16 16. A Small Affection

Guren activated his Sharingan. In front of him hung a small mirror, big enough for him to see how he looks like and it reflected how red his eyes can be. Somehow when he did check his glowing orbs, he can't activate a new ability. His eyes stayed with three tomoe, unchanging like how it had always been.

He had stood there for an hour but he can't figure out why he had failed to obtain a Mangekyo Sharingan. Then again, he was never so sure that killing Hamada would bring any changes for his Sharingan. He wasn't that precious to him because he had decided to choose Madara and that won't change. The eyes he had given to Zetsu will turn useless for now. Perhaps he'll find someone else so that he can gain a new power. Although, he wished he won't waste too much time for that.

He took a step back, revealing half of his naked top. His hands were busy tying his ponytail but his eyes didn't focus on that. They were focusing on his grim expression. He was revising a plan to put the situation under his control. Obito isn't going to 'die' soon and the worst part was being targetted by Danzo. Even if he had defeated his soldiers once, there was no telling what that old man would do next. Nonetheless, Guren firmly believed that his fight with the Root won't reach Hiruzen's ears any sooner. If he was to find out, Danzo's action within Amegakure will be stopped.

That, and Guren had to prepare for whatever questioning he was going to have. Although he had hoped Shisui's words were true regarding his father and the third hokage so that he wouldn't seat through Yamanaka's interrogation method. He believes that it'll only happen to suspicious situations whereas his was nothing more than a lost victim and was picked up by Amegakure's villagers. Unless he acts suspicious, he wouldn't have to be interrogated as such.

Guren turned around to grab his shirt and put in on. Today, he had worn a black attire. His red eyes matching with his black clothes, he thought that he looked a bit intimidating. Then his scarlet eyes spun to its normal black. A plain and dull looking child. That was what he had always been. 

*****

Today marked the end of the battle. The end of the third shinobi war. Konoha was victorious with the help of many skilled shinobi, including Uchiha Hamada although the war hero, Namikaze Minato had received more attentions. There were too many casualties. Those who were sacrificed were honoured today. They were buried under the ground while their peers and family cried. It was a gloomy day, out of all days and Sarutobi Hiruzen, the third hokage was giving his speech for the memorial service.

During his whole speech, the one that caught his eyes the most was the proud and indifferent child, Uchiha Guren. He was none other than a victim of war. Or to be exact, his father was. And there he was standing like nothing can break him.

"Oh poor boy."

"Look, he didn't even shed a tear."

"What kind of a son is he?"

"Uchiha Hamada wasted his life. He could've been so much better if he had married to another noble."

It was hypocritical if he was to say that the villagers are horrible after spitting those insults. They have always been barking with no bite. Unlike Guren, who straight out murdered his own father. Inhumane. What they said about Guren being a bad son was true. The fact that he didn't even spare his father a tear, hah, what a devil.

Guren's eyes were staring down at the name carved on the stone. 'Uchiha Hamada' it said. And there were unnecessary words he refused to read. Only that name was enough and he wanted to leave fast but he knew he can't do that. It was improper and not to mention, Uchiha Hamada had once became a part of his life. At least Hamada was once an existence he had acknowledged as a father eventhough it wasn't enough for him to immediately gain a Mangekyo Sharingan.

Even after the people had moved away from the funeral and scattered, Guren stayed. His eyes never left the stone of his father's. Then he blinked, muttering something under his breath before he was approached by a hoarse, a voice of an elderly.

"Uchiha Hamada was a remarkable man."

Guren glanced to his right, tilting his head a little as an act of respect. Then he met the hokage with a faint smile, a weak one that was almost invisible. "Yes, he was."

"I feel sorry for your loss." Hiruzen supressed a sigh.

He had faced this plenty of times, trying to console his comrades, his village's children and shinobi alike and everytime he did, he felt like he had carry their sadness in him as well. He loves the village as well as the people in it and he wouldn't mind if he was the one to offer his own life.

Uchiha Hamada was also a part of this village and Hiruzen can't help feeling devastated. It was his fault for sending the man away despite the fact that Hamada had already asked to quit. The only thing he can do is provide Guren his supervision and at least, grants him wishes if there is need be.

"I know that he was your only family but do not let this discourage you. You have a bright future ahead."

"Yes."

Hiruzen couldn't make out what the boy was thinking as he had a strong facade and never really spoke a lot. He was reminded of Hamada and how he was a man of few words. Like father like son. That was when he had pulled out an envelope, a letter Hamada had personally requested to be given to his son.

Guren raised an eyebrow to Hiruzen's gesture. An envelope was offered in front of him, waiting to be taken away. "Before your father had went to battle, he left me this."

Slowly, the boy reached out his hand and took the white envelope into his hand. He was looking a bit contemplative towards it but he shared his simple words of gratitude almost immediately.

"Now, i have works still need to be completed. Go and rest, Guren. Shisui would be there if you ever need anything and he will directly report to me if it's the least i can do for you."

With that, Hiruzen went away.

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Guren took a seat beside Hotaru. The girl had been clinging onto him eversince he had arrived at Hanako's, whining how long it has been since the last time Guren came to visit. Guren didn't mind her or to be more accurate, he just didn't know how exactly he can distract the girl away. Luckily, Hotaru isn't the kind of girl that would make people annoyed. Rather, she's a sweet child who likes to cuddle only to him. He gave up after a few attempts.

After settling himself into a comfortable position, Guren slowly unsealed the letter from its envelope and began to read.

'Dear son, if you're reading this it means that i'm no longer by your side.'

The first sentence proved that they were indeed written by Uchiha Hamada. Guren was familiar with his writing style as he had read a few notes the man had left if he had a notice for his son. He continued.

'I wrote this letter thinking that i might not be able to see you again.

First of all, i want to apologise for what i have done. I have been very irresponsible towards you. I neglected my role of being your father.

Have we ever had a proper conversation? Everytime we spoke, it always turned out short. But i never despise any moments of it. I understand if you do because it was my fault that i tend to be away from you.'

"Brother Guren, sorry to disturb you but can you lend me your lap?"

Guren's tucked his lips upwards, smiling softly towards the little girl, "Sorry Hotaru but i need to read this. Are you sleepy? You can lean on my shoulder if you want."

The girl returned his smile and immediately put her head on his shoulder.

'I have never told you about your mother have I? I hope you do not feel any grudges towards her. She was a great woman. Her name is Akai Natsuno. Beautiful is it not? She was a civilian i met at the Yamanaka's flower shop. You have been there once but you were so small at the time. She was a helper there. You see, Guren is a name she had given to you with hope you will grow strong and healthy. And you did. Although i think you overdid yourself.

I used to be like you. I was the hope of my family and it made me feel like i was an object, simply to be use as a subject of reputation and honour. I do not want you to feel the same way i did. Unloved, chained by burden. So i thought it will be best if you did not learn to become a shinobi. However, you had another plan and by the time i know it, you have gotten far deeper into this world.

I was worried and even now, i still do. I will not stop worry for you as you are my one and only son.'

Guren paused, his lips were put in a thin line. At this point on, he didn't know if he can trust what he had read. He wanted to scoff and throw that piece of paper away but curiousity got the best of him. He wanted to go through to the end, to find out what his father had to say.

'I did not get to tell you but Guren, you are our pride. Both me and Natsuno's. Whatever you choose in your life, i hope you will be happy. Do not waver and be strong so that you can protect your loved ones. I know you are determine to fulfill your dream. I just hope you would not endanger yourself. I apologise again for the things i could not do as a father.

I am not good with words and Natsuno has scolded me a lot for that.

But son, do know that i will always love you.

Sincerely, Hamada.'

There wasn't any word that Guren could think of. He repeatedly read the last paragraph as if seeking for validation. His body trembled, shaking as if he was supressing his feelings, earning Hotaru's attention. The paper was crumpled and he held it in tightly in his grip. His eyes glaring forward as Hotaru called for his name.

Guren look to his right, quickly faking a smile towards the sad looking girl. She had an obvious frown on her face as she cupped her cousin's face with both of her small hands. "What's wrong, Guren?"

He slightly tilted his head to the side in confusion.

Hotaru was unsatisfied, "You're crying."

Guren had his eyes widened in surprise. His fingers immediately traced his own face, feeling the liquid that was continuously falling down his cheek. He realised he had been crying in front of the child. He tried to suppress the overwhelmed sorrow but failed, resulting to another heartache that he couldn't control.

"I'm a bad person, Hotaru." he murmured, the corner of his lips tugged slightly upwards in a mocking way.

"No you're not." she said, patting his back as she wiped the tear at the corner of her eyes. "You're the kindest  guy i've ever met."

He was ashamed but at the same time, he refused to deny that his path was wrong. Truly, his father was at fault for being awkward but if he ever thought that Guren had hated him for that, then he was dead wrong. If Guren had to be honest, the one he despise is himself.

The tears that fell down were a mix of guilt and doubt towards himself. Despite the tears that was shed, Guren kept trying to stay calm and tried not to let his feelings took over. His pride won't let him do so.

After what felt like an hour passed, he finally calmed down. Hotaru who had her eyes bawled out, also followed suit. When Guren felt like he could finally regain his composure, he turned to meet with the girl's eyes, earning her look of awe.

"Do i look ugly?" Guren asked. Of course he was. He bet his puffy eyes were as bad as hers.

However, Hotaru shook her head in denial as she pointed a finger towards Guren. "Your eyes look beautiful today, Guren."

"My eyes?" Suddenly, he could feel a surge of chakra flowing through his eyes. Even without checking it, he had known what it was. What a strange occurence. He had realised it a bit late and he didn't know how he should react. His heart wasn't sorted out properly, he didn't feel as excited as he think he would be. He thought he won't be able to gain the Mangekyo Sharingan but Madara knows better.

He knew that Guren is easily attached to people. That Guren is softhearted and able to get people into his heart easily. And the most significant point is that he realised that Uchiha Hamada wasn't a person who only existed in his life but also, someone he held dear through those five years of living. The time they spent together was short but it was meaningful. Too bad he had to let go all of that now. He won't regret what he did and just like what Hamada desires, Guren will pursue the goal in his life.

He sighed, thinking how well Madara had known him. "Hotaru, lets keep this a secret between us." He whispered to the three years old girl and she agreed in exchange of spending his time with her for the next few days.