19 Ch. 18. I'm confused

The next day, I woke up with the sunlight on my face, and the chirping sound of the birds. I realized that I was getting late for school, and I slept like a pig that I missed the time of my workout.

For the very first time, my day started without going to the gym. And I had no regret about it because the time I spent with Fee was so precious.

My smile vanished when the thought of Jason emerged into my mind, fuck! I couldn't meet him at the gym, I need to tell him that I can't be his project partner since Fee is also my senior.

I quickly got up and finished my morning chores. I need to confirm with Fiona that she would collaborate with me or not because she didn't say yes to my proposal yesterday. So, I just need to make sure that she hasn't started the assignment with somebody else.

But if I'll ditch Jason, how would I know about my feelings? I don't know if I'm attracted to him or falling for him.

Wait! Fiona was talking about some similarities yesterday but the topic diverted into attraction and love, what the heck!

Even if I'm in any phase of love or not, the curiosity to know the similarities amidst us was rising like the rays of the sun.

Jesus! So many questions, so many complications, and so many obstacles. I'm confused…!

I had a pocket diary in which I used to note the tasks of the day when I had multiple tasks to perform. I brought out my diary from my school bag and noted down everything with sequence. To ask Fiona about collaboration. To find out my feelings. To know about similarities. To know more about Jason. Last, what to do with my feelings?

I descended the stairs, went to the dining area, and found my family doing breakfast. Oh, God! I wanted to talk to Fiona but now, I can't.

One by one, everyone greeted me and I also did the same as always. With my family, I never get any emotion or affection, they never talk to me, either they will give orders or they will do their functions like an application or the computer.

Though I sometimes feel that my father loves me because he never goes against my will, and my mother behaves like I'm an adopted child.

After finishing my juice and omelet, I bid goodbye to everyone and went to the kitchen to talk to Fiona but as I knew I couldn't talk to Fiona when the Queen was already seeing me from her throne, so I took chocolate from the refrigerator and told Fiona that I was waiting for her in the car.

The driver had no patience, he was asking again and again in five minutes, "madam, shall I start the car?"

It was damn frustrating, after waiting for twenty minutes, Fiona showed up, "I'm sorry! I need to clean the mess of the dining table before leaving for the school," she finally reached the car with her school bag.

As soon as I heard her words, my frustration faded away. Where I just need to finish my breakfast, she needs to finish her work first before going to school, and I felt guilty.

"It's fine, Fee! Let's go to school!" I opened the door of the car for her.

The flinging expressions appeared on her face but I just caught her hand and pushed her into the car.

She still tried to argue, "but…" I interrupted her, "we are friends for my sake, and friends go to the school together," I pouted and crossed my hands.

"Okay! I never heard that you are cute or drama queen," she stifled a giggle.

I laughed out wholeheartedly, "I'm not!" I gave my diary in her hand, it's difficult to say all this stuff to her. I don't know why but I find it very tough to explain all these lovey-dovey things, so it's better to show than saying.

"Oh, five tasks to do…," she smirked.

"You look so funny when you smirk, haha" I chuckled, "now, would you like to tell me if you want to collaborate with me?"

She pressed her lips, it was already giving me the negative vibe, "uh, I badly want to do because I want to do rest, if you would be my partner, all the work will be done by you only," she snickered, "but I guess, you should collaborate with Jason only since you want to know more about him, and it's the best reason that you guys would be able to spend some time together, hang out together, eat together, etc," she winked.

"I'll help you with your project," I gleamed, "you know, Fee I have just one dream to become a doctor. I don't know what I'll do if I find that my heart is falling for him…," I looked at the outside of the window, "I'm not sure if I would accept my feelings, I just don't know what to do, I'm so fucking confused."

Fee took my hands in her hands, and started comforting me, "I know, all these things are new to you but if you have feelings for him, you can't deny it. You won't be able to escape from your feelings, I'm sure if you guys are meant to be together, both of you will achieve your dreams with each other's support and love. After all, this is what real and true love means, it's like doing everything with each other; falling, getting up, stumbling, rising, and everything."

I can always listen to her without even getting bored, "you bitch! You are trying to make me believe in your fairytales and this cheesy stuff," and we started giggling.

"You know, he doesn't even allow any girl to come near to him. I have known him since childhood, we studied in the same school, he had a girl best friend but then, she just disappeared from his life and I never saw them together again, we are not friends yet we exchange polite smiles with each other," she started telling everything about Jason.

She continued further, "he is a gentleman, kind, sweet, and perfect person for you, he has the three best buddies who are as handsome as him but two of them are devils and playboys. I kinda hate them but Jason is not like them, for him, love and relationship matters a lot, that's what all I know about him," she shrugged her shoulders.

"Wait, do you have a crush on him? Please, tell me, if you have because I don't want to hurt you," I raised my eyebrows.

She made a serious face, "actually, um…, I," she started chortling, "you are mad, I don't like him in that way, he helped me a lot whenever my mother fell ill and I had to go to do her work. He is the topper of our class, so whenever I missed any class, he gave me his notes, and sometimes he taught me but I didn't like him. I don't feel anything for him," she shook her head.

"And what's about our similarities?" My curiosity was making me behave like a five years old kid.

"You don't have a male friend, he doesn't have a female friend. You both are kind, humble, honest, and charming. You both don't like to play with other's feelings. I know, you both are so different from each other yet you guys have similarities that can't be seen by any ordinary person but only me."

Her words were making me feel like he was a gentleman who at least deserved my feelings.

We arrived at the school, "okay! Let's go to the class!" I suggested and we climbed out of the car.

"Now, it's time for study."

"Yes, Fee."

We were walking towards our classes, and suddenly someone yelled from behind, "partner! Hey, wait for me!"

I grinned or maybe blushed like a baby, the owner of the voice was none other than Jason.

"Can you stop calling me partner? It's school, you are embarrassing me," I grimaced.

Fee glared at me with open eyes, "it's fine to be called a partner. I badly want to see you guys together," she whispered in my ears.

I hit her arm with my elbow, "shush!"

"Okay! No big deal!" He rolled his eyes.

"So, why were you calling me?" I inquired and his face fell to the ground.

"Why are you behaving like cops? I haven't committed any crime," he retorted.

Few and I looked at each other and cackled, how innocent he looks…!

I tried to be a cool dude, "okay! Let's go to the class, buddy!"

His eyes widened for two seconds, then he nodded and started walking beside me.

I was feeling so good and excited, the smile was shining like a star on my lips, my heart wanted to dance.

"Jay! Are you fooling us? I bet you like her," someone shouted from behind us, why was everyone appearing like a ghost?