1 Chapter 1- The Start Of It

Four pairs of curious and confused eyes were looking down at me. I could feel my heart leap out of my rib cage because the four pairs of eyes belonged to the most popular boy band group, HAVEN, and my special idols. I'm hiding in a car trunk with a baby in my lap. When I was in college first year, I tripped down a professor accidentally on the very first day of college and ended up with a bad name and a bad start, back then I thought that was the most embarrassing incident of my life but now, that incident is nothing compared to this. Tell me, what are the chances for an Indian girl to meet her idols? Almost close to impossible, especially when her parents are protective. What if she traveled all the way to South Korea to meet them and ends up in an uncomfortable situation, with a Korean baby with her? Want to know how I ended up in this situation and who the baby is? Then you will have to wait for me to say everything from the beginning. EVERYTHING. All you have to do is grab some popcorn and sustain your patience. Let's go!

The early morning walks with dad were always annoying. He would also always talk about his good old times, the road bumps, how we don't pay attention to the overflowing garbage and the list would go on. The dad who always cared about everything. His voice still rings in my ears, "Jeeya, early morning walks are not as bad as you think, just feel the fresh air, the air before it gets disturbed after people wake up". Now that he's gone, I still walk with my earbuds on and the same song of Ha-neul, which he wrote and sang himself about his dad. Here is the starting point of one of many similar things between me and Ha-neul, a member of the phenomenal four-membered south Korean boy band HAVEN. He goes by the stage name Sky (because Ha-neul means sky). At first, their songs were just enjoyable and relaxing, but when I looked into their stories, their songs started making sense. It made me feel things I never felt before hearing songs. Each song had a story hidden beneath each line, each word, sometimes comforting like summer rain and other times heartbreaking like losing a closed one. Whatever the story was, it made us feel something.

The park is barely filled with people; flowers covered in morning mist slightly bent forward as if they hadn't woken up yet. The park benches are empty and the sidewalks are covered in leaves, rustling each time the wind blows. The place is lit with a limelight glow as the sun hasn't fully risen. I sit on one of the wooden benches where my dad wrote with a pin, 'Jeeya is the answer'. I trace my fingers on the mark. I'm not sure what he meant by that. He left me before I could ask him. These memories of my dad are warm enough to keep me going in this freezing life without him, thanks to Ha-neul. I might have been the answer to my dad, but my answer is Ha-neul who showed me how to not forget the person who left us.

My phone vibrates with a text from my dad's number, 'Good morning, young lady'. My mom never fails to text each morning from his number, a silent reminder for both of us not to forget him. An unspoken promise to remember that a person lived a happy life with us once. I pull over the hood of my jacket over my head and get up from the bench to head over the home.

I am emotionally connected to Ha-neul. It's as if our life was the same plotline with different settings and themes. At the time of his depute, he was only sixteen, his dad died because of a heart attack, it was heart-wrenching, everyone thought he would give up music and go back to his hometown‌ he didn't, he sustained himself. After their second album release, I lost my father. This might be the major reason ‌I was pulled toward him; he became my coping mechanism. I watched all his interviews, lives, clips, anything, and everything, where he mentioned his dad. Unlike others who would have flinched or cried while talking about the demise of their closed one, he didn't, he spoke with a smile lighting up his eyes; he felt happy when people asked him about his dad; he was a proud son talking and sharing memories about his father.

In one interview, he talked about the fishing trip with his dad and how embarrassed he was when he couldn't catch even a single fish, but his dad told him ‌it's all about effort and patience, he quoted his dad's words, 'I bought you here to learn about patience, effort and not get disappointed. Wait for certain things to happen in your life, but even after the long wait, it doesn't happen. Don't get disappointed. You will get something even better or the thing you wished for was not yours'. This reminded me of my dad. That's when I realized, I shouldn't try to forget him just because it would help me move on. I should secure all the memories of me and dad. Ha-neul taught me to move on without forgetting the person who left us behind in this world.

Other members are no less, Ha-neul pulled into the fandom whereas Sung Woo, Ji Hu, and Ye Jun made it impossible to leave the fandom. Sung Woo is the eldest, but the leader of the group is Ji-Hu. Except for Ha-neul, the other three members are extremely funny. They are like four seasons of the year. Sung-woo, the spring, would make anyone bloom with happiness. He is a simple guy with a charming personality. Ji hu, the autumn, makes everyone feel light-hearted just like the sweeping of fallen leaves in autumn. He is silly but when it comes to leadership, he's the best. Ye Jun, the summer, this is mainly because he is hot and a universal playboy. He is the youngest, also the troublemaker of the group who has been caught over three times in a dating rumor, which was confirmed by their agency once. Last, Ha-neul, the winter, would make anyone go cold with his stare. He is the second youngest in the group but still the members (also us) fear him. This earned him the name 'Ice Prince'. God, that guy has no filters. But that doesn't stop us from loving him. His alluring character impressed me a lot, so He is my bias.

I reached home by the time 'My dad' played for the sixth time. Our gate was open, which means my mom and dad are awake (don't be alarmed, he is my stepdad). After two years of my dad's death, my mom married a widower who lost his wife and twenty-year-old daughter in an accident, being the only survivor wasn't doing any good to him. I accepted him as my dad the next second after hearing his story, because more than us needing a dad, he needed a family. He was watering the plants which he adored like his own babies.

"Good morning, beautiful, I asked you to wake me up for the walk", he said without lifting ‌his head with a disappointed, tired tone. "And reduce your sleep time? You should be thankful that I didn't wake you up, dad", it doesn't feel weird to call him 'dad'. I thought it would be difficult, but no, it felt right. He didn't ask me to call him dad, he even suggested that I shouldn't if I didn't feel like it. "Did you look out for vehicles, it may be morning but that doesn't stop some freaks to drive recklessly, that's why I'm suggesting I should go with you", this may sound lame to some people but I know how much he wants to protect me, to not let the same thing happen again. He is extremely over-protective, which I don't complain or whine about. After moving in with him my curfew timings changed from 8:00 pm to 6:00 pm. He would pick me up and drop me, no matter what. The same rule goes for my mom, too. My mother's side family told us he is too controlling, but we didn't mind. It's not like he is abusing us or something. He is being careful. This is a post-trauma effect. Other than this, he is a friendly person who would listen to all my blabbers about the day without getting tired.

"Dad, dad, dad, calm down the park is just 300 meters away, if it makes you happy, I'll wake you up every morning, in exchange get me ‌the album I asked you for last week, deal?", now, this is how you strike a deal. I smirked mentally and waited for his answer. "Mmmm, your mom would kill both of us if I buy you that album but we can deal with her later", he winks at me. "Deal with whom later?", my mom's morning voice echoes from inside. "You can answer that, it's my cue to leave", I run before he could say anything.

His daughter's room is my room now. She was so beautiful, all I have is a tiny photo frame of her taken on her nineteenth birthday with one-side broken. He cleaned her room and disposed of everything, including her cot so that it wouldn't make me feel like I'm a substitute for her. I insisted ‌I keep this frame. She smiles at me each morning and night. I really wished ‌she could talk to me. Which is absurd, I know. From the way she smiles, she must have been the best daughter and a kind person.

I am fifteen minutes late, again for my classes. This always happens, no matter how many times I tell them to get ready soon, they won't listen. I sigh and make up my mind to get scolded during the first period and open the door. Uff, heavens blessed me. The professor is late too. I go sit near my best friends Ritu and Shreya, who give me a pitying look. "No, not that look", I bang my head on the desk. "Then you should try to come early. It's not like you are 200 miles apart, your home is just a ten-minute walk from our college", Ritu says as a matter of fact. "As if I begged to be late, you know my dad". Both of them gasp. I couldn't see them but I could feel them doing it every time I mention my stepdad as a dad, well I can't change people. I'm used to it, it's understandable they don't know how to deal with people who lost someone and have someone new in the place of their lost person. Now, they'll change the topic.

"Did you see the new series, it was awesome", Shreya goes and Ritu picks up without missing a beat, "Three series were released this week, which one are you asking?". "Link: eat, love, kill; didn't you see her story on Insta yesterday?", I fill in for Shreya. "Yeah, he is so cute, right?", Shreya says with an animated cutesy tone. "Not cuter than Ji Hu Oppa", Ritu counters dreamily. "Hello, hello, the fact is Ha-neul Oppa is the cutest", I add. "Everyone is cute, okay?", Ritu says and ends the conversation. It is so nice to have friends with the same taste, it's like you never lack topics to discuss. One more advantage, you never have time for gossip. We never get involved in other's business nor let someone in our business (exceptions to K-pop and K-Drama stans). It's not like we are extremely introverted. We have no problem talking with anyone known or unknown, it's just that we are introverts by choice. I met both of them in college, during orientation. They stood out because Ritu was carrying a HAVEN phone case and Shreya was using a HAVEN sling bag. That's how we became friends. The rest is history.

Our dating life is as dry as my skin during winter. It's not those guys don't propose to us, it's that our standards are at their peak. Being a K-Drama fan comes with side effects.

#Number 1, hating every guy around you and falling only for the guys in K-dramas.

#Number 2, even if we like a guy, hypothetically, we would never go out of our rooms (why? K-dramas, duh). If a guy is ready to date us even after that saying we could talk on the phone, chat, and blah-blah, he is an idiot. We use our phones and laptop, only for k-dramas and k-pop.

#Number 3, we can't have a conversation without bringing up K-Drama or k-pop, which makes it impossible to talk with others, it gets messy when a person insults our fangirling.

#Number 4, people automatically assume we only listen to k-pop which is absolutely absurd.

The list is endless. The point is we, fan girls, are one of a kind. Not everyone can handle fireworks. We are explosives in walking form. We stand out.

"Did you apply for that internship? You know you would get into it, right?", Shreya asks both Riya and me. We exchange looks with each other. "I'm not sure, let's say I applied and made it to the internship, after that? My parents would never let me go, so it's better to not snatch away someone else's dream", I say with a sigh. "Cut the crap, Mother Teresa, it's your dream too. Stop being selfless and shit, just apply, we'll come up with a plan to convince your parents later, Mm?", Ritu finishes it with a hopeful question. I can't turn down that hope now. I nod my head.

They both hug each other happy, "We know you would agree, so...", Shreya urges Ritu to continue. Ritu shakes her head no and asks Shreya to say whatever they want to say. "So...?", I drag.

"So, we applied for you. You had all the credentials in your laptop", Ritu interjects.

"As for the recommendation letters, it was quite easy to get, girl all faculties adore you", Shreya says proudly.

Before I could say anything, they say the results are in two days. WHAT? They applied for me to Seoul National University just like that and are telling me those results will be out in two freaking days? Tell me I'm dreaming. This must be a dream or... a nightmare if I didn't get into the internship program.