To Go or To Stay
(MERLIN'S POV)
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"Merlin. Are you ok?" My moms soft voice echoes through the one room cottage. Her worried eyes boring a hole into my back as I stood there washing dishes. I grimaced slightly at the question but I force my voice not to shake as I anwser.
"Yeah of course I am. Why do you ask?" I replied not even looking at her as I focus all my attention on the plate I am currently scrubbing clean.
"Well its just, its been 2 weeks Merlin, and your still here." I freeze at that my frown deepening as I hold my hands forcefully under the soapy water in an attempt to hide my shaking.
"Its been so long since I saw you last that I figured I'd spend some time with you. Don'tyou want me here?" I stated avoiding her gaze as I dried my hands on my apron before returning each dish to its proper place.
"No my darling of course I love having you here, but...." She trailed off biting her lip as her worried gaze followed me across the room. Sighing and putting away the last dish before facing my mom.
"Well I've been thinking. What if I don't go back. After all you only sent me away because Will knew, but now...." I trailed off swallowing as I found myself unable to talk about Wills death.
"Anyway I thought maybe I wouldn't go back." She frowned at that. I could practically feel his disapproval. Yet she remained silent choosing instead to send me to gather herbs from the forest. I couldn't help but feel greatful for her silence. I really didn't want to attempt to explain why I am so upset by Arthur's actions. Honestly I am not certain why it upsets me so much ethier. Just that the thought of Arthur possibly sending me to my death has my heart twisting painfully.
Its not so much the dying I am adverse to, (through I'd prefer not dying thanks.), I guess its more the fact that after the Modred incident I expected better of Arthur. I guess maybe I expected to much. After all Arthur grew up under his dads reign. So of course his opinion on magic would be short sighted. Maybe I was too hard on him. I'm sure he didn't mean to insult Wills memory. Maybe I will go back after all. I was pulled from my thoughts by a voice I had hoped never to hear again.
"Well lookie here. If it isn't little Merlin. What did the prince throw you away already." John laughed as I wearily turned to face him.
"What do you want John." I sighed eyeing him distrustfully as I clutched my basket of herbs closer to my chest. He smirked at my tone obviously enjoying my discomfort.
"Aww don't be like that Merls. I just came to see how you were holding up now that the freak is dead." I scowled at that. Eyes flashing dangerously in my anger.
"Will was not a freak."
"Your right he's worse. He was a sorcerer. Ten times worse than any fr..."
"Thats it!" I shouted cutting him off as my golden eyes threw him angrily against a tree. Pining him there with a flick of my wrist. He gazed at me with wide terrified eyes as I angrily stalked toward him.
"Now you listen here you little pest. Will was a lot of things, grumpy, stuborn, and maybe even a bit pigheaded, but he was not a sorcerer. I am, and if I ever hear you disacrating wills memory agsin I will hunt you down to the ends of the earth. Oh and one more thing don't bother trying to tell anyone about my magic. The spell I put on you makes it so the moment you try to tell anyone you will instantly turn into the rat you are." I lied praying he believes my bluff. He obviously does if his terrified whimper has anything to say about it. Magic may not be outlawed here but that doesn't mean its accepted. Plus if Cendred finds out I will be whisked away to be trained as one of his pet sorcerers.
Glaring one more time I turned and stalked away. My mind made up. Arthur may be a prat and prejudice towards magic but he's my prat. He also at least wouldn't purposefully attack my friends like John would.Besides maybe once I show him the goodness of magic he may change his mind. Its still early.