9 Good night

Yujin woke up again after Tsunade. He watched her go to the bathroom and got up from the floor. Stretching a bit, he went outside and resumed his daily routine.

Tsunade witnessed him exercising again, feeling the same peace of mind he did after his morning workout and fresh air. She felt at peace, even though it was the second time this happened.

Tsunade went back to take care of some pending business. Not only was she retiring, but she also planned to leave the village, so there were many things to attend to. However, she hadn't shared her decision with Yujin, who was more than content exploring the village.

For the next few days, the two repeated their routine. They did their own things during the day, and at night, they drank until they fell asleep. In the morning, Tsunade woke up first, and Yujin exercised.

Days later, the routine was disrupted when Tsunade brought Shizune to the apartment.

Surprisingly, Yujin was very comfortable with the little girl.

Tsunade noticed that he knew how to take care of children, as if he had done it many times before. He knew how to communicate with the girl, and they quickly became friends.

Because of Shizune, they reduced their drinking. In the early hours, they were still quite sober, and Shizune was sleeping with her head on Yujin's leg.

"You're really good with kids."

Yujin smiled upon hearing that. He did have quite a bit of experience with it.

"Remember the girl I told you I became friends with?"

Tsunade's smile faded upon hearing that. Even the calm Yujin always seemed a bit down whenever he talked about Xu Rong. This time, however, there was only a smile on his face.

"She was an orphan. She was only twelve when she passed away."

Yujin smiled as he looked at Shizune, reminiscing about the past. Xu Rong was Yujin's first real friend. Despite being a few years younger, he saw her as a little sister and spoiled her whenever he returned to the village with things from his travels.

"I don't know... After what happened to her, in my travels, whenever I saw orphaned children, I remembered her. Because of that, I always tried to help them as much as possible, even though it was impossible for me to take responsibility for all of them, I wanted to help."

Yujin had a special place in his heart for children. Tsunade didn't know what to say, so she remained silent.

"Yujin, I wanted to tell you something."

She decided to change the subject and reveal her plans.

"In the past few days, I've been busy with some preparations. I've retired, and I plan to leave the village."

Yujin didn't seem very surprised by the news; he simply nodded in agreement.

"You knew?"

Tsunade was surprised. She hadn't told him anything because she didn't want to talk about it. The two had been having a great time in recent days, drinking and talking about fun things, especially the things Yujin saw in the village during his walks.

"I didn't know, but I guessed. In my eyes, ninjas in the Leaf Village are elite forces. They are combat specialists, assassins, and information gatherers. The fact that someone like you, with a reputation as great as yours, was so lax around a stranger like me, shows how tired you are. If you were to return to action in this state, one mistake, and you'd be dead. And knowing you, I knew you would make a similar decision."

Tsunade laughed a bit at his explanation, intrigued.

"Wait. One moment you say you're a stranger, and I'm lax around you. The next, you say you know me, and that's why you knew I would make this decision. You're either a stranger, or you know me; both can't be true."

Yujin realized the small contradiction in his words and smiled shyly but explained.

"I meant a stranger in the sense that you've known me for a short time. And even though it's a short time, I know you well enough to know that you wouldn't want to return to the battlefield, although I am a bit surprised you want to leave the village."

Tsunade accepted his explanation but still didn't give up.

"How do you know I wouldn't want to? Even if I'm tired of war, I could come back after resting a bit."

Yujin shook his head and replied seriously.

"You're not tired physically or mentally. You're tired spiritually."

Before Tsunade could respond, he stopped her.

"It takes a lot of spiritual strength to do something that goes against your values."

...

"Tsunade, I may have known you for a short time, but it was enough to know that the last place you'd want to be, whether it's for Dan, Nawaki, or your family, is the battlefield."

...

"You're a kind woman, and your kindness gives you resistance to hurt others, whether they are enemies or not. You're a medic, and as a medic, whether they are enemies or not, your desire is to save lives, not take them."

"To do something that goes against our values is like betraying ourselves. You've been constantly hurting yourself by going into battles. I don't understand the political issues of this world very well, but I know that even if necessary, wars are still painful."

"So it's as if, every day on the battlefield, killing enemies, you're betraying and hurting yourself. Even if it wasn't for Dan, one day you wouldn't bear it anymore and would leave on your own."

Tsunade had no words for what he was saying because deep down she knew it was true. Even when taking the lives of enemies, she didn't feel happy, but rather sad, disappointed in herself.

It never got easier, even after years of service.

"So, you don't need to feel guilty for stopping now."

"No, I don't feel guilty, I-"

She couldn't express herself. Although she wanted to say she didn't feel guilty, deep down, that's how she felt. After all, there are many other people who also don't want to be part of this war but are still on the front lines fighting. When she thinks about these people, she can't help but feel guilty, as if she's running away.

"Tsunade, you're a medic. You know the principle that to take care of someone, you need to take care of yourself first?"

...

"You can't take care of a sick person if you're sick. You can't take care of an injured person if you're injured. You can't save someone if you're dead. And that's how you are right now. Sick, tired, wounded. How do you plan to take care of Shizune like this? It's easier for this girl to take care of you. If you can't take care of a child, how do you plan to take care of a war?"

Yujin's words made her pensive. He was completely right.

"Always put yourself first. Because if you don't take care of yourself, who will?"

It was like she was hit by a bullet. Tsunade suddenly started crying upon hearing his last words. Putting her hands on her face, she cried silently. Yujin made her realize that while she was looking out for others, she should also be looking out for herself.

And this touched on the repressed feelings she had. Feelings she had since the ninja academy, when she tried to convince herself that she could handle the bloody work of being a ninja.

Her desire for medical ninjutsu was a clear sign that she believed in something beyond her duties as a ninja. Even today, medical ninjas are rare, and she, the disciple of the Hokage, is the village's top expert on the field. She didn't need to learn it, but she did and excelled to the point of reaching the pinnacle of the medical world.

This was a clear sign, but she never realized it and always forced herself to do what she didn't want.

Yujin silently watched her and sighed.

Because of his mastery in Harmony, he was very sensitive to emotions. He could easily sense her repressed feelings. He could see what was beneath the mask she put on every day.

In the end, whether it's the Hokage or a Genin, we all have our sensitive side. We all have complex feelings that most of the time we ourselves can't understand.

We can wear masks to try to show the world how strong we are, but we still have our insecurities, fears, and anxieties. Tsunade repressed all of this for many years.

It might seem like she's normal, doing her usual things, and laughing while looking happy, but inside, the insecurities, fears, and anxieties were bubbling, ready to explode at the worst possible moment.

He only tried to help her with some words, hoping to help her understand her feelings, but he ended up touching her so deeply that he could clearly feel the exhaustion draining from her.

For ten minutes, she cried, and when it was over, she quickly fell asleep without saying a word.

Yujin carried Tsunade and Shizune to bed and laid them down. Looking at the two sleeping peacefully, he smiled and also lay down on the floor and slept.

'Good night.'