A Beginning A Start

Nothing will change.

If you woke up, and found yourself in a situation of those reincarnated MC in what would you do?

Will you change? Will you save this second chance?

You could fix your past behavior. And found a nice girl your dream waifu maybe, a harem perhaps with the newfound power you gained or trained. Spending your days in thrilling story of your favorite characters, have a relationship with them, and someday maybe you will marry one or all of them.

You could use your past as stepping stone, a tutorial mode maybe. And treat this as new game+ with all the knowledge you gained in your past life, a genius the people will thought of you.

You will be basked in popularity girl would fawn left and right over your slight attention, the dream of your life.

But, for me?

Nothing will change.

"Hoii! Do you have the money!" Shout the boy in front of me as his friend behind snicker in delight of my suffering.

"N..no as you see Andou-san I don't have any money left for this month, so please…." I answered with fright, I want to wet myself real bad.

'krek' a sound of broken bone could be heard as I tried to shout but only to found another fist hover over my face, 'aghhh' It hurts, why did you enjoy it?

"haha..hahahha look at him! Squirming like the worm he is!" the people behind him mocked, some were taking their phone, why?

Ah, that how human is, taking another pain as pleasure for oneself. Utterly selfish, yet that's how they lived. How sad, a glimpse of moment I uselessly waste to think.

Augh!! Another kicked landed on my stomach, making my innard in disarray as I felt the urge to puke.

"That's for showing me such unsightly face you make" he snickered as he knuckled his fist.

I tried to get up. I don't know why but other than the primal instinct of fear and tried to escape.

I know in my mind it could never happen as another painful jab hit my face, ugh!! I got slumped to the wall behind.

The world blurred out of my vision, I tried to keep and stay conscious.

Scorching burn could be felt from my stomach, I can't feel my face or right arm either.

"Heh, well I guess I will call this over today, next time you should hand this peacefully then maybe you would have more good looking face the next day, hahaha." his face contorted into a grin as he held my wallet, and pick up the cash I left for this month.

"Well, it's not a big deal Andou-san. It's not like someone want to see his face anyway, right?" The small fries laughed as they left my bruised form all alone in here.

And there goes my salary, I thought they won't force me this time but I dropped my guard…Sigh, since when it became like this.

I stayed there for I don't know how long. Minutes may have pass or perhaps hours and days.

I can't bother to think no more, no need to curse more stamina will be wasted that way.

Gathering my strength left, I tried to get up once again enduring the scorching pain I felt as I dragged myself out of the school.

Nobody bothered to see my crumpled and dirty white blazer, as I walk under the evening sun. Even I don't have any strength left to curse over my predicament.

Ugh, the evening light felt as it tried to blaze my dimming vision further. I can barely breath, I slumped myself to the dirt as I want to rest my creaking bone. Going to hospital will charge me more than I can earn in three month, right now.

I want to sleep I got no money left for today dinner too. It would be best if I just don't wake up, kidding.

Sigh, I fear for death even though this is my second life.

As I lay beside the river and the city beyond it, I can hear some voice, faintly echoing through my somewhat a little bleeding eardrum. Hmm, are those sounds of footsteps?

I instantly know who were those voices belongs to, why? Because, they are the center of this world and also my classmate.

"Nee, nee Yamato for celebrating Chris and Mayucchi for entering Kazama family let's make a party!" how could I forgot this one, with a loud cheery bright tone I can hear her snoring throughout the class.

"Well, Wanko aren't we already have one in the base before?"

"Hear this Yamato, one celebration party is not complete if there's no at least a yakiniku or hotpot feast!"

"Isn't that just the dinner you wanted wanko."

"Regardless the credibility of what my sister said, I'm all open for the hotpot~~!" hmm, she must be Momoyo.

"Ou! That would be fun." A masculine voice must be that bicep gay gakuto.

"What do you think cap?" a potential trap, Moro.

"Hmm, looks fun why we don't do it?" The head of the group, Kazama himself.

"Then, I think we should go to the Satou jiisan store for the ingredients, I heard he has a sale today." Ah, here it comes, my favorite of them all. Though it pains me, she's a sweet devoted rare girl why the prick didn't just accept her!

Ouch, that hurts. Give me some break can't a guy complain to himself peacefully.

"Ooo as expected of Miyako, you always memorize these kinds of thing."

"Anything for my beloved Yamato, I love you"

"Yeah, let's be friend Miyako." See? The fuck, you dipshit Ero-protagonist! Just accept her and bang!

Why I rooted to him if I like her, you say? It just I don't have confidence you say…she just can't see someone other than that prickshit protagonist, even in some route I play she would still chase and devote to him even though he already got married to another heroine.

Sigh, whatever I don't have any willpower left to hear their conversation, anymore. I can feel the painful beating sound over my eardrum, luckily it just some bleeding mark, I hope it gets healed soon.

They were once my favorite character until I'm no longer saw them through the monitor. You don't need to ask why it is no longer so.

I have already suffered physical damage, and I don't want to add mental damage either with their happy and super-elite normie conversation.

Right, nothing will change.

I'm just an average normal guy in my past life, or so I think. The word 'normal' and 'average' is already a dream to me at that time and here.

I born and raised under two loving parents and sister, nothing is happening, no tragedy or house violence you expect and distort me somehow. Nothing like that ever happens, other than the beating I got from my father for bad failing grades.

I have somewhat happy childhood memories with a lot of friends, then somehow I found Japanese subculture and started to indulge myself in it. When I realized, I'm already a socially awkward person who can't communicate well with the people around him.

I'm not a good person, don't have a skill, intellect and look either. I tried to redeem myself through the silent kind act I put through in hope someone would notice me, but no, they would just take advantage of me.

I realized all my bad point, but I never learned. I let them to take advantage, at least I could have some friends to talk over, or so I thought. It was very painful I want to change but can't do so. I don't have the willpower to do so, or maybe I'm just deluding myself.

I wallowed in self-pity every day, and smile over something I formed inside my mind as I like have already accomplished it myself.

Then someday I slept.

When I woke up, I'm already in this scrawny body. In a dark and dingy room I woke up, the room was Spartan with only a mattress and cabinet for clothes. I remembered this body pasts life, he was an orphaned kids who live over his parents leftover inheritance and wallow in self-pity every day as his relatives rob everything of his parents and dump him into this room he called home.

Of course, I panicked, any normal and sane guy would do so. I checked my figure over and over again to make sure this isn't a dream.

To say the least, his life was worse than me. Then I think, maybe this would be a good chance to motivate myself to change, but every effort I could make would be crushed under as someone wouldn't let me to.

And I was freaked out of terror and joy when I found this world is one of my favorite VN I used to play once. Terror when I realized this is dog eat dog shit world, where absurdity could happen every time. Like the super inhuman girl Tomoyo one of the heroine, the sheer number of martial disciple and muscle head, heroic spirit cloning, a super worldwide mega-company, legal loli, freakin' vampires butler and ninja maid, terminator uprising, and mutant Yankees and terrorist.

Then I know since the beginning this guy didn't particularly like by his classmate since elementary that even the rumor carried over and spread through until now.

They say he is dirty. True since he can't afford something new.

They say he is delusional. I don't know about this one, but I can sympathize with him. From time to time he would remember the memories of his deceased mother, as such, he would cry, smile, muttering to his self. It bound to create a misunderstanding, no one wanted to approach him even the adult chalk it as children antic to gain attention.

From such behavior, various rumor sprang up and spread over mouth through a mouth that it somehow snowballed into an avalanche. I was a stalker, I conduct an obscure ritual every weekend, I kept my mother corpse on my room, even something as absurd as that.

Every week I endure the humiliation they put me through, the snickering of the girl behind my back. The violence the boy showed in front of me, it just discouraged me further and further.

I was afraid at first, I put under stress when thinking all of those until I get my bearing then it was too late…

What kind of failure who tried to fix another failure anyway? It was ironic like patching a hole on sinking boat with a paper plaster.

I don't have any redeeming features if you ask me to return the wallet I found on the street to the police then I will keep it for myself. As such, I was to be put under the social caste, a glorified punch-bag for their built-up stress.

I want to fix it, even though I should blame the guy whose body I possessed. I can't do so, he is myself after all, no matter how bad he is I remember every emotion he had ever made.

But...you see…even I tried…

My head was throbbing like being pounded by war hammer, agh!! I bit my bruised lips to numb the pain. A nice little trick I learned here, putting fire with fire.

It was hard to fix glass that had have been broken to a thousand pieces, you need to melt it all over again to piece it back.

They even won't give me a chance…

I tried to form at least a friend here, but they reject me even the characters I used to be idolized once.

Even Yukie who tried to search for 100 friends she rejected me…

"I'm sorry…Sasaki-san…it's not like I hate you or anything but I'm sorry…" she bowed to me and ah, she ran away.

But I just tried to have a nice conversation over lunch and maybe ask her to be my friend. Is it so hard?! And even I have gathered of what's left of my battered courage.

I can remember the snickering laugh of others around me, "Uwah, look at him trying to court a chance for the freshman." I remembered that voice, the bitch Ogawara chika and that fuckin' black ape. "very pitiful, but I won't even give him a chance for me." "pftt…"

Well it's normal, I think…heh. I'm sure she can't stand the pressure of those snickering, choosing to distance herself from me. A wise choice, yet it still hurts no matter how numb I could be.

Even if they were real, it was not like they will talk to you. What a harsh reality.

I forced my eyelid to open, it like wrenching a metal gate that hasn't been opened for centuries. It was very heavy and the soft light that comes through was like trying to burn my eyes.

The sky has already darkened, as the fleeting wind passes through the grass. The moon beautifully reflected over the clear blue river. The city across lit up their light like numerous stars across the sky.

Firefly flared up their green light as some flew over me and land itself over my face as it wanted to cheer me up.

Haha…it was still painful but tickles…

Sigh.

It was beautiful even what the world has done to me it was still mesmerizing.

I maybe not a clever person, perhaps I'm not good looking or rich either. I'm not like the MC on those novels who have an expensive system or cheat under their belts, but this time I'm sure…

I swallowed my tears, right maybe I can't change, maybe they won't give me a chance but at least I will try and give an effort no matter what.

Even if I have to beg, slithering, crawling, or drag myself through the dirt and mud, I will still try it once more.

If a firefly could motivate myself then maybe I should seek comfort to the animal instead, like hamster-no it would be too expensive for me to buy, a stray kitten could be nice if I searched throughout the city.

As I thought such fleeting things, I fell asleep under the starry skies and the cold-pleasant wind of night.

This time something will change, I'm sure.

Hmm the smell of dirt and grass, it's nice…

Ugh…I woke up at the blaring sun like it was my personal alarm, right, the school!

I tried to get up but my face contorted to pain

Ow! Ow! My body was stiff as a brick I still could felt the ache and pain.

Of course, isn't it obvious, it won't magically heal overnight from the lick and spit of worm underneath me.

Today is Saturday, a weekend. Wait, I should be happy if not for this scorching pain. Damn, they knew today would be weekend so they beat me yesterday huh? F'ckin asshole.

Oh, I can swear once more. Banzai! swearing energy recovered!

Nevertheless, if I want to change I need to overcome this measly pain!

I tried once again to get up.

Get up! Strong me! Get up! I forced myself as I stand up with shaky legs.

Ugh, I could do this. One small step for a man, one big step for Sasaki Kenji! I shouted with the best of my lungs.

I was like that enduring people weird gaze and glance throughout 2km journey to the cheap one-room boarding house I called home.

"I'm home." It's not like someone will answer me, still, it becomes a habit since I lived this second life.

It was the same old room when I woke up, with a cheap 5 watts old and dim light bulb being the only source of light in here. The owner wouldn't even bother to replace it.

Some folded cloths lay on the edge of the mattress, as cutlery and silverware cleanly placed at the corner. There's no kitchen here, so often I cooked rice behind the backyard with makeover stove I made with used brick when the owner is gone. It's not like he stays often here.

And by the way, I learned those from the crumpled survival magazine I scrounge on the street, I wonder why people throw those stuff around, Useful little things. Well, man shit is another man goldmine. Even I found vintage adult mag once, truly a gold nugget.

I slumped over myself to the mattress ah I wonder when I can save money and change this flat pillow.

Now I remember I don't have any money left. Uwaa how I can survive for this month, forget the month I'm not sure if I can survive for the next three days.

What should I do? Asking for advanced payment to the boss? No no, it's impossible he was already scary enough. Ask a friend? I don't have friends, ugh then to the last choice. Lending money from someone? Out of question, you are a dead man walking once riddled with debt. Sigh, it was not like I have a choice, to begin with.

Scavenge from the back of a restaurant or establishment at least I could fill my belly this way.

But I can't move my body either without me being in constant pain.

Is this order 227? If I move I would felt unbearable pain if I stop I could die in starvation, what a cruel order.

Die or pain which one will you choose? Hmm dying from starvation would make me experience pain either way so choosing the latter choice would be the best course as I wouldn't die anyway.

But let me rest for at least an hour.

Something would never change.

After a cold-bath, pain, and swearing later, I change myself with something clean-a white bland t-shirt with black fabric pants, some stitch could be seen if you look carefully. *growl* right, please be patient.

The cold wind air greeted me as soon as I open the gate outside, it was already dark here as the moon orbiting high in the sky. An hour is a lie, I blast my way and slept for straight 13 hours. Can you blame a guy with wound and bruise painted to his body? I say nay.

Brushing my hair to the side, I walked under the glittering light of the city. People go about their own way, friends holding and leading their drunkard friends as young couple intertwined in a sweet atmosphere. Right, this is a holiday, people would use this to relieve them of their stress or spend the time with their beloved.

Who am I kidding, of course, I am jealous, but my stomach comes first I can't worry about some stranger flirting and spouting embarrassing line.