Concern

I surprised Mr. Rockern when I asked him if he had any other available apartments up for rent.

I heard the concern in his voice as he demanded an explanation for why, but I sealed my lips tight.

It was shameful of me to be asking for a new place when he already waived my rent. But I knew of Lumi's temperament. I planned her to start practicing her singing right away. With her timidity and traumas, she would not be able to make a squeak if she knew strangers could hear her.

I told Mr. Rockern I wanted to be alone and did not want to disturb the neighbors. The half-true explanation sort of satisfied him. He had done enough for me already. Knowing his penchant for helpfulness, I refused to bother him with our dreams.

"I want to give you a surprise," I said. "You know how gossipy the folks around here are."

"Well, because of the incident, the neighboring tenants do not feel quite safe. I have arrangements for them, and they've made moving preparations already. They'll be out and about in a day or two. And since you've asked, I'll refrain from posting their listings. Is that convenient for you?"

"I'm troubling you again."

"No worries. Ah. I almost forgot. I have a cleaning crew coming in this afternoon for your wreck of a place. To be honest, I thought you wouldn't be coming back after the incident. I was considering putting your place up for listing," Mr. Rockern said.

That made me feel a whole lot worse, but I hid it as best I could. I told myself it was my second chance and there was no place for negativity. I was here to undo my regrets.

"There's no need. I was planning on heading out to grab some supplies and clean the place up myself."

"Then I'll cancel the appointment." He paused. "Well, I have matters to attend to. It was really nice hearing from you. I'll be waiting for your surprise."

"Thank you, Mr. Rockern."

He chuckled before hanging up.

I walked over to the living room, throwing my phone onto the dusty and torn couch. I sat there with my elbows on the coffee table full of trash. I buried my face in my hands and let the cool, gentle wave of relief wash throughout my body.

Finally, the huge knot in my heart was gone.

After another bout of deep breaths, I rose and headed out to the department store.

***

The sun shone bright in midday when Lumi stumbled into the kitchen. She rubbed her eyes with a hand; the other clasped the bottom of her ragged dress which was falling off.

I dropped the dishes I was cleaning into the sink immediately. I left the water running in the sink when I scooped her up into another tight embrace. I let her head rest on my shoulder and soothed her back.

"Good afternoon, dumpling. Did you have a good sleep? I'm sorry for waking you up in the middle of the night."

Craning my head downwards, I saw Lumi's cheek squished onto my shoulders. Her eyelids still remained droopy, and her lips had traces of drool.

She was so adorably cute as she mumbled a word of acknowledgment. Her body remained tight from when I scooped her into the hug. I let the sounds of flowing water work its magic. I held the position, the sink's soft gush calming her.

After a swift moment, her head rocked into the side of my neck. I was not exaggerating when I say that my heart warmed like the end of a nuclear fusion reaction of the sun.

"Still sleepy?" I asked, my voice falling low and soft. I leaned in for a kiss on the back of her hair, not minding it's coarse, dry texture. 

I am tired a lot lately, Dad.

But her six simple words were absolute zero to me. I froze in place as a brittleness crawled over my joints and a relentless ache gnawed at my flesh.

D-dad? Are you okay?

Sorry, dumpling. I thought of something.

I'm not sick, Dad. I'm eating okay.

The stinging grew worse, like the needles were a thousand times sharper. A million times more in number.

I wanted Lumi to know and feel my concern for her. At the same time, I did not want to remind her of her malnutrition. Her poor health. Her traumas.

So, helpless, I turned her around and kiss her all over. I planted a kiss her sunken forehead, her pale cheeks, her sullen neck, her palms with her bony fingers.

D-dad!

I forced myself to ignore Lumi's little miff of outrage. I nuzzled against myself her arms and chest and hated how prominent I could feel her bones. I was beyond cold all over, but Lumi somehow was colder.

I remained unclear on how her body temperature could have fallen so low, how frail and sickly her frame was. She could compress with a pinch, snap like a twig.

No human should live like this, especially not my daughter.

You're not eating enough, dumpling. That's why you feel tired and sleepy all the time. Wait. Drink this.

After I ensured Lumi was comfortable on the small stool, I shut off the running water. I began to prepare the healing honey Meteor had granted.

The kettle broke, so I heated some water over stove during the morning. I confirmed it was lukewarm before I poured it and the honey into a clean cup and mixed it together.

I passed the cup of honey water over to her and removed the spoon first before the eager I waited for her to drink.

Lumi stared at the cup. She bit her lip and crinkled her brows. Her gaze scattered all over the cup. 

Will it taste good, Dad?

"Don't be apprehensive, it's honey water, dumpling. Honey is super sweet. You'll love it, even if it's your first time having it," I encouraged her and pushed the cup closer.

Lumi no longer hesitated. She raised the cup with her two small hands and began drinking. I saw her eyes widening the moment she finished her first gulp.