Chapter 4 Sorry...?

"So, what is it?" John tried again. I closed my eyes; I did not want to look at the stereo that my dad gave my brother last Christmas.

That is when it came out "He is dead, okay?! My dad is dead!" John's face went from curious to grief all in one second and it was my entire fault. You could hear whimpers of pain coming from him. I felt incredibly bad that it came out like that. Even worse was knowing how much pain he was in. My dad Daniel was like John's dad too. My dad took over for John's dad after he had left. My dad was all John knew. At that Jason started the truck, put it in reverse and started to drive.

"Sorry." I just barely whispered as I slid my hand on top of John's and squeezed tight. He looked me in the eyes and said, "Me too."

I screamed again into the pillow that covered my face. Why? I very much dislike reminiscing about that day. I wish I would be lucky enough to be the kind of person to forget tragic events, but unfortunately, I am not. I slowly uncovered my face and sat up. I looked around room it was bare desk, TV, bed, and dresser that is it nothing else. As a kid I had pictures of me, ones of my dad and me. Shortly after his death, I went into a fit of rage tore them all down off the walls and ripped them into pieces. I was angry; angry at him for leaving; angry that my mom's heart had died with his. I took my phone out of my pocket and finally called Mark. One ring and he answered.

"Hello Miss Marlena. What can I do for you?" Mark said in his overly jolly voice. "I'm coming into volunteer at the shelter today so be prepared." I muttered. "Alrighty then! Wait…" Mark paused then continued. "Are you sure you want to come in today?" "Yeah, I'm sure…" I muttered. "Okay. Only if you are sure we all will understand if you do not want too. No hard feelings if you don't." Mark rambled on. "I'm positive, Okay?" I pushed. "Okay. See you soo-." I quickly hung up the phone before he could finish his sentence.

I did not want to him to bring up that todays the anniversary of my dads death. I stood up and walked to the door. As I placed my hand on the doorknob; I took a deep breath and closed my eyes shaking my head to uncloud my mind. I opened the door and forced myself out of it. No time to stall, I must get Christopher out the door for the bus. I am hoping that he is not crying any longer.

"Christopher?" I called. It took a few moments, but I heard the tapping of his feet in his light up shoes. His door opened. "Yes, Marlena?" He whispered. "Are you ready for school? Have you eaten?" I asked. "Yeah. I had cereal." Christopher said. I walked over and wrapped my arms his small body for a hug. A hug I know he need desperately. He always looks so sad on this particular day because he never really got the chance to remember our dad. The not knowing or remember has always been extremely hard for him. "Sorry..." was all I could say.