Grounded?! Nah, I'm Crip-Walkin'

"Peter, you're grounded until the first day of high school as a senior." Aunt May came inside looking like a demon from japanese hell.... with Uncle Ben's face riddled with black lines and a thin line shaped his mouth.

"Y-yes, Aunt May?" Peter cowered in fear to possibly the scariest existence throughout the WebNovel-verse.

"WHAT HAPPENED?!! WHERE WERE YOU DURING THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL?!! Are you hurt?!! Did someone do anything to you?! Are you okay, sweetie?" As she started shouting from being a rage demon incarnate her tone slowly goes down to a more caring one with her calming down after each sentence. Her face and body language emanating concern.

"I'm okay, Aunt May. I really don't know what happened. I can't remember." Peter said trying to calm her and looking to his Uncle for help.

"May, you should let Peter rest. The police will ask him questions later. We'll just be with him here for needed help and support." Ben chides his wife with a smile and grabs her hand and walked towards Peter.

They hugged Peter tightly.

"Son, you shouldn't worry us. We've been taking care of you with your parents wishes and out of our own volition. Don't go running out without making sure you know where you're going."

"Yeah. I will remind myself that, Uncle Ben." Peter hugs them tighter with his human strength just making sure he doesn't accidentally uses his now divine level of strength.

"Good. Now, have you been exercising? Son, look at yourself in the mirror. The nurses can't even wait to take pictures of you in ages." Ben tells him with a snicker whilst sneakily point to the windows.

Peter looks and sees nurses in college, he smiles at them and nods. With just that small action, every woman near the vicinity of his room swooned with hearts in their eyes.

"Uhh.... Can I help you?" Peter asks and gets asked questions about his name, his school, he has a girlfriend and all that.

---

After that ordeal, Ben and May told Peter that they have to go to work and for him to take care of himself while they're away.

As Peter lays down on the bed, he calls out in his thoughts for the Author.

'Okay, author. What happened to Kendrick vs Drake? Who won? I died after Push Ups released, now tell me.'

'Bruh, chill. Kendrick won that for reals though. Here bro.'

A black phone suddenly materializes on his hand. It's already opened and is on YouTube already.

'euphoria? It has a definition as it's cover art. Is that a Kill Bill reference? Last I remember, Bill struck her with a dart that causes her to experience euphoria alongside a truth serum?'

'Bruhhhhh. How did you get it first try?!! I thought it was about Drake being happy for a week.'

As the song played Peter was absolutely ecstatic.

'Whoa. This is just immaculate. The entendres, I could go on and on about the lyrics, but N-word removal and 'I just hate you' is crazy.'

'Yeah, anyways. You should probably tell the officer that it was the Hand who kidnapped you.'

After that I left the dude alone, and just narrated his life story. I shouldn't have to tell him yet that a guy is asking if this story will be a harem.

---

'Cortana, any explanation of my race? And your skill upgrade?' Peter asks while listening to Not Like Us on repeat. Just the way Kendrick beating Drake at his own style can't get Peter to stop listening to the song.

'Yes, Peter. Your race has gone from 'Human Spider-Mutate' to 'Absolute Human Spider-God' which translates to 10000 times better than the Spider-Verse's spider-people powers and the Absolute Condition is still in effect in your body due to 'Eight Gates of the Spider' skill. My upgrade allows me to have every imaginable, unimaginable, possible, impossible, existent, non-existent, known, unknown, thinkable, unthinkable, created, uncreated, discovered, undiscovered, fictional, nonfictional, perceived, unperceived, etc., power/ability ever, regardless of any flaws or limitations, I got them all. This allows me to expand/affect and control anything Powers/Abilities from the simplest physical phenomena to concept and finally, the Omniverse and beyond. For example, I can possess everything from Enhanced Strength and Flight to powerful abilities that go well beyond standard abilities. Basically, if Ajimu Najimi has 12,858,051,967,633,867 powers in every explanation of superpowers in wiki's, I have an infinite amount of that, which also includes your Author's Authority that you could use whenever.'

'...'

'P-peter...'

'Cortana, you're so awesome, this is why I love having a super awesome AI best friend.'

With that, Peter began to laugh in earnest to himself in his hospital room's privacy after closing it due to what happened a while ago.

'A-anyways, Peter. L-let me play the songs for you, o-okay?' Somehow, Cortana asked that shyly and Peter could feel a head tilt at the end and he can't help but agree to her request and destroyed the black phone the author gave him, it's existence gone poof.

'YES!!!!'

To that end, Peter began to crip walk when Not Like Us played.

'🎶Say, OV-Hoe🎶'

'OV HOE'

'🎶Say, OV-Hoe🎶'

'OV-HOE'

As Peter began to step this way and that way, I had to join in.

'🎶Are you my friend, are we locked in?🎶'

Peter and Author danced in unison to the beat.

'🎶Then step this way, step that way 🎶'

'🎶Then step this way, step that way 🎶'

'Hey, Peter some guy in my realm genuinely asking if you'd want a harem of at least three maximum of four girls?' the Author's words boggled Peter's brain.

'Harem? Dude, yes. But genuinely, I would probably date only four girls at the same time. It depends on their likability for me honestly. And you didn't even tell me your name.'

'PulledTeeth, just call me Smiley. Now, have fun winning them over, ya fuckin' rizzler.' the Author left his head and thoughts.

"Damn, why can't I get a break from having too much power?"