1 chapter one part 1/5

I've always been like this, you'd call me a loner, maybe even antisocial but id like to think of myself as protected. There are loads of bad stuff out there but people are the worst, they never know when to let go and when to say the things they really need to... I'm gonna be honest, I don't like you. i never did but, I'm willing to get to know you... me.

if I'd only give myself a chance to be what I really want to be maybe, just maybe... I'd be able to make some sense of this, no maybe what I'm looking for isn't anything deep.... I'd just like to get to know myself.

Because, you have no idea what its like, truly being by yourself and getting used to it is even worse.

Ren, if your reading this then there's hope for me yet. I hope you made it safely, its just so lonely here, i wanna hear your voice I miss the stories you'd tell me by the fire. I'm rambling aren't i?

Just, please be alive, I'm sorry I let you go, I should have tried to convince you to stay...

I really wish, you'd stayed.

~Lalie~

It all started like this....

One minute I was at home and the next, I simply wasn't. I'm guessing this is the part where you ask me if that's all and my answer to that would be something like, "I don't know, maybe." you probably are wondering now why you even bothered to read this.

well its... this is my life as so I'm sorry its not entertaining, I'm a pretty boring girl after all. you know maybe this is me telling you how my life came to an abrupt end. Maybe I'm not even alive anymore, who knows.

lol.

It felt like only an hour but it could've been more, I remember the cloth and I remember breathing in and I remember everything going white.

what? did you think I magically teleported to the island?

That's stupid.

Look, last I remember I was reading a book, in my room... I was enjoying it too. The feel of the dry and crisp paper between my fingers, the weathered and old but maintained book's leather cover, the smell, the warm lamplight, dry bed.

But then...

Well..

Yeah that's all I remember.

So, now you know how I got here, or better yet you know as much as I do. You're all filled in so now I can take you to the first day - my first day here.

Coughing and trying to breathe I pulled myself from a hollow beneath large tangled tree roots my chest burned and I only felt better after taking in deep breaths. I sat on what seemed like a narrow dirt path and as I looked up I noticed that it only seemed dark because of the trees shielding the area from the sun. It was windy, a lot more than I'm used to but what I was concerned with was how the cold stung my shoulders.

That was when I realized I was still wearing the clothes I'd planned on sleeping in.

Then like a splash of cold water it hit me, and I realized I had no idea where I was or why.

panic.

fear.

Raced through my mind and like blinds being pulled from my eyes I finally realized my situation.

Bare feet I got up and ran.

I just ran along that path, I was out of breath my chest hurt, my feet too but I couldn't stop, because I heard something which, honestly frightened me. something which knowing where I lived, couldn't be possible unless...

sand.

I gazed out, at the sea and the distance, the nothingness that gazed back at me. I shook my head. disagreeing heavily with what I saw.

I placed my steps careful so I wouldn't fall to my knees because at the moment it really felt as though I would, and when I was at the water's edge I turned back to look at....

I stopped, and fell to my knees.

Before me stood a vast canopy of trees, the likes of which I'd never seen before. Large birds flying in the distance and an evening sun just about to commit suicide on the jagged edge of a mountain from which plumes of grey smoke lofted.

Where, where the hell am I?

***

And... done. everything i felt when i came here no, when I woke up under the roots of that large tree. If i could tell you everything that went though my mind at that point it would tire you.

But in that moment I surprisingly made my way back into the woods and to that tree, I slept under the roots of that same large tree, it was a stupid thing to do but at that moment I was in denial. After-all …

"this cant be real." the words sounded unfamiliar, as if hadn't heard my own voice in a long time.

Shivering from the cold and fear and the soon enveloping darkness I pulled my knees in close and hugged them.

I cried myself to sleep, silent tears and smothered sobs.

The mass of emotions that weighed on me were simply too much, this heavy feeling crushing my everything simply pressed on me and forced everything from me. and even though all the tears i cried that night were my last at that moment I simply cried, God knows I probably should have died then, because of the cold and what little clothes I had simply made it worse.

The cold.

It was so cold.

And in the distance - roaring, the sea's waves sung me their never ending lullaby.