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Masks and Mysteries

How dangerous would your curiosity take you? For Christina, it got her into something she couldn't get out of, although she wasn't sure if she ever wants to get out. Will she be able to solve the dark mysteries that lie within the walls of Bellarose Academy? Or will she spiral into darkness? It is your decision whether you want to follow along.

bent_tandalong ยท Fantasy
Not enough ratings
5 Chs

THE GAME IS AFOOT

That night, the nightmare ensued once more but this time it was more realistic. It's as if I went back on time. And it wasn't pleasant. I woke up drenched in sweat once again, cold air around me. It was still dark out. I tried going back to sleep but I couldn't, and also I didn't want to. I just layed there awake. I felt like I was going insane.

SEPT. 14.

The next day, Mrs. Raven said there was going to be an investigation and everyone that attended Kierra's stupid ass party was called into her office. I didn't go but then Kierra went to my dorm and called me, said that Mrs. Raven wanted to talk to me.

"You told her I was at your mess of a party?" I asked her, I could feel my anger coming up.

"She ASKED."

"I didn't want to be in your stupid fucking party anyway!" My voice was getting loud this time.

"If you didn't want to, why'd you say you'd be there?!"

"I- โ€ฆ." I couldn't say anything, it was like something was clogging my throat.

"What?!"

"Just..shut up god you are so annoying. I'm going to the principal's office"

I walked out of my dorm and slammed the door shut. Rage filling up inside me. But I didn't have the right to be mad, I still chose to go because I was too much of a coward to say no. I took a deep breath and headed to Mrs. Raven's office. ๐น๐‘ข๐‘๐‘˜ ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘–๐‘ . When I got outside the principal's office, I saw him againโ€ฆthat guy. We made eye contact again, but this time, he said something.

"Were you called to the principal's office too?"

"What do you think?"

"Okay? Sorry? Jeez, I was just asking"

"Who are you anyway?" My voice still sounded pissed from having to see Kierra's face.

"Alvaro, you?"

"You don't have to know"

"That seems unfair, I told you mine"

"Christina, happy?"

"I wouldn't say I'm thrilled."

"What are you even doing in Kierra's lame party? And why are you literally everywhere I go? Are you like a stalker or something"

"Calm down, I didn't even know who you were 2 minutes ago. And I could ask you the same question."

"I asked first bonehead"

"Keep the insults at a minimum hot face. A. I was in Kierra's because they invited the new students, and B. I just go to the roof to relax and look at birds"

๐‘†๐‘œ ๐ผ ๐‘ค๐‘Ž๐‘  ๐‘Ÿ๐‘–๐‘”โ„Ž๐‘ก, โ„Ž๐‘’ ๐‘–๐‘  ๐‘›๐‘’๐‘คโ€”๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘œ๐‘ข๐‘”โ„Ž ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘Ž๐‘ก ๐‘ค๐‘Ž๐‘  ๐‘œ๐‘๐‘ฃ๐‘–๐‘œ๐‘ข๐‘ .

"Birds? Okay weirdo.."

"Hey! Birds are very compassionate, loving, adorable, and one of the most interesting creatures one can ever encounter, do NOT slander them like that"

๐‘Šโ„Ž๐‘Ž๐‘ก ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘’ ๐‘“๐‘ข๐‘๐‘˜โ€ฆ.

"Okay? Sorry? Still a weirdo nonetheless"

"Yeah well you're a-aโ€ฆuhhhโ€ฆa very sad individual"

"You're pretty right on that"

"Shut up!"

"You sound like a child"

"Well you sound like a bully"

"AHEM"

Mrs. Raven said from behind.

๐น๐‘ข๐‘๐‘˜ ๐ผ'๐‘š ๐‘ ๐‘๐‘Ÿ๐‘’๐‘ค๐‘’๐‘‘, ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘Ž๐‘›๐‘˜๐‘  ๐‘›๐‘’๐‘ค ๐‘˜๐‘–๐‘‘

"Will the both of you stop bickering like untamed children and get in my office? NOW."

We both followed Mrs. Raven's orders and went inside her office. It still smelled like when I last came hereโ€”like freshly cut roses mixed with wine and candles, the walls were covered in a black luxurious floral wallpaper that looks like it's slowly rotting away.

"Soโ€ฆboth of you, why were you at Kierra's party? You do know that hosting, and attending an unsupervised event will cost you detentionโ€ฆsomething I'm sure you, Miss Santos, will not like riskingโ€ฆhmm?"

She looked at me, smirking, with those red, soulless eyes of hers, I've never really liked looking at them because something about them justโ€ฆ.makes my skin crawl.

"No..ma'am"

"Goodโ€ฆso you better tell me why you were there and you better give me a good reason."

"I-I..I..uhhโ€ฆ"

๐ท๐‘’๐‘’๐‘ ๐‘๐‘Ÿ๐‘’๐‘Ž๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘ โ€ฆ๐‘—๐‘ข๐‘ ๐‘ก ๐‘ขโ„Žโ„Žโ€ฆ๐‘ค๐‘Ž๐‘–๐‘กโ€“๐‘‡๐ธ๐ฟ๐ฟ ๐ป๐ธ๐‘… ๐‘Œ๐‘‚๐‘ˆ ๐‘Š๐ธ๐‘…๐ธ ๐น๐‘‚๐‘…๐ถ๐ธ๐ท ๐‘‡๐‘‚ ๐ต๐ธ ๐‘‡๐ป๐ธ๐‘…๐ธ!

"I WAS FORCED TO BE THERE!"

"Really?" she said, her voice filled that of suspicion.

"Yes, I didn't want to go b-butโ€ฆsomeone said it was a normalโ€ฆwelcoming party, no drinks involved or โ€ฆsomething"

"Still, it was an unsupervised event that almost risked everyone's life"

๐ท๐‘œ๐‘’๐‘  ๐‘ โ„Ž๐‘’ ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘–๐‘›๐‘˜ ๐ผ ๐‘๐‘œ๐‘œ๐‘Ÿ๐‘‘๐‘–๐‘›๐‘Ž๐‘ก๐‘’๐‘‘ ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘’ ๐‘๐‘Ž๐‘Ÿ๐‘ก๐‘ฆ? ๐‘Šโ„Ž๐‘Ž๐‘ก ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘’ โ„Ž๐‘’๐‘™๐‘™.

"I didn't know it was unsupervised-"

"Christina Asula Santos are you SERIOUSLY lying to me right now?!"

"Lying?! I'm not lying!"

"Then tell me why Kierra said you hosted it?"

๐พ๐‘–๐‘’๐‘Ÿ๐‘Ÿ๐‘Ž ๐‘๐‘™๐‘Ž๐‘š๐‘’๐‘‘ ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘–๐‘  ๐‘ โ„Ž๐‘–๐‘ก ๐‘œ๐‘› ๐‘š๐‘’?! ๐‘Šโ„Ž๐‘Ž๐‘ก ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘’ ๐‘Ž๐‘๐‘ ๐‘œ๐‘™๐‘ข๐‘ก๐‘’ ๐‘“๐‘ข๐‘๐‘˜! ๐น๐‘–๐‘Ÿ๐‘ ๐‘ก ๐ผ ๐‘”๐‘’๐‘ก ๐‘“๐‘œ๐‘Ÿ๐‘๐‘’๐‘‘ ๐‘ก๐‘œ ๐‘”๐‘œ ๐‘ก๐‘œ ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘–๐‘  ๐‘™๐‘Ž๐‘š๐‘’ ๐‘Ž๐‘ ๐‘  ๐‘๐‘Ž๐‘Ÿ๐‘ก๐‘ฆ ๐‘๐‘ฆ ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘–๐‘  ๐‘๐‘œ๐‘›๐‘’โ„Ž๐‘’๐‘Ž๐‘‘ ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘’๐‘› ๐‘ ๐‘’๐‘๐‘œ๐‘›๐‘‘๐‘™๐‘ฆ, ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘’ ๐‘ ๐‘’๐‘๐‘œ๐‘›๐‘‘ ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘’๐‘ฆ ๐‘”๐‘’๐‘ก ๐‘๐‘Ž๐‘ข๐‘”โ„Ž๐‘ก, ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘’๐‘ฆ ๐‘๐‘™๐‘Ž๐‘š๐‘’ ๐‘–๐‘ก ๐‘œ๐‘› ๐‘š๐‘’?! ๐‘‚โ„Žโ„Ž ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘’๐‘ฆ ๐‘Ž๐‘Ÿ๐‘’ ๐‘“๐‘ข๐‘๐‘˜๐ธ๐ท ๐‘คโ„Ž๐‘’๐‘› ๐ผ ๐‘™๐‘’๐‘Ž๐‘ฃ๐‘’ ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘–๐‘  ๐‘ โ„Ž๐‘–๐‘ก๐‘ก๐‘ฆ ๐‘œ๐‘“๐‘“๐‘–๐‘๐‘’.

"I DIDN'T! I REALLY DIDN'T!"

"She's right Mrs. Santos- I mean Mrs. Raven! I could say! Kierra was the one who hosted itโ€” she's the one who invited us!"

๐ท๐‘–๐‘‘ โ„Ž๐‘’ ๐‘—๐‘ข๐‘ ๐‘ก ๐‘‘๐‘œ ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘Ž๐‘ก? ๐ป๐‘ขโ„Žโ€ฆ๐‘คโ„Ž๐‘ฆ ๐‘ค๐‘œ๐‘ข๐‘™๐‘‘ โ„Ž๐‘’ ๐‘‘๐‘œ ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘Ž๐‘ก?

"Yes! Kierra hosted the party! They're just blaming this on me so you wouldn't get mad at them. I mean seriously Mrs. Raven, what made you think I could coordinate something like this? And, with all due respect ma'am, are you saying that you believe Kierra more than me? Someone who has been here since she was 5 years old? Surely you wouldn't"

"Hmmโ€ฆ"

She has a suspicious look on her face. I KNOW that she would never believe someone like Kierra over me, a loyal student and also one of the most reliable students (not really) in the school.

"I will be talking to Kierra and their parents about this. Thank you Christina."

๐‘‡โ„Ž๐‘Ž๐‘›๐‘˜ โ„Ž๐‘œ๐‘™๐‘ฆ ๐ฝ๐‘’๐‘ ๐‘ข๐‘ .

"Now what about you, Mr. Celestino. As a new student you should be wary of the rules of this school if you wish to have good grades. But since you are new and you were unbeknownst of the nature of this event, I'm letting you off with a warning. Do this a second time and you will get into troubleโ€ฆunderstood?"

"Yesโ€ฆ.ma'am" I could hear the fear in his voice.

We left the principal's office and stood outside of it.

"Trust me, Mrs. Raven can't kill you unless you give her a reason to do so. So stop shaking, I can hear your bones rattling, it's pathetic."

"Is that supposed to comfort me? Because I can tell you it is not working. That was the first time I've ever been sent to the principal'sโ€”I didn't even know the rules!"

"Your fault for not listening to the orientation."

"Who listens to orientation anyway?!"

๐ป๐‘’ ๐‘‘๐‘–๐‘‘ ๐‘š๐‘Ž๐‘˜๐‘’ ๐‘Ž ๐‘”๐‘œ๐‘œ๐‘‘ ๐‘๐‘œ๐‘–๐‘›๐‘ก ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘’๐‘Ÿ๐‘’.

"Calm down, she'll probably forget you or any of this ever happened in a week."

"I refuse to believe that"

"Okay? So..don't?"

"Yeah okay!"

"Oookay?"

๐ป๐‘’ ๐‘–๐‘  ๐‘ ๐‘œ ๐‘–๐‘›๐‘ ๐‘ข๐‘“๐‘“๐‘’๐‘Ÿ๐‘Ž๐‘๐‘™๐‘’.

"You know what Adrien, you can shut the fuck up and go find some birds in the roof. Stop being so annoying"

"MY NAME ISN'T ADRIEN ITS ALVARO!"

"Do I care? No, I do not"

"And plus, Christina, yeah! That's right! I remember your name-. For the record, I am not annoying you. You're literally the one going wherever I go."

"You are just straight up wrong on thatโ€”I have been here longer than it took your mom to file those adoption papers of yours."

"I'M NOT EVEN ADOPTED!"

"How would you know?"

"Shut up!"

"Leave me alone then!"

"Oh! you think I like bumping into your mean face? I don't."

"Bye. It was not nice meeting you." I turned my back and left. What a bozo.

He seemed like a good guy, maybe I was being too mean towards him but that didn't really matter at that moment. Kierra was all I could think of. ๐‘Šโ„Ž๐‘ฆ ๐‘ค๐‘œ๐‘ข๐‘™๐‘‘ ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘’๐‘ฆ ๐‘๐‘™๐‘Ž๐‘š๐‘’ ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘–๐‘  ๐‘Ž๐‘™๐‘™ ๐‘œ๐‘› ๐‘€๐ธ? ๐‘‡โ„Ž๐‘’ ๐‘Ž๐‘ข๐‘‘๐‘Ž๐‘๐‘–๐‘ก๐‘ฆ ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘’๐‘ฆ โ„Ž๐‘Ž๐‘‘โ€ฆthinking about them just made my blood boil even more so I tried thinking about other things likeโ€ฆthe party.

๐‘Šโ„Ž๐‘ฆ ๐‘ค๐‘œ๐‘ข๐‘™๐‘‘ ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘’๐‘ฆ ๐‘๐‘™๐‘Ž๐‘š๐‘’ ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘–๐‘  ๐‘Ž๐‘™๐‘™ ๐‘œ๐‘› ๐‘Šโ„Ž๐‘Ž๐‘ก ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘’ ๐‘Ž๐‘๐‘ก๐‘ข๐‘Ž๐‘™ ๐‘“๐‘ข๐‘๐‘˜ ๐‘ค๐‘Ž๐‘  ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘Ž๐‘ก ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘–๐‘›๐‘”? I thought. I still couldn't get the picture out of my head. ๐ผ ๐‘ค๐‘œ๐‘›๐‘‘๐‘’๐‘Ÿ โ„Ž๐‘œ๐‘ค โ„Ž๐‘’'๐‘  ๐‘๐‘’๐‘’๐‘› ๐‘‘๐‘œ๐‘–๐‘›๐‘”โ€ฆ๐‘–๐‘  โ„Ž๐‘’ ๐‘Ž๐‘™๐‘ ๐‘œ ๐‘ ๐‘ก๐‘Ÿ๐‘ข๐‘”๐‘”๐‘™๐‘–๐‘›๐‘” ๐‘™๐‘–๐‘˜๐‘’ ๐‘š๐‘’? ๐ถ๐‘Ž๐‘› โ„Ž๐‘’ ๐‘Ž๐‘™๐‘ ๐‘œ ๐‘›๐‘œ๐‘ก ๐‘”๐‘’๐‘ก ๐‘–๐‘ก ๐‘œ๐‘ข๐‘ก ๐‘œ๐‘“ โ„Ž๐‘–๐‘  โ„Ž๐‘’๐‘Ž๐‘‘ ๐‘™๐‘–๐‘˜๐‘’ ๐ผ ๐‘‘๐‘œ? ๐ท๐‘œ๐‘’๐‘  โ„Ž๐‘’ ๐‘Ž๐‘™๐‘ ๐‘œ ๐‘ค๐‘Ž๐‘›๐‘ก ๐‘ก๐‘œ ๐‘˜๐‘›๐‘œ๐‘ค ๐‘คโ„Ž๐‘Ž๐‘ก ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘’ โ„Ž๐‘’๐‘™๐‘™ ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘Ž๐‘ก ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘–๐‘›๐‘” ๐‘ค๐‘Ž๐‘ ? ๐‘Šโ„Ž๐‘ฆ ๐‘Ž๐‘š ๐ผ ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘–๐‘›๐‘˜๐‘–๐‘›๐‘” ๐‘Ž๐‘๐‘œ๐‘ข๐‘ก ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘Ž๐‘ก ๐‘”๐‘ข๐‘ฆ? ๐ผ ๐‘ โ„Ž๐‘œ๐‘ข๐‘™๐‘‘ ๐‘ โ„Ž๐‘ข๐‘ก ๐‘ข๐‘.

But I did wonder if he's doing okay after seeing that hell of a scene at the party. I shrugged it off and went to the library, hoping to find Angel there. I arrived there and the strong feeling of nostalgia consumed me. I haven't been here in a long time. The library was where I usually hung out before, I used to love reading books. I don't know when or why I stopped going here so often but I liked being back.

"Christy? Hey!" Angel waving to me right next to the bookshelves.

"Hey Angel, have you been here all day?"

"I meanโ€ฆthere's not really much you can do in the dorms right?"

"Yeahโ€ฆtrue." I glanced at the books she was holdingโ€”it was one of my favorites growing up. "The Sundrop". A classic if I do say so myself.

"The Sundrop by Christopher Alfontรฉ, what a classic."

"YOU KNOW THIS TOO?" She replied excitedly.

"Yeah, one of my favorites growing up, my mom gave it to me as a gift when I was 6."

"THAT'S SO COOL! I have spent literal years trying to find this!" I saw her face beam up with joy, she looked like a little kid who had just gotten a new toy to play with. Adorable. I thought to myself.

"You go read that, I'm just going to find something here."

"Good luck with that!" I gave her a smile and she left shortly after.

I went to the zoology section of the libraryโ€”hoping to find whatever did the attack from last night's party. If no one's gonna try and figure out what happened, maybe I will. I'll be honest, I've never really cared about shit like this, I usually just minded my own business butโ€ฆsomething about this is justโ€ฆI can't explain it but it was strange and I couldn't ignore it. It was like..it's calling me towards it and I couldn't stop myself.

"I didn't know you liked animals that much." A girl's voice said behind me. I turned back to see who it was, it was a girl with long strawberry blonde hair tied up in a ponytail and golden nuggets for eyes. It was Ginnyโ€”Ginny Hansley. Her dad owns a pretty famous publishing house, and one of the smartest kids here in Bellarose (she competed in a ton of quiz bees and won like ยพ of it).

"I'm not," I replied.

"So what's with the stack of books then? Looks like you're gonna build a skyscraper with that. Do you need help or something?"

"Thanks for the offer- ugh- Ginny. B-but I'm fine." I said, clearly struggling with the amount of books I'm holding.

"Okay, but you seem like you really do need my help."

"Just leave me alone."

"Sorry? Sheesh you are so hot headed these days"

"Why does that concern you?"

"It doesn't- oh you have the book I need, do you mind?" she pointed at the mythological creatures book I'm holding (alongside the other books stacked on my hands right now). Not sure why a book on mythological creatures would be in the zoology section but I put the books down on the table and handed it to her.

"Are you doing a thesis on animals, Christina?"

"No."

"Okay soโ€ฆcare to explain what thisโ€ฆall of this is about?"

"I- I can't"

"Why not?"

"I just can't, okay?"

"Seriouslyโ€ฆ.maybe I can help out."

"Ginny, with all due respect, shut up."

"I'M JUST SAYING!"

"And I don't care! Why does this concern you so much?"

"BECAUSE I NEED HELP"

"....you could've just said that"

"You know meโ€ฆI'm supposed to be the one helping out, not the one asking for it."

"It's fine to ask for help when you need it โ€ฆ."

"Yeah butโ€ฆehh I don't know, just help me out here."

"Okay fine, what is it?"

"You were there at Kierra's party right?"

"....yeah, were you?"

"Yeah I was andโ€ฆ.I saw it."

"The what? Theโ€ฆbody?"

"Yeah, uhh that. And I'm here to find out what attacked Edmundโ€”it might kill other students too, I'm not sure Bellarose can sweep that under the rug this time. Are you here for that too?"

"Maybe, I just need to know if there's a way to avoid thisโ€ฆ.thing. What do you have so far?"

"Close to nothing, all I know is that it's definitely not the work of any animalโ€ฆ.soo" She glanced at the heaps of books I put on the table and made a face that said "those are useless". I glanced back at them and sighed.

"I'll go ahead and put these back, tell me the things you've found so far."

"Okay!"

After a while of me putting back the books I didn't actually need and Ginny telling me what she found from the mythological creatures book. At first we thought it was a wendigo, maybe an aswang, or even a chupacabra. But none of these seem to match with the way the body was attacked. It was a dead end for us and we were tired from always flipping through the same pages over and over again. We came to the conclusion that maybe it was an animal, probably one we've never heard of before, like an extinct one or possibly even a dinosaur. Whatever it was, we couldn't figure it out and it was getting late. I told Ginny I'd just go back tomorrow and we should just let it rest and she agreed.

I hurried to the roof to finally relax and breathe and when I got there, surprise surprise, there he was, standing in his usual spot, looking up to the sky.

"Hey Avery," I said.

"For the second time, it's Alvaro."

"Whateverโ€ฆ"

"Meanie."

"Child-like."

"Let's stop insulting each other, can we?"

"You started it."

"Does it look like I care?"

"Huhโ€ฆ.not really"

"Exactly"

"....so, how wasโ€ฆtheโ€ฆum"

"The what?"

"The you knowโ€ฆparty?"

"Oh you mean the absolute mess of a body we saw right next to Kierra's place?"

"Yeahโ€ฆthat"

"Pretty shit, not gonna lie. Everytime I close my eyes, I still see that guy's face."

"Same here."

"I've been trying to figure out what that thing was, but it's like nothing I've ever seen before."

"I think that's a given already"

"Yeah yeah, whateverโ€ฆ""Me and Ginny did do some digging earlier at the library"

"You guys dug the place?"

"Haha, very funny Alexander. No we did not dig the place, we did some research, jesus"

"Just tryna lighten up the mood, you look so grumpy all the time. Sooโ€ฆwhat did you guys find?"

"Pretty much nothing."

"Great."

"Oh please-"

"Just shut up and admire the sunset Carlos"

"Carlos?!"

"Sorryโ€ฆwhat was your name again? Charlie? Chloe? Cheryl? Yeah you seem like a Cheryl."

"It's CHRISTINA"

"Ohhh did you say Christopher? Yeah, hi Christopher!"

"Please shut the fuck up, Alvaro"

"HA! There! You said my name!"

"Har har"

We both laughed a little. I'll admit, maybe not being by myself all of the time wasn't soโ€ฆterrible. Hanging out with Angel and being there with Alfonso, I'd felt something I haven't felt in a long time. A warm feeling, I didn't know what it was at the time, all I knew is that I enjoyed it. I took a deep breath and let my mind free, I stopped thinking about everything that has happened for the last 2 days and justโ€ฆlive.

It was soon almost dark out and me and Alvaro said goodbye and we headed back to our dorms. ๐‘ƒโ„Ž๐‘’๐‘คโ€ฆ๐‘คโ„Ž๐‘Ž๐‘ก ๐‘Ž ๐‘‘๐‘Ž๐‘ฆ.. I took off my shoes and jumped face first on the bed. ๐‘Šโ„Ž๐‘’๐‘Ÿ๐‘’'๐‘  ๐ด๐‘›๐‘”๐‘’๐‘™?....I thought. She was usually here right before dusk. ๐ธโ„Žโ„Ž ๐‘ โ„Ž๐‘’'๐‘  ๐‘ ๐‘ก๐‘–๐‘™๐‘™ ๐‘๐‘Ÿ๐‘œ๐‘๐‘Ž๐‘๐‘™๐‘ฆ ๐‘–๐‘› ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘’ ๐‘™๐‘–๐‘๐‘Ÿ๐‘Ž๐‘Ÿ๐‘ฆ ๐‘‘๐‘œ๐‘–๐‘›๐‘”โ€ฆ๐‘ ๐‘œ๐‘š๐‘’๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘–๐‘›๐‘”, ๐‘คโ„Ž๐‘Ž๐‘ก๐‘’๐‘ฃ๐‘’๐‘Ÿ. I was drifting asleep, and eventually passed out on my bed. Letting my dreamsโ€”nightmares even, take over me once again, I braced myself for what's to come.