House Pests With Gifts

"Go get it!"

My owner shouted standing on our new light orange sofa with his dirty shoes and a pillow held to his chest. I just sat there eating my food ignoring him, that was for disturbing my beautiful dream in the morning. He thought he could just escape the consequences? It doesn't work like that!

"Lyman you shall listen to me as I am your owner!"

I lifted my head in disinterest, looked at him, then at the little rat, back to my food. I chewed on the very same cat bites I dreamt about. At least one thing in the dream came true.

"I'll reduce your meal to four times a day!"

Not doing it for me.

"Three times!"

I shall not give in.

"Two times!"

That's it!

I abandoned my delicious food and went to the rat. I saw it running around the neighbourhood, actually, I knew it.

"Rob. Just go please. Don't jeopardize my chance of having five meals a day." I told him shooing him away. I could have just scared him off but rats like him were just hustling for food and it gets worse being regarded as a pest.

"Promise you'll help me when I need it?" That was a promise I was not ready to make.

You see, to humans it looked like I meowed trying to scare the rat away while it squeaked protesting. That was actually the case but humans couldn't understand that we were actually talking.

"Rob just get out of here."

"See Lym, I'm in a really bad place. I'll need your help only once in the future. Or you can refuse and I'll bring the whole gang of rats from South.

Not the rats from South. Those rats were like rabid dogs. They destroyed your house without recognition. Who wants to chase over fifty rats around the house! Two words, Not. Me. I'd rather sleep all day than do cat labour.

" Fine." I groaned.

"Thanks Lym." He called out as he scurried away.

"Don't call me that." I hissed.

He went out the back door and I went back to eating my meal. My owner came down of our now dirtied couch from jumping around it just because of a little rat. I couldn't believe him! He acted like such a baby sometimes. That guy could even hold snakes and crocodiles, I've seen him do it so I have visual confirmation. And when a small rat comes in he jumps up the sofa like the floor was lava. I scoffed.

"Lyman you did very good today." My owner said.

"For that I will get you that red yawn and red ball you've been wanting for so long."

I almost danced around in the house like a cat gone nuts. I've really wanted those two toys and I would practically drool every time we passed the toy store on our short walks.

Satisfied I went back to eating thinking about My Jess.

...............

Jess was not out yet, I noticed as I passed by her house. We were going on a walk with my owner. We did that on some days, some days we didn't. It helped me get exercise since I didn't want to get fat with all the food my owner fed me.

I was just walking peacefully when a force dragged me down. Looking back I saw it was my owner, tripped by a crack in the side walk that he sometimes failed to see. He had fallen down, and I would have laughed if not for the fact it was becoming pathetic, stupid and just sad. Also he was literally squeezing my poor neck with the rope by the force he was pulling it with.

I could confidently say if he continued to disregard the crack on the side walk he would have a broken leg, or hand, or also back, in the next month or so. Who would feed me the multiple meals per day if he had a broken leg, or hand, or even back!

I guess I had to take care of him more often too. If he broke either of those three parts of his body he wouldn't be able to go to the store to get my necessities. Good thing he worked from home on his computer otherwise our financial status would be as bad as Rob's.

He stood up dusting himself off and laughed to himself, muttering unintelligible words under his breathe. I saw the way people looked at him funny and I started to back away. I didn't want to be known as the cat of a crazy person who seemed like he was on crack. I had never even had crack! When people see you as crazy, you and all the people you know go down, including pets! I didn't want to be seen as crazy.

We continued on, thankfully, and rounded the corner. I felt giddy noticing we were getting closer and closer to the toy store. I even had a skip on my step. For one I would be getting the gift of my dreams. Two you'll know pretty soon.

I felt irritated. That moment when your owner stops to talk to a friend. His name was Barney, and he had a dog. A very vicious dog. He kept the dog locked up since the last time he broke him loose let's just say some pets almost died. Dog control almost took his dog away until he promised to keep it locked up.

Barney was saying something about my owners glasses being broken. He must have broken them after he fell. They continued their useless conversation of how he was looking for someone to stay with his dog. Who would actually agree! Even my owner wasn't that stupid!

My owner pulled on my leash and next thing I know we were getting nearer and nearer to the toy store. I wanted the toys to play with them almost all day long. But most importantly, to give one to Jess. And yes, you heard me right, fortunately.