Chapter 30

I remember when I saw you walk in your black baggy t-shirt matching those faded blue jeans with a touch of torn parts on the left knee in the staff room, my heart skipped a beat. I wanted to know you already. When Mrs Windhoek introduced you, hearing your name reminded me of the dream that I once had. Paris, the city of love. I wanted to marry the love of my life there. That has never happened in a very long time. I had forgotten how it feels like to hold back this burning desire to just walk straight to you and say "I think I like you". That would be the weirdest thing ever. I came back from work, cut myself accidentally cutting some carrots, and burned my food because I couldn't help but replay the moment of us walking next to each other at work. I felt stupid but a part of me loved it and wanted more of it.

I saw you again and I thought using the coffee to make me appear sweet and nice I would warm into your heart. But I didn't anticipate the rush of excitement that flushed through me when you opened your mouth and accepted it with a smile. All I wanted was to stay a little longer and hold a longer conversation but I would have been seen as a pushover, so I held back.

But the universe was also devising a plan to bring us closer. A short ride to drop you to your place, followed by a beautiful accident in the car was a blessing in disguise. When your lips brushed mine, every part of my body wanted to hold you tighter and bury you in my passion for you. But a gentleman has to be witty and wise, move silently but fast and deadly as a snake. I knew that look you gave me, the words you said created space for me to maneuver my way into your life. As I had said, the universe favoured me, Marvin was an obstacle but our night drive, the first night was the mark of the new blossoms. People enjoy taking leaves and attending to their matters but who would say they got suspended and enjoyed it? This unfortunate event brought us closer, I saw your eyes sparkle and that is when I knew, I stood a chance now.

Coming back to work I only had one goal to bring you closer and make your heart skip a bit like mine. Whenever I saw you all the memories we spent together would cloud my mind. Anything relating to you now is sensitive even trivial matters. The jokes they crack, their declaration for you in secret would make me burn with anger. Inside my head, my heart you were my woman. I could see Marvin worming his way into your head, everybody working against me. I had to do something to win you.

When the rain fell, I saw it as a sign and had to knock on your door with the rain falling heavily on me. When I saw you open the door, all the sorrow and anger vanished, you were standing in front of me. I thought it was just going to be cuddles and kisses like any other day but I had gotten comfortable forgetting why I offered you my world-famous delicious coffee. I held you close as you tremble and confess your love to me. My chest tightened when I recalled the words I said to your confession, why did I deal with you this harshly when I should have been the one to confess first? The night passes while busy crumbling pieces of paper trying to find the best words to describe my feelings for you in a way that my shame is covered and the moment you said "I love you" doesn't seem like a moment of despair but a spring morning filled with the fresh scent in the air, love is in the air.

When you read my confession and embraced me I felt weak in the knees. And here I thought I would never find love again. I brushed your face and kept you in my embrace. I don't want to let go, I want all of you, give me all of you. The tenderness, the pain may I drown it. Let me be buried in your pool of passion Paris. Our relationship evolved and nothing could contain the overflowing love we have for each other. I am for you and you are for me. Rumours won't break us.

My heart stopped when I saw Isabella standing next to Mrs Windhoek. The girl that is allegedly arranged for me to wed. Torn between what to do and your warm love. But every time she laughed, my heart broke thinking about you Paris. I took sneak peeks of you and I could see your irritation, I could hear the whispers, the complacent conclusion that we failed. But my love for you is like a phoenix refusing to die, it rises from the ashes and soars high like it never faced death in the face. I saw my fingers filled with confidence sign the papers and tick resignation with immediate effect.

When did I get this bold in the face of chaos? Resigning was easy because I had nothing to lose, but saying no to my parents was the hardest decision of my life. The disappointment in their eyes pierced my heart and it ached. I had become rebellious again. But I had to remember the bigger picture. When I thought I was hopeless and in solitary, my father assured me that his love wouldn't be love if he did not support my way of love because love does not count wrongs, does not seek faults, but embraces and forgives. That is when I thought of our love, my love for you. Nights felt warmer and sweet with you. I want to stay like this, be mesmerised by your beauty.

I get nervous when you doubt my intentions. It makes me happy that you worry about my future because I know you care about me. Is this enough to take you for a long haul? I find myself holding a black tiny jewelry box.

This is it, you will never know till you give it a try.

"Paris I knew we would be here if you gave me a chance. When you walked in the first time in the staff room looking nervous and offered you my favorite coffee and accepted it with a nervous smile my heart went ba dump, ba dump. I was like who is this beautiful thief? My heart was stolen right on the spot. This is why I would be jealous when you seemed to be close with Marvin because I was scared my chances of being with you would get slimmer. But I would forget all about it when you speak to me when you step into my car. I know you said it first but I want to say something first to you too. Paris can you be my wife?" I take out a black tiny jewelry box from my trousers and flip it open.

My heart is racing, impatiently waiting for your answer. I can feel my throat becoming dry, I want to utter something but I can't overwhelm you with more words. Please say yes, please want this as much as I do. I watch you vacate the room. I bury my face in my hands. I messed up. I should have waited a little longer. Should I have met her family or introduced her to my family first? I skipped some steps yes but did I disrespect her culture in a way. I face the wall blankly. How long should I give her? I get up and clean up the table and wash the tea cups just to pass the time. I pace around the room. Will watching TV help? I shake my head. I should face this head-on. I walk up to the bedroom and quietly open the door. I scan the room and there she lies on the bed covered up to the waist. "Tch! She is sleeping" I chuckle nervously. I closed the door and go brush my teeth for the night. I can see the sweating of the shower wall, was she showering this whole time? I don't know what she is thinking. I guess I came too hard on her.

I leave the bathroom and join her in the bed. I looked at her fingers, and there it was. My lips tear a big smile. My heart is racing but because I am the happiest man alive right now. I finally found you my Paris. I planted a warm kiss on her forehead and embraced her.