92 Good News, Everyone!

"I'm sorry." I cleared some wax out of my ear, "I must not have heard you correctly?"

"Not a problem, young Grunt." Professor X said with good cheer, "You will be starting at Bayville High School on Monday."

"You must be out of your mind." I shook my head, "I eat people."

"High School is a time full of youthful indiscretions, and the American High School system is more than capable of helping you buff out the rougher edges of your character." Charles assured me, "Why just recently a young girl was raped in a High School bathroom, and after her father was arrested and treated like a domestic terrorist for harassing the school board, the boy involved was quietly moved to a different school where the little scamp did it again. What a rapscallion. So you see, High School is the perfect place for you."

"So you want me to eat the rapists?" I raised a scaly eyebrow at him.

"Good God no!" he denied, "Obviously High Schools are fully capable of handling that kind of situation. Why else wouldn't they have gotten the police involved if they didn't have everything going swimmingly!"

"You are not someone who should be allowed around children." Jack told him bluntly.

"Nonsense." Professor X chuckled, "My best friend Alby runs a prestigious school in the UK and we agree completely. Equal intensity responses and appropriate punishments are icky."

"I suddenly feel the need to go to the UK and get a little boy out from a cupboard under the stairs before he grows up to name his son after two of the people who ruthlessly abused him throughout his life." I muttered.

"That was oddly specific and completely unrelated to me and my long friendship with Albus Dumbledore." Professor X stated, "Hmmm. Alby. Its a shame I couldn't tempt him to come live across the pond. We are so great together, but he loves bad boys and I love boy scouts and if we spend to much time together we start fighting over it. Such a silly thing to keep friends at a distance."

"Dafaq?" I questioned.

"Well, normally I wouldn't speak about this with one so young, but considering your long standing marriage with Jack and polygimous relationship with your concubines, I believe I can safely assume there are no virgin ears nearby." He grinned, "You see, I had my sexual awakening at a stage show in the late 1930's when I went to see Captain America perform. Good gods that man was a vision and stuffed into that tight little patriotic costume. I'd have spent all the money in the world on war bonds for fifteen minutes with him bent over a table. Mmmmhmmmm. Ever since then I have loved my men clean cut and tight."

"This whole conversation has been incredibly disturbing." Jack interrupted, "And I am an actual cannibal."

"Agreed." Kat nodded her head, "Have fun in High School, Grunt."

"If I have to go to High School then all of you do too."

"Excuse me." Jack snapped back at me, "I am thirty nine years old. There is no way in hell I am going to High School. It's your fault for being seventeen. Now go to your room and pack your school bag so the rest of us can laugh about it while sipping whisky."

"Fuck that noise." I denied, "Besides you three look like a pack of too tall teenagers, and none of us have graduated High School."

"Egads!" Professor X declared, "None of you have experienced the joys of High School? This cannot stand. I will have you all enrolled by the end of the night!" he blanked out for a few moments and then spoke, "I have alerted Storm to your predicament and she will be by to inform you poor deprived children of the miracle that is High School."

"I would like to bring up right now that we are all cannibals." Kat announced, "We eat people."

"Pish posh." Xavier scoffed, "High School will handle that."

"Maybe now would be a good time to change universes." Linda suggested.

"No." I denied, "It was all fun and games when it was Grunt going to High School and that means we now have four times the fun and games. We are all going to Bayville High School and will enjoy the full High School experience."

"Good man." Xavier nodded, "Nothing like High School, and High Schoolers…" he trailed off with a wistful look on his face.

We exited his office and huddled up.

"Is this guy a Skrull infiltrator who gets off on sending people to High School who really shouldn't be there?" I asked the team.

"Don't know what the fuck a Skrull is, but its not off the table." Jack nodded, "Guy hides his shit well, has to keep Logan away from it, but I'm another beast entirely. Man loves him some weed and mushrooms."

"Aliens and drugs aside, are we really going to High School?" Kat asked, "And not even some neat themed High School like Magic High School, or Super Hero High School."

"I for one am excited to experience something that normal people go through." Linda added her two cents.

"Don't take away from the experience for Linda with your bad attitude, Kat." I teased.

"I will fuck you into submission." Kat growled.

"We'll never make it to school on Monday." I grinned.

"Ahem." Storm interrupted, "Charles asked me to help you four get ready for school on Monday."

"Ah yeah." I grumbled, "I think we have a combined total of zero experience going to school between us."

"Then we best get started quickly." Storm responded, "Though I do have to ask. All the way till Monday? Really?"

"Why don't you join us later and find out for yourself." I offered.

"Another time perhaps." She stated as she turned and walked down the hallway, "Follow me please.

I had no problem doing that. Girl got an ass like the North Star.