48 Chapter 48. Choice.

"League of Shadows?"

"It's the other side of the organization, one that will remain concealed from the world,"

Lily furrowed her brows in confusion. "Why does this League need to be hidden? What connection does it have with your project to help the students?"

Although she understood the significance of Severus's project, knowing it stemmed from his own painful childhood experiences, Lily admired his dedication and felt pride in his ambitious goals.

However, the inclusion of the League of Shadows in his plans left her intrigued yet uneasy, sensing a foreboding feeling surrounding its name.

Severus's tone shifted noticeably when he mentioned the League of Shadows, as if a shroud of emotional detachment enveloped his voice, making it harsher and quieter.

He carefully chose his words, knowing Lily's temperament and anticipating her passionate reaction if he were to reveal the truth outright.

He understood that she would be impulsive, driven by her desire to protect the innocent, but he also knew she might struggle to accept the necessity of the actions carried out by the League of Shadows.

"Tell me, Lily, what do you know about the war and the attacks from Voldemort's ranks?"

Lily's eyes widened, "Why are you asking me about a war that hasn't even begun and about Death Eaters, Sev? How does any of this relate to your group?" she asked, her confusion evident in her voice as she tried to understand the connection between the war and Severus's mysterious organization.

The air was thick with an impending sense of doom, even though the war had not yet erupted in full force.

Whispers of large-scale clashes between Death Eaters and the Ministry spread like wildfire, fueled by Voldemort's escalating attacks on muggles.

Each day, Lily read about these grim events in the Daily Prophet. Fear gnawed at her heart as she worried for the safety of her family, and sorrow gripped her soul for the innocent lives lost in these brutal attacks.

The callousness and cruelty displayed by Death Eaters left her disgusted and deeply saddened.

"Just answer me," Severus said with a solemn tone.

Lily sighed and replied, "I only know what I've read in the Daily Prophet and heard from fellow students, whose parents fell victim to Death Eater raids. Many muggle communities have suffered attacks."

Her knowledge of the actual horrors that transpired during these raids was limited to brief reports, yet she couldn't help but harbor a visceral revulsion for the despicable deeds committed by Death Eaters.

"Do you know what happens during these raids?" Severus probed further, his demeanor serious and resolute.

Lily looked to Narcissa for some semblance of understanding, hoping for insight into why Severus was fixated on this line of questioning.

But Narcissa remained impassive, seemingly unfazed by Severus's inquiries. It was evident that this was not the first time she had engaged in this discussion with him.

"They torture, kill, destroy property, rap-,"

Lily hesitated before uttering the last word, her voice tinged with distress. Recently, she had come across a harrowing account of a pureblood woman who had suffered the unspeakable at the hands of a Death Eater for refusing to join their ranks.

The mere thought of such depravity sent shivers down her spine and ignited a fierce desire to exact justice upon those responsible.

"Rape, and many other heinous things."

Severus somberly completed Lily's sentence.

He too was up to date with the recent event. He was happy to have opened his eyes to the horror he had managed to avoid by steering clear of the Death Eater's path. Grateful for his escape from that treacherous web.

"Yes, all those heinous acts. That's precisely why I wanted you to distance yourself from those Death Eater wannabes. I am relieved that you've severed ties with them. However, I must admit that I'm perplexed about why you've been asking me these troubling questions. What does it have to do with the League of Shadows you mentioned?"

Severus took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts as he prepared to disclose the truth.

"You see... the reason I've been associating with students from different houses and posing these questions is... I established the League of Shadows to put an end to the war," he revealed, his words hanging in the air as he awaited Lily's reaction.

A mix of emotions flickered across Lily's face – awe, admiration, and pride – as she absorbed Severus's goal of creating a group to combat the atrocities perpetrated by Voldemort's forces. Yet, as the initial positive thoughts settled, a dark realization washed over her. Starting a group against Voldemort meant confronting immense danger, with one possible consequence being death.

"No!"

Lily's voice rang out with conviction, her fear for Severus's safety eclipsing all other feelings.

"Huh?"

"No! You shouldn't start this group, Sev,"

"Why?"

"You know why. Death Eaters are cruel, ruthless, and vicious. If Voldemort learns that you dare to stand up against him, he will personally target you. He's exceptionally powerful and will not hesitate to end your life. I cannot bear the thought of losing you. Please, don't start this group,"

Lily pleaded with a mix of emotion and determination in her voice, her love for him shining through her words.

Severus heaved a sigh, fully comprehending Lily's concerns and understanding her fears.

"Tell me, Lily, if, in the future, you had the opportunity to stop the war, would you seize that chance or not?"

"Damn it! Yes, I would," she admitted, her emotions raw and unguarded. "But there's a crucial difference, Severus. That would be in the future after I've left Hogwarts. I'd make sure I'm skilled enough and have someone strong backing me, or I might join the Aurors. Leave it to the Ministry to handle it! They're better equipped for this."

"Calm down, Lily. I'm not finished yet. Just listen to me,"

Lily turned to Narcissa, her frustration apparent. "Why aren't you saying anything when he's clearly being obstinate?"

Narcissa sighed, her patience unwavering. "I tried, Evans, believe me, I did. But hear him out. He's put considerable thought into this plan, and he's more powerful than you think. Just calm down and listen."

Taking a deep breath, Lily finally composed herself, deciding to trust Narcissa's judgment. If she asserted that Severus was not placing himself in mortal danger, Lily would give him a chance to explain.

Severus delved deeper into his carefully crafted plan, detailing how he intended to weaken Voldemort's forces by cutting off their support.

He elucidated his choice of students and their roles, emphasizing that their work would be conducted in the shadows.

He shared his connections with the Muggle world, providing insight into the diverse skills required within the group.

Severus detailed the potential ramifications of joining his cause, including the possibility of taking lives in the future.

"I won't be confronting Voldemort directly, nor will I put any of my subordinates' lives on the line. But I can't guarantee that no lives will be lost on our side. However, my subordinates willingly accept the risks for this project and our cause. Some may be unable to take a life, and I understand that. Killing isn't our primary focus, Lily,"

Severus paused, his eyes shifting between the two girls who listened intently to his words.

"You see, many students, like me, join the Death Eaters without fully understanding the consequences. Resentment and external pressure often lead some purebloods to embrace Voldemort's cause. Through the League of Shadows, I aim to extend my reach and aid those who cannot be saved through my other project in the open. Each member of my shadowy group has a specific role to play, and I have never coerced anyone into joining. They willingly follow me, and I have given them the choice to leave, yet they choose to stay."

Lily remained silent throughout his explanation, her thoughts in tumult. Admirable as Severus's goals were, the concept of taking a life unsettled her deeply.

She knew she lacked the readiness to kill, both now and perhaps in the future. Nevertheless, she refrained from voicing her concerns, understanding that Severus had arrived at this conclusion after careful contemplation.

The weight of the thought of killing lingered in her mind, and she struggled to reconcile her beliefs with the disturbing realities she had witnessed about the Death Eaters' actions.

Nevertheless, she pushed those thoughts aside for the time being, unwilling to dwell on them at that moment.

Narcissa, on the other hand, felt her resolve to stand by Severus's side grow stronger. She appreciated the more detailed explanation he offered now, which had not been covered in their previous conversation.

The idea of assisting pureblood students held great appeal for her, as she knew that many were molded by their circumstances, and not all of them were cruel or blood supremacists. She empathized with her cousin Reg, who had been driven down a dark path.

Lily turned her attention to Narcissa, "Are you okay with this?"

Narcissa responded promptly, "Yes."

"*Sigh* I understand what you're trying to do, but how can you be so confident in your ability to take on those who follow Voldemort? They must be highly skilled wizards and witches. While you're undoubtedly one of the most talented students at Hogwarts, I'm not sure if you and your eight allies are powerful and experienced enough for this task. They'll need rigorous training, and you need someone with extensive experience to guide them. How do you plan on accomplishing that?"

Narcissa suppressed a knowing smirk, anticipating what Severus was about to reveal. She was certain that Lily would be taken aback.

Severus smirked mischievously and responded, "Your skepticism wounds me, Lily. Do you think I haven't considered that already? The League of Shadows isn't merely about assassination and recruitment. My shadows will undergo the best training, becoming experts rivaled by only a select few in the wizarding world. And I have found the best teacher for them."

"Who?"

"Me,"

I'm not joking, Sev. You seriously need someone with experience to train if you want to continue with this group of yours."

"Allow me to demonstrate my capabilities, Ms. Evans. I believe I'm up for the task," Severus said, a glint of mischievous in his eyes.

He snapped his fingers, conjuring a small flame above his fingertips. With a graceful upward movement of his hands, Lily's chair levitated, causing her to panic.

"Sev, put me down!" Lily exclaimed, her heart pounding.

Severus chuckled, his control evident as he gently lowered her back onto the ground.

"You see, I wasn't lying when I said I'd train my shadows. While I might not be the most powerful wizard, I'm confident in my abilities to equip them with nonverbal, wandless, elemental magic, and various other knowledge. I dedicate myself to improvement every single day."

"I don't know what to say, Sev. I'm so proud of you! You've achieved something even most seasoned wizards can't do," she exclaimed, her admiration evident in her cheerful tone.

"The surprise isn't over yet."

Severus took a deep breath and closed his eyes, channeling his powers to summon his shadow golem.

"I am sure you have heard about mutants, Lily."

As the enormous, 14-foot-tall figure materialized behind him, Lily's eyes widened in astonishment. She couldn't tear her gaze away, alternating her attention between Severus and the magnificent golem.

"Are... are you a mutant, Sev?" Lily finally managed to ask, her mind racing with thoughts of mutants and superheroes she had read about.

"Yes,"

"Wow, that... That's awesome!" Lily couldn't contain her enthusiasm and blurted out her awe. Rising from her chair, she approached the golem, inspecting it closely.

Severus and Narcissa exchanged amused glances, observing Lily's childlike fascination with the golem.

"Is your power to create golems, Sev?" Lily inquired, trying to comprehend the extent of his abilities.

"No, it is..." Severus explained some of his powers, detailing the various abilities he possessed.

Wow, you are really too overpowered. I am so jealous," she admitted, still in awe of his incredible capabilities.

Despite her admiration, she couldn't fully grasp the implications of his powers, particularly the aspect involving death, which bore a resemblance to Necromancy, though not precisely the same. She pondered whether these powers could be considered dark arts or not.

Narcissa finally posed the question that had been nagging at her. "Why did you ask us to join sooner, Severus? Why did you approach those eight before us? And why now? I don't believe Occlumency was the sole reason for your decision to confide in us."

Lily, equally curious, nodded in agreement, eager to understand the timing of Severus's revelations and his choice of allies.

Severus's voice was barely audible as he whispered, "I was afraid."

"Huh?"

"Huh? Can't hear you, Sev,"

"I was afraid," he repeated, his voice still low and filled with emotion.

Lily and Narcissa exchanged confused glances, both trying to understand what he meant.

"What were you afraid of, Sev?"

"I…..was afraid of hurting you both," he confessed, his words carrying a weight of vulnerability.

Narcissa's concern deepened. "Why do you feel that way, Severus? Where is this coming from?"

Severus hesitated, but then he explained in a low voice, "You asked me why I was sad when I returned? What made me change my ways? didn't you, Lily? You want to know why I fear that I would hurt you, don't you, Cissy?"

The bitterness in his voice was evident, leaving both Lily and Narcissa intrigued and worried.

"My mother died, Lily," Severus revealed, causing Lily's eyes to widen in shock, and tears began to stream down her cheeks.

Lily knew how much Severus loved his mother and the significance she held in his life.

The realization of his pain and grief-struck her deeply, leaving her feeling helpless. Without a second thought, she rose from her chair, walked over to Severus, and embraced him tightly, tears pouring from her eyes as well.

Having known Mrs. Snape, Lily understood the bond between mother and son. She couldn't imagine the immense pain Severus must have endured.

In that moment, she knew that mere words couldn't console him. All she could do was offer her presence and support, expressing her love and understanding through the comforting embrace.

"H...How?" she managed to choke out.

"My father killed her," Severus replied with a heavyweight in his voice, his pain palpable in those few words.

An uncontrollable rage surged through Lily's veins, her anger directed at Severus's cruel father. She couldn't fathom how someone could commit such a heinous act.

"That... fucking piece of shit....why....why did he do that?! That bastard deserves to die," she said through sobs, her emotions overwhelming her.

Her tears flowed freely, and she held Severus even tighter, pulling him closer as if to shield him from any further harm. At that moment, all she wanted was to ease his burden, to take away the pain he had endured.

She wished she could take away some of his misery, but all she could do was be there for him.

From a distance, Narcissa observed the scene with a mix of emotions. She saw that this time, Severus didn't carry the expression of hurt and guilt he had worn before.

It seemed as though he had come to terms with his loss and found some semblance of peace.

Severus held Lily in his arms, reciprocating her embrace as she wept, the rain of her tears pouring upon them both.

"He is dead, Lily. He was killed, I killed him," Severus revealed, his voice heavy with a sense of finality.

Lily's breath caught in her throat, her heart pounding loudly in her chest. She couldn't believe what she had just heard. Her best friend had taken a life, and it left her stunned, grappling with conflicting emotions.

Fear gripped her, not of Severus, but of her own mind. She struggled to accept that he had committed such an act, even though she knew the circumstances must have been dire.

Her own moral compass wavered for the first time as she wrestled with conflicting emotions. She didn't want to accept that her best friend had committed such an act.

Instead of questioning him about his actions, she cried harder, pulling him even closer. Her mind wrestled with the complexity of the situation, but her heart told her that he was still the same person she had known and cared for.

The weight of his pain and the burden of his actions weighed heavily on her, and she mourned both for his pain and for the turmoil in her own mind.

"Since that day, I've been plagued by nightmares, tormented by the sin I committed. When I started to love you, Narcissa, those nightmares intensified, haunted by the fear of hurting you and Lily. I dreaded becoming like my father, fearing that I might hurt both of you, so I kept you at a distance. I was afraid of the darkness within me, of what I might bec—"

Narcissa interjected by pulling him close into a comforting embrace and whispered soothingly, "You would never do that, Severus. You are not your father."

Lily's voice chimed in, her eyes locked with his, "Yes, Sev, you would never hurt me."

Severus nodded, relieved that they understood.

"It took me a long time to grasp that myself. Last night was the first time I slept without nightmares, so I decided to confess everything to you both. I'm willing to accept whatever judgment you pass on me."

Tears welled up in her eyes, and Lily spoke with empathy, "*Sniff* I don't have the right to judge you, Sev. I may not know the moral implications of your actions, but I'm glad he's finally out of your life."

"I already told you I'll be by your side forever, Severus."

They held each other, drawing comfort from their bond, until they eventually settled back into their chairs.

"Now that you know everything, what is your choice? Will you join me in this?"

"I find your lack of faith disturbing, Severus. As I said before, I'll follow you. I want to be part of the League of Shadows."

For Narcissa, it was a chance to help pureblood students like her and her cousin, to challenge their preconceived notions and beliefs, even if it meant using unconventional methods, if not outright violence, to awaken them to their errors.

Lily took a deep breath, composed herself, and responded, "I will follow you, Sev. I want to be in the League of Shadows."

Though she hesitated initially, Lily chose to stand alongside Severus to understand and learn why certain extreme measures, like killing, were deemed necessary in his plans.

She yearned to comprehend the complexities of his world and be a part of the project meant to aid students from their houses.

Severus smiled at them, a sense of relief evident in his expression.

"Alright then, starting tomorrow, meet me here every single day after dinner this week for your training," he instructed.

"Why just this week, Severus?"

"I'll be taking a leave of absence for about a month or so."

"Why, Sev?"

"I need to create the products for the muggle company I'm planning to launch. Waiting around in Hogwarts won't do. I intend to have my brand up and running by the start of next year."

As the significance of the time he required to invent these products dawned on Narcissa and Lily, they responded with understanding nods.

Severus went on to outline his vision of expanding a business in the muggle world, revealing his ambitious plans to them.

"Will we be trained alongside your shadows, Severus?"

"No," he replied with a hint of complexity in his voice, "I don't teach them everything, Cissy. They receive enough training to handle most Wizards and Witches. With you both, however, I'll be imparting much more—most of the knowledge and skills I possess. Your training will be far more rigorous than theirs."

Severus knew that while his shadows were loyal and dedicated to the common goal, he didn't believe in providing them with every piece of his expertise.

He trained them to be adept and adaptable in various situations, yet he reserved certain aspects for himself. Even if he were to reveal all, few, including Narcissa and Lily, would grasp their full complexity.

With Lily and Cissy, he wanted them to be equipped with the most skills and knowledge they can get since they are going to be by his side and wanted them to be able to protect themselves in any dangerous situation, so he will be most likely teach them almost everything he knows.

Lily and Narcissa understood that not everything is safe to be thought to others, even those who swore loyalty to him.

Lily approached Severus, her request tinged with hesitance, "Um... Sev... Can you lend me the books on chemistry, biology, and biochemistry?"

"Why?"

She paused before explaining, "Well... you know, we used to attend classes in the summer, and I completed my studies up to high school last year. Right now, I don't have any material on college subjects. But I want to help you, to be a part of that research team you want to assemble. I've been studying alongside you for the past 5 years, and you know what I'm capable of. This summer, I finished my muggle education and started learning some basic college syllabi. If I have any doubts, I can always ask you. I had already planned on joining a college after completing my Hogwarts studies; you know practical knowledge and experimentation are crucial in science."

Severus's face broke into a contented smile. This was the Lily he fell for—the one with both warmth and intelligence, deeply cherished in his heart.

Her desire to contribute to his research team, with her proficiency in both magic and science, made her a valuable addition.

"Alright, here," he responded, conjuring a stack of books in his hand, alongside a sizable suitcase.

With a hint of mystery, he continued, "I've already completed these books, and..." As he touched his hand to the wall, a book emerged from his shadow, causing a slight unease in Narcissa and Lily. He handed the shadow-emanated book to Lily, who peered at it curiously.

"These are my notes," Severus disclosed. "I've added detailed explanations, processes for chemical reactions, and their properties. I even noted any mistakes I made so that you can learn from them. And..." He pushed the suitcase towards Lily, "This suitcase contains most of the apparatus required for the study. Just break the size reduction charm I placed on them."

"Wow, Sev. You always come prepared for everything,"

"A Slytherin trait, uncommon among the lions."

Lily shot him a disapproving look at the remark, but instead of voicing her discontent, she delved into the contents of the suitcase.

Inside, she found vials, flasks, burners, a burette, and an assortment of chemicals. The interior seemed far more spacious than expected.

"Thank you, Sev,"

"You're welcome. But remember to use this suitcase only when you're truly alone or practicing here after practicing magic,"

"Uh-huh," Lily nodded in understanding.

Narcissa observed her two best friends engrossed in their muggle science discussion with a gentle smile. She didn't feel any envy or jealousy over their connection. Instead, she felt happy with the fact that Severus had someone to share his passion for muggle subjects.

Narcissa knew her own strengths lay in different areas—combat magic, management, and swords. She was resolute in becoming the finest combat witch and supporting Severus in his goals.

There was no need for her to feign interest in subjects she didn't fully grasp just to have something in common with him.

He can like what he wants, she likes what she wants.

"Both of you should stop your banter now; it's already getting late. We need to return to the Dorms," Narcissa reminded them, breaking their engrossing discussion.

Severus and Lily acquiesced, ending their conversation. As they prepared to leave, Severus advised, "Both of you should head back; I have a few things I need to take care of."

"Okay, but make sure you get some sleep, Severus," Cissy added.

Lily inquired, "Sev, does Mary know about the partnership between you and Mr. MacDonald?"

"No."

He instructed them not to mention anything related to his muggle industry to Mary.

Lily used the shrinking charm on the materials he had provided, deftly pocketing them for safekeeping.

Severus noticed the conflict within Lily but chose not to intrude on her thoughts. He understood that the revelations from today were heavy, and he wanted to give her the time she needed to come to terms with his secrets.

Lily decided to leave the room first, offering the couple some alone time.

As soon as she departed, Severus acted on his desire, crashing his lips onto Cissy's. His arms wrapped around her waist, drawing her closer.

Initially taken aback by the suddenness of the kiss, Cissy soon surrendered to the intensity of the moment, her arms finding their way around Severus's neck as the kiss deepened.

After a few electrifying seconds, they broke the kiss, their faces flushed with lust and passion.

"I've wanted to do that since the afternoon," Severus whispered.

Cissy's reply came in a low, breathless tone, "Me too," as she lost herself in the arousal of the moment.

Severus chuckled, but the seriousness returned to his voice, "You should leave, or I might just keep you here with me tonight."

As much as Cissy wanted to stay, she knew they shouldn't. "You're right; you have work that needs to be done,"

Severus sighed, a touch disappointed, but then a glimmer of excitement crossed his face.

"We can make the best of the night after Slughorn's party this Saturday," he suggested, a mischievous twinkle in his eye.

Cissy blushed at the implications of his words but replied with equal enthusiasm, "I will be waiting for it."