Festive madness

By the first cock-crow, we were already up, bathed and dressed, despite our fatigue

from sleeping late, busy guarding mouth-watering confectioneries. Of course we ate

a couple of them, as a way to taste and also to satisfy the temptations in our

salivating mouths. Lucky us, those who do the morning duty of cooking, our job is

the lightest and after that we settle into the festivities of the day with the rest of the

people.

Rumbidzai and Shamiso get down to preparing the breakfast as I clean the house.

After I have finished cleaning, they start setting the table and by the time people start

waking up, we are done with everything and so people get down to eating.

"You girls should be working in professional bakeries. The way these confectioneries

are nice, one would swear that they were bought from a bakery." Ambuya says, a

proud smile plastered on her lips.

"Ini, I love the pies. Eyi they are so nice, especially the meat pie. Hayi apa matiuraya

nezvinonaka. (You really want to kill us with good food.)" Uncle Jeremiah says,

causing our smiles to widen.

"The girls sure know how to cook. I am sure the men who will marry them will be

very proud. Your in-laws shall visit you like no man's business, just to get a taste of

the delicacies that you girls cook." My mother says, as she eyes Shamiso and I from

across the table.

"They will make their husbands and children obese with all this nice food. Already,

Rumbidzai's children are fat from all the nice food that their mother cooks." Sekuru

says, earning himself a shy smile from Rumbidzai. Did I tell you, Rumbidzai is the

only one among the trio who does not drink or smoke but one of these Christmas

celebrations, we will have her laughing at every crazy thing even flies mating.

Marijuana is the best way to get at her.

"I really don't think their cooking is that good? I found a piece of hair in my piece of

pie." Candice says as she raises a strand of hair to show everyone as evidence.

"I don't think you would have found that piece of hair if you didn't have such a wild

wig on your head." I respond, in the process silencing everyone at the table and

causing them to look at me, wide eyed.

"What she is trying to say is, yesterday we did the cooking, whilst putting on shower

caps, since we did not have the rightful equipment. And that is a clear sign that our

baking or cooking was not exposed to our hair." Shamiso clarifies, in the process

covering up the mess that I just created in front of every eye at the table.

"And everyone is already having Christmas without me?" Ngoni says as he enters the

room. Attracting everyone's attention. He is still limping and he has lost a few

kilograms.

"At least, you still have the strength to get to breakfast. Take a seat, help yourself to

some of the food and stop being a sulky little boy who expects to be woken up in the

morning, bathed, dressed and placed at the breakfast table!" I say to him and again

everyone at the table looks at me, especially my mother. She gives me the

disapproving eye which I ignore.

I really think that Ngoni and Candice should have been a couple. The way those two

idiots cause drama is disgusting. They act like kindergarten children. Always after

the attention. They forget that they are grown up adults who now have children...

we however continue with the eating, Ngoni still casting malicious glances at me.

Rumbidzai now looks shrewd. The way her head is bent down on to the plate, you

would swear that she is trying to get into the plate. I wonder whether its respect for

Ngoni or he still is abusing her, if he is, then this time I am definitely breaking his

legs or those hands.

Breakfast goes pretty well and we do the dishes and after that, we head to the kraal

to see the men slaughtering a cow. Sekuru gives Arnold the axe to slaughter the cow

and I laugh in absolute pity. Arnold can barely slaughter a chicken. What more a

whole beast. I watch closely as Arnold tries to hit the cow with an axe. He gives the

cow one strike and the axes bumps and falls at a certain distance and there is turmoil

in the kraal. The mad beast throws a fit and I jump into the kraal, pick up the axe

and strike the mad beast on its forehead and it falls on its knees, much to everyone's

amusement.

"Gentlemen, this woman deserves a beer" I say to them as I walk out of the kraal in

absolute triumph. I have always proven to every man in my family that I am a woman

but I can do everything that the masculine specie can do, except thinking using my

sexual needs. That I cross out completely. I believe that everything should be done

in sober thought.

"I really wander where on planet earth you get your bravery." Shamiso says to me as

we head back to the house.

"The very same place where men get theirs. It's a matter of getting your act together

when everyone else is chickening out. Because one thing for sure, someone has to

do it." I respond.

"That cow almost killed you in broad daylight." She says.

"Well, that would have been a tragedy I tell you. Now let's get something to do, we

can't spend the whole day lazing around. It really gets boring." I say to Shamiso as

we head to the kitchen.

"One thing for sure, we can't spend the whole day cooking with the rest of the ladies

yet we slept late cooking." She responds.

"Let's go and braai with the gentlemen then." I suggest.

"That sounds like something that could be fun." Shamiso says, as malicious smile

creeps up her face. We go and collect the braai stand and after that, we get some

charcoal from the kitchen, get meat from the gentleman who have slaughtered the

cow and we set the world alight. Soon, other women who take care of the evening

meal have joined in too. Where there is Shamiso and I, there definitely has to be some

alcohol. This time, it's some vodka and we have diluted it with some juice and we are

all having an absolutely wonderful time as women. Everyone is now loose from all

the drinking and the topics that I am hearing here, get me rolling on my stomach.

Tomorrow, I will most definitely wake up with a sore rib cage and stomach.

Tariro is sent to call us so that we can come and eat lunch. Oh, how fast time flies.

In a few, we were eating breakfast and now we are going to eat some lunch. Worse

off, I am super full, from all the meat that I have been eating. We all go and sit at the

large table that has been placed at the gazebo. I decide to load my plate with salads,

instead of all the other foods.

"Why aren't you eating the rice?" Arnold whispers to my ear.

"I ate a hell lot of meat so I am a bit full." I respond.

"Why the whispering? Isn't the food nice?" Candice asks and this time instead of

giving her the attention that she needs, I roll my eyes and continue with my eating.

Some people don't even deserve your attention. After the meal, I don't bother to eat

desert, I go straight to bed since I am more than full. Even breathing is a bit painful.

I am awoken by Shamiso at around six, telling me that I should come and eat.

"These days, you sleep like a pregnant woman. What's going on?" Shamiso asks as

she puts on a light jersey, most probably because of the temperatures outside.

"I barely slept yesterday and I was up on my feet early today, so I really have to

recuperate." I respond, as I too get a light jersey.

"That is way too much recuperation. You slept from two in the afternoon and woke

up at half past six." She reasons.

"I really am exhausted." I say to her as we head to the dining room to have supper. I

eat a little and I go and join the other rascals outside in the cool of the evening. It

seems like the braai is continuing. I hunt for the alcohol and I dilute it with some

juice and I sink into the night's festivity. We are dancing to songs, telling stories and

drinking the damn day away. It's been long since I got this free. And so much freedom

is usually exposes, too much, especially in an environment with family members, so

I decide to cut the drinking and enjoy the festive madness.