Chapter 7

Dear Lord, give me the strength to handle myself with love and not be something I am not. Give me knowledge, wisdom and understanding of the content I teach and assist the learners that I will teach to understand what I teach them. I silently pray pretending to be meditating, well that is normal for people to do everywhere, I will seem too mindful. I smirk. I am doing the opposite of what I was praying for.

"Some silent prayer techniques you got there. You do need them here" He pushes a mug of coffee towards me "Here is some coffee to kickstart your day with " He sips his coffee staring at my small hazel eyes. He lowers his mug and tears a tiny smile and leaves before I could say anything. What an odd one. I guess I should consider him a friend, but is it safe to do so yet? Maybe an acquaintance. I pick up the mug and take a slow sniff of the delicious aroma soothing my nostrils. Good coffee always smells good. I blow out the tip of the mug and take a sip. Fuck! This shit is hot and bitter. Fuck! my tongue. I swallow the bitter liquids in my mouth. I raise my gaze and I meet his gaze, I smile at him and he pushes his spectacles and looks at the book in his hand.

"It's bitter, isn't it? " Ntshuxeko settles himself on my table

"Yes," I grit the answer out.

"Oh well, that is Lucas's welcome gift for you, he knows that people hate his coffee, so he always tries to recruit new ones to his team" He continues.

"That I agree with. This is not coffee, it's kofi" I complain and he laughs.

"True, ZCC kofi" We both laugh and pause awkwardly

"I..." We speak unanimously. "Speak first" He gives a go-ahead.

"I am sorry, I was flustered" I apologise.

"That I do agree with. I am sorry too" He pauses "It's water under the bridge, right? "

"Sure, it's all water under the bridge" I take another sip "Argh!"

"Why are you still drinking it?" He shakes his head.

"Just" I take another sip and swallow it hard. "I think it is working, giving me so much energy"

"Yeah sure, till your heart feels like it's about to burst through your chest. Good luck with your coffee. " He moves from my table "And We are leaving together after school. Don't do what you did yesterday" He squints his eyes and walks to his table.

When did we get this causal? I am in it for it ain't I? I discovered another layer, he is like an onion, and he has so many layers to him.

The bell rings.

First day in class, Fuck!!!! I want to bury myself under this table. I stand up, I am a little bit sweaty and feel a strong feeling on my chest. I walk out of the staff room with my preparation book and textbook in my hands. I hold tightly to them. First day of teaching, and I am going to teach the whole FET. Right now, I am heading to the Grade 11 class.

I stand in front of the class with the door ajar. I breathe in to shake my nerves away. A contraction surge floods my chest, I should not fear, I got this. I walk slowly into the class trying to calm myself. I stand in front of the learners and quickly scan for an empty desk because there's no table or chair for the teacher. I put my books on top of the front desk in front of me with one learner sitting on it.

I go back to my standing position. The learners keep quiet and stared at me. I look at them. Some learners are well-dressed in their uniforms. The learners are wearing white T-shirts with black pullovers with white and red lines at the end. Some learners pushed to the point of having their black tie with the school red emblem on it squishing their necks, while others are on top of their heads or hanging about on their t-shirts for formalities. What a strange combination of colours.

"Good Morning class" I greet them trying to raise my voice as much as possible.

"Morning mam" Some learners reply while others are quietly observing me.

"How are you? " I am trying to kick off my nerves and give off the impression I am the formal type of a teacher although my plain black baggy t-shirt and jeans with black and white Bathu s

2.0 shoes are betraying the formalities.

"Good and you mam?"

"I am good" I pause and turn to the clean black chalkboard. I look for white chalk on the boarding aisle but only broken pieces. I take the piece of white chalk and write on the board in capital letters, MISS NGOBENI. "I am Miss Ngobeni..."

The learners start murmuring my surname in surprise, some with disdain.

"I am miss Ngobeni. I will be your new geography teacher" I try to interject the murmuring which now roars in loud voices.

"What!" One learner burst into laughter. "Look at you, who would you teach geography? Go to primary" The back desks roar in laughter and comment in agreement. " Exactly man. She looks like my type for dating" The male learner smirked at me. I glance at the learners. They are not mixing their words or voices, they want me to recognise their rebellion. I purse my lips and place my eyes on the front and middle desks.

A learner raises her hand. I look at her.

"Mam, does it mean Mrs Ndlovu is gone? " Her voice cracks with emotion.

"Well...I don't know, I haven't met every teacher as of yet" I won't give a straight answer to the learner, I am new but I do know that she is gone, she resigned. so I was told.

"Okay mam" the learner glares at her hands.

"Mam, do you know what happened to her? " one learner whispers by my side. How did the second learner move to this desk?

"Okay, okay. I understand I am new here but here's my rule. You play nice, I play nice..."

"The principal doesn't play nice" A group of learners exclaims

"I play rough" The learner from the back comments and his entourage giggles. okay, I officially categorise them as attention seekers who put up the act of savagery and rebellion on new teachers like me.

"2nd rule, is we use English to express ourselves"

"All the time? No vernacular?" The learners anxiously ask.

"Yes," I nod.

"Noooo." They cry

"But you can not force us, this is not an English class" The same learner commented again.

"We will see about that one" I smirk with a complacent look. I need to find a way of setting my foot down because I can see him testing the waters. He grumbles. Typical!

"Now!" I clasp my hands. "Please introduce yourselves to me. let's get familiar with each other" I walk over to the first row of desks.

"Just my name? " The first learner enquires.

"Your name, and your dreams" I reply

" Come on! that is primary stuff" they complain. A learner raises their hand and I nod to show recognition.

"Mam, when you say dreams you mean? "

"Your goals, what do you want to be in future"

"Oh...okay, Can I write it on paper? " The learner asks again

"Sure" I approve and go back to the first learner.

"Really? papers for what? Are we now presenting a speech? You are too much" they murmur and keep quiet.

"My name is Lerato Madileng. My goal is to be a doctor" She sits down.

"My name is Bongwe Mulaudzi. I want to be a dentist. I think dental health is something that people in my community don't take seriously and I will be the first to be a dentist in my family and community" He sits down after his eloquent speech.

The learners continue their introductions and I mentally categorise, the focused ones, the eccentric ones, the smart but lazy ones and the clueless ones who claim to be of importance being rude jerks to teachers.

After their introduction, I introduce the topics that we are learning this term.

" We are doing climate and weather, where will be dealing with Earth's energy balance, World pressure belts, air global circulation, air masses and regional winds. Africa's weather and climate focus on drought and recertification, El Nino and La Nino. And lastly Mapwork, but mapwork as we know it is our practice." I pause to observe the surprising silence from the learners who seemed to hate my guts when I walked into the class. "Tomorrow, we are starting with the learning and teaching"

The bell rings and I leave the classroom. One down, two to go. I got this. I guess. I hope so. I breathe, how did I survive this one? I shake my head.

Two learners run after me.

"Mam, Can we talk to you after school? "

"Okay"

"Okay. See you after school" They quickly go back to their class.

mmm, I wonder what is it that they want to say. I hope it doesn't get me in trouble. I walk back to the staff room to change my books.