Chapter 13

I froze.

Aether pulled away quickly, gaze flicking between my eyes before he turned away from me.

My mouth opened and closed, wanting to say something but no words came out.

"Sorry." Aether said, cutting the silence in half.

I didn't answer him, and he lifted his head to look at me, a smile breaking out onto his face as he saw my expression.

I couldn't stop the smile breaking out onto my own face either, a chuckle escaping my lips as I thought of the absurdity of it all.

"I really do want to help you," Aether began, "You don't deserve any of this. But just say the word, and I'll leave you alone."

I needed to think about it, needed to weigh the pros and cons about in my head. I also needed to see Ares again and decipher if he really did want me, or if he was ready to drop me at the slightest inconvenience. I needed to see what my options were, I didn't just want to start severing the mate pull under the idea Ares wasn't fighting for me, I needed to know before I did that.

"I just need time, Aether." I explained.

Aether's expression hardened slightly, "You want to know if Ares will take you."

I didn't answer him.

"How long are you going to wait, May?" He queried, and I understood his point exactly.

But I couldn't exactly fight the mate pull, and my wolf would never let me start to weaken it without first having made absolutely sure Ares would never claim me, and even then, she'd still have hope that he would change his mind.

"I just want to think about it." I explained again, my voice quiet.

I had overwhelming thoughts about if I was making the right decision, were this would lead me in the future, but right now I just wanted to focus on where Ares and I stood - no matter how foolish it was.

Aether nodded, ending the conversation, and began to make his way to my bedroom door. I was itching to see Ares again, but it was still breakfast time and still hours before we could see each other at night, when everyone was asleep.

"I'll have my decision made in a week." I said to Aether as he left, my stomach grumbling as the door shut in front of me.

I slumped onto my bed and groaned, thinking back to the kiss me and Aether had just shared. It was fleeting and quick, and it left me feeling nothing more towards him and nothing less to Ares.

Truthfully, I had hoped my first kiss would be with my mate, so Ares, but after the mating ceremony that was looking less and less likely. It irked me to some degree that Aether had kissed me with no warning, without me permission, but I had pushed him over the edge with my questions about his past, so I should've seen his heightened state of emotions coming.

My stomach rumbled again, and I finally gave in, slipping on some comfortable clothes and leaving my apartment to hopefully get some breakfast before it was cleaned up. The chances of me seeing Ares were slim, as the Alphas either ate within their quarters or early on during breakfast when it was peak time, but I still threw on my hood over my hair and my gaze to the floor as I entered the hall.

It wasn't as full, which I liked, but there were still pack members milling about; cleaning up and chatting with friends. I made a beeline for the buffet table and began loading up my plate with food, my stomach growling louder as I anticipated eating.

It would be the first time in a while I would get to eat a full meal, and once again I was grateful for that night with Ares as it had turned around my appetite and brought it back.

I stacked my plate high and, satisfied with what I had picked, turned and began looking around to find a seat. There was a quiet corner next to a window that overlooked the gardens outside, so I made my way over to it, trying not to make eye contact with anyone as I walked.

The food was delicious, I thought to myself as I ate; I had definitely missed this. But then again, I wasn't the one to purposefully ruin my appetite. As I ate, I looked around the room, careful not to catch anyone's eyes but quietly observing and watching as they went about their day.

I wondered where my mother was; she always refused to eat with me in hopes of me finding friends my own age, but I had always found it hard to do that - especially since my father died.

My mother and I had retreated into our own world, not wanting to expand our bubble and just grieving between ourselves. It was quite sad, in hindsight, but it meant we were closer than most mothers and daughters and it allowed me to be more in tune with my wolf, rather than seek out the help of others.

I finished the last of my food but hesitated to get up; it had been so peaceful sitting here, not having to worry about anything but how I was going to stuff all the food on my plate in my mouth. I didn't want to go back to my room, at least not yet, I enjoyed the quiet ambiance of the hall when it wasn't so packed and overwhelming. I wanted to stay and relax some more, so I did.

Though it wasn't long before I reminded myself why I hesitated to come down in the first place.

-

It had turned to midday when I had finally put the book I was reading down on the table. I had quickly dashed to the library down the corridor from the pack dining hall to retrieve a book, not wanting my seat to be taken, and sprinted back whilst hoping I would not bump into Ares.

But for a while I had just been absent-mindedly turning the pages without even reading it, a nagging feeling at the back of my mind making it hard for me to concentrate. At first, I had just believed it to be the fact I had not read a book for a while, or that the book I was reading wasn't very interesting to me, but as the minutes ticked by, I began to grow restless in my seat.

As I realised what was going on; a surge in the mate pull throughout my body that was an indication my mate was near me, the feelings decided to subside and Ares, as well as Riven, walked into the room.

I panicked and lowered my head, thankful I chose this place to sit as I was essentially shielded from their view by the large chairs that flanked the area.

I wanted to run, to make a beeline for the exit, scared to see what Ares would do in the presence of the pack, but in the absence of me, but they were still standing in front of the exit and there was no other way out.

Ares probably already knew I was in here, or at least, had an idea I had been in here at some point in the last hour, but made no move to look around for me.

I watched as they sidled around the remaining few pack members, greeting and chatting with them, establishing a rapport and softening their wolves.

I wanted to move but I was stuck in place; watching them was like eating the forbidden fruit. I knew I shouldn't have been doing it, it would only sadden me and anger my wolf more, but the more I watched the more I just couldn't look away.

Riven and Ares were talking quietly to one another as they walked to the buffet table. I stared daggers into her back as she began plating food for herself, and I wondered why they were eating so late.

My stomach dropped at the thought of them having spent the night together, not having mated, as I would've felt that, but similar to how Ares and I did - getting to know each other, appeasing tension and staying in each other's embrace.

My wolf growled in my head, fuelled by my imagination, and wanted to go to Ares, but I wouldn't allow it. I also couldn't leave, though, as once I stood up Ares would surely realise I was there, which would make him hyperfocus on me, which would draw Riven's attention, which in turn would make my wolf angrier.

I just had to sit tight until they left, biting my lips anxiously and watching them with curious and suspicious eyes to make sure they didn't do anything too intimate. It would be the ultimate test for Ares, showing me that while I was not there, he was doing his best to keep at an arm's length from Riven.

I felt somewhat foolish watching them like this, like a child being punished and watching her friends play enviously. But my wolf did well to remind me that Ares was in fact my true mate, not Riven's true mate, and I had the right to look at him whenever I so wished too.

Ares and Riven sat down quite a distance away from me, and I watched eagerly as they began eating. The other pack members in the hall, though small, watched too, although I suspected it was mainly their wolves by the way their eyes began to darken. It was to see if Alpha Warren's words were true - if they really were going to be mated together, because if so, it would change the course of mate ship for our pack. Once the own Alpha's son was allowed to reject his true mate for another, it meant others could, under different circumstances, use it as an excuse to do the same.

This is why the sacred tradition of true mates needed to be upholded, and I wasn't just being biased; the Moon gave each wolf his or her own mate, one that is perfectly crafted to their personality and wolf, one that matches the strength and vigour of their wolf, and one that compliments them.

It was a small noise that brought me out of my brooding thoughts, my eyes automatically snapping over to Ares and Riven, still eating. Though Riven was giggling at something Ares said, gently nudging him.

My eyes narrowed and I watched as Ares lifted a spoon of food and began to feed Riven off his plate, a low growl escaping my lips at the sight.

The pack would be satisfied with that; word spreading of the gesture quickly like wildfire. It was a small thing, but it meant so much - a male feeding his female, especially off his own plate, it was the ultimate show of mate ship, at least to some.

It should have been me over there with Ares, should have been me eating that spoon of food with a stupid grin on my face.

He wasn't even making an effort to distance himself from Riven, in fact, it seemed he had grown closer to her since the last time I had seen them together. I understood his predicament in having to obey his father and appease the pack, but he also had a duty to me as his mate to make sure I would not be left behind - as he so promised I wouldn't be.

The rage was beginning to bubble up within me, and soon it would overflow. I needed a way to release in a safe way, one that would not end in the bloodshed of Riven.

I thought to Aether, his proposal, how the strengthening of my body would weaken the mate pull - but it would also provide a release for my emotions. It saddened me, but it all made sense, I needed to begin it or something bad would surely happen if I saw something like this again.

Without thinking, I stood up. I needed to find Aether and agree to let him train me, I needed to get out of here and get that image of Ares feeding Riven out of my mind.

As I walked across the hall, I couldn't stop myself from looking over to them. Riven wasn't paying attention to the girl walking towards the exit, but Ares was.

We made eye contact, he wanted to say something, but he shut his mouth again, knowing he couldn't. I tore my eyes away from his and picked up my pace, wanting to leave quickly. He knew I had seen him feed Riven; he hadn't been sure I was in the room when he did it, but he knew now I was.

I hoped the guilt was eating him up and I hoped his wolf was angry at him. A part of me also hoped he would be waiting for me at our spot tonight, anxious to see if I would turn up, wanting desperately to reassure me it would be okay.

But I would not come, not tonight, I was too offended, too angry to think about that. He would just woo me with ideas about us in the future, the mate pull pushing its agenda on us until I forgave him, he slid me into his lap, and we talked all night until the sun came up once again.

How long would this cycle repeat itself?

I didn't want to think about that anymore, though, as I crossed the courtyard and the gardens to where I thought Aether would be residing.

It was a warm day, but despite that I kept my hoodie on, and my hands wrapped around my frame. I summoned my wolf to pick out his scent, letting her, reluctantly, lead me to where he would be.

It was a small luxury house, decorated in the rustic way many of the other pack houses were, and fit in very snugly at the far end of the residential section of the pack lands. I walked up to the door and knocked quietly, suddenly hoping that no one was home, and I could just turn away and leave.

But alas, fate was not on my side. The door opened and Aether greeted me, his expression one of slight surprise as he saw the no doubt pained look on my face.

He stepped aside without saying anything and let me walk in, shutting the door behind me and coming to stand in front of me.

"Are you okay, what happened?" He asked, a concerned look on his face.

I wanted to remain strong, wanted to seem like nothing could affect me, but it all went wrong. I began to explain what had happened and my emotions got the best of me, I burst into tears in front of him, stuttering over my words and hyperventilating like a child having a tantrum.

He immediately wrapped me in his arms, silently tracing circles in my back as he waited for me to calm down. I was a hiccupping mess, but I quietly told him what happened, not even caring that anyone who saw us now would definitely think something was going on between us.

"I understand why that would upset you, May. I did warn you that if you spent time with him, the mate pull would grow stronger, meaning your emotions would too at the sight of him." He said.

We had long since moved to one of the leather coaches that decorated the lounge of the home, sitting close to each other as I wiped away the last of my tears.

"I know. I know I should have listened to you..." I said, trailing off.

I was so thankful he was this understanding and open, that he knew where I was coming from, and he didn't turn me away at the door.

"I want to start training with you." I blurted out.

I watched his expression soften, then a smile broke out onto his face, and he chuckled.

"That was all it took, huh." He teased, and I shrugged my shoulders without offering an argument.

"Ares showed me now. I'm not even on his mind at all." I said to Aether.

He shook his head, though, unexpectedly. "Of course, you are, May. A mate cannot and will not ever be able to not think about their mate every second of every day."

I sighed but didn't say anything. Hoping his words would not make me change my mind.

"I'm not defending him, of course, I just want you to know that. Even with wolves who aren't mates, if they have a... special connection, they will begin to form a bond of their own." He said, clearing his throat a little.

I didn't say anything, truthfully, I wasn't really paying attention, just going over in my head what I had seen Ares do.

"I'll train you here, first." He began to explain, "And if you like it, you can move to my pack."

I nodded at him, suddenly hyperaware we were sitting extremely close to each other. But for once, I embraced it, still angered at the thought of Ares and Riven, hoping once again that I would somehow find peace in this impossible situation.