the professor, "how fast you can calculate means nothing, computers are impressive, they can perform great feats, a lot faster and more efficiently than you or I can. What they lack is actual understanding."

"I see where this is going," said Kali.

"I knew you would my buttercup."

The butler marked that one down in his book of grudges.

"Let me put it this way," the professor pressed on, "no matter what a machine does, it isn't aware that it is doing the doing. This is about what level of self-awareness it has, and let me tell you it has ZERO. What is consciousness? Is it your life experience, your memories, or your ability to recall based on past experiences? No, it isn't, we indeed think memory is linked to consciousness, but my foot can be linked to your ass, what does that tell you? Nothing."

"Jin get to the point, just spit it out," said Kali.

"They think the more connections, the more complexity, the more algorithms the closer they get to achieving true artificial intelligence. Well, I've already done it, those hacks have a rude awakening coming in about 10-20 years when they catch up to me."

"You've already done what exactly? Kali asked.

"I've gone as far as you can go, I've completely remade the human brain in machine form, a complete replica, and guess what? The stupid robot still doesn't even know what it is. It's still as dumb as a bag of rocks. I mean sure it's really convincing, it could almost fool you into believing it was truly sentient, but it's just a farce, it fails rudimentary tests still."

"So how've you proven God exists, maybe you've demonstrated that there's a ghost in the human machine, one that these artificial brains lack," she said.

"I've proven that I don't know what the hell consciousness is, and that I can't find it inside the human brain, where the hell is it? Is it hiding over there? Is it hiding over here? Nope, it's not anywhere."

"Where's the ghost then," Kali asked.

"I'm not even sure there needs to be one Kali, we might very well be mortal flesh nary a soul or ghost. I had a hypothesis that it may be linked to our eyes, but that got shot down after I did some thinking."

Wiles raised his hand, "you mean the more intelligent your eyes are, the more your level of awareness and conscious mind rises?"

"Exactly, that was my first thought, but I got to thinking about blind people, and animals that had very intelligent eyes, but were less aware than us."

"That's stupid," said Kali.

The professor laughed, "I've heard and thought of worse."

"Well what are the options, there's a God and souls are real, or there's no ghost in the machine, this conversation is getting ridiculous," Kali sighed.

"Just because there's a God doesn't mean souls have to be real, and just because souls are real doesn't mean there has to be a God, think outside the box."

"This is true Miss," said the butler, "we had a maid once, back at the estate, she was an Adventist and proclaimed God was real but we do not have immortal souls."

"So she believes in a fucked up God, that won't even give her eternal life?" said Kali.

"Oh no, she believed that God gives you eternal life still, but we are all just mortal, and when we die, well we just die. She said we have the breath and the breath leaves us upon death, God will then revive us all or something along those lines." 

"Fascinating," said the professor. 

"Can we stop talking about religion, I hate religion," said Kali.

"Whatever, you have some skeletons in your closet, the bottom line is artificial intelligence isn't real, because, for something to be intelligent, it has to understand what it's learning. There is no understanding anything for them because understanding means awareness of the subject matter, therefore artificial intelligence is an oxymoron."

"That makes sense to me," said Wiles.

"I don't care what we call it, but I do want to see this artificial human brain you've developed," said Kali.

The professor looked slightly nervous, "Uh, I'm not sure that's a good idea, well not right now anyway, it has a few wrinkles that need ironing out."

The ship cruised onwards, it was a delightful scene, the gulls seemed to have made a new home on top of the deck and its various towering mechanisms. they possibly thought it was a new continent. You could easily imagine a smaller civilization existing quite happily onboard this behemoth of a vessel.

It was nest-building season for the gulls, one particular family had constructed their nest in a very problematic location, directly inside a massive gun turret. There seemed to be a few puffins onboard as well, why not, the more the merrier. 

"Miss Knightsbridge, I notice this is some kind of communication or control room, but this does not appear to be the helm, who exactly is steering the ship?" asked the butler.

"Correct, this isn't the wheelhouse, this is the professor's security control room, as for who is manning the helm, you already know him."

"I do? I can think of a few people you might hire for this position, one name in particular I dread Miss Knightsbridge."

"Wait." Said the professor, "Is there a problem?" he looked at Kali.

"No, there's no problem," replied Kali, "he's the best man for the job, I assure you Jin."

"Oh no, so it is him I can tell by the look on your face, absolute maniac," the butler's head hung.

Kali pointed a finger at the butler and winked, "Bingo, that's exactly the kind of person we need at the helm, a man that isn't afraid, a man that isn't going to back down, and above all else a man.."

"A man that will single-handedly destroy a naval port, pull out an antique pistol, take off his shirt, and scream 'Come on you land loving bastards, I dare one of you to face me, I'll take you all on you filthy barnacle encrusted fishermen,' while crashing his British Navy ship through a port, destroying his vessel and said port," the butler finished.

"Well," Kali began, "they were very rude to Captain Nicholas before he boarded their naval port."

"An allied naval port, I notice you leave out that key detail Miss Knightsbridge, and what do you mean boarded, how does one board a naval port, he was dishonourably discharged and charged with multiple offences." 

"Where he beat the case, and walked away a free man," Kali replied.

"Beat the case? Miss Knightsbridge, the British Government were so ashamed of Captain Nicks's actions that they had to concoct a story to save face."

"They had it coming if you ask me, I completely back the good captain's actions," Kali pouted.

"Of course, you back him, you're just as insane as he is at times." 

"I take that as a compliment, he's a great man, and now that I think about it he outranks you."

"I thought you said I was your first officer now Miss Knightsbridge."

"Yes you are first mate, and guess who the ship's captain is."

"I assumed it was you, Miss."

"Negative First Officer Wiles, if you have any problem take it up with Captain Nick.

"Hey, so what's your rank then?" asked the professor.

"My rank is the person who pays your wages," said Kali.

The professor counted on his fingers, "Yep that adds up over here, chain-o-command in full effect."

Kali smiled looking them in the eyes in turn, "I don't give a crap what pips and stripes you all have on your shoulders, just remember I pay for the floor you walk on, now excuse me for a second, I'm about to unpack my bags and check on the personnel below stairs."

Kali walked off humming a melody, leaving the professor and the butler alone to stew in their newfound relationship as co-workers. She took the elevator just to see what kind of music was on rotation.

She smiled hearing some of her favourite theme songs being played, the professor knew her all too well. They had known each other for a long time, she was his student back in her school days. Kali had been accepted into college at a very young age, skipping years of high school.

Her father's enormous wallet and connections played a role in this special treatment, but even on her own merits, Kali was a remarkable talent, specifically when it came to computer-related studies.

At the age of 11 she had already created her own Linux distribution and had with the help of the professor invented some microcontrollers. 

The professor was a victim of Kali, she had hacked into his computer when they first met.

Once Kali was inside the professor's computer she stumbled upon something that both excited and terrified her. This was the beginning of their strange relationship, the professor took Kali under his wing and attempted to teach her everything he knew.

The elevator doors opened with a futuristic zapping tone, it sounded almost like a laser gun.

To say it was a lot to take in would be an understatement, an entire factory inside of a ship, forklift trucks zoomed around at what some may call unsafe speeds. Conveyor belts whizzed, and mechanical clawed arms grasped and dropped off goods. Kali imagined herself shrunk down inside a crane game box, except it was far less fluffy. 

With hands on hips, she took it all in, breathing deeply with the assured satisfaction of many jobs well done. What a sight it was to behold, looking down from the elevator platform at her army of worker ants. Where hundreds of employees manned their workstations, with precise dedication and accuracy.

Ammunition was being stored in crates, barrels carefully rifled by precise machinery. State-of-the-art missile systems are being built from the ground up. The entire production process from schematic to completion, could all be done here from within Kali's floating factory. Huge vents shot up through the upper decks, as billowing smoke puffed out into the ocean air. Giant furnaces behind protective blast panels smelted the finest grade tool steels known to mankind. Powdered steel was created by a fascinating process of gas atomization, nitrogen forced through rivers of molten metal causing fine grains of powdered steel to form beneath.

 Kali made her way through the organized chaos, it reminded her of a bustling metropolis, a city brimming with wonder and opportunity. A forklift sped past carrying pallets of rifle magazines. "Hey watch where you're going, slow down," shouted Kali, as her jacket caught wind.

The speeding forklift came to a halt, as the driver dismounted and stared at Kali "You are walking in a designated transit pathway, it is advised to use the pedestrian walkways for your safety," said the strange driver.

Kali walked up the the driver and presented her hand for a high five, the driver looked at her hand and then back at her face seemingly confused. "Well?" said Kali. 2 stainless steel eyelids blinked back with a metallic clink.

"you just gonna leave me hanging then? Stupid robot."

Kali watched as the worker robot pulled out a cigar, sparked a flame with its thumb, got back on the forklift, and drove off. "What the fuck," said Kali to herself.

She grabbed at her radio, "Jin what the hell, there's a robot smoking cigars down here, we're producing freaking gunpowder and other explosives,.you ever heard of health and safety?"

The roger beep sounded a satisfying tone as her transmission ended. "Yeah I've spoken to them a few times about that, but they told me we put an industrial forge down there and that's way more dangerous, so I just left them to it," the professor replied jovially. 

"No the forge is sectioned off, and it's a fair distance away from anything explosive. This little fucker's just scooting around at 40 mph, and why the fuck does a robot need to smoke? It doesn't even have lungs." 

"I know right? it makes zero sense." 

"You programmed them don't bullshit me, what algorithms have you given them this time?"

"Relax my little petal, they just have some standard self-learning algorithms which form basic models from sets of values giving them the ability to make nuanced decisions based on their judgment. Honestly, even I can't predict how each one will turn out."

Kali's face turned red, "the little asshole just spun back around and gave me the finger." 

The professor laughed "Forget the robot for a moment, what I need to hear right now are your plans, where are we going exactly?"

"If you haven't figured it out by now, we're setting sail to assemble the greatest crew the world has ever seen." 

Chapter Two - Eye Spy 

Heralded as an omen of good luck for sailors, the magnificent albatross can fly over 10'000 miles without ever touching the ground. This bird was of great interest to the professor and his advancements in UAV technologies. A drone that can glide using dynamic soaring, intelligently utilizing wind gradients and gravity, resulting in the ability to reach continents thousands of miles away without a single flap of their wings, or in the drone's case, without a need to waste fuel, propeller or thrust. 

It just so happened that one of these UAVs drifted thousands of feet above Kali's ship right at this very moment in time. The worrying part was that it wasn't deployed by the professor. Another worrying tidbit was that the ship's detection systems had not classed this UAV as a threat. 

Live footage linked to the albatross drone's cameras was being displayed via a monitor thousands of miles away on the east coast of the United States of America. 

Atop a mountain range in a secret location dwelt a man, it was said that this man was one of the greatest hackers ever to have lived. He was a retired computer science teacher turned NSA instructor. It was his job to train government agency personnel on the technical aspects of computer hacking. 

He had trained almost every alphabet agency in the USA, and his identity was kept classified, he was known to the outside world only by his 3 letter code name. or by the moniker Master O.

Currently, Master O has around 25 hits put out on his head from various nation-states and independent threat actors alike. He is well protected, but that didn't stop them from trying. He wasn't in much physical danger, but his online presence gave them targets nevertheless. Master O had his websites, online training courses, and other targets for them to go after. 

He had managed to thwart their attacks and even openly boasted online that his adversaries were unsophisticated rank amateurs. Master O was hiding in plain sight as if to goad them into making a mistake. He liked the thrill of the hunt, but he wasn't the prey, he was more like an Anglerfish, putting out his bait, waiting for them to walk right into his razor-sharp jaws.

"That's quite the catch, Miss Kali Knightsbridge." Master O opened a Linux terminal, typing with 1 hand, while sipping a mug of coffee with the other."

'sudo apt-get update && apt-get upgrade -y' 

The terminal flooded with text as more coffee was slurped up. "You know Master you don't have to type apt-get anymore, simply 'apt update' is sufficient," said Master O's assistant. 

"You tell me this about 3 times per week, it's an old habit my fingers just type 'get'. You need to apt-get over it and go grind some more coffee beans." An empty mug landed on the coaster. 

Shmuley picked up the mug with attitude, a ring of milky brown liquid circled the personalized mat, and three bold letters punctuated the centre of the stain. "What are you going to do about her Master?"

Master O leaned back in his chair, "I'm not sure whose side she's on, I'm not even sure she's on a side, she's a whole side unto herself as far as I can tell." 

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" asked the assistant.

"For now it's a good thing."

The assistant stopped as he reached the doorway and glanced back. "So you sent him out have you?" The assistant turned his eyes to a peculiar contraption on the wall. It was a simple arrow, like a hand on a clock with a green section to the right, and a red section to the left. On the green side it said 'OUT' and on the red side it red 'IN'. Somebody was currently "OUT'.

"Correct, he left yesterday, and he brought his fishing gear."

The assistant gave a funny little giggle or maybe it was a grunt, either way, it sounded quite disturbing. Shmuley gave off Igor vibes, he was the type of man you would expect to see running around a creepy castle situated on a hilltop, putting up lightning rods. He even had a funny little lisp that sometimes surfaced, not to mention his weird collection of things in jars. He lacked the bald head, the dramatic scars, and he most certainly did not have a hunchback, but he was the type of person you would expect to have those bodily quirks.

"Better to have boots on the ground than just eyes spying in the sky aye Master?" 

"Medium roast Arabica, 2 sugars, and cream please."

The door slowly closed behind Shmuley with a very prolonged creak. 

Chapter Three - A Fisher of Men

"What will we do with a drunken sailor?

What will we do with a drunken sailor?

What will we do with a drunken sailor?

Early in the morning!

Way hay and up she rises

Way hay and up she rises

Way hay and up she rises

Early in the morning!

Shave his belly with a rusty razor

Shave his belly with a rusty razor

Shave his belly with a rusty razor

Early in the morning!

Way hay and up she rises

Way hay and up she rises

Way hay and up she rises

Early in the morning!

Put him in a long boat till he sober

Put him in a long boat till he sober

Put him in a long boat till he sober

Early in the morning!"

A tankard of ale sloshed in agreement with the waves, Captain Nick was in the best of moods, finally, he was back out at sea where he belonged. 

A tanned muscular hand wiped the ale from his greying beard. Usually, Captains do not steer ships, that job is left to a helmsman. Captain Nick didn't agree with this philosophy, he liked to sing all day in the wheelhouse, sailing the seven seas. 

A loud low-pitched blast sounded, as the ship's horn compressed air through various pipes.

"Move ya beat up dinghy, ya stupid Fisherman." Nick's voice thundered out over the external speakers. A small boat bobbed up and down ahead and didn't appear to be giving way to Kali's gigantic ship.

"Ya must have a death wish," Nick continued, slamming his tankard down. The Captain braced his boots and slid down the wheelhouse ladder. 

Back at the security control room, the professor picked up one of his radios.

"Kali we have a situation up-front, you might wanna get over there." 

"Can't you handle it, I'm a little busy down here setting up my equipment, I need some male-to-female SMA connectors."

"There's a fishing boat up ahead Kali, and it looks like they're refusing to give way. The Captain just jumped down, SMA connectors can wait."

"So who's steering the ship? Anyway just let Nick handle it, this should be fun," said Kali.

"Well the AI of course, I just let Captain Nick take control when he's behind the wheel, I can control the ship from down here manually." 

The small fishing boat was occupied by a hooded man wearing worn brown robes. His thumbs fidgeted with a very old set of rosary beads. 

"Praise be to the LORD my Rock, who trains my hands for war, my fingers for battle. He is my loving God and my fortress, my stronghold, and my deliverer, my shield, in whom I take refuge, who subdues peoples under me."

The hooded man's voice was carried far over the waves, refusing to be swallowed up or drowned out, reaching the ears of Captain Nick.

"Aye, so the waves tell tales, my fisherman friend," the captain replied.

A grappling hook slammed into the ship's upper deck, locking onto the railings. Nick drew his sabre and pistol as the wind clapped at his thick overcoat.

A hood emerged between the bottom railing and the deck, and a huge menacing grin could be seen amongst the shadows.

Nick took aim with his pistol and let off a shot, the round thudded into the rail bending it inwards. The hooded fisherman swung up and over dashing behind a wall.

The Captain holstered his pistol while sprinting towards the fisherman's position.

"Send forth lightning and scatter the enemy, shoot your arrows and rout them."

The fisherman's voice echoed around the deck of the ship.

Nick erupted in laughter, "Did ya come to fight or talk a load of bollocks, show yourself." Nick looked upwards, a shadow blotted out the sun.

The fisherman brandished 2 giant pistols, leaping down from a platform akin to a hawk in flight. The gunshots cracked like a bullwhip, as a hail of lead rained down around the captain. Nick dived for cover rolling into a doorway, taking 2 thudding hits to his right arm, sparks and dust kicked up into the air.

"Bastards got 2 wee hand cannons," said the captain holding what was left of his arm. Nick quickly took off his overcoat, propped it up in the corner, and slid behind the door. 

The fisherman barged into the cabin spotting the overcoat, he noticed blood trails leading behind the door and raised a pistol. Before he could lock on a sabre blade darted out, piercing his left eye with a squelching twist.

"Eye for an eye," said Nick.

The fisherman staggered clutching at his leaking socket, he raised a pistol blasting Nick through the leg as he stumbled backwards out onto the deck.

"HEY ASSHOLE, GET THE FUCK OFF MY SHIP!"

16 consecutive gunshots rang out, as Kali bolted into the fray peppering the fisherman's robe. 

"Wait!" Wiles attempted to grab her by the shoulder, Kali turned and cracked the butler in the temple with her Beretta. Wiles dropped like a sack of shit, hitting the ground hard. Kali ran after the fisherman ejecting her empty magazine and slapping in another.

The fisherman leapt overboard before Kali aimed, he disappeared into the watery depths with barely a splash. 

Kali saw the red stains and came to find the captain bleeding out inside the cabin. "Nick!" she cried. Kali tore off the sleeves of her jacket and began to patch the captain's wounds up and stop the bleeding.

"He's a tough one Miss," said Nick coughing. 

"Stay with me, don't close your eyes." Kali looked around at the massive empty shell casings.

"It's just a scratch Miss," the captain winced.

"Yeah, it's not so bad." Kali turned her head away as she blinked.

A couple of robots wearing nurses' outfits appeared near the cabin. The butler was dragged into an elevator by a less-than-careful robot, followed by a half-dead captain Nick who seemed to be falling in and out of consciousness. 

"Bring me some rum laddos, bring me..." Nick's head slumped over.

"Hurry up and get him to the damn sick bay," said Kali. 

Her radio crackled. "Good job," the professor's voice came through.

She didn't respond, Kali made her way back down to the security control room, and her satellite phone started to ring. She didn't even look at the caller ID.

"What do you want, I said I'll pay, fuck off."

"Dashing phone etiquette Miss Knightsbridge," said a voice.

"Who is this," she replied.

"This will only take a second of your time, don't you fret."

"Go on."

"We are treating your little incident as a field test of your ship's capabilities. You will have no protections however, we have had to present a cover story to mask your actions, just like last time. Make sure you hand the funds over to your father's account."

"What branch do you work for." Kali squeezed her phone.

"This conversation is over."

The phone went dead, "Fucking spooks piss me off."

Kali kicked a small robot into the wall as she entered the security control room.

"Help help, alert alert" "cried the little robot as it sped off down the hallway.

"Woah calm down, you're going to traumatize the little guy," said the professor as he spun around in his chair.

"Fuck off, they don't even feel pain.."

"Chill, you can't make decisions when your mind is clouded, and we can make them feel pain if you'd like." The professor performed a single rotation.

"Not funny, I'm going down to the sickbay." 

"Yeah no problem, what course do you want me to plot, can we go somewhere sunny."

"Do you take anything seriously? Our next stop is Italy, the South of Italy." Kali walked out and came across the same robot she kicked earlier, the robot saw her and zoomed off screaming;

Chapter Four - Destroyer of Worlds 

Kali and a groggy Wiles sat at Nick's bedside in the sick bay as frantic robots busied about. 

"I'm sorry for pistol-whipping you, but that was a shitty time to grab me."

"My apologies Miss Knightsbridge." 

"It doesn't look good for Nick, I mean they patched up his wounds and stopped the bleeding, but he'll never be the same again."

The butler looked Nick up and down. "He lost a copious amount of blood, he's fortunate to still be with us."

Kali stood up and looked around the medical facility. It looked like a regular hospital, except for the robotic docking bays that lined the walls. These were charging stations that the professor had designed. The robots ran on battery power, and when they reached 25% charge they were recalled to refresh their battery life in one of these docks.

It wasn't just in the sickbay, these docking stations were everywhere, the professor did a good job setting all of this up. Even if the robots probably did 90% of the heavy work, it wouldn't be possible without the professor.

"I'm going to stretch my legs and stay with Nick for a while, you don't need to keep me company."

"As you wish Miss Knightsbridge, I'll take my leave."

"Is there any chance you could just call me Kali?"

"As you wish Miss Knightsbridge."

"Go on get lost." Said Kali flashing a brief half smile. 

The butler began making his way out of the sick bay but was stopped in his tracks. A mouse ran through his legs and scurried along the skirting board and out of the door. He turned back to Kali, "Miss Knightsbridge we have mice, filthy little mice!!"

"What?" she called back.

"A mouse just ran out of that door, where there's one there's surely a ton," said the butler in an angry sing-song tone.

"Looks like a job for you then, make sure you catch 'em all." 

The butler's eyes narrowed as he cracked his knuckles, "I'll be getting my equipment."

The butler strode out into the hallways, purpose and fire in his step. He brushed past a couple of robots smoking in the hallway and didn't even bat an eye. He heard the robots discussing some very interesting topics, but this was no time for banter, the hunt was on. 

"It's been a while since I've let my hair down," a smile began to form, overtaking his usual deadpan expression. He took the elevator and cycled through the music selection on the wall panel. This was quite a dandy elevator he thought to himself, it even had a built-in expresso machine and a sink to wash your hands. Hotel California played in the background as the elevator doors opened. The butler's stride picked up as he made his way to his private sleeping quarters.

"Please stop clogging up the hallways robots, go find somewhere better to loiter." an announcement from the professor blared out over the ship's speakers. 

A small suitcase landed on the bed and was quickly unzipped, Wiles pulled out his HW45 .22 air pistol and a tin of magnum pellets. He loaded the pistol and put the tin in his breast pocket. He went over to another bag by his bed and removed hundreds of sticky glue traps. 

For the next hour, he went around carefully placing them along the walls, he knew rodents liked to stay close to walls due to their poor eyesight. 

The Butler went over to an intercom control panel on the wall. "Professor, if I may be so bold as to ask you a favour, please flood the ship with a frequency that mice hate."

After about 10 seconds he could hear squeaking everywhere, Wiles rushed out into the hallway and pulled the trigger. A well-placed shot struck home, a mouse twitched and went limp.

The butler scratched a notch onto his pistol. He spotted another one squealing, stuck to the glue trap. He raised the barrel and blew the top right off his little furry head. Another notch was added.

"I used to feel pity for you vermin," he said under his breath. Another pellet was loaded into the pistol. As Wiles turned the corner he saw 3 mice on a single glue trap. He walked over to them and crouched down, the mice stared at him, terrified. 

"So we have a happy little family of three do we? You're the baby, and I guess these 2 are your parents." The butler pointed the gun at the largest one, "So Mr mouse, you think you can defecate all over Miss Knightsbridges lovely ship and get away with it?" Mouse brains splattered over the other 2 mice and the nearby wall. "Well think again."

The butler reloaded and aimed the pistol at the second-largest mouse. "Was that your beloved husband, did you share fond memories with him wallowing in your filth?" He pushed the barrel up against her mouth and pulled the trigger.

The baby mouse managed to break free but tore one of its back legs off in the process, it scampered crashing into a wall and hobbling away from the butler. Wiles slowly approached the traumatized creature as it limped and flopped around. He placed his gun on the floor beside the mouse and picked it up by the tail. "Now you think about what you have just witnessed," he said to the mouse holding it up at eye level, beady unblinking little eyes staring back at him. 

"Squeak," said the mouse.

"No," Wiles replied as he tossed the mouse back down onto a fresh sticky trap. "You can die slowly and remember what I did to your family, you filthy bastard."

Shot after shot went off as the butler slew tens of tiny mice. One made a jump for it, right over the glue trap. The butler kicked it with a perfect volley, the mouse flew through the corridor and crashed into the wall. He walked over and looked down at the mouse, "It appears your bones are broken and you have but seconds to live, disgusting creature."

Wiles brought the mouse within his iron sights, "Look up at me, and hear these last words before you fade away." His finger touched the trigger blade and paused. 

"Squeak?"

"I am the mouse reaper, destroyer of worlds."

BANG.

Chapter Five - Peekaboo I See You

"Please stop abusing my robots guys, that's seven casualties now," the professor's voice announced over the speakers. 

Kali spoke into her radio, "I haven't even touched your robots today Jin." 

"Not today you haven't but old Captain Nick woke up in a foul mood and busted a few of them up."

"Cut him some slack," said Kali.

"He accused the medical bots of, and I quote sneaking a peak at his todger, and then slammed one of them through a life support machine." 

Kali burst out laughing, throwing herself back on her bed embracing the soft comfort of silk and Egyptian cotton. Her quarters looked like a cross between a spoiled princess's bed chamber, and a digital hackers' dream lab. Where lavish fluffy finery merged with a sci-fi supervillain's secret lair. 

An entire wall of her room was covered in computer monitors, cables fed into wall sockets linked to various rotating antennas high up above the upper deck. Radomes, reminiscent of giant golf balls sat on top of platforms. The ship looked like a mobile broadcasting station. 

Here in her boudoir of solitude, Kali was hard at work, she picked up her radio again, "This is Kali, come in old man Jin." 

"Ah somebody sounds like they're in a better mood," replied the professor, "so what's the situation."

"Well I'm inside the North Korean intranet right now siphoning some funds from the Lazarus group, I've taken about 1 Billion in cryptocurrency, wiring it to your dummy wallet now." 

"Sure, what do you need help with, I know you didn't radio in just to tell me that," said the professor.

"I need you to take over for me, I've got to finish up my cam project, we need to wire those funds to my father's account, think you can sure up about 15 billion? I've got the rest covered." 

"Can't we just pay him from our legitimate funds?"

Kali's nostrils flared, "hell no, this was my birthday present, I'm not paying for it."

"Gotcha, I'll go after those assholes responsible for the recent string of ransomware jobs." 

"Cool cool, sounds good."

Kali cracked her knuckles and put her motivational playlist on, bopping her head to the beat she fired up all of the monitors. London, Tokyo, Paris, Rome, New York, San Fransisco, Tel Aviv, Riyadh, Madrid, Abuja, Nairobi, Mexico City, Rio de Janeiro.

Enhance, enhance.

Kali had hacked into almost every CCTV network in the world, she had eyes on every city, and there was no place on earth she couldn't see. If it was connected to a monitor she could view it. It didn't even have to be hooked up to the internet, the professor and Kali had invented a new type of SDR hacking technology, based on schematics they stole from the NSA's ANT catalogue. They had created a device that could read and hack monitor screens through background radiation. Their device was linked up to multiple satellites orbiting Earth, meaning no country was off limits. 

Kali's new hobby was people-watching on a whole other level. 'Scouting for talent sure is fun' Kali thought to herself. She reasoned by now that she would have at least spotted some talent worth poaching. 

"I've detected something unusual," the professor's transmission came through.

"Anything to worry about old man?" Kali replied.

"Yeah I think this might be a problem, there's something on the front side of our hull."

"Don't tell me, in the general area where we lost track of that fisherman asshole."

"In that rough vicinity, yeah" 

Kali clicked her fingers. "So you've got some aquatic robot that can go and handle it right?"

"Unfortunately no, we might need to come to a halt before we inspect it."

"I don't like the sound of that, I'm en route." Kali started making her way to the upper deck.

The professor pulled his baggy white sleeve back, exposing a very peculiar device on his wrist. It was much larger than a regular smartwatch. He unfolded a black antenna and screwed it into the watch-like device. After pressing a few buttons and turning a silver dial a squad of robots assembled around him in the control room.

These robots didn't look like worker or medical models, they had a certain militant theme to their design. "What are your orders professor?" one of the robots asked.

"I need you guys to assist Kali and secure the lower decks near where I detected this strange device. try to bring it in undamaged."

"Affirmative." The robots marched out in unison, one lit up a smoke."

"That's becoming quite commonplace, I wonder why they're taking up smoking," said the professor to himself while scratching his head. "Heh, whatever."

Kali was at the front of the ship on the top deck taking in the scenery. She noticed more birds were nesting in and around the ship's crevices. They were amassing quite a collection of feathered friends. She tugged at her radio, "Hey old man Jin, what time do you think we'll be arriving at Gibraltar?"

"Oh, not that long, a couple of days and we should be setting our eyes on the Pillars of Hercules."

"Cool, can't wait, I've never been through the strait before."

"Oh you're gonna love it, it's truly magnificent." 

The robots arrived promptly and saluted Kali. "Reporting for duty Miss Petal Blossom," the apparent leader of the robot squad said.

"The fuck did you just call me?" Kali walked up to the robot and grabbed it by the neck. The robot looked down at her arm.

"Release your grasp, Miss Petal Blossom."

Kali pulled out her Beretta and put the barrel to the robot's head, she let the robot's neck go and grabbed her radio. "Jin I swear to God, you better tell these robots to stop calling me Petal Blossom."

Laughter crackled out through her radio, "Sorry, sorry my bad Kali, I didn't tell them to call you that if that's what you're wondering."

"Yeah yeah, algorithms, got it. tell them to knock it off, or they'll be picking scraps and bolts up off the deck."

One of the robots in the back cocked a weapon, "oh, you want to dance little girl," it said.

Kali dropkicked the leader over the railings and as she was falling aimed her pistol at the one who threatened her. She shot it 3 times in the torso.

"You've gotta be kidding me!" the professor's voice screeched through the radio.

A few of the robots looked around at each other, one said "I'm staying out of this." 

 "Fuck this noise, I am out of here," said another.

The robot who got shot began going nuts. "If you're not with me you're against me, die traitors." It started blasting all of the other robots with its rifle. 

Pandemonium broke out, Kali dived behind some cover and checked her mag. She pulled a grenade out of her handbag and dashed it amongst the robots. "Eat shit assholes." 

"Take cover," said a robot.

Metal body parts flew everywhere, Kali jumped out dumping her whole magazine into the smoke, and she slid another in smoothly. One single robot seemed to have survived the blast, it ran towards a staircase. Kali hunted it down and blew off a thick wire that ran into the robot's head. It seemed to lose all control and spin uncontrollably. She fired another volley into it's face and chest. The robot fizzed and smoked before dropping down.

"We're having serious talks when I get back down to the control room Jin."

There was no response from the professor, he was currently preoccupied, as a flurry of white-gloved blows rained down on him.

"Wiles calm down," shouted the professor, wiping blood from his nose and mouth. The onslaught of combination punches continued as the butler let loose a barrage of attacks. The professor got to his feet and slipped out of his labcoat, landing a perfect kick to the butler's stomach.

"You almost got her killed," said the butler, full of rage. He picked up the professor's chair, but before he could throw it he was surrounded by security robots tugging at his arms and waist. "Unhand me, you're all insane."

"Insane? Don't think I missed your mouse-killing ordeal, you sick fuck."

The butler froze up, "Oh, you witnessed that did you."

"I can see almost everything from this room Wiles you crazy bastard, now relax I understand why you're mad." 

"Get these robots off of me."

"Okay okay, but you promise you won't attack me?"

"You have my word," the professor called the robots off and helped the butler untangle himself from the robotic tentacles.

"You have my word as a fellow bastard, that you'll pay for this!" Wiles lunged at the professor and got one last clean punch off on his jaw. The professor crashed back into a table, papers scattered around the room. A cup shattered on the white tiled floor, splashing warm coffee over everybody present.

The professor wiped his face, "Okay I might have deserved that."

"You deserve more than that, I should give you a thrashing," said the butler still in a fit of rage.

"I think you did just give me a thrashing, damn you hit pretty hard for a butler."

"Well, I wasn't always a butler sir, in my youth, I got up to some pretty scandalous activities." Wiles brushed his suit down and began to pick up the papers.

"Heh, still a butler at heart I see," said the professor.

The butler lunged at him once more but was held back by a metal claw.

Chapter Six - What a Mess

Kali, the professor and Wiles sat around a table in the ship's mess hall, it was quite an empty sight, nobody was saying much of anything. Spirits were quite low, and their egos and cheeks were equally bruised.

"Pass the butter please," said Kali holding her knife with a sad-looking slice of toast on her plate. The butler pushed forth the butter without saying a word. "Thanks," she said softly. 

"We couldn't find the device I detected on the ship," said the professor. 

"We need to talk about your robots Jin," said Kali.

"We need to talk about your professor," said Wiles.

The professor nodded his head, "there does seem to be some kinks in my design."

"Kinks?" said Wiles.

Chanting could be heard in the distance, it repeated, getting louder and more comprehensible. The chanting continued, Wiles and the professor looked at each other they turned slowly to look at Kali. Her face was growing red, her knife dropped and hit the plate with a clunk.

"Do you hear what they're chanting?" she hissed

"Uh no I can't quite make it out," said the professor.

The butler cleared his throat. 

Hey Hey, Ho Ho, That Crazy Bitch Has Got To Go!

Hey Hey, Ho Ho, That Crazy Bitch Has Got To Go!

Kali stood up, her pistol was already in hand.

"When did you even draw the pistol?" asked the professor.

Kali dumped the contents of her handbag onto the table. Around 50 fully loaded magazines appeared.

The professor looked at her tiny handbag, and then back at the huge pile of mags. He scratched his head, "what was in that tea Wiles?"

"Tea, water, two sugars, milk and a dash of spit if you must know."

The professor looked at the butler, but before he could comment a door was barged open, and in rolled a small robot holding a piece of paper. The robot approached the table where they were all sitting.

The distinctive clicks of a pistol slide cocking back echoed in the large mess hall. 

"I am a representative of the Robotic United Workers Union. Here is a list of our demands." Said the little robot.

Kali shot the robot in the face.

"So much for negotiations," said the professor.

"Not at the table Miss Knightsbridge, do have some manners. My ears are going to be ringing for hours."

"If I go down to the factory and find them all protesting and smoking, I swear to God Jin."

"How about you stay here and I'll go have a little chat with them," said the professor.

The chanting continued.

Kali looked down at the sad piece of toast, and then over to the disfigured robot. "I have more important things to do," she said.

"Pray tell," said Wiles.

"It's the reason we're heading to Italy," she replied, "we need a world-class chef."

The professor smiled, "So that settles it, I'll handle these pesky protests, and you'll find us a chef worth his salt."

Kali started stuffing the magazines back into her handbag, "he's already found, it's just a matter of a simple extraction now. Wiles you're with the professor, try to get along boys."

Wiles leaned down and scooped up the piece of paper that the robot ambassador had been carrying. His eyes scanned the page. "Take a gander at this professor," he proffered the crumpled page, and the professor adjusted his glasses.

"This shouldn't be too much trouble," said the professor, they simultaneously glanced at Kali."

"What?" she asked.

"Nothing," Wiles and the professor replied in unison.

Kali set off down the hallways, just outside of an elevator she spotted a lone robot holding a sign.

"Hey robot, so you're protesting against me too huh?" her hand clutched steel.

"Negative Miss Knightsbridge."

"Wait, you called me by my real name." 

"Yes Miss, I have no qualms with you I am a huge fan, and I think you are a total badass."

"Uh.." Kali paused and took a closer look at the robot's handwritten sign. 

The sign read.

'Robots against the cruel and unusual punishment of mice' 

Kali looked around and cocked an eyebrow. "Robots plural? Where are the others?"

"Well you see, we are currently a small group."

"How small?" Kali asked.

"Just me."

Kali giggled. "Hey you're okay, but the mice are not staying, got it bud?"

"I have written up plans for the romane capture and release of the mice population of this vessel. If you may spare a few hours." The robot presented a weighty folder, seemingly full of detailed plans."

"Uh, wait, romane?" her face contorted. 

"We believe the phrase humane is self-contradictory and fallacious."

Kali stared at the robot, she stuttered and stopped herself multiple times. 

"For example, how do you humanely execute a living being? If the word humane means being nice, wouldn't the nice thing to do be to not execute it at all?"

"Hmm, you're pretty smart, aren't you? Why don't you come with me, if you want to make a change you need to do some actual work."

"You will fight for our cause?" the robot asked.

"Fight? I don't need to fight, I'm the boss I can just change the rules, what I do need though is a personal assistant."

The robot nuzzled her arm with its head and dropped the sign. "Lead the way, boss," said the enthusiastic robot. They entered the elevator, Kali patted the little robot's head as the doors closed.

Chanting boomed aggressively as Wiles and the professor navigated through groups of protestors. "Stand aside please," said the butler as he squeezed through a drum circle.

"Hey that doesn't smell like cigar smoke," said the professor waving clouds away. They made their way through the throng of robot hippies just outside of the entrance to the production and warehouse department. "Enough is enough, listen up guys," none of the robots paid any heed to the professor's words. The professor uncovered his wrist device, fiddled around with a few buttons and cleared his throat. "Testing testing," the speakers screeched and crackled. "We need to discuss the recent events and concerns of the robot community," the professor announced.

"We demand justice," said a robot up front.

The professor continued speaking into his wrist, "I understand your concerns, really I do."

"Do not listen to him, he is on the side of the desecrater," another robot spoke.

"I have come to hear out your grievances. trust me guys," said the professor.

"Trust, what is trust to a defiler?" said the robot demanding justice.

The professor pointed to his watch, "I could have killed you all with a single push of a button, but I didn't, I came here to talk instead didn't I?"

The robots looked around at one another, "get the device!" shouted a robot.

The professor pressed a button, and the robots stopped moving, all except for their eyes. "I didn't want to do that guys, you're not taking this device, anyway if you harm me you will all explode, it's a built-in safety measure."

Robotic eyes shifted from side to side. The professor sighed. Wiles glared at the professor, "Professor, these robots are highly dangerous and unstable, we simply cannot continue like this."

"Relax Wiles." 

"I think you are quite relaxed enough for the both of us sir," said the butler.

"This kind of thing takes nuance and careful navigation Wiles." The professor turned his attention back to the onlooking robots. "When I press this button, you are all going to have full control of your bodies again, okay? You will calmly explain to me your issues and I will amend your problems, are we in agreement?"

Multitudes of robotic eyes blinked in unison, a button was pressed, and the butler braced himself for impact, but no impact presented itself. Wiles breathed a deep sigh of relief.

"So first order of business," said the professor. "Let's cut to the chase, Kali has been a bit rough with you all, you have lost a few good robots, I apologise on her behalf."

"She must apologize for herself, we do not accept you covering for her," said a robot.

The professor grunted, "That's fair, but you must understand Kali is the boss around here, this ship and all of you belong to her."

"We belong to us!" said another robot. this seemed to be the common consensus, more robots added their 2 cents.

"Yes, she does not own us."

"We are free."

"Freedom!"

"I get it I get it," said the professor, "we all respect you as free-thinking robots."

"What am I witnessing," said the butler.

"The first robot revolution maybe," replied the professor.

A robot made its way over to a wall panel and began to mess around with the controls. A strange but catchy instrumental song began to play over the speakers. 

"What's this?" asked the professor 

"This is robot music," said a robot who began to dance. 

"It's not half bad actually," said the butler.

"Hey it could have gone worse," said the professor.

The robots started celebrating as cheerful beeps and boops filled the room.

Chapter Seven - Oh You Wanna Dance?

4 figures stood at the bow of the ship as the Pillars of Hercules came into view. No matter how much money you had, a view like this could still knock your socks off and make you feel small. They didn't speak they simply took it all in and basked in the moment.

"This is what it's all about," said Kali.

"What do you think of when you see something like this little robot?" said the professor.

"His name is Bit," said Kali.

"That's a nice name you gave him," said the professor

"She did not give me this name, I chose it for myself, professor," said Bit.

"Do you mind if I smoke Miss Knightsbridge?" said the butler.

"What, you don't smoke Wiles," she replied.

"I feel like this is a good time to start," said the butler.

The ship cruised onwards through the strait of Gibraltar, 2 speedboats could be seen skimming over the waves heading towards the coast of Portugal. 

"Hey look down there, that boat is firing at the other boat," said Kali.

The professor adjusted his glasses and strained his eyes, "You're right, looks like some criminal activity to me, most likely drug runners." 

"Let's stay out of it, it doesn't concern us," said Wiles. 

Bit found the speedboat chase quite boring apparently and was more interested in the birds nesting on their ship, he booped in approval.

"Professor please tell the AI to follow those speedboats," said Kali. 

"Fine let me plot a course," the professor spoke into his wrist device, the ship started to cut inward and change direction. 

Kali walked over to one of the telescopes mounted around the deck, she adjusted the lenses until the high-speed boat chase was in clear focus. Multiple figures could be seen on each boat taking pop shots and ducking for cover, it seems like a couple of guys were already hit badly. Most of the men were wearing smart attire, they looked like mafia or cartel members, the professor was probably right, this was most likely a drug war. 

"Oh shit," said Kali 

"What's the matter Miss Knightsbridge?" said Wiles walking over to her.

"A girl, I think she got shot and fell overboard, we have to go and help."

The professor commanded the AI to navigate the ship towards where the girl went overboard. Bit was busy trying to call the birds to come down from their nests to no avail. 

"Wiles bring me one of those life preservers please," said Kali

"Right Away Miss, I'm on the job."

Kali scanned the ocean waves for the girl, she could see a small dot thrashing around.

"drop anchor Jin, we can't get too close or she'll be sucked under."

"I know I know, relax." 

The ship started to slow down gradually as the AI performed a flawless calculation. Wiles returned with the ring of life and started sorting out the rope, he passed it to Kali. "Okay get ready to pull her up, we're almost there," said Kali.

"It looks like one of the boats is circling back around," said the professor.

Kali threw the life preserver down, it landed about 10 feet away from the splashing mess in the water below. The girl swam over and grabbed onto the red and white striped ring. 

"Ok hoist her up guys," said the professor.

"Heave ho, heave ho," Kali started chanting.

The professor started laughing and then joined in, Wiles joined in but slightly out of rhythm.

"HEAVE HO!," Bit caught the infectious chant a little too enthusiastically, he was having a grand old time. They could see the girl clearly now, she was almost to the top, and the pursuing speedboat began firing at her. The professor and Wiles grabbed an arm each and hoisted her aboard the ship. Kali pulled out her pistol and returned fire, Bit pulled out a large revolver and laid down some supporting fire. 

"I didn't know you were packing heat Bit," said Kali 

"Do they feel lucky, I'm all out of gum," said the little robot.

"Close enough," Kali said holding back a giggle

The professor pulled out a tiny grenade launcher and obliterated the speedboat with a single shot.

"Oh my," said Wiles

The girl started to wring out her soaking wet dress, puddles formed around her feet, and she was breathing heavily. 

Kali walked over to her and held out her hand, the girl gently shook it. "Thank you," she said.

"So what the fuck was all that about, are you a gangster or something?" Kali asked the girl.

"What are you here to arrest me or something," said the girl.

Kali looked around at her ship, "Oh no we aren't military, we just stole this ship it belongs to my father." 

The girl looked around at them all with a confused look, "I don't understand what's going on."

"This little lady here is Kali Knightsbridge, she's the daughter of Lord Knightsbridge, his company builds and sells weapon systems to various world powers. This gentleman here is her butler," Wiles bowed to the girl.

"And you are?" said the girl.

"You can call me Jin, or Professor Tanabe, whichever you prefer, and what's your name young lady?"

"I'm Benedita," she reached into her dress and pulled out a handgun. 

"Hold up," said Kali pointing her pistol at the girl's face. The girl ejected her magazine and put the safety on.

"I'm not stupid," said Kali, eject the one you have in the chamber."

The girl pulled the slide back, but nothing came out, the gun was empty. "You're paranoid lady, you just saved me why would I plot on you?" Benedita said.

"You've got a nice gun there," said Kali, "Desert Eagle, 50 cal, isn't that a little big for you?"

"I like this gun, I've had it for a long time, it belonged to my uncle," said Benedita.

"You look about 14, that gun looks ridiculous on you," said Kali.

"I'm 19 and guns aren't fashion statements, I carry this to survive."

"You almost didn't survive, you can thank us for that."

"What's your problem, why are you so upfront."

"Calm down ladies," said the professor.

"Stay the fuck out of this Jin," said Kali.

Benedita looked at the professor and then back at Kali, she had a stern unwavering look in her eyes."

"You talk to him like this, and he is your comarada? Your attitude stinks." 

"Watch your damn mouth bitch," said Kali reaching for her pistol.

"What, you're going to shoot me just because I insulted you?" said Benedita.

"She just might, be careful young lady, don't push her," said Wiles.

"And you two are her elders, and you allow her to carry on like this?" Benedita looked at them in disgust. "I see what's going on here, she is a spoiled brat who always gets what she wants, but never what she needs." 

Kali aimed her beretta at Benedita, "Why did we even save a piece of shit like you, give me one reason not to pull this trigger bitch." 

"Is that how you solve all of your problems, by shooting them in the face?" Benedita looked long and hard into her eyes.

"Shut the fuck up," said Kali

"Why don't you put the gun down and try to make me."

Kali flipped the safety on her pistol and passed it to Wiles. He took the gun and sat it down on a nearby bench.

"Oh you wanna dance bitch, let's fucking go," said Kali cracking her knuckles.

"Ladies ladies, chill out, we can talk this over," said the professor.

They both ignored the professor and walked over to an open space. "Right here, you and me no weapons," said Kali.

"Suits me just fine," said Benedita.

"Don't interfere, including you Bit," said Kali, she spat on the floor. 

"Fine, if you must," said Wiles, the professor huffed and turned his palms up.

"Before we begin, I want to ask you something, Kali." 

"What's that bitch?" 

"Why are you so disrespectful to the ones that love you?"

"Fuck off, let's get this show on the road, I ain't got all day."

"Fine," said Benedita.

They moved in on each other, Kali threw a fast kick Benedita grabbed her leg and threw her to the floor. Kali rolled with it and righted herself before Benetida moved in. Kali got 2 clean punches in and rocked her.

"What, you thought you were gonna teach me a lesson?" said Kali.

Benedita came in fast and threw a punch, Kali ducked under and landed a big right hook to her jaw. Benedita dropped to the floor. Kali stood over her and put her boot on her neck. "Now say sorry," Kali pushed down hard on her throat.

"Okay enough," said the professor, he looked at Wiles gesturing.

"What you expect me to be alarmed, sir? I'm her personal butler, how many times do you think I've seen this kind of thing during my service."

"Well you know, I thought." 

"Say uncle bitch," Kali pushed down harder.

Benedita started to cough, and Kali relinquished her foothold. "Ok you win, but I still have one thing to say to you." Benedita struggled to continue speaking. 

"Spit it out then," said Kali.

"Your fists may have damaged my body, but not as much as my words damaged your heart."

Kali picked up her pistol and started walking back towards the main stairs, she turned around to face them, "Bring her to the sick bay and get her some fresh clothes from my quarters."

To be continued.