New Warriors and Avengers.

Andrew and Robbie sat in plastic lawn chairs under the gentle sunlight, watching Spider-man awkwardly stand in front of the four new recruits, on an empty football field.

"Hey, so why aren't you heading back?" Robbie asked sipping his beer.

"I will, but I just laughed at three calamities, who were saved by a bunch of idiots. So I'm gonnna give it a day or two before I head home."

"Smart move." Robbie said nodding.

"So, he's not really good at this is he?"

"Christ, I'm getting old if we're being put into training roles, and yeah Peter is what you would call a lone wolf."

"He seems like a pretty good team player."

"No, that's not the term I'm looking for....he's....I got it...Leader adjacent."

"Leader adjacent?" Andrew asked.

"Yeah, the guy who stands next to a leader and can relay an order, but tell him to make one and he'll crack."

"Hmmm...well it's not like any of us can train those four. Our power sets are completely different. Unless...does Peter have an ego to be the only one of his kind?"

"You mean to be the best? Dude, look at his girlfriends, the man is playing vagina bingo."

Felicia slapped the back of Robbie's head, knocking him out of his lawn chair.

"He's been through a lot during his years as an Avenger, you two should know that better than anyone." Felicia said annoyed.

"Yeah, a lot of vagina." Robbie said.

Felicia delivered a swift kick, knocking Robbie to the ground with Andrew looking on stunned.

"Uh....is he going to be okay?"

"He has direct connection to a fallen angel inside of him. He'll live." She said sculling his beer bottle.

Spider-man approached Andrew as the four recruits stood around awkwardly.

"Uhh...hey man I know you put me in charge of them, but I don't know what I'm doing."

"I can see that. What have you tried to teach them?"

"What can I teach them? They already know how to use their web shooters to swing around. And most of them have the agile reflexes to dodge anything coming their way."

"Alright, I got you covered this one time. Follow me." Andrew said.

The two of them stood in front of the four recruits.

"Are you finally gonna teach us something?" Ghost Spider asked.

"Yep, Avenger teams tend to be diverse to make up for the lack of power sets. However you three have the same power sets as him, and you we're just working with, but you all lack one thing." Andrew said.

"Yep, you all lack one thing, and that thing is...." Spider-man said waiting for Andrew to speak.

"You really are leader adjacent." Andrew whispered.

"I'm not good at this stuff."

"You all lack team co-ordination and team combat skills. So your first test is to make Spider-man here give up, in a 4 on 1 match."

"Say what?" Spider-man said.

"First spider person to beat him takes his title of Spider-man. Which will make him Spider-man Jr."

"Hey! You can't do that!"

"You'll be fine. And you're free to come up with another test to teach them. Also don't think you can get out of this, now that I'm not acting director anymore, because I saw those texts to Ava." Andrew said with a coy smile.

"ALRIGHT MAGGOTS, GET READY FOR THE FIGHT OF YOUR LIVES!" Spider-man roared.

As Andrew was walking back to his chair, a portal appeared underneath his feet and he slipped through. The new recruits watched on shocked, with the other three watching on disinterested.

"Huh, guess Strange needed him for something." Spider-man shrugged.

"That's normal to you? He just disappeared!" Ghost Spider exclaimed.

"Eh, you get use to it after a while."

"How the hell do you even get use to just falling through the ground?" Ghost Spider exclaimed.

"That guy has been Director of S.H.I.E.L.D, found his true love, found his parents who he thought abandoned him at birth, killed an entire clan of secret, super powered ninjas *INHALES* melted a S.H.I.E.L.D base, brutalised the biggest supplier of X-suppressors, and roped into a battle royal for the gods. ALL that shit happened in less than a year, so you know, life is like a box of chocolates."

"WHAT THE F...

Andrew fell face first into the mansion.

"Ow."

"That's one of your favours done Daisy. Two more and we're even." Dr. Strange said looking through the portal.

"Yeah, yeah." Daisy said swatting him away.

Andrew rolled over looking at the five girls glaring down at him.

"Can I ask why I was..."

Each of them took a glass box out with a large tarantula in it and Andrew took a deep gulp.

"We don't want to hear a single thing about it." Daisy growled.

"No jokes, puns, remarks, comments. Anything related to our last mission and we put these down your pants." Kate said sternly.

Andrew held back a smile his lips contorting up.

"NO SMILING EITHER!" Laura shouted.

Andrew tucked his lips in, his body struggling to hold back the laughter, letting a small whimper.

"I would just like to say....I'm glad you're all safe...mmmm." Andrew said struggling to not laugh.

The five girls opened the tops of the glass boxes.

"So why don't you all tell me what happened? I want to know how...how three calamities...AHAHAH F**K IT JUST GIVE ME THE SPIDERS! YOU ALL GOT SAVED BY FIVE IDIOTS!"

The girls pinned him down dropping the spiders on him, Andrew let out screams of terror mixed with maniacal laughter. A few minutes passed and Andrew sat on the chair twitching, but still giggling to himself, with the five girls glaring at him from the couch.

"Hehehehe...you girls got saved by idiots."

"It's not like that!" Noriko yelled.

"Okay...all jokes aside, why don't you tell me exactly what happened, and maybe I won't laugh as hard."

"Alright, so what happened was, we went in to deal with A.I.M and that M.O.D.O.K." Colleen said.

"What exactly was M.O.D.O.K?"

"Oh, he was this guy who's brain got enlarged, but his body was really small so they put him into this chair, and...."

"BWAHAHAHAHA, YOU GUYS LOST TO THAT THING? OH SHIT HE LOOKS LIKE KRANG FROM TMNT!" Andrew shouted pointing at the screen.

"We didn't fight..."

"AHAHAHAHAHAH!"

A picture of a man with a gigantic bulbous head sat in golden throne, his skin grey and wrinkly. Andrew fell out of his chair clutching his stomach, with the girls scowling down at him.

"I say we tell him what happened after we dump more spiders on him." Colleen said.

"Agreed."

*Two days ago*

Samurai angrily stood next to Trailblazer, Wolverine stood next to B-Negative crossing her arms, Surge stood next to Screen-Time looking at him annoyed, Hawkeye stood next to Safespace, and Quake stood next to Snowflake.

"Alright we got our pairs, and the security seems pretty lax, which means they aren't expecting company. Stay in pairs, and remember we're to simply destroy something called M.O.D.O.K, so avoid unnecessary fights. Got it?" Quake said.

The four girls gave out unenthusiastic cheers, with New Warriors giddy and filled with excitement.

"Alright, we have five pairs, so we'll do the classic blitzkrieg breach. You four will take the North, East, South, and West entrances. Snowflake and I will enter from above and catch them off by surprise."

"I call south entrance." Trailblazer said excitedly.

"But that's the furthest one from our location." Samurai said.

"I know it will be fun running there."

"If you enjoyed running you wouldn't look like that." Hawkins remarked.

The five girls all looked away pretending to not hear Hawkins. The five pairs moved into location, waiting for Quake and Snowflake to enter. Samurai frowned at Trailblazer, who was huffing and rummaging through her back pack for a candy bar.

"Maybe...you should eat after the mission."

"Are you fat shaming me?"

"Never mind."

"Alright everyone we're breaching in 3...2...1...go!" Quake said, propelling herself and Snowflake into the air and dropping through the roof of the facility.

The breach was completely silent as the five pairs entered the facility. Quake saw two guards wearing their comically large bright yellow hazmat suits. As she tried to pull Snowflake away, she ran up grabbing one of the guards by the genitals from behind. Quake tilted her looking at it confused, when the guard let out a blood curdling scream, and Snowflake ripped his frozen genitals off.

"WHAT THE F**K!"

Quake and the other guard screamed, as the other guard fell to the ground with his entrails falling out. Snowflake grabbed the other guard's gentials but he was quickly blown away by Quake. She quickly grabbed Snowflake pulling her into a corner with bulging eyes.

"WHY THE F**K IS YOUR GO TO MOVE BALL RIPPING?"

"SHHH! We're trying to be stealthy!"

"YOU SHHH. YOU JUST RIPPED THAT GUYS BALLS OFF!"

"What's the big deal? He died fast."

"He...help...me..." The guard said on the ground.

Quake threw her head back shaking it in disbelief.

"NO! NO YOU DID NOT KILL HIM FAST!"

Quake knelt beside the man, with tears streaming down his face.

"Does...Does it look bad?" The man asked coughing out blood.

"Uhhh....."

The guard's eyes rolled up and he went lifeless.

Quake stood up pointing her finger into Snowflake's face.

"You will never do that again. Understood? I will never watch you Sub-Zero fatality a man's balls off again. Am I understood?"

"Okay. God. Let's just go already."

"What the f**k is wrong her?" Quake whispered.

Hawkeye and Safespace made their way through the cargo boxes silently and swiftly, when they entered into an open area, with several guards looking around.

"Hang on, we need to wait for an opening, and I'll take them out. Then we can cross" Hawkeye said.

"Don't worry, I'll create a barrier for us to walk past."

"Ok sure, you do that.... Wait, don't you make a super visible pink barrier...."

Hawkeye stared on stunned, as a gigantic translucent pink barrier was erected from their location to the next cargo crate. Safespace waved Hawkeye over standing behind the barrier, with the A.I.M guards all looking at the barrier tilting their heads.

"What are you waiting for? They're going to know we're here." Safespace whispered.

"Are you f**king kidding me?" Hawkeye growled.

She felt the cold barrel of a rifle poke the back of her head.

"You're coming with us."

"Yeahhhh, yeah that's fair." She sighed.

Hawkeye nodded dropping her bow and raising her hands, and the guards tore through the barrier with a gentle poke. Safespace and Hawkeye were escorted at gun point, when he scoffed at her.

"We got caught, because you didn't move fast enough."

"You can let him go, he' no threat to you." Hawkeye said to one of the guards.

"I am a threat. YOU HAVE NICE EYES!" Safespace shouted.

A pink barrier formed between him and the guard.

"Aww, thanks man. No one ever compliments me. I really needed that today."

"Oh my god you're power is so f**king worthless!" Hawkeye said rolling her eyes.

The barrier shattered, and the guards all shared a look with each other, before one of them escorted Safespace outside. Surge and Screen-Time were still outside the complex. She angrily glared at him from behind, as he stared at his phone.

"Their security is incredibly tight, give me 20 more minutes and I'll take control of that camera."

"I am going to shove that phone up your damn ass, if you lie to me one more time about how fast you can 'hack' things." Surge growled.

"Well how would you get past that security camera?"

Surge peaked around the corner firing a bolt of lightning destroying the camera.

"Like that. With actual powers I trained. Not from an online course of coding. Now let's go."

The two of them entered through the door to see a firing squad of guards in their yellow suits pointing their guns at them.

"Jesus took you long enough to enter." One of the guards said.

"How did you even know we were coming in this way?" Screen-Time asked.

"We saw you on the camera, and had like half an hour to mobilise everyone."

"Yeah I even had time to finish my lunch break." Another guard said.

"Stay back Surge, I'll hack their suits and...EEEE!" A jolt of electricity ran down his spine and he fell to the ground.

Surge slowly face palmed, with the guards looking at her confused.

"Just...just take me in and get me away from him. Please, just I can't....I can't deal with him."

One of the guards dragged Screen-Time outside the base, leaning him against the fence and placed the top of his hazmat suit on him.

"Sorry we don't have too much shade outside the base, hopefully this helps." The guard said leaving him a bottle of water.

Wolverine and B-negative slowly crept through the hallways, seeing two guards stand in the corridor.

"Don't worry I got this. I'll hypnotise them and we'll sneak right past." B-negative said.

"You'll what!?" Wolverine whispered.

"It's one of my vampire powers."

"I f**king doubt that!" She whispered.

B-negative slowly crept in.

"So what are the plans for the weekend?"

"Eh, probably bum around till we're back doing this again."

"Yeah not much to do on the weekends when we're trapped in this plant aye?"

As the guards conversed, B-Negative slowly crept up behind them, with Wolverine waving him back angrily.

"No idea, but I can't see or hear shit out of these things. Like I have no peripheral vision what so ever."

"I know right. The amount of times I've walked into random things sticking out and just banged my leg up."

B-negative waved his hands around the two guards and turned back to Wolverine giving her a thumbs up and a smile, clapping his hands together. She ducked down noticing the guards didn't react.

"I'll be damned, he can hypnotise them." Wolverine said astonished.

"The sound proofing in these things is nice when we use the radio."

"Yeah, it's pretty damn crisp for standard radios, can't hear a thing outside though."

"Who cares, it's not like anyone sneaks into this place. Why would you?"

B-Negative and Wolverine crouched past the two guards, when they came into their vision, and the guards shared a glance.

"Do you see a weird gay vampire and Wolverine duck walking right now?"

"Yep."

"Good, thought I was going crazy."

The two of them slowly walked behind the two of them and used their guns to butt the back of their heads, knocking them unconscious.

"What the f**k were they thinking?"

"No idea, but I know for a fact, M.O.D.O.K wants nothing with Bella's lover here. I'll drag him out."

"Was...was that a Twilight reference?"

"How do you know that was a Twilight reference?"

"Touché."

Samurai and Trailblazer stood at the south entrance staring at a large concrete wall.

"Alright, I can get us in, just stand back and..."

"I GOT THIS!" Trailblazer shouted.

She leapt at the wall, crashing through it, with Samurai frozen in place. She peered in to see Trailblazer lying on the floor clutching her side.

"Are you hurt?"

"I have a stitch!"

Samurai rolled her eyes, walking in after her.

"We were meant to be going in silently." Samurai growled.

"But you aren't strong enough to break through that wall."

Her eye twitched, and she took a deep breath.

"Let's just kill this thing and move on."

"Ohohoho, what exactly would you be here to kill?" A shrill man said.

Samurai pulled her katana out, lowering her stance. When a floating head came out in a golden throne, with a giant red bad on his head, holding Quake over his lap.

"What the f**k." Samurai said.

"I am M.O.D.O.K!" He proclaimed with his shrill voice.

Trailblazer rolled over clutching her side, and limping over to him and grabbed his floating chair.

"Wh..what is happening right? What is she doing?" M.O.D.O.K asked confused.

"I will...haaaa..destroy you..."

"Is she hyperglycaemic? She doesn't look too good." M.O.D.O.K asked concerned.

Trailblazer fell to her knees leaning on M.O.D.O.K's chair, breathing heavily and drenched in sweat.

"Aren't you her teammate? Shouldn't you be helping her?" He said helping her up.

"Team mate is a strong word. More work associates?" Samurai said.

"Well, I have one of my guards get her something, she does not look well. Now where was I."

"You said your name and then..."

"Oh right, right. I AM, should I start from the beginning or just continue?"

"Think you just continue." Samurai said.

"A Mental Organism Designed Only for Killing."

"Wouldn't that make you M.O.D.O.F.K?"

"THAT'S WHAT I TOLD THOSE DAMN SCIENTIST!" He said angrily slapping his chair.

"Are you actually evil?" Samurai asked lowering her katana.

"Of course I am. Didn't you hear my name and I'm holding one of your team mates on my lap right now. She'll be my concubine."

"Ehhhh, I mean most villains don't care for a random person, health and well being."

"What do you know of villainy?"

Samurai took a deep breath.

"My real dad, tried to have me executed at the age of 10 after he took away my adoptive parents, and then after 15 years of no parents. He kidnapped me to become the vessel for a demon."

"Oh damn that's evil." He said shocked.

"Yeah, so I don't really believe you're evil, and I'm gonna leave with my team."

"Hey I'm evil! TAKE THIS..." His headband lit up with crimson light.

"Sit." Samurai growled glaring at him.

M.O.D.O.K froze in place seeing a large white dragon coiled around her, snarling back at him.

"Yeah...yeah take your team, I'll let my men know." He said nervously taking a deep gulp.

"Good, now I'm sorry to have wasted your time, but destroying A.I.M doesn't seem worth it." Samurai said.

"Why would you come to kill me? If you were after A.I.M?" he said.

"You're...you're not A.I.M?"

"We're a rebel faction of them. I put my men in hazmat suits to protect their identities and the potential chemical hazards of this place. The real A.I.M are monsters! Look at what they did to me."

"I mean the transformation doesn't look that drama..."

"I use to look like this." He said taking out a photo.

"Oh damn! Now that's evil." Samurai said looking at the photo of the male model.

"The real leader of A.I.M is this crazy bitch named..."

The concrete wall was completely blown away, and a woman wearing gold and green lab coat stood in front of them, surrounded by heavily armed men.

"Dr. Monica Rappaccini is my name." She said smiling at M.O.D.O.K.

She held a circular disc in her hand.

"Hello M.O.D.O.K it's time to come home and you can bring your new friends with you."

Samurai tried to draw her sword, when the disc in her hand began to resonate and the two of them fell down screaming before falling unconscious.

"Grab the Avengers and M.O.D.O.K" She ordered.

"What about the New Warriors?" one of the men asked.

She pulled a gun out of her lab coat and shot the man in the head.

"Anyone else got a dumb question?"

The men shook their head and quickly rounded them up. The others were shortly rounded up, being knocked unconscious by the resonating disc, and carted off. The New Warriors all rendezvoused at the Quinjet, huffing and puff.

"Where are the Avengers? I have lost their signals." Hawkins said.

"That crazy army came in and took them. We have to get out of here." Screen-Time exclaimed.

"Please quickly enter, we will stage their rescue."

"What!?" They all exclaimed.

"There are three calamity in their ranks, should you free one of them, they can escape. Now board among the ship now, or I will fly off and leave you to die in this desert." Hawkins said.

The five of them slowly boarded the Quinjet which took off at high speeds, they slammed into the wall, all screaming out in pain. Samurai woke up first, encased in metal beside the other girls still sleeping, with M.O.D.O.K being hung upside down in front of her.

"What the hell happened to us?" She asked.

"Uh well, you've all been captured. Obviously."

"Okay, where the hell are we? And why can't I break out of this thing?"

"If I had to take a guess, that thing is made from stolen Vibranium. So we're in here for the long haul."

"Why are you hanging upside down?"

"Oh, my enlarged brain needs a large supply of blood, but my heart isn't strong enough without the suit to provide it,so..."

"This isn't your first time being caught is it?" She asked.

"Nope. I'm just hoping my men got out okay."

"Why are you calling yourself evil? You are clearly a good person."

"Well I wanted to scare people away from attacking us so repurposed my name into..."

"M.O.D.O.K with a K, when your real name is M.O.D.O.C with a C. I mean very creative to change Mental Organism Designed Only for Computing to killing." Dr. Monica Rappaccini said sarcastically.

"What the hell do you want from us?" Samurai asked.

"I originally only wanted my little computer back, but then I found five super powered Avengers to experiment on. So we'll just start with taking a sample."

"I would not do that." Hawkeye said groggily shaking her head.

"Oh? And why wouldn't I want to do that?"

"You don't wave a red flag in front of a bull and you don't poke a dragon with a needle."

"Needle? What needle?" Samurai asked nervously.

"Oh, please I stole that hunk of Vibranium, and so long as there is a steady stream of X-suppressor in those three, nothing bad is going to happen." Dr. Monica Rappaccini said taking out a long syringe.

Samurai's eyes bulged as she desperately tried to free herself.

"Don't say I didn't warn you."

The syringe pierced her skin and she let out a loud yelp, trying to bite her, before passing out.

"Seesh, what kind of Avenger can't handle needles?"

"Count yourself lucky, if her fiancé saw what you just did to her. He'd probably kill you ten different ways."

"How are you so cocky? You are the only human on this team, and if you really think those stupid children playing hero are going to rescue you. You're entire team is captured, who do you think will come and save you?"

"Hawkins, our last team member." Hawkeye said with a smile.

"Who the f**k is Hawkins?"

A loud crash echoed throughout the facility filled, with a violent rumble.

"What the f**k was that?"

"WE'RE UNDER ATTACK FROM A QUINJET!" A soldier screamed from outside the room.

"This is a highly secure facility! How can one Quinjet rip through our base?"

Another explosion rumbled the whole building, Hawkeye gave the Doctor a smug smile.

"That doesn't change a thing, you're still trapped..."

The New Warriors came in screaming at the top of their lungs, attacking Monica and brutalised her.

"Oh dear god no. I was expecting a S.H.I.E.L.D agent. HEY DOCTOR GET UP! I WANT TO BE RESCUED BY ANYONE ELSE!"

"We're here to rescue you guys."

"Nope. Get someone else." Hawkeye said.

"What the hell is wrong with you? They're here to save us!" M.O.D.O.K exclaimed.

"I refuse, bring someone else to save me." Hawkeye said.

"So as you see, they didn't save us. Hawkins did." Kate said.

"Wait. In your story, Daisy was already passed out? How did that happen?" Andrew asked.

"I uh...I had a stroke." Daisy said.

"Miss Johnson slipped on some ice created by Snowflake and hit her head." Hawkins elaborated.

"BWAHAHAHA YOU GOT KNOCKED OUT BY SNOWFLAKE!"

Daisy grabbed Andrew by the collar bringing him in close.

"You listen here you little shit. I am the strongest person in this room right now and I could..."

"Before you do anything to me, you should know I stumbled onto a certain video."

Daisy stood back taking a gulp.

"You're bluffing."

"Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. Uh-oh, you don't know?"

"Daisy what is he talking about?" The girls asked.

"NOTHING! On a completely unrelated note I am no longer angry at Andrew."

"Good. Now where was I? Oh right. AHAHAHAH YOU GOT KNOCKED OUT BY SNOWFLAKE!"

"Jesus, he's director for 2 weeks and he's already acting like Maria." Laura said.

"Who knows what secret he has on us?" Noriko said.

"Let's put more spiders on him." Kate said.

"Agreed, he could have anything on us." Laura said.

"Guys stop, that's my fiancé. I'm not going to drop more spiders on him."

"Put the spider on him, or we tell him your entire search history about tall guys doing things." Kate said.

"I'll go get the big hairy ones."