Chapter 4. Death.

"What have I done?"

As the weight of his actions bore down upon him, Severus found himself retreating into the corner of the room, his mind engulfed in a whirlwind of conflicting emotions.

The fear of a life confined within the walls of Azkaban gripped him tightly, threatening to suffocate any remnants of rationality.

Yet, there was a perverse satisfaction in knowing that he had finally exacted vengeance upon the man who had snuffed out his mother's life.

"No, It was the right thing to do. That wretched scum deserved to die in the most painful way. It was euphoric to see his mind break, unable to bear the pain."

"But now, my life is over. I shouldn't have used my wand, I should have just killed that scum with my own two hands. Now, I will forever be imprisoned in Azkaban. Never to see the light of the day."

"But If I join the Death Eaters, they will provide protection. Won't they? Yes, it is not over."

The grumbling of maddened Severus blurred the boundaries between sanity and madness, leaving him in a turbulent state of mind.

"NOOO!! Get a grip. Aurors might be arriving any time soon. I have to think straight and fast. I have to escape."

Desperate to find solace amidst the chaos, Severus summoned every ounce of strength he had left and sought refuge within the recesses of his mind.

With fierce determination, he forced himself to Occlude. The shields he erected were like a fortress, sealing away the raw turmoil within him and creating a facade of composure that belied the storm raging inside.

For a moment, the storm abated as Severus fought to regain control, but the strain of holding back his emotions threatened to unravel his fragile stability.

Behind the façade of calmness, Severus's mind churned, struggling to reconcile the irreparable damage this day had inflicted upon his own soul.

In that corner of the room, Severus battled against the maddening tempest within him, locked in a relentless struggle to find balance amid the chaos.

A profound sense of emptiness enveloped Severus, as if the tumultuous storm of hate, pain, and anguish that had consumed him had been cast into the depths of his mind.

He stood there, strangely serene and detached, feeling a newfound stillness within his being. It was an unfamiliar sensation—a calmness that seemed to have settled upon him amidst the chaos.

"Something feels... different," Severus murmured to himself, his voice barely a whisper. "Never before have I experienced such silence and tranquility within my mind while practicing Occlumency."

Unbeknownst to him, a subtle transformation had taken place. A hidden power, dormant and unknown, now runs through his veins.

It exudes an aura of darkness, like shadows dancing around him, waiting hungrily to be commanded at his will.

Severus sensed this newfound power, a force that had emerged from the depths of his being, yet he remained unaware of its full nature or its presence.

Summoning his inner strength, Severus gathered himself together, determined to maintain his composure.

He averted his gaze from his bloodied clothes, knowing that the sight could shatter the fragile semblance of sanity he clung to.

With measured steps, he approached the lifeless body of Tobias, the man who had brought untold suffering to his family.

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[Severus's POV]

I stood there, gazing at the lifeless body of the man I had just murdered. A surreal mix of emotions flooded my mind.

Never in my wildest dreams, had I imagined that I would be capable of taking someone's life.

Sectumsempra, the curse I had invented to inflict pain and suffering upon my enemies, had led me down this path. Yet, until now, I had lacked the courage to go as far as killing.

I had even created the countercurse, knowing that one day, if I joined the ranks of the Death Eaters, I might be required to take a life.

But I had never anticipated that this day would arrive so soon, staining my hands with blood.

Memories of the beatings and insults, endured by both my mother and myself, flooded my thoughts.

My mother, a woman who never backed down from my father's relentless assaults, would raise her wand, and he would cower like a coward. It was her resilience that kept me going all these years.

The battered body before me bore the marks of my relentless stabbing. I couldn't recall how long I had continued, but the cuts and wounds had torn his flesh apart, leaving him in a grotesque pool of his own blood.

Today, Occlumency has worked wonders for me. It allowed me to bury the overwhelming emotions deep within my mind, sealing them away behind a vial.

If not for this vile, the emotions would have consumed me, leaving me caged for life in the cold cells of Azkaban.

Though I could still sense the intensity of the emotions tied to the events that had unfolded, the irrationality and unchecked rage were gone.

A subtle difference in the Occlumency tugged at my consciousness. The Occlumency I had practiced before felt separate from this new state. There was something fundamentally different, something significantly different, about it.

It felt like a part of me, not just a skill I had learned. It was almost like an instinct, but I couldn't quite grasp its essence just yet.

Yet, this newfound control allowed me to think rationally, shielding my decisions from the sway of emotions.

Realizing the gravity of my current predicament, I made a mental note to delve deeper into understanding this difference at a later time.

"Ministry, they should have come to know, by now, that I used magic in the muggle area. They will most likely summon me to court and conduct an inquiry."

I don't know how much time I have left before Aurors come knocking on my door. I have to do something about these bodies.

After Auror, it would be muggle police. I don't know if anyone heard my mother's pleas before I arrived. No, if they heard, muggle police might already be here.

Both Aurors and police would inspect the house; if they even found a minute stain of blood, it would land me in jail.

I have to do something, but what? If I used more spells, the Ministry would send Aurors even in the dead of night.

Just as I contemplated what to do, an instinctive part of me wished that the body of this scum would just disappear, only to find the body of Tobias sinking into the floor.

No, it was sinking into my shadow; I could feel it.

"What the hell is happening to me?!"

"How? How is this happening?" I tried hard to hold back the curiosity from tugging in.

"No, not now. Concentrate. Just let it sink. I will think of what to do with it later."

Before my very eyes, the bloodied body disappeared into the endless depths of shadows. For now, it was for the better. I don't have to think about his body.

Now, on to my mother, oh mother, thinking of her lifeless, gave strength to the raging emotions spilling out, breaking the vial holding.

"Just give me strength for a few more minutes, please.. I have to keep it together."

The weight of my mother's lifeless body laid heavy on my heart.

I longed to give her a proper burial, a final farewell befitting her. But the fear of stirring up gossip and inviting unwanted investigations loomed over me.

It seemed that Spinner's End, my hell, had to witness the disappearance of the entire Snape family.

In contemplating a solution, I considered the circumstances surrounding our lives. My father was currently unemployed, and my mother rarely ventured beyond our doorstep.

As for myself, the majority of my year was spent within the walls of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

A sudden disappearance of the Snape family would undoubtedly raise eyebrows and elicit various assumptions, but it was unlikely to trigger a full-fledged investigation.

The neighbors would gossip for a few days; their whispers carried on the wind, but soon they would forget that we ever existed here.

Spinner's End would continue its monotonous existence, erasing any trace of our presence like whispers lost in the breeze.

This was the course of action I had reluctantly chosen—the path to ensure my safety and preserve the secrecy that shrouded my actions.

I resolved to orchestrate the disappearance of the Snape family, leaving behind only fading memories and a neighborhood left to wonder.

With a heavy heart, I approached my mother's lifeless form, and in that moment, the carefully constructed barriers of Occlumency crumbled beneath the weight of my overwhelming emotions.

As I gazed upon her pale face with a shocked look on her face, a surge of hatred and anger toward my father surged within me, intensified by each passing second.

The magnitude of my resentment multiplied a thousandfold, intertwining with a deep-rooted anger toward myself.

Tears welled in my eyes as I beheld her peaceful countenance, a sense of profound sorrow washing over me.

Reality crashed down upon me like a cruel wave, and I realized the irrevocable truth—she was gone.

She would never again call me "Sev," never be there to welcome me back from Hogwarts, to chastise me, to love me.

She was gone, forever lost to me.

The weight of guilt settled upon my shoulders, for I blamed myself entirely. If only I had been there, had I been a bit more brave, had I been more open to her, perhaps I could have saved her. She could have been here.

Kneeling before her, I poured out my anguished words, my voice filled with sorrow and longing.

"I had so much more to share with you, so many words left unspoken. You were meant to be a witch who could live for two hundred years, and yet you left me. Why did you have to go? Why…? Why does everyone I love.. Leave me? Why? Am I the curse?"

My voice quivered with a mixture of grief and desperation as I sought answers from the void, yearning for the impossible.

But all that remained was the deafening silence, a haunting reminder of the irreplaceable loss I now faced.

"I'm sorry, Mother. It was my fault. I should never have left this morning. Please forgive me," I murmured, my voice laden with remorse.

As I attempted to lift her lifeless body into my arms, my lanky frame betrayed me, lacking the strength to bear such a burden.

Regret and shame engulfed me as I realized my own physical weakness, despising the years I had spent avoiding physical activity, only to be rendered powerless in this pivotal moment.

"I am sorry, Mother. Your son is unworthy and feeble. All these years, I scorned physical exertion, only to be punished when it mattered most," I whispered to her, tears cascading down my cheeks as a testament to my rage at my own weakness.

But I couldn't falter now. I couldn't let her lie there, unburied.

With renewed goal, I turned my attention to the newfound powers of shadow and storage properties that I just witnessed, understanding that maybe if I could send them forth, I could also bring them back. I tried.

Closing my eyes, I delved into the deepest recesses of my consciousness, searching for the location of Tobias's lifeless body. I willed it to appear, commanding my shadow to retrieve it.

And as if answering my call, my shadow contorted, expelling the lifeless form of Tobias. The exertion, however, left my body and mind drained, teetering on the edge of exhaustion.

"Yes, I can store her in my shadow and carry her to the cemetery," I whispered, determined to complete this solemn task.

Gathering my breath and focusing my concentration, I sought to control this newfound power.

With great effort, I successfully transferred both my mother and the wretched scoundrel into the depths of my shadow, their forms melding seamlessly with the darkness.

Under the cover of the dark, empty night, as if mirroring the void within my heart, I Walked into the darkness of night towards a cemetery.

The world around me had surrendered to the embrace of Morpheus, leaving only my mother and me in this snowy expanse.

[Cemetery]

I surveyed the surroundings, ensuring that no one was in sight. With a cautious glance, I cast the "Humano Revelio" spell once more, confirming that I was indeed alone.

Satisfied, I proceeded with the preparations for my mother's burial, fully aware that my summoning by the Ministry was imminent.

I could feel lingering familiarity among the dead, akin to the sensation I experienced with the shadows.

Was this somehow connected to the newfound power within me? I dismissed the thought, focusing my attention on the present moment.

Enchanting the shovel, I commanded it to dig a suitable grave.

Magic flowed through my wand as I transfigured my mother's bloodstained clothes, restoring them to their original state.

With utmost care and reverence, I transfigured the grandest casket my imagination could conjure, a vessel worthy of holding my beloved mother.

Placing her lifeless form within, I couldn't bear to let her go just yet.

Suddenly, the delicate vial containing my emotions shattered, overwhelming me in a torrent of turbulent feelings.

A forbidden and seemingly impossible idea seized my mind, born from the dark arts and muggle studies that I had delved into and would continue to pursue.

"Resurrection!"

Could resurrection be possible? Maybe, in the future, when I possess enough power and knowledge, there will be a glimmer of hope to bring her back.

With the newly transfigured knife, I made a small cut on my mother's wrist, collecting the precious essence of her blood in a flask, determined to explore the depths of this possibility.

Gazing at my mother's serene face one last time, tears streaming down my own, I whispered, "I am sorry, Mother. I failed you in life, but I vow not to fail you in death. Through your name, I will forge my own path and become someone you would be proud of. I will prove to both wizards and muggles alike the worth of the son of Eileen Prince. From now on, I will be known by your name. The purebloods who rejected you and the muggles who never understood you were undeserving, Mother. They shunned us, but I will rise above them. This tragedy is my burden to bear, for if only I had taken you away sooner, acted more swiftly, been stronger... you would still be here, by my side."

Resentment swelled within me toward the purebloods who had cast my mother aside, as well as anger toward the muggles who cowered in irrational fear.

Neither side was innocent, both hiding their prejudice and hatred beneath a façade of apprehension and unfamiliarity.

Brushing away my tears, I made a solemn oath, my voice filled with determination: "I promise you, Mother. Please watch over me. I will find a way to bring you back to life. I will uncover the secrets and overcome the impossible."

Closing the casket and taking one final glimpse of my mother's serene countenance, I buried her with utmost reverence.

As I prepared to leave the cemetery behind, a surge of emotions compelled me to turn around, fixing my gaze upon the tree beneath which my mother's earthly remains were laid to rest. I whispered softly, my words carrying the weight of my profound longing and yearning for her spirit to hear me.

"Today, with you, Severus Tobias Snape died."

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Give me STONES.