1

The greatest fear is seeing yourself as the person with the guilt! Comprehending my lack of what reality is, the door, the face, THE HORROR. What happened that day was just diabolical and unheard of.

'KNOCK!' I hear a loud bang on my door across the kitchen "I'm coming" I walk towards the door and open it. There is a bright light shining towards me making it unable for me to see who knocked. "NANA! NANA! NAaaa!" The voice fades after saying my name twice.

It's 12pm here in Toronto and I could hear the police cars chasing a crackhead down the street. Every morning, I make toast and egg which I would consider tiring but who cares? Not being able to afford rent is very worrying, I have applied to several jobs but nobody gets back to me. 'Fuck' I hate my life, I finally graduated uni with a degree in psychology; I need to pay my bills and my pride won't let me work at any fast food restaurants. I'm not in high school no more.

The best part of living in Toronto is the incredible view with gangs smoking; constant stabbings and the police officers with their noisy cars arresting crackheads who blame the government for their homelessness. Such a lovely city with no jobs and increasing of house rents without even caring about how their tenants are going to afford it. Sucks to not own a house at 27 years. 

"Mike called…" I let out a loud sigh "not this again… listen Sophie….I'm tired of begging men to treat me better" Sophie looks really concerned her eyes darkens which makes 

her red lipstick that highlights the shape of her lips the main focus. "Nana, I know Mike acts like a dick but for once just speak to him plus he is a rich kid— don't you want to save up some money to pay rent?" My lips quivers and my eyes suddenly starts to pour tears like rain when the clouds are full, I can no longer hide the secret I kept away from Sophie "listen.. the night you left me and Mike, something happened" Sophie looks at me "what happened " I sigh "I was drunk and stupid… Mike used that as an advantage….he took advantage of me and forcefully raped me" as those words left my mouth I could feel a bitterness develop on my tongue leaving me feeling disgusted with my body. 

"I'm so sorry....I wish i could do something...have you reported this situation with the police?" I nod in disagreement "no, I haven't... I just want peace! I just don't want to live a life full of regrets!" 

"Regrets? you say it as if you didn't get violated by a creep"

"yes! I want no part of stooping low to the police" 

I stand up and stare at the fully crowded cafeteria. I have been a professor at cornerstone university. The school has a lot of students which sometimes might be hard to actually listen to all their complaints about them failing their tests. My eyes begin to water.

I can't stop

I walk towards my classroom and suddenly I'm surrounded by a lot of students who were past the due date for the project "prof Nan... my boyfriend was in hospital.. i had to see him" Jo says. she is one of the few students who makes everything about her boyfriend. Jo Cane has repeated my class five times which makes me really worried about how she did not get kicked out of the university last year "you can't just not do any work and expect to pass.. this is a class and if you keep failing it I'll have to kick you out" I say sternly and very loud. 

"she just gave birth, give her some slack" pauline says. she is Jo's bestie who is about to graduate from the university

"If you were a good friend, you would have advised Jo when she failed my class the second time" the whole class gasped and soon after they all laughed.

I felt bad as Jo runs out crying but the truth is bitter

she needs to know the truth. 

"okay. class. today we would be talking about ghosts"

"prof have you heard of the mirror ghost" everyone turns their head towards Connor the sadist. 

"Mirror ghost uhn? and what might that be" 

"The mirror ghost, the devil, the paranormal meth…. Some say that it makes you hallucinate then you gradually go mad and insane" Connor continues

"The mind is tricked into believing they are talking to someone even though the only person there is YOU" the whole class goes silent "why does our mind trick us, why can't we prove there are ghost, WHY WHY WHY WHY. This question is asked by several atheists. Some pastor's even doubt their faith. WHAT IS OUT THERE!!"

As soon as those last words were said, Connor stands up and behold you could see him with a sharp pocket knife "Connor, please put that down" he looks at me and burst into tears

"Paradise waits for me, it promised me…. I have listened and no longer want to stay in this world. Goodbye" 

He picks up the knife bringing it close to his neck and slices across close to his voice box and this makes him go silent. 

"CONNORRR…NOOO" I scream and rush towards him grabbing the knife from his hand while holding his neck so he does not bleed too much.

The screams of pain and distraught filled the room as CONNOR was being taken to the hospital. 

When the police arrived, they collected Connor's phone and as it turned out, he was talking to a stranger on a texting app. 

My mind was traveling into a deep hole about what happened today, I could no longer hold my tears and my eyes felt so heavy. 

I close my eyes and I'm left to dream during my break

"Professor…Professor Nana"

"Uhh!"

"There are two places the mind goes."

"What does that mean"

"The mind goes to dream or to travel to the underworld" 

"Well I am dreaming"

"Are you? Do you know the difference? Are you playing the guessing game? What is reality to you?" 

"I"m confused"

"You are going far"

"What…."

"WAKE UP" the person screams. 

My eyes open and I am shown a cabin

"This feels real" I say to myself

 6

I sight a red light in one of the rooms in the cabin, my body feels so weak and I need to rest. I think to myself "maybe the cabin might have a bed that I could lay my head". 

I needed a break from all this trauma

I wanted it.

I deserved it 

I knock on the door to check if there was someone there, luckily, It was open and I entered and my eyes sight the red light coming from the second room to the left. 

I walk towards the door and as I am about to open the door, I feel a breathe across my neck and I look behind. 

Is this real? 

I'm I just hallucinating?

My eyes tremble at the sight of this thing. 

What is it? 

I need to wake up! 

I want to wake! 

"WAKE UP, WAKE UP, WAKE UP!"