1 Chapter 1- Home Life and Training

Ever since I was barely old enough to walk, my family has made me go through rigorous martial arts training. Although the times of martial arts have long since passed, the heritage left by our ancestors must be followed. And down to the very last boy or girl, we took that training with determination and honor. We took the beatings, the discipline, the never-ending exercise, and the yelling like our ancestors had decreed; with pride.

When I was 8 and my little sister was 4 (when you start your training in the Kaiser family), we were forced to run a marathon. We were heavily "encouraged" to help each other to the end. If we couldn't do it, then a marathon would be added to the next day. We could only rest on the weekends. Imagine a 4 year-old, who usually struggle with balance, try to run for 26 miles. Needless to say, she barely made it to two miles before I had to start carrying her.

Now mind you, I had been doing training for 4 years straight, with little to no rest. So, for an 8 year-old, I was pretty damn fit. I ran with her on my back for another 5 miles until I collapsed.

Thus the almost never-ending cycle of marathoning continued.

Because we couldn't finish one on the first day, we had 42 miles to run the next day. Needless to say, we didn't improve instantly. And by the time we had slightly improved, we had accumulated 240 miles.

I finished the first marathon with my little sister on my back 2 years later. By that time, we had accumulated 13520 miles.

Ahem,

6 years later...

I was 14 and my little sister was 10, and we finally finished the last marathon we would ever have to do in our lives (hopefully).

By that time, I'm pretty sure I was beating world records for my age, but that didn't faze father. My little sister, surprisingly, turned out to be pretty good at the whole running thing, even if she hated it. She started matching my pace about one year back. We run marathons pretty comfortably now, under three hours. It was a long grueling process, but we finally made it.

"Now that you're finally done with the warm-up, it's time for the real training," said my father as we looked at him with incredulous eyes.

"You're trying to tell me, that we ran a marathon everyday for the past 6 years as a warm up?" I said with the same confusion and incredulity from before.

"Yes."

"!&@#," my little sister blurted out. She sort of developed a potty mouth these past recent months. I don't know why, but she usually only does it when we're out on a run, so only I can hear it. Which means, I don't know father's reaction to her little recent development. Knowing his attitude, I'd feel like he'd had another 26 miles just for the fun of it.

Believe it or not, our father is actually very good to us. We're a loving family out of the training. My father went through this, his father's father, and so on. So, there are no hard feelings. Training is training.

"Hahahahahah, good. I was starting to think that you two were just mindless robots. At least the little one is honest."

"Wait, so she's not getting another 26?"

"Nah, you guys have done pretty well, even if it's just the warm up. It took your aunt and I 8 years before we could do what you did in 6. You better thank lil' Mary she's so good at running. I had to carry your aunt's fat !@# most of the time."

"Wait, my aunt also trained?"

"Of course! We of the Kaiser family all do. Even your mother had to, albeit a lot less intense. She was far too old for this fundamental training to end up being of any use to her"

"HEY! I HEARD THAT, " screamed out mom from inside the house.

Father shuddered as he scratched the back of his head and shouted back, "You know I didn't mean it that way!!"

"YOU STILL SAID IT! NOW GET IN HERE, IT'S LUNCH TIME"

"Better listen to momma, hurry up kids"

--------

After lunch, we would usually continue with marathon running, so we never really looked forward to our lunch break ending. We employed all kinds of little tricks in order to make lunch last as long as possible. My sister and I would comment on all the little things that mom prepared, whether it was a special kind of sauce, the abundant flavours, or the huge amount of food she always prepared for us. We became kind of good at bullshitting.

Once, my sister and I were so good in fact, that we made the usual one hour lunch break last for an extra fifteen minutes.

A whole fifteen minutes! To delay father for that long, needless to say, was a huge achievement for us.

It never happened again. But we tried.

"Oh, my. Mother. Look at you. You've done so well this afternoon. Look at all the choices you've laid out. We've got rice, chicken, lamb, vegetables, soups, fish, and even, my favourite, pig feet!!!" said Mary as she took an inordinate amount of time looking at each dish laid out in front of her. Sometimes, she would even pick them up, sniff them, and confirm in fact that each dish she described was correct.

This was my cue to begin also, "Mother, your ability to constantly, and with perfect precision allow for us, your beautiful children, to eat such a bountiful meal at precisely noon, every. single. day. is just remarkable. I mean, re-mark-able."

"Oh, Alex, you put it so nicely. You're so right. Mother's ability to pamper us with such highly nutritious meals makes all the training worth it, right?"

This wasn't even the start of it, we were just getting warmed up here. Each single bite we would go off on a whole other level about anything even remotely related to what we were eating.

I always enjoyed talking about the water as if it were wine. Even if it was the same spring water that came from the yard of our estate every single time.

I would take a huge, emphatic sniff to try and discern all its mysteries, "Hmmmmmm. Ahhhh. Once again, Mother. You outdo yourself with the choice of beverage this fine afternoon. Let me see if I can decipher some of this delightful water's complexities."

"This water, although at first glance seems completely translucent, after closer inspection, you notice some few in between spots of minerals. Let me guess, you've only aged this water for four hours! A classic aging period for a Kaiser Estate Premium water. I will now take a sip"

Throughout my monologue, I'm making the most exaggerated of expressions imaginable. Mary finds this bit of mine hilarious, sometimes interrupting my monologues with a snicker or two. I always pretend to ignore them, like I'm too into the water to notice her insignificant noises.

As I am about to take a sip, I take the normal, long glass, I shake it around, hold it close to my eyes and inspect for something that isn't there. With a quick harrumph, as if I've noticed something, I take a quick sip. At this point, Mary knows that its her time to reach for the metal bin and put it next to me. I keep the water in my mouth, swirl it around, pretending to try and find some taste to it, and... I gurgle it.

I don't always do this bit, and I don't always gurgle, but when I do, Mary bursts out laughing.

I proceed to pay no heed to her, and I spit out the "wine" in the basin that Mary had put next to me.

"Ah, I see. Mhm," I say as I nod to myself as if I've finally unlocked the mysteries of this water, or all water in general.

"Well, where do I start? The water that you've brought for us today, mother, is not too edgy. It has this nice, round, supple character to it. It has a fantastic finish. It has the characteristic, slightly metallic taste that you'd fine in a Kaiser Estate Premium water. A great table water, perfect for the food in front of us today."

My sister loved it all and ate it up as she would usually comment, "You've really outdone yourself today, Alex. Another great water review."

Our lunches were always a time where Mary and I could relax and have some fun. I'm sure our parents knew what we were doing, but they usually took it in good humour. Sometimes, rarely, they would even join in in our sarcasm.

This time, however, we were both excited to see what our father had in store for us.

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