1 Chapter 1: Driven to the Edge

Rosemary PoV

I smiled at my rosy dress with lace sleeves. Artemia had helped me pick it out last week. Originally, I didn't want to attend the ball, but she had convinced me to go. Said she and Ore, my older brother, would love to have someone else who wasn't stuck up around to talk to.

My smiled faded a little as I approached the ballroom. Anxiety and nervousness swept over me. I worried about the other guests. Most would ignore me, but not all. And the attention I did get, I didn't like. But maybe this dress would change that! I hoped.

Taking a couple of breaths to calm myself down, I pushed the doors of the ballroom open. But I soon hid behind a pillar as I noticed all of them people inside. There were more guests than I'd expected.

"Hmph, look at what the cat dragged in. It's the weakling," I overheard a blond girl 'whisper'. She was a few years older than me. It was Eileen, the wife of the Grand Duke of Kuroichi. "Look at how ugly that dress she has on is." She laughed. "No wonder she is hiding herself! I would too if I were her. Well, not that I would ever be caught wearing such a hideous thing."

I looked down at my dress. It was rather plain when compared to Eileen's beautiful red dress, or the puffy white dress that her friend Matsuko was wearing. She even had a yellow hair clip that brought out the luster of her ocean-blue hair.

"Hey, don't say that! She can hear you! No matter how ill you might think of her, she's still the princess of this country. You might get disciplined over it," Matsuko said.

I smiled slightly. While I wasn't too fond of Eileen, at least Matsuko had some character. I wished I could've been more like her. Like me, she was a princess. She hailed from our northern neighbor, Mizu no Kin, the nation of Water and Metal. After becoming the wife of my maternal cousin, the Grand Duke of Kuroyuki no San, she moved to Kuroriku to live with her husband in the northernmost Grand Duchy. Given the snowy weather there, it probably felt similar to home for her.

Eileen pushed her golden locks back and scoffed. "Like His Majesty would throw me into the dungeon because of that girl. He isn't even fond of her."

I lowered my head and turned around. Why had I even decided to come again? Not like father asked me to. He probably wouldn't like to see me here anyway.

"Aren't you going to let them have it?" a cold voice called out.

My eyes darted upward. A tall, handsome man with a large mane of purplish-black hair glared at me.

"F-Father," I said, lowering my head again.

Father sighed. "You really are a sad excuse for a Kuroriku." He turned away. "If only you had perished in that accident instead of your mother."

My whole body started shaking upon hearing those words. I raised my hands toward my eyes and ran off. Tears swelled up.

Father was right. Everyone would've been much happier if Mom were still around. At least she contributed something to this family. My mana control was subpar, and while I did well in school, I was far from a genius. My confidence had always been lacking, even as a little kid.

Rapidly, I descended the stairs of the dimly lit castle lobby. Father wasn't fond of light. Much less after Mother's passing. It had been a sunny day when we lost her. If not for needing to protect me, Mom could've survived by momentarily strengthening the cells of her body with mana. Instead, she choose to protect me by channeling it into me. I had such atrocious mana control, even for my young age, that I couldn't do it myself.

My eyes descended on the center of the lobby which was encrusted with gold, amethyst, and citrine. According to Orlin, there were two graves underneath all the lavish splendor. They belonged to our ancestors, the Archangel of Earth and the Archangel of Darkness. The bodies or other members of my family were also buried in the dark catacombs further underground.

If I were to die, would I be buried next to Mom and my grandparents? Or would my bones be thrown to the dogs for being a disgrace?

I opened one of the twin doors leading outside the palace. Instantly, the rain drenched my pink dress, but I didn't care. The pain from the harsh rain and hail was nothing compared to the pain in my heart. I wanted it to stop. I wanted to stop feeling. But there was no medicine for emotions, only stuff that could mask the sadness with momentary joy. What I sought wasn't ethereal joy, though.

I shook my head. Perhaps somebody as pathetic as me wasn't deserving of happiness. Not like anybody else thought otherwise. As far as I could remember, people had looked at me with contempt. The few who treated me nicely would one day leave me. Even Orlin and Artemia would one day grow tired of caring for me.

As I walked through the garden, several white roses caught my eye. They were so beautiful, but even they would eventually wilt and die. Was that why my father kept a garden? So that he could watch the beauty fade?

Squatting beside the rose bush, I reached out and touched the petals of a rose, causing one of the petals to land at my feet. They were as fragile as me.

I frowned as I realized the rose was sick. Had the gardener not been caring for it? Poor thing. It was just like me, destined to dry up and disappear one day. No matter how much we tried, we would never be as radiant as those born with beauty, talent, and power. And that was just the way things were.

I looked up at the heavens. Why had the Sky Father allowed me to keep on living? Why hadn't he taken me away along with Mom? Maybe it was because I wasn't good enough. Or maybe it was his plan to use me as a pawn. Whatever the reason, it wasn't fair.

My hands curled into fists. I didn't want to keep on suffering like this. Nor did I wish to continue living in fear of the specter of death. My life was destined to be short from the beginning. So why continue to live through this agony? It was best to end my life on my own terms.

Walking ahead, I left the castle grounds behind. As I made my way to the edge of the cliff, I thought of all the things I had done in the past. My memories were like a river flowing into the ocean. No matter how far they went, they would always return to the place where they started.

I mindlessly walked through the wet streets, almost getting run over by cars, but they would always stop before hitting me. Why wouldn't they just end my life? No, that would be bad for the people inside. My goal was to stop being a bother to others. Especially to Father. If I got hit, my death would become somebody else's problem.

Before long, I reached a stone bridge overlooking Kaguya river. Luckily for me, the place was empty at the moment. Although, would anyone have even bothered saving a wretch like me? At most, they probably would have just watched as I met my end in a display of morbid curiosity.

And as I stood at the edge, I remembered all the times I had cried. All the times I had hurt. But now, I was ready.

I smiled as the wind whipped around me. It was time to end it.

Turning around, I let my body fall backwards into the river. The sky was a sea of stars. The city lights around me sparkled like gems. It was so beautiful, and for the first time, I felt a sense of calm wash over me.

I didn't regret it. No, I had finally found the courage to stand up for myself in my very own way.

The water was high, so the fall itself didn't kill me instantly as I had hoped. As the river enveloped me, I closed my eyes. This was the end of my journey. It was full of misery and tragedy. 

"Sis!" I heard a voice scream.

Orlin! Brother, he came for me. What was he doing here? Had he followed me? But why? Did he care about me? Or was it just pity? No, right? Surely at least one person in this world loved me. Why had I given up on myself so soon? I knew he loved me. Yet, I still went through with this stupid decision. I allowed the words of those girls and Father get to me.

"Sis, where are you? Rose! Please show yourself! I want to talk!"

Right, my life was not all misery and tragedy. There were faint glimmers of joy and hope left. Ore was a big part of that.

How selfish of me... I was actually about to let abandon my brother. I tried to resurface, but my swimming skills weren't the best. To make matters worse, the current was far too strong. If not for the current, I would have at least been able to paddle over to the edge with some effort.

My right hand broke through the fierce waters and was yanked by another hand. I was pulled out of the murky depths and saw a pair of cold violet eyes staring back at me. Father? No, it wasn't him. Although, those eyes felt familiar.

Before I could make out the face of my rescuer clearly, darkness swept over me. But I didn't want to die... Not anymore!