What the fuck is happening?
Read and review and yadda yadda...
Pleasantries done?
Good
*CLEARS THROAT*
LET'S GET STARTED...
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I OWN NOTHING IN THIS FANFICTION EXCEPT FOR MY OCs. I DON'T OWN MUCH OF ANYTHING WHEN I THINK ABOUT IT...
It was nighttime in Leanbox, proven by the starry sky and full moon on full display in the cloudless sky. A time when a local exorcist would be on his shift, but instead where was he? On some random skyscraper, keeled over and leaned on a doorframe catching his breath. , His long purple bangs covered his face as he fought to remain conscious.
"How... long was I in there?" He fought to cough out as he stood up from one knee, arm shaking and eyes widened, he would almost fall right back down when he got his ghostly answer, "Fuck you mean 'only two seconds' Lazarus?!"
The man was confused, clearly, dumbfounded even, at the short time frame of whatever took place earlier. His back to the wall behind him proved to be the only reason he was upright at that moment. Whatever those two seconds were, they had this man wheezing like a fat kid with asthma in the Sahara.
"Bazinga!" Piped up the voice of Purple Heart, floating off the ledge not too far away from the exorcist, destroying whatever fragments of a stamina bar he thought he had. And then he fell down to his knees when his Goddess came! "One simply doesn't escape from me~" With a chipper tone, she floated onto the building next to the exorcist.
Too tired to do anything worth a damn to a doggoo, all this man could've done was kneel before the Patron Goddess of Planeptune, after apparently trying to run away from her prior. His head drooped and shoulders slumped in defeat, he tried raising his head to look at her, barely succeeding.
"It was a misinput, MISINPUT!" The exorcist exclaimed, just before going into a fit of coughing again. "YOU calm the fuck down! It was a misinput!"
"You good?" Milf- Purple Heart asked with a cocked brow and a vineboom. "Do you need water or something? Some Nepbull, maybe? It does give you wings~" The Goddess continued her questioning, hovering over to the kneeling man with the named drink in hand. Somebody was having fun at that moment it seemed.
"Thanks..." Weakly, he reached forward, grabbed the drink, and downed it all in one swig. He went all the way back to the 1600s to retrieve his pirate roots, finishing that can in less than 2 seconds. And after crushing the can and putting it in his pocket, he proceeded to... literally sprout wings. "Damnit Laz!" Much to his ire, Lazarus was doing that, not the energy drink.
"Now that you're in better shape, mind telling me why you're emitting SHARE energy? Or are you gonna try running away again?" Definitely enjoying herself, Purple Heart was now leaning over the still kneeling exorcist, smirking devilishly as she not-so-subtly threatened the man. "Hm?"
Cornered and out of both mana and options, the man reluctantly stood to his feet, "I guess there's no helping it then," He sighed, "To be honest, I'm not too sure myself, all I do know is this all started this morning when I touched a weird purple rock after exorciszing that suspicious mansion."
All ears, the Patron Goddess's brow raised at the mention of a purple rock. With her interest now piqued, she opened her mouth to speak.
"Did this rock have a power symbol on it by chance?" The woman asked and the man nodded 'yes', making Purple Heart's eyes go wider, if only by a little, "Great googly moogly! To think I'd see the day!" She exclaimed in shock, startling the shit out of the exorcist.
"Huh?" In utter confusion, the man stared blankly at Planeptune's Goddess, tilting his head to the side like a dog being shown a Neppit video, "See what day, Purple Heart?"
"You're a God, Gynesis," The Goddess chirped partially in disbelief, stars for eyes as she shouted to Celestia, "You're a G-"
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Memerdimension Neptunia: Checkmate Re;birth!
Man, what a start, am I rite? No? Tough crowd, onto the story then...
The time was half 3 in the morning, but no one was looking for beans. The place was Central City, specifically its outskirts. You didn't misread that, trust me bro this is going somewhere.
A man in a red tracksuit was treking his way through a forested area of the city's outer region. A man who was imping down a dirt trail, piece of paper in one hand and red katana in the other. His gaze laser-focused on the paper as he headed down the dark road, with the full moon above being the only source of light available, which was cucked heavily by the thicket above the man's head.
"No, Laz, I will not stop, my leg hurts," He bitterly spat out at no one in particular, "I get that you don't like it when I do but you'll have to suck it up until we get there."
Not too far ahead of the man was a rather large mansion atop a small hill. One with three stories and a faded paintjob. While the windows were still in tact, the place was obviously older than the 20-year-old looking male before it. Who had just put away the paper in his pocket before looking up at the building with a stern stare.
"Look, we're right there, Lazarus," He huffed, heading further up the hill and entering the vicinity of the massive house, "Now quit your bitching before I smack the taste out of your mouth, we've got shit to do."
The journey to doors of the place was rather uneventful, outside of the vibe of the place getting eerier and eerier by every inch he got closer. Something the man shrugged off without so much as a second thought. And in no time, he was inches before the door.
The door had a pair of massive knockers on them, held in place by golden carvings of lions, making the fact that they were still there somehow a miracle considering the crimerate there wasn't particularly low. But hey, at least it wasn't Gotham, that mansion wouldn't have been still standing if it was there.
"Aluben!" The swordsman shouted, grabbing a knocker and slamming it hard enough to dent the termite-ridden door on the first swing of his triple barrage. "I know you're in there, I'm giving you this chance to peacefully resolve this!"
At first, there was no response to his words, not much of a surprise considering the condition of the dusty, musty, crusty ahh place. And the utter state of decay it was in even if it wasn't too obvious at first glance.
The house looked like no-one's lived there for years-no, decades prior. And no-one's seen the place for much longer. The fact that it wasn't boarded updespite the lack of maintenance only made the place give off a haunted vibe. As if the the only reason it was in such good looking shape at a glance was because any attempts at raideing the place lead to emotional scarring for the would-be looters.
"'Maybe we showed up at a bad time?'" Gyensis mockingly asked the air with a scowl, "No Laz, he's stuck there, it's always a good ti-"
"Who dares!?" After a few awkward moments, and in the middle of a skitzofrenic squabble, the possibly current owner of the mansion responded with an angered shout, no doubt pissed at an unwelcomed visitor. "Leave at once! Unlelss you plan to face the consequences!"
"Gynesis Urahara!" The now named Gynesis replied, "And no can do on that leaving bit, Duke!"
"..." Another silence fell on the standing male, this time a lot less awkward than the first time.
Some seconds later the sound of a door unlocking could be heard, followed by the sound of a door squeaking open like a dying rat, with a young woman's voice accompanying the squeals of sorrow the door was letting out.
From behind the massive slab of prestine wood emurged a young lass in a maid's uniform, one that wouldn't be out of place in the Victorian era. She had a bright smile and flawless white skin.
"Sorry about that, Master doesn't like it when he's disrespected," She sounded no older than 30, no younger than 18, and quite spritely, even with the warning hidden behind her words as she opened the door for the duke's guest, "Please, come in."
"Makes sense, who'd like being disrespected?" Gynesis nodded in understanding, entering the building with his limp suddenly missing from his stride.
The man was met with clusters of cob webs sprawled all around, thick enough to obscure what little moonlight peaked its way through the damn-near opaque windows. Dust covered just about every surface the swordsman laid eyes on, so thick and undisturbed guessing the colors of the objects the stuff rested on proved pointless.
All in all, this maid was here for style. That's the only reasonable explanation one could've come up with to make reason of this much dust everywhere. And somehow, Gynesis wasn't coughing up a storm as he waded through the sea of webs in his way.
"What brings you here to my master's abode, sir?" The maid asked, slowly closing the door behind the two before walking with the guest, "We don't get too many visitors nowadays, and when we do they're just filthy thieves."
"I'm simply here to discuss a topic involving Asmold." Gynesis answered, "I'm sure the Duke remembers who-"
"Don't you dare bring up that name in this household!" The man in the house was swiftly interrupted by the man of the house, his booming voice echoing throughout the entire mansion.
Straight ahead of the two established characters, the manor's owner stood at the top of a large stairway, fist clenched in clear annoyance as he stared daggers at the guest before him. To chich Gynesis simply shrugged, observing the well-dressed Duke in his expensive-looking 3piece suit of similar time period to his maid. With his face mostly shrouded in a mysterious cloud of darkness and his hands gloved, the man's features were as elusive as a Russian during 1969.
"I can't do that one either, Duke," The swordsman sighed as he continued walking up to the man, "I know you're a bit unnerved by him but you have to understan-"
"Understand?! Understand what exactly?!" The duke interrupted yet again, slamming his fist on the railing next to him hard enough to crack it. "You're the last type of person I want to hear about 'understanding' from!"
"Aluben, it's been over 69 years," Gynesis clarified, keeping his pace heading to the disgruntled gentleman.
"That good-for-nothing no-life thief took everything from me! Everything but Belle and my mansion!" The Duke exclaimed in fury, starting to step down his stairs to Gyensis, "! And I'll be damned if I lose them too!"
"Calm down Duke, don't pull out the nine," Gynesis chuckled, putting up both hands up defensively, "Seriously though, that's not why I'm here."
At this point, the mansion was changing shape, or would it be better to say it was changing its condition? For one, the webs were swiftly disappearing. For another, all of the dust was being wisked away as f it was never there. Hell, all of the obvious wear and tear on the place was swiftly reverting itself, like everything was being brought back to its prime.
It would've been pretty cool to witness in the moment had it not been for the man with glowing red eyes looking Gynesis down at the moment. His face was showing nothing but anger as he stared daggers at the man before him. A stark contrast to the hospitality that exuded from the maid behind the stoicly stepping swordsman.
"Cease your profane proclomations, exorcist!" The manor's owner commanded of his guest, pointing an accusatory finger at him as he stopped a few inches away, "I know your kind! You're here to banish me and Belle from my abode!" Making the younger of the two raise an eyebrow.
"Are you sure about that?" Gynesis asked cockily, "If that's what you think, then why'd you let me in here? You could've left me outside if you're so certain of my purpose, Duke."
Aluben clenched his gloved hand into a shaking fist, his teeth grit in a relative silence as he thought of the words that hit his ears. And Gyensis simply stared back at his host, shooting a sly smirk as he folded his arms and leaned on the stairs' railing in wait of a response.
"You've got me, boy, I do believe that's your intention," The Duke mused aloud in a much calmer light, heading past the exorcist and stopping at the foot of his staircase as he tapped on, "It's why I let you in here, to gauge the power at which you wield, and determine your character."
"... Okay?" Gyensis deadpanned, clearly not caring too much about what the man was going off about, preparing mentally for any sneak attack that may or may not come his way.
"And to be honest, you're a bit disappointing," Aluben continued, "For someone with your genes, you do not take after your father."
While the waffling of this old geeser went on, the landscape shifted yet again, returning to the cobweb filled mess it was originally, following a pattern of receding into a central point. That point being the Duke himself. And yet, Gynesis is yet to do anything, whether because he too was gauging his possibly adversary, or he was enjoying the waste-of-time that tried calling itself a cutscene.
"We do not care," The exorcist deadpanned yet again, this time stepping down after his host, closing the gap between the two men as his arms swung.
"Now boy, do what you've come to accomplish," Aluben huffed, fixing his collar with his back turned to Gynesis before taking a boxer's poise and turning to face his opponent. "If you have the balls to face me, that is."
"Sure," That was the last thing Gynesis said before he dashed at the Duke, fist cocked and ready to deck the man. "Wha-"
He made it about 3 steps before those webs clobbed together enough to stop the man by that same cocked fist. The situation catching the man off guard for a second as he watched Aluben close the remaining 3 steps with a punch of his own getting ready.
It was aimed right for the living man's chest, but missed just barely as the owner of that chest swiveled on his caught hand to spin himself away from the attack. The maneuver doubled as a counter as it sent Gynesis's feet right for the Duke's face. This too would miss as Aluben simply ducked the move with minimum issue.
"Not bad, half breed," Aluben huffed as he wound up a sweep kick directed at where Gynesis's feet were going to land. Only for him to swing wide as the cobwebs' structure had given out under the weight of Gynesis's momentum.
"How do you know what I am?" Gynesis questioned, superhero landing a few feet away form his attacker.
"Your soul, imbecile," Aluben spat, closing the distance without a second wasted, a jab lying in wait for the older male to get in range. A move that came with so much speed the living man's eyes bulged in shock before he reacted.
"Weave!" Too fast for Gynesis to block, the exorcist barely swung his head out the way of the punch sent his way before he felt a knee follow-up land in his sternum. , "Ah!" He shouted in pain as the air left his lungs like rats hopping out of the Titanic.
The impact was strong enough to launch the mortal skidding across the dirty ground, fucking up his threads as the floorboards proved themselves to be a lot less sturdy than they looked. Breaking apart and splintering on the first 3 dribbles the man made on his way to a new room. That room was the kitchen. And as fast as his enemy skidded, the Duke ran after him, throwing a powerful kick to the man's gut on his way.
"Don't tell me that's all you got, boy!" Aluben spat as he launched his expensive shoes at Gynesis's stomach, forcing the exorcist to roll out of the way by the skin of his teeth.
"Now's not the time, Laz!" The man shouted at no one as he exploited his movement style to try getting back on his feet with his rolls, only for the webs to suddenly rag on his leg. His maneuver ruined, the living ended up almost faceplanting into the aisle in the center as he flopped like a grounded fish. "Oh come on!"
Using his left hand, he stopped his face from meeting the hardened wood of the dusty construct, which also caused the thing to crack under the pressure. Much to the ire of the owner, who had perched himself directly above his guest, fist on a collision course with his temple.
"Don't disappoint like the rest, exorcist!" The undead demanded from above.
The aisle already in his hand, Gynesis decided to push off when the Duke's fist got within a foot of his face, allowing him to gain distance while avoiding the attack that shattered the floorboards on contact. Leaving the vengeful one on one knee and his fist in the flooring.
The kitchen floor now turned into a slip-and-slide, the exorcist grabbed his weapon, which was tied to his hip this entire time, and pointed its handle at his adversary.
"How about no?" The living asked while he was spinning around to face the still kneeling Duke, "Catch!" He shouted as he ejected the sword. It barreled hrough the cobwebless path the weapon's owner made with his body, handle first at the mansion's owner.
The thing went right for the dead man's forehead but was evaded by the target sinking into the floor as if the solid terrain instantly turned liquid, forcing it to dink harmlessly off of the aisle's side. This made Gynesis smirk at himself as he went after his katana, running forward before jumping into the air and catching it. Still midair, the exorcist coiled himself like a spring with his weapon tightly gripped before slamming to the ground. Landing with a horizontal slash that'd cause a shockwave strong enough to disperse all of the dust and webs in the room.
"Better," He scoffed standing to his feet and throwing his blade back in its sheath. "Come out, Duke."
Even with most of the room cleared, all it really did was raise a massive dust cloud. One that didn't seem to bother the exorcist too much as he swiveled his head without so much as a snort. In the near-nonexistent light the moon provided, he stalked the musty place in search of his target.
Even if the place was too dark for any details past a vague silhouette to be visible, the living man trekked onward and on his way out of the kitchen. With the weakened floorboards creaking and cricking under his weight, his left hand gripped his tsuba as his right flailed aimlessly in his traversal.
The second he got near the doorway he'd come from, he suddenly stopped walking. In fact, he stopped moving period.
His body as still as a statue and midstride at that. It was hard to tell, no, virtually impossible to even see, but there was a hint of caution on Gynesis's face.
"Gladly!" The exorcist heard from behind him, a too familiar of a voice for his liking.
Appearing from the ceiling, Aluben came out from the top rope with a villainous double heel kick. Coming down with more speed and force than a small gunshot, the undead had his attack aimed right at Gynesis's head.
"Wretched!" Eyes widened upon realizing the direction of the answer, the exorcist quickly spun around.
At the same time producing a golden piece of paper with some kanji on it, Gynesis would swing at the dead man kicking. Successfully putting it between himself and his opponent in time to avoid licking a nobleman's boots.
This piece of paper would not only stop the kick, but redirect the man behind the kick into spinning midair like a tumbleweed before falling to the ground.
"What the?!" The Duke barked in surprise at the effectiveness of such an unassuming piece of stationery doing so much work.
'And that was before noticing the thing not only stuck to his foot where it made contact, but burned where it did. A lot. So much so he immediately began reaching to remove it before he even hit the ground. Failing the QTE and missing the grab.
"Fuck!" Making him slam ass first on the floor hurt that much more. "FUCK! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!"
Now on the ground, he still tried getting rid of his new source of pain. Only for touching it with his hand to burn the extremity, so much so that steam started slowly leaking out the limb where he made contact.
"Salt paper," The exorcist answered blankly, fishing in his pocket for something, "I try conserving these since one costs my left nut, but you've proven to be far too much of a problem to pull my punches, poltergeist."
With a close eye on the writhing supernatural being, the man pulled out what he was looking for and threw it over Aluben's arm, making a trail over the appendage. Loose and pink in nature, the trail over the man's arm and shoulder pinned him like the heaviest boulder. Luckily it wasn't thrown over his face, otherwise the Duke would've tried summoning a massive tree after getting a third eye or something.
"SALT?! YOU HAVE LOOSE SALT IN YOUR POCKETS?!" Now stuck with caps lock on, Aluben at least still had his cognition high enough to speak through his pain. His shooting, mind-numbing pain.
"Ack-shoe-al-lee," Gynesis retorted, raising a finger and fixing a set of imaginary glasses, "That's not loose salt, it's Himalayan salt, blessed by the tears of Lastation's head pope... Or some shit idk I didn't read the description in a while..."
Still trying to escape his confines, the poltergeist continued his rolling and writhing. He got nowhere fast, but hey, at least he was trying. Doubly so after hearing that agregious accent Gynesis put on to correct him. And triply so when the exorcist admitted to not even remembering the correct information.
"BRUH!" Aluben shrieked in retaliation, regretably getting used to the agony of his situation the longer it went on for, "ALL OF THAT YAPPING AND YOU DON"T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU"RE GOING OFF ABOUT?!"
"Okay, who broke your shift button?" Gynesis deadpanned, moving on before the rolling male could respond, "But anywho, I came here to tell you you can move on. Asmold not only got jailed, but he's dead. He's been dead."
"LIAR!" Aluben instantly answered, pressing X like it was a quick time event. "He got away scott-free after setting me up to DIE!"
His anger at hearing that name flaring up, somehow the Duke shouted less as a result. Not by much, but it was noticeable at least.
"Look, the man died in his cell last year," Gynesis carried on, digging into his pocket and pulling out a picture to show the ghost, "Here's his body."
Lo and behold, the picture showed a disheveled old man keeled over a bed behind bars, easily over 80 years old. His face was clearly visible as he laid on his back, but his shape was not healthy in the slightest. Much to Aluben's surprise, he recognized the man in the picture.
"Well shit," Despite the two sources of piercing pain searing through his body, the dead man came off as calm as a cucumber. No longer shouting, scowling, or even narrowing his glare anymore, Aluben seemed... tranquil? At peace? One of the two. Maybe even both. "The bastard got what he deserved after all."
As he spoke, the salt on the Duke's shoulder began dissolving, alongside the tag that stuck to his foot. His eyes no longer glowed a deep crimson, instead reflected a cool blue as he began slightly glowing a matching hue as his eyes.
"Yes, he did." Gynesis sighed, giving the picture to Aluben with a neutral expression as he slowly began unsheathing his blade. "Your vengeance has been served, Duke."
"Thank you for telling me, had you tried that before now, I most likely wouldn't have listened," Floating to his feet, a soft smile took over Aluben's face, warm and kind, "Besides this place, I'm afraid I don't have too much to offer, exorcist. That bastard cleaned me out before I failed to protect her."
"You don't need to do tha-" Gynesis rose a hand as he tried deterring the undead from trying to repay him, unfortunately getting cut off mid sentence.
"On the contrary!" Aluben insisted, making his guest let out a long sigh.
"There's no winning this is there?" Asked the exorcist.
"Nope!" The ghost answered, before rushing off somewhere, "Wait! I do have one item that didn't get stolen!"
As the Duke went off into the walls, his guest watched with a defeated expression.
"Yare yare dawa," Gynesis muttered.
A few seconds later, both the maid from earlier and her master arrive. Using the doorway, the lovely lady entered the room holding a dusty jewelry box. Not too far behind her was Aluben, glowing a tad bit duller than when he'd left.
"Sorry for the wait, master forgot where he'd stored his family heirloom." She explained softly, stretching the box forward for Gynesis, "But please, take this. We won't be able to use it, and it'd be a waste to have it rot here with us."
"I didn't forgot, Belle, I simply misplaced it and failed to recall where its last location was." Aluben explained himself, not saving his case one bit. "That heirloom presented to you was a part of my family, locked in that box and untouched for generations."
"And you're just giving it away?" Gynesis asked with a cocked brow of confusion, "And what do you mean by 'locked away'?"
"Master's determined you as worthy, sir," Belle concluded, "That and he's the last of his bloodline."
"He didn't need to know that, Belle!" His tome close to a whining child to his oversharing mother, Aluben swiftly interjected. Albeit a tad too late as Gynesis snickered at the information.
"Are you absolutely certain there's no talking you out of this?" Gynesis asked one last time.
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Gynesis's Apartment; Not too long later_
Gynesis was now sitting on his leather couch, letting his blue highlights run down his back as he toyed with the black box in his hands, tossing it up and down idly. His right was eye covered by a bang, and the left was glued to the item in his possession as he laid in his all-red tracksuit. He was surrounded with the typical comforts a $30,000 New York apartment offered. Including a TV, a full living room set, and even a sick PC setup in the corner. Okay, maybe that last one was added later...
"I... should've tried harder to talk those two out of giving me this..." Gynesis mused halfheartedly to himself, "I know it's free loot but I don't like the vibe this thing's giving off, Mathew. What do you mean we 'skipped an important cutscene'? Nobody was reading all that, Laz. Yeah, yeah, save it for when we get home- Oh, never mind."
Even though he was saying all of that, the exorcist kept playing with the family heirloom he was gifted. Tossing it in the air, flipping it around, spinning it on his finger, rolling it on his forearm. This man was just dicking around with the thing. Then again, it looks like an ordinary jewelry box with some gold insignia on it. And apparently, the voices in his head were making fun of him with how his brow furrowed.
"And quit laughing, Mat! It was a lapse in judgem-!" Gynesis bit back at nothing and no one, cut off mid-yap by the consequences of his own actions.
His idle toying continued until the thing suddenly sprung open during a particularly high toss-up -as well as midway through. He tried defending himself for that level of stupidity he just displayed. Either due to its age, lack of upkeep, or both, the springs and mechanisms were simply too brittle for Gynesis' roughhousing. And it released whatever its contents were right on top of the new owner's face.
Those contents were mostly dust and debris from within the jewelry box, alongside a peculiar glistening gemstone. Luckily, the fist-sized object didn't fall on Gynesis's face, that could've hurt after all. It fell on the floor to his side, unlike all that dust and stuff. It all managed to land right on his face and chest, ruining his red tracksuit as it did.
"Shit!" He hissed, barely slamming his eyes shut in time to avoid the decades of history landing in his eyes.
Instantly after the dusting, he flew to his feet and swatted the dirt off of his drip. A desperate attempt to preserve his unknown brand's integrity, and a futile one at that seeing how grayish-brown persisted on the red of his top. Good thing there's no description for the now dusty couch, that poor thing's now more brown and gray than black.
After trying and failing to sort out his soiled situation, Gynesis moved on to a more pressing matter, the gem he only caught a glimpse of falling to the floor a few seconds ago.
With a cough to eject what pieces of history tried injecting itself into his lungs first, the exorcist began looking for the thing. He would dart his eyes to the couch. Coming up empty handed, he tried the floor nearby. Only to get similar results.
"Where the fuck'd that thing go?" The man asked nobody, apparently getting an answer with how he suddenly dashed to the side of the couch his feet once laid.
Once he got there, the swordsman saw a purple stone staring back. It laid on the floor in plain view, around the size of his fist and seemingly engraved with a power symbol. The very same symbol the case it was in had. Unlike the case, however, this rock's symbol was white.
"Huh, how'd it even fall there?" Gynesis huffed in confusion, taking in the oddities of the thing he was glaring at, "What a cool rock, time to put it back before some ancient curse fucks over my residence again, I'm not trying to make it four for four."
As the man spoke, he reached for the item of interest. He remembered his last three homes and what had happened to them thanks to his own carelessness, and he'd be damned to do this place dirty too.
Unfortunately, that very fear seemed to be what happened. Upon contact with the gem, a bright flash flew out, blinding the poor exorcist with its intensity and catching him completely off guard. Luckily enough, the flash only lasted long enough for him to let out two words before disappearing.
"Damn it!" He shrieked, regaining his sight shortly after.
With his vision returned, Gynesis quickly looked around with a panicked expression. He expected to see some unsealed being of malice and revenge floating over him like the Duke he'd dealt with prior. Instead, he saw... Nothing.
He didn't see anything g about his home change, he didn't hear some deranged madman cackling like a hyena at being freed. And he didn't smell the scent of sulfur either.
"Nothing happened? Thank fuck."