1 Chapter one
Athena Dupont Pov
Four years earlier(Paris)
"I-I can't breathe" Everything around me is going round and round, I can hear voices but it sounds like they are speaking a different language. I can't help but feel like vomiting but nothing dares to come out while sweat runs down my whole body making me feel drenched.
"Breath love, breathe it's all in your head just breathe." I hear a lady whisper faintly in my ear. "You are having a panic attack." I hear the unfamiliar voice in my ear as she slightly holds me up so I don't fall."I'm here for you just breathe. Why don't we play a game alright?" The lady mumble's holding me upright." Count with me okay? 1." She drags.
I just stare at her, trying to breathe but failing."1" I say so faintly I thought she hadn't heard me.
"Louder,2." She continues I feel myself turning red from straining myself." Come on love 2" The lady insists.
"2"
"Louder 3!!"
"3" I try to slightly raise my voice but fail.
" you can do it 4"
"4" I mumble a little louder
" That's it! 5"
"5" as I count loud I feel myself calm down. For a while I just stand there while the lady is still holding me. Trying to get myself to breathe normally. After about an five quite minutes my breathing becomes normal.
"You okay?" The unfamiliar woman questions. I just stare at her and her red hair, and beautiful emerald-green eyes. She looks very...expensive. Dressed in an expensive dress, gorgeous shoes to die for. Her make up complementing her beauty. Like I said she looks expensive.
"I will be..."I sighed, she just stares at me her emerald green eyes full of worry and confusion.
"Is this the first time?" She raises her well-made eyebrows
"First time for what?"I utter making her stare at me with worry.
"Panic attack."
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Present (New York)
"That's the first day we met." Mrs Allen reminds me of the worst days of my life. " Athena, do you remember that feeling?" She assesses while staring at her notebook. I stare at her red hair and her well-manicured nails. The moment she noticed me staring at her she smiles at me, showing her extra white teeth.
"I remember, I was there it was me." Stating that I look around the white room. Gosh did I hate this room, this therapy(I didn't need it) and most of all being here in New York? Oh, how I miss Paris and most of all...my friends and family.
She just writes down something in her notebook as usual." Why do you avoid talking about what happened that day?" She questions her emerald green eyes almost piercing in my soul.
"I had a panic attack, a lot of people have that." Claiming that I stand up and begin to walk around the room staring at Mrs Allen's pictures with her husband, her son and even a few of me...Her adopted daughter.
"Where were we when you had your panic attack?" she continues to question even though she knows the answers.
"At my parents burned down bakery in Paris," I mumble sadly.
"Do you miss Paris?" I turn towards her as I know she is trying to prey me into opening up. Her being my adopted mom slash therapist didn't help.
"I thought we were over this," I grumble pointing at everything in the room.
"We were over it, but you have begun to have nightmares and panic attacks since we moved from Paris." She nagged while looking at me in a way that shows she was trying to understand something that can't be understood. " You've begun to be sad, unhappy and you don't take care of yourself anymore." I look at myself through the mirror that lies beyond a wall that is a few meters from me.
My strawberry blonde hair is in a messy bun. Not those attractive kinds but very messy, my forest green eyes now seemed dead, my appearance is worse, in an indescribable way. I look beyond awful, but it's not my fault, it's the nightmare that give me terrible eye bags and my hair, well I never have the time to fix it, I just don't see the point of looking good when I don't feel good.
"I think your depression is hitting again." Mrs Allen states.
"Mrs Allen I'm not depressed!" I stress trying to convince the women before me. All she does is stare at me, her emerald green eyes calculating.
"Define depressed for me, Athena." She states making me roll my eyes at her.
"Seriously." I groan taking a seat on the patient's seat. Word of advice, don't get adopted by a therapist.
She just looks at me like a hawk expectingly, tapping a pen on her plain white desk. I watch as her eyebrows raise awaiting my answer.
With a sigh, I begin" Depression is a constant feeling of sadness." I grumble. But my dearest therapist seems to not be impressed at all as she shakes her head at me.
"You didn't finish" she claims " Depression is a constant feeling of sadness and loss of interest,
which stops you from doing your normal activities. Different types of depression exist with symptoms ranging from relatively minor to serves. Generally, depression does not result from a single event, but from a mix of events and factors.Do you relate to any of that?" She retorts.
I sigh"No, I don't, is that it?" I grumble, it's always the same old shit. It gets so exhausting but no Mrs Allen doesn't understand that.
"I'm not trying to upset you, love, I'm trying to understand you." She claims calmly. Her calmness is so annoying and frustrating.
"Well you can't understand me, you know why? Because you weren't there, meaning you don't know how I feel so will you please stop with this? It just upsets me and brings me back to those awful memories!" I exclaimed, standing up from the patient's chair to pace back and forth. Gosh, I feel like I'm suffocating in this white room. Why is it FREAKEN white!
Mrs Allen stares at me before she sighs and drops her pen, standing up she walks towards me and then hugs me." I..I'll stop, but if you ever want to talk promise me, I'll be the first person you come to." She whispers in a motherly tone.
I had this undying urge to hug her back but knew better. I shouldn't get attached because when I least expect it they will be gone. And yes I'm talking from experience.
"I promise," I mumble taking a step back away from her hug. We are both silent for a few minutes before the door Burts open
"Oh, shoot am I disturbing? " An embarrassed Mr Allen questions.
"No not at all," I assure him smiling at him.
"Good, I came to tell you, lovely ladies, that dinners is ready." he grins scratching the back of his neck.
"Gosh my poor kitchen, did Parker help you? " Mrs Allen questions fear is all I can see in her emerald green eyes. I watch as her husband nods his head seeming very guilty.
Without another word, Mrs Allen runs out of her home office/therapy room. " My poor kitchen! " She continues to cry as she runs down the hallway. You'd never think she's the fancy therapist now. I get where she's coming from though, I'd be afraid if Mr Allen and Parker cooked. They did it once and almost burner down the house. That was the most hilarious thing ever.
The moment she's out of earshot Mr Allen begins to laugh." She's so over dramatic, I ordered Pizza by the way. " I sigh out of relief." Hey what's that sigh for, I'll have you know I'm a brilliant cook." he defends himself but just ends up laughing at himself.
"Don't lie to yourself." I grin which makes him laugh even more.
"Come on kid, let's go eat, I'm hungry," he mumbles as he beings to walk casually towards the kitchen.
I sigh when he of the room, another night to pass and another day shall follow yet they are still gone...
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This chapter is dedicated:
•those who can't find it in them to be happy once again.
