Chapter 245: Chaotic Reunion 2

R͇e͇e͇n͇c͇u͇e͇n͇t͇r͇o͇ ͇C͇a͇ó͇ó͇t͇i͇c͇o͇ ͇2͇

Since I saw Kanon, at the first instant it was clear to me, no....long before I already had it clear since I came back, no.....still long....long before, since I implanted the idea, the miracle that if one day I could return to my home, I would have to face face to face with that harassment I suffered for many years, to that abuse I came to be afraid of, to that nightmare that always sought me in my dreams and even conscious. Every time I remembered how my relationship with that person was, so many bad words, so much mockery, so much contempt towards me without any reason. .....

It is obvious, isn't it? When I was a child I thought that there were good people and bad people, there was only that division, between good and evil, in the position I was in I did not identify myself with any of the sides, I was not good enough to be on that side, nor was I bad enough for the other, it was just like being in the middle. It was a problem that I thought about at the time, but in the end it was only a passing thought in the daily thoughts of a small child.

Now that I have grown up and gone through many things that I never thought to be, my way of thinking of that time became more and more noticeable, that the question came unexpectedly in my mind, and since a long time ago I already gave the answer to that doubt that I did not even care but that achieved a great change in me. And the answer was .... malice, with the passage of time I learned that no matter if that person is very good, if he is pure, if he calls himself the holiest, he will always have a little bit of malice inside him, depending on the level of malice he has, he will do bad things according to his criteria. There is no such thing as a pure person, there is no such thing as a saint, there is no such thing as a person who really likes everything about herself, she will always, always go back the other way, that in many moments you will like to do them, because that is the only option there is to feel better. In simpler words that just occurred to me can be defined as: whims or cravings.

『*sigh* It was just a nightmare, if one day I see him again, I'll pay you back for all those years you wanted to see me suffer, it will be my turn to make fun of you now.....』

I still remember clearly those words I said on that occasion, no.....since before I was already looking forward to that moment, irritation, hatred, strength, contempt, and a lot of things more I have to be able to express myself now that I am no longer as I was before, if the moment comes to happen, I will start mocking you in the best possible way, believing that you have the power of everything, that better fool, who believes that things go as he wants from the beginning, when in reality it is not so.

M already had it clear, I hope a lot for this moment that the desire for it to happen was making his heart beat fast, when he saw Kanon, she would be claiming to look him in the eyes in a while, idiot, from the first instant, M had already stared at his face, eyes, soul, because you can not destroy something, without clearly seeing your target.

『(First.....)』

M started shaking from head to toe, he was being afraid, that was what he wanted to represent at this very moment, that his body could not control it, that the feeling was much stronger than his self-control, and it was true, M was not shaking from fear that was the plan, the real reason why his body was shaking, was because he could not measure himself, his whole body at the first instant he saw Kanon, was to be able to hit him back with a blow, all those years of suffering he did to him. M was so focused on not getting out of control so that his plan would go perfectly, he did not pay attention to anything else, except for his closest friends, Rino and Menhera who realized what was really happening, maybe because they had already studied it, but one realizes the others, their motives, reasons and way of thinking, the situation, because one has lived it before, and knows the feeling of being in the position of that person.

With this in mind, Rino and Menhera, decided not to intervene in the face of what was about to happen, that there is no better change of oneself, than by one's own initiative.

『(Second....)』

M began to listen clearly to Kanon's words, every letter, every thing that came out of that mouth, was perfectly heard by M. Before in elementary school, M always, although he avoided it, did not escape the words that Kanon told him that was what hurt him more than physical abuse, it is more.....almost never Kanon abuse in that way, he always hit the morale and the little self-esteem that one had, rare was when Kanon decided to hit someone, of course, he was never in a predicament that needed violence. This listening carefully would serve for later, to spit in his face about his very reprehensible attitude.

『(Third....)』

I would start to want to talk so that she still believes that she has control of the environment, this would also come along with calling Kanon's attention from the beginning, in telling her to stop doing what she was doing. That she believes that impone.....now she must be more sure of herself than a while ago, that suits me perfectly, I will take advantage of the few pauses she makes to try to talk, but I'm not really going to say anything.....there it is again, I lied again with ease. Actually if.....si I want to tell you many things that would not suffice one day, so I ask you, you are one of those people who like to talk but not listen, surely you did not think that I would one day correct you that bad attitude you have among all the crap you have, so I ask you, finish at once, and let me tell you everything from these years.

『(Room....)』

And now it only remains to wait, wait while I try to keep my composure, because if I don't, I will surely end up killing her internally, I feel that destroying a soul is easy, the worst punishment is not death, if not to feel that being dead inside and keep living with it, that's the punishment I want to give to this person I have in front of me, who keeps talking , keeps saying incoherent things for her advantage to get away with it all this time, I hate people who invent any bragging to make everything go well for her, for me to die? Before if maybe I would have thought about it, but before, from me it won't be words, but the act itself.

M was trembling and fell to his knees on the ground apparently defeated, Kanon kept talking as he wanted, Lys who was also watching had realized what was happening, that every time he saw him again, he was excited about what kind of humiliation he would receive, Lys told herself that you can not change what is already prescribed, and that's true, only a few can change history itself, few have that influence on the existence of others. That is how the law of life should be, no matter how many times it is repeated, it should be the same story. But because someone has been restarting over and over and over again, the story is different until there is another restart, that's why Lys said it's different and if it was the same it would be really boring, that it wouldn't be here anymore, none of us would be here. Will Kanon ever be successful? I don't know, but what I do know is that he wants it to happen again and again at every turn, he wants to succeed in everything possible and always, that was always his word, you have to see that this point is very crucial for the growth of this boy named Yashiro, that no matter how many times the story is restarted to get here, M somehow, he will always end up getting his way, because.....is necessary for the final battle against Xerzene, the humiliation and total defeat of an innocent.

『You're done?』

My blood was starting to boil, I wanted to continue to control myself so as not to overdo it with her, although the desire to do so was of course not lacking. Half of the plan went perfectly, Kanon is confident that you don't expect a back attack, back? no, for a better defeat your opponent, it's always straight and direct, because that's the best view to see how you humiliate the one you hate the most.

『No....you wanted to know what I meant by that, well stay with the desire, I want that after what I tell you, you still think I'm the Yashiro you knew』.

Even I'm scared, it's like my tone of voice has become meaner so to speak, I really felt like laughing like never before because of what I'm about to do, I've never been so prepared in my life, I can't stop clenching my fist that I feel like they're going to start bleeding, my eyes feel like they're going to explode from the excitement of what I'm about to do, I don't know why, but I feel that something bad wants to happen to me, Hiro told me about the ashes once, everything that is happening to me is the same as the silly way he described it, it also reminds me of the attitude when the parasite ended up possessing me. Is it okay for me to feel so much joy ....? Of course it is, because it's my turn to show the face of the one that I doubt so much.

When I finally looked up, there was nothing strange, I managed to control myself and relax, I was even with a little smile, since no matter when I forced myself, it still comes out my true intentions, and I was even more glad, that Kanon didn't notice.

『What do you have? And that smile you're wearing? Do you want to laugh? You think this is funny? EH?!!!! Do you laugh at all the bad things I say to you? EHHH?!!!!! What have we come to, oh, I know! What a fool I was, as the phrase goes, you'd rather laugh than cry, wouldn't you? You ran out of tears without starting first? EH!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HOW PATHETIC YOU ARE, THAT'S WHY YOU CAME BACK? JUST TO COME OUT WORSE THAN BEFORE? WHAT A LOUSY JOKE! PESIMA PESIMA PESIMA PESIMA why don't you..... make a little more effort to defend-------------』

Something weird happened at that moment, from the silly smile that M had, and stared at Kanon, in just a second, no.....much less time, M's expression changed radically, to a look of extreme hatred, the contrast of that expression was enough for Kanon to stop his words, but when he realized it, M had the silly smile again from earlier, making what before, a simple imagination of his mind.

Kanon was worried about this, that she turned to look at her other classmates to see if the others noticed, if they saw the same thing as her, but no, they all acted normal.

『(A simple imagination? Yes.....that must be....it's impossible, isn't it? That Yashiro, I got that expression in his eyes. Since he was always, that shy and weak child who took refuge in everyone)』

Menhera who also managed to see him, was frightened for a few moments, but then returned to her usual expression. She was also frightened by the sudden change that her friend underwent, she could not believe it either, that really that boy who trusted her when they were small, weak, shy, without strength, who distrusted most people, had put that look on his face for nothing. Menhera asked from the depths of his being, that it has been a thing of his mind.

『What a pleasure to see you again Kanon *smiles* I see you're still the same as before, what a joy indeed, to see you again after so long, joy, what a joy indeed *smiles*....』

Yashiro's words at first were normal, like giving a greeting to the one he hadn't seen in many years and had a great desire to see him. Kanon to this was silent, that I don't suspect that now if he can speak properly.

『I see that you finally left dyslexia, yes, I am also happy to see you again after a long time, do you know why? Although it is more than clear, because you are here, and I will be able to resume what I thought I had finished, my homework is not finished, how annoying isn't it? Making you believe that it's right when it's really wrong, how disgusting, really.....YASHIROYOU'RE DISGUSTING!!!! WHAT WAS THAT BEFORE!!! NOW YOU'RE SMILING AS IF NOTHING HAPPENED!!!! DON'T SCARE ME LIKE THAT! NOW THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO TAKE REFUGE IN? TO SMILE AND ACCEPT IT INSTEAD OF CRYING AND DENYING???? again I tell you, so little do you love yourself? EHH?!!!!! I was hoping you would change a little bit, BUT NO!!!!! YOU DIDN'T LEARN ANYTHING IN YOUR SHIT, FOR SURE THEY SAVED YOU, THEY PROTECTED YOU, YOU TOOK REFUGE IN THE BACKS OF OTHERS!!!! Sure that if you made friends, but knowing you I see it difficult, you are one of those people who only wait for things to happen, either for good or bad, you never had the will to make your own way in your life, THAT IS THE FIRST THING THAT ONE MUST NEVER FORGET!!!! WHO ELSE IS GOING TO MAKE YOUR LIFE, WHO IS GOING TO CARE ABOUT YOU IF YOU DON'T EVEN DO SOMETHING FOR YOURSELF!!!!! Here you will have had your family, your few friends!!!! What good will that do you if one day you go!!!! That's why we grow and learn!!! to be able to take care of ourselves in this huge and gigantic world!!!!! You left and what? You cried because you were alone? you made a ball because you couldn't do something? you didn't take the last step to achieve it? EH?!!!! ANSWER SHIT!!! DON'T BE QUIET!!!! most likely you were really lonely and everything we know about your "story" is really something you made up to boost your weak ego and self esteem, if you were really with someone, it was for sure out of pure sorrow!!!! NOBODY!!! IN LIFE!!! ANYONE WOULD WANT TO BE WITH YOU!!!! A DUMB LOSER WHO STARTS CRYING AND MOPING AROUND!!!!!!』

When I heard the last thing he said, I noticed only that, as I couldn't help but remember a certain moment in my life that actually marked me a lot until I lost it.

『BEING WITH YOU IS LIKE HAVING TO CARRY A WEIGHT ON TOP OF YOU!!!! A DEAD WEIGHT THAT DOESN'T DO ANYTHING FOR HIM OR ANYONE ELSE!!!!!! STOP CAUSING PROBLEMS FOR OTHERS!!!! WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY!!!! BECAUSE NOBODY REALIZES THE HARM THAT ALL THIS IS CAUSING US!!!! AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!』

Again there was that expression of M, that one full of great hatred, that will have been the reason why Kanon finally screamed, she already more sure that in reality if she saw it and it was not a figment of her imagination, she happened to see scared and worried to her companions, that seeing that nothing happened nor said anything, she without hesitation as always was, she would tell everyone what she saw.

『Enseriously didn't see it!!!! Yashiro's expression changed!!!!! COME THE FUCK ON!!! NOBODY!!! ENSERIO!!???? YOU ARE A COUPLE OF BLIND IDIOTS!!! i'm not crazy or anything!!!! I REALLY SAW IT!!!! YA'S EXPRESSION--』

Kanon who was pointing and pointing with his finger, quickly, without her noticing, her arm was grabbed by M's hand, this also left her scared as she did not notice this, M did not say anything, he just kept quietly holding on to Kanon's arm, but there was no intention to remove it. Kanon was going to withdraw forcing himself to be in a better place, but in there, M would return his question from earlier.

『Look me in the eyes』.

With nothing more to add, M said that, Kanon already began to suspect already, to realize that everything before, may not have been a simple illusion, just as M said, she began to look him straight in the eyes without looking away, since that was what he was asking her, Kanon felt uncomfortable and that something bad was going to happen, but after so much claiming the same to Yashiro, she now at his request and finding what she was looking for, she had no choice but to also look him straight in the eyes.

『I won't stand listening to you anymore, I was going to let you talk more to make you gain confidence, but from the moment you stopped messing with me, it already became more personal, you don't know what happened to me』.

M started to make more strength in his grip that Kanon started to tease him about this, but there was no more escape from what would be about to happen, M already has him where he wanted him, he prepared everything for this moment to finally, pay him back for everything he did to him, he won't hesitate to humiliate him like never before.

『You talk and talk and talk and talk *sigh* Don't you get tired of talking so much? I just came back and I already remember your detestable voice, that filthy, dirty, repulsive you that you have, that as a child I was so afraid of, what a fool I was right? like you said, I was afraid of such minuscule things, compared to what I am now, to me you are just a bunch of people, who I don't care what happens to you, but anyway you will get the little attention you want, because that's what you wanted with these years, isn't it? To be in the sight of everyone and that they talk only about you, that's why you did things that others don't, you repeated it thousands of times that we looked at you that we got fed up, you were not afraid of anything and that at first I admired, but now I think how silly you were not to be afraid, if you don't know fear, how do you think you can improve? It's not a weakness, it's a strength, all the damage you caused me I'm going to pay you back, bit by bit, I listened to you for all these years, you won't mind listening to me now, will you? You never back down unlike me, do you?

To my already more direct words getting to the point, Kanon at first if all the while was straining to get out of my grip, but when I told her the last thing, she just stood still, and with a sweat on her face, she would look at me without taking her eyes off me.

『That's right, I.... won't flinch.... 』

『*smiles* Good girl good girl, true to your words as it should be, you better keep it up, because I'm not going to have mercy on you, little piece of shit that you are』-This is where Yashiro would also release everything he held back these years-『Pure insults to the trash, what did you do it for? It made you feel better to humiliate someone weaker than you? tell me, it made you feel good to have to, over and over again, reproach that person for everything bad, and all with the excuse that you're doing it for us? Who is going to believe you trash, making fun of someone worse than you, only makes you a worse person, think about it, what was the need to be harassing every day a person who had insecurities, shyness! FEAR! SHAME! HE HAD JUST LOST HIS GRANDMOTHER!!!! HIS PET!!! SHE WENT TO LIVE IN AN UNKNOWN PLACE!!!! THAT BEFORE THAT HIS COUSINS WHO ARE SUPPOSED TO BE HIS FAMILY!!!! HAVE HARASSED HIM JUST AS MUCH AND EVEN WORSE THAN WHAT YOU DID TO ME!!!! HUMILIATING SOMEONE AS PATHETIC AS I WAS BEFORE, really made you feel good? from the beginning you were worse and inferior to me, as a kid I hated myself for many things, I still have that thought, for being an idiot and not realizing such obvious things as being bullied by a shit like you!!!! FUCK!!!! THAT'S HOW IT IS!!! I hate myself!!!! I hate myself!!! I wish I had died!!! I wish I never existed!!! I'm a scumbag!!!! What you did to me on that day of high school entrance, I will never forget, congratulations! *So what? If your goal was to repeat what you did on that occasion, you're an idiot, you can't do the same thing twice if the other already knows it, I already accepted that day long before, that boy you humiliated and destroyed now became this boy who will no longer be humiliated by trash like you, that's in the past, from sadness and grief you learn, what's wrong? you thought it was like before? well it's not like that, while you were in your little world, in your home, with a good family where your parents never argued and never separated, a good home, a little brother who loves and admires you, I had to give up for no reason what little I had left, yes I was afraid, I wanted to cry, I wanted to surrender, that's obvious SHIT!!! I was still the kid you destroyed, but you know what? I didn't give up, I wanted to live, I wanted to be a different person now that life gave me another chance, from the beginning I tried to create a personality that would be defined in the future, leaving behind the Yashiro you knew, fights, encounters, conflicts, death, destruction, affection, love, friendship, friends, chaos, harmony, malice, sorrow, madness, contempt, etc, etc, I knew in my own flesh all the meaning of those words, and what happened? I overcame them all, I kept walking even with all the weight you placed on me, the wounds healed, the chains were loosened, and I could finally meet my true self, the person who is talking to you now is M, the Yashiro boy you knew is no longer here, I must thank you, because if it weren't for you, I would never have made the decision to want to improve myself』.

The first part of his speech of M, was to tell how he changed in his journey and what he is now, it was like the scoop for Kanon to realize that he is no longer dealing with the little Yashiro, but now it is M who he has in front of him, and that at any time he can do whatever he pleases with him, without him realizing it and unexpectedly, the roles were exchanged. But Kanon, even with all this, which he had not yet started, did not take his eyes off M.

『You influenced me a lot in my life, I must accept that too, because after all, you were the one who helped me take my first steps *smiles* 』 』

Kanon didn't expect these words, M.... no, Yashiro said it with a fondness from inside, Kanon to this did not avoid getting a little sentimental and embarrassed by those words of Yashiro, but it was only a few seconds, as quickly Kanon would confirm what before, that expression filled with hatred in M, at that moment, Kanon really for the first time, felt like running away, but M kept grabbing him tightly, he had never felt this, his hand was filled with a great strength that even his veins began to be marked, and the expression of "I'm not done yet" was present.

『You always insulted me like a little child, saying for sure words you heard from adults, it shows how childish you were on many occasions, but they always hit my soul as you knew how to mold it in a way, that seemed to make sense, they say better damage, than from your own self』-『YOU ARE SHIT!!!!! YOU'RE A PIECE OF CRAP!!!! SO HARDCORE YOU WERE AND STILL ARE WITH CONTINUING TO MAKE ME FEEL BAD!!!! EH!!!!! YOU'RE THE WORST THING IN THE WORLD!!! I WISH I HAD EVERYTHING GOOD THAT I WISH I HAD WHEN I WAS A KID, BUT YOU DESPISE IT LIKE IT'S NOTHING!!!! YOU DON'T VALUE THE GOOD THINGS YOU HAVE AND THAT MAKES YOU THE WORST PERSON THERE IS!!!! YOU ARE NOT TOLERANT! YOU HAVE NO CHARISMA! YOU ARE NOT FUNNY! YOU ARE BAD AT EVERYTHING YOU DO!!!! YOU LIKE TO DRAW ATTENTION TO YOURSELF? THEN GO!!! DO YOU WANT TO BE REMEMBERED? SO GO! GO TO THAT FOREST AND MAYBE YOU WILL MAKE US FEEL SOMETHING!!!! But tell me something, do you really think that after what you have done to all of us, the way you treated us? Do we really feel empathy for you? When was the last time someone was with you, don't you remember? I knew it, no one in their right mind wanted to be with someone who despises them without any more power, no one loves you, your parents love you because they are your parents! but they themselves know that you are a detestable and stale person that I wish they would have had another child, your brother should have been the only child in the family, unlike you, that child deserves what he has, not like you, you are a horrible piece of shit, your family is with you because they are your parents and brother, even if they don't want it, they should be helping you, tell me now who feels sorry for you? The only people you really trust only see you as a nuisance and detest you, but with the way you even treat your family, do you really trust them? you see them as strangers? oh I know! you are adopted!!! that makes a lot of sense, how did I not realize before that you were in the wrong family!!!! hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha what a fucking laugh!!!! BUT WHAT A SHITTY FACE YOU HAVE!!!! HOW DID I NOT REALIZE BEFORE!!!! are you really a girl? HOW UGLY YOU ARE!!!!! KILL YOURSELF AND BE BORN AGAIN, SHIT IF YOU IMPROVE A LITTLE BIT!!!!! And on top of that you wear a skirt? don't you look in the mirror? I FELT LIKE THROWING UP EVERY TIME I SAW YOU!!!! YOU ALWAYS GAVE OFF A SHITTY SMELL, DID YOU EVEN TAKE A BATH? WHAT DISGUSTING!!! BUAGG!!!!! and your personality, do I have to go on with that? NOT EVEN IF THE SHITTY FASHIONABLE VIEW SHIT STAYS!!!! It doesn't matter if in the future you try to change, I will never accept you and I will keep treating you this same way, because that's what you deserve!!!!! YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW!!!! I hope you're happy with the result, now that I'm back it's my turn to do what I want with you, I'm within my rights, right? I'm not holding anything back now, that's what you wanted right? to defend myself!!! to attack!! to attack!! to not hesitate!!! I GREW THE FUCK UP SO WELL! !!!! Every time we meet, even if you try to escape, I will not let you run away, I will remind you how shitty you have always been, I will humiliate you to the level that you will never be able to answer me, I will crush your little brain, I will shatter your heart, I will make your life hell!!!! I'LL MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING HELL!!! I'LL MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING HELL, I'LL MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING HELL!!!! Why not easy? If it is "supposed" it is "supposed" that you are better than me, you will manage to do it without difficulty, ufffff, I want to see how the other days develop to know how I will humiliate you, I will hit your moral, your being, do not worry about the blows or fists, I will not do it unless I am forced, you in that part you respected me at least, but in the rest if I will not have compassion, so what I want to know now that we finally fix things WHY ARE YOU CRYING!!!! EH!!!!』

After all that undoing of M towards Kanon, he really didn't measure his words and the damage he can cause, because he didn't even think about it, he from a second decided to let everything out without hiding anything. Kanon kept looking straight into M's eyes, in all this, he never looked away, not even when he was crying, his tears spilling and falling to the ground like an open pipe, he did not look away from M.

Kanon no longer made strength to free herself, she was so weak that it made me think for the first time after so long, it was the first time I feel her as a woman, this weak, without strength, crying, woman? no.... at that moment she reminded me of me, of Yashiro, like any movement she makes, she will collapse, she will break, and that....

Kanon was crying, I was left wondering if everything I told her was really necessary or I must have overdone it a little bit, but I don't know.....although I told her a small part of everything I had in mind, I don't feel satisfied, I need something more.....something more to feel fulfilled.....but what is....what is.....

When I looked back into Kanon's eyes, she had her other arm free, her right one, which she raised and I could already feel her charging it with strength to slap me across the face, but her tears kept falling to the ground as her blow came towards me. Seeing her resort to physical harm for the first time, let me know that I had really cornered her to such an extent that this is how she reacted.

Pom.....Kanon was surprised, because maybe she did not expect this, maybe nobody expected this, but M with her free arm, this protected herself from Kanon's fist, she blocked Kanon's slap thanks to her reflexes. And at that very moment, with the arm that had held her, M managed to hit Kanon in the face, causing her to fall to the ground in surprise.

The whole room was silent after this, even Kanon who finally stopped crying from the shock of the moment, she was afraid, for the first time she was afraid, of the person she tried with her own words, to save. Kanon turned to look directly into M's eyes again, and saw on his face, a wicked smile, of joy, a face of pure evil, enjoying this moment.

『You're.....you look like a villain....that face...scary』.

Kanon a las justas could say those words, while watching as M laughed lightly with an expression of a complete madman with judgment of his own, he did not fall to the ashes, nor is he possessed by a parasite, he was the same M we all know, showing his malice, his whim, his whimsy towards the person he hates most in the world.

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