1 Chapter 1

It's August 17th, 2020. It's been exactly 24 days since my world shattered into millions of shards. Shards that incessantly rip at me, bringing forth the purest form of misery and agony. I rubbed at my skin, where I felt the most recent tear, but there was no blood, no wound. I closed my eyes and took several deep breaths, I have to get a hold of myself. It wasn't my fault, that wasn't me.

I walked down the saddened and seemingly dark hallway. I looked at the posters of his face, the black balloons that hung from various lockers, and then HIS locker. Students congregated and took turns, putting down multiple items. I ducked my head, trying to escape the scene before me, but of course, that wasn't my luck. Maybe this was the universe's way of punishing me for my sins. I looked at my bloodshot eyed best friend. Her skin was pale as if someone had drained all the blood from her tiny body, her hair in a tangled bun. Her eyes were what had me crumbling the most. They broadcasted a defunct soul.

" Where have you been?" She questioned, her voice slightly breaking. I couldn't face her, not after what I've done, so I kept my distance. I told her I was busy preparing for college or pulling double shifts at my local grocery store. I couldn't look at her and play the role of the doting best friend, helping her through her grief, not when I caused it.

" You didn't even come to the funeral." She said, gasping and gripping her heart through his letterman jacket.

" I needed you." She said, tears escaping her abyss. I was there, just not in the general population, I didn't deserve to be there.

" I got sick, didn't want to spread it. " I said, trying to defend my putrid actions. She nodded then turned to walk away, I felt another rip in my skin and bit back my scream. I sighed at the bell and moved soullessly down the corridor to my class. I hate this, I hate all of this. I will forever rue that day, the day I became an anomaly.

**************

I looked up at the sky, inhaling profoundly and smiling at the salty smell that hugged my nostrils. I love the beach, it's always been my favorite place. I dug my toes into the sand, loving the feel of the small grains brushing against my skin.

" Earth to Harlow," Rose said as she kicked sand at my legs with a giggle. I rolled my eyes and flipped her off.

" What do you want, Rose?" I asked and diverted my sight to the short bundle of mischief.

" Jeremy and I are getting ice cream, I already told him what you wanted." She said as she took a seat beside me.

" One scoop cookie dough and the other chocolate." She said, and I nodded with a smile.

" You really should try something new, speaking of something new." She said and rolled over unto her side and wiggled her brows. I groaned, already knowing where this conversation was heading.

" The new girl at your job seems pretty hot and, more importantly, interested." She said and tapped me with her free arm.

" What, she's not interested," I said and sat up putting my head between my knees, I had a slight throbbing sensation suddenly.

" She definitely is, how can you not see it, I could see the energy between you two ." She announced, making me wince. The throbbing in my head kept increasing, I took a deep breath trying t shrug it off.

" Even if she was, my parents wouldn't be okay with it, " I sighed.

"Furthermore, she leaves for college after the summer." I cut off her remark. She sat up and slumped her shoulders.

" She just moved here to finish her senior year Rose, I'm sure a summer romance is the last thing she has in mind," I said, dismissing the argument.

"Okay, but you still need to stop thinking about what everyone thinks and be happy for your sake." She said and stood up when her phone beeped.

She walked away after telling me she's going to help Jer carry the ice creams. It's easy for her to say stuff like that, she doesn't have to fear being disowned by her parents. According to my parents, they weren't homophobic, they just preferred if it wasn't in their family. They spoke about it as if it was some disease or something. I guess that's the only way they can relate to it, seeing as they are both head scientists for Alienist Corp, a privately-owned division that deals with the new uprising of " Mutants." Apparently, some people can mentally control other individuals, leaving no physical traces in the brain or memories of the controlled individual.

I know it sounds crazy, I didn't believe it until a video was played on the news. I winced as a shocking pain ran across my mind. What the hell is going on, am I getting sick. I groaned at the thought, summer had just started. I mumbled a thank you as Rose handed me my ice cream.

" Oh shit, I forgot napkins," Jeremy said and got up, heading back over to the booth. I felt my body start to burn, I couldn't move. I tried crying out, tried shifting my body, but nothing worked. I could hear the world still moving around me, the voices of the individuals that occupied the beach, the birds, the waves, everything. I felt this burning sensation move up my throat, it burned like bile, but I couldn't do anything about it.

" Harls?" I heard Rose, I tried telling her what was wrong, but no words left my mouth, I was trapped in my mind. My breathing became irregular, and the panic look on Rose's face did nothing to help my rampant thoughts. Suddenly everything was midnight black, I felt my body shaking uncontrollably, I felt when she rolled me unto my side. I could hear her screaming for help. I felt a sudden rush push through my veins and coursed through my body, touching every organ and cell.

"STOP!" I mentally scream, then I felt peace; it had all stopped. I took a deep breath and moved to my back.

I slowly blinked, coming face to face with a teary faced Rose, she gasped and covered her mouth, backing away from me slowly. I quickly looked around and realized that everyone was frozen, everyone except Rose.

" What's going on?" I questioned, my voice breaking due to my dry and still stinging throat. I squinted as my head started to throb from the sunlight.

" Your eyes, they're ghost white ." She said fear seeping out of her pores. I looked at my phone and screamed before chucking my phone. What's going on, what's happening to me.

" You froze these people, didn't you?" She asked, but she already knew the answer. I got up, put my hands up when she stepped back again, and tried to steady myself.

" Your one of them." She said and gripped at her hair, tears ran down both our faces. This couldn't be happening.

" Ro, I'm scared," I said my voice cracking, she looked at me and slowly walked over to me, I remained utterly still and stiffened when she hugged me before breaking down in her arms. They're going to pick at my brain until it kills me.

" It's okay, it didn't happen." She comforted me, rubbing my back. I finally calmed down and heard the rushed movements then a slow stop, I looked up to see confused faces. They all slowly went back to what they were doing. I released a breath of fresh air.

"You're safe; we just have to figure out how to control it." She said as we grabbed our stuff. I was ready to go home.

" Aren't you scared?" I asked her, she smiled," For a little at first, then I realized I was the only one that wasn't frozen. If you wanted to hurt me, you could," she said and grabbed my hand after texting Jeremy that we left.

I jumped up from my dream, better yet memory. I closed my book and moved from my desk and went over to my bed. I thought I had fallen asleep in my bed, maybe I was too tired from today and knocked out while doing my homework. I stared up at the ceiling, pushing away the haunting calls of my memories. Please, let me sleep for one night. I begged as if my soul depended on it. I could feel myself go in and out of consciousness, and I gladly accepted the darkened peace.

" Jeremy, stop." I pleaded as I moved away from him.

" No, you guys have been acting weird, what are you guys messing around?" He questioned.

" What no, I would never, " I started to say but was cut off by his yelling.

" Save the bullshit Harlow, everyone can tell you're as straight as a fucking circle !" He said I felt the tears stream down my face.

" Jer you are way out of line, you need to calm down, we'll talk about this later," Ro said while walking over to him trying to calm him down.

Rose and I had spent a lot more time together over the past few weeks, a lot of sleepovers and lunch dates, but they all revolved around us hiding this curse. Do I like girls? Yes. Do I like Rose like that, no, we've been best friends since elementary school; at this point, she was literally my sister.

" Because I'm gay doesn't mean I like Rose in that way, I have boundaries," I said, trying to talk sense into him, he's never like this. He's usually a calm and reasonable guy. His personality and smarts were the only reason I was okay with them dating. He seemed different from the other jocks at school.

" Shut up, you fucking bitch!" He yelled while making his way to me, I stood there stunned, never once hearing him use foul language to describe a female.

" Jeremy, that's enough!" Rose yelled as she pulled back Jeremy after he pushed me hard enough for me to fall. I felt my palms rip on the concrete rooftop. Before I could get up and react, I heard a loud smack and a scream from Rose. I shot up and shoved Jeremy away; with the adrenaline pumping through my veins, I managed to push him hard enough to stumble and fall.

" Are you okay?" I questioned Rose as she gripped her face crying, I pulled her hand away. I looked at the red handprint that was embedded in her face. Everything around me froze, I couldn't move. How could he do this? I felt the rage starting to bubble and pour out as I turned to look at him. I could hear Rose calling out to me, but it's like it was muted. My brain refused to process it. I could feel the muscles in my body contract as they pushed out nothing but hate and venom. I felt a chilling sensation then peace, it was as if nothing had just happened, as if I didn't want to rip his head off his body.

" Leave," I said, it was barely above a whisper, but I could see how the word eerily caressed his ears. His eyes zoned out, and he walked towards the edge of the roof. I tried screaming stop, but I couldn't control it, I have never felt this level of rage before, and it was fueling this ability. He stepped up and stepped off the ledge, I heard the breaking of glass and a frightened scream. I finally came out of my trance, and that's when I felt it.

I screamed as I felt the millions of rips that he endured. I tried rubbing the pain away, but it was futile. I felt his bones crushing on impact. I screamed there was no other outlet. I could feel his confusion before he jumped off the roof, his inner torment. My breaths came in short pants as I tried to fix my posture. I looked up at Rose, who stood at the edge staring at me.

" What have you done?" She questioned, looking at me with tear-stained wide eyes.

" Rose, I-"

"You're a monster," She said and tried to make a run for the exit. I pushed away from the numbing pain and rushed after her and grabbed her, she screamed, but I covered her mouth.

" Rose, please stop, don't let me do this," I pleaded with her, but she refused to listen, she struggled until she was free and tried again for the door.

" Stop," I said with tears running down my face and guilt enveloping my conscience," We were at the beach when a group of drunk teens attacked us, one of them slapped you across the face, the other pushed me to the ground, this didn't happen," I said, hating my self after every word that left my mouth.

Still, in a trance, I directed her down the stairs and into her car, I told her to drive home. I returned home that night hating that I agreed to go to that rooftop, I thought we were just going to drink and goof off like we usually do, but I was wrong. I killed him, and I toyed with my friend's memories and trust.

"You're a monster!" I heard a replay in my head, she was right.

********

I jumped out of my sleep, my body drowning in a cold sweat, my limbs ached, and shook from the imagery. I burst into tears from the horror of that memory.

" You killed him." I heard from the corner of my bedroom, I shot my head in the direction of my couch. I slowly moved and turned on the lamp on my bedside table, casting a warm glow. I felt my stomach churn at the face I was welcomed with.

" Rose-" I bit back my words when she held her hand up.

" I waited until your lights were out, your parent's cars weren't in the driveway, so I let myself in with the key under the mat," She said. I stayed quiet, not knowing what to do.

" I knew something wasn't right with the way you were behaving, I knew something was up, but I thought your parents found out you were gay and you were being punished or something, I came here to cheer you up." She said and got up, moving to my bedroom door and flipping on the light.

" Can you imagine the blow when I realized that you weren't being punished, you were just fucking guilty for killing my boy-my boyfriend and manipulating me into thinking I was at some beach." She said, her voice breaking and her breath coming out in quick short pants.

" You promised you wouldn't hurt anyone, you promised you wouldn't use it on me Harlow !" She yelled, the pain of the betrayal traveled in waves and wrapped itself around my heart.

" He hurt you, Rose, I don't know what happened, I couldn't control it. I was so angry," I said, trying to make my way towards her; she moved away quickly, almost tripping over her feet. The fear that poured from her eyes and face made me standstill.

" I'm not a monster, I wouldn't hurt you-"

" But you are, you hurt me then cleared my memory of it, can you not see how messed up that is?" She questioned. I just stared at her.

" I hate you, you're the worst kind of person, you messed up and did your best to remove it not giving a damn about how it affects others." She said I could feel the bond we had to disintegrate.

" His parents blame themselves, everyone is confused about why he did it, he was happy, but it was you. You basically pushed him off that ledge." I didn't even bother to wipe the tears that raced down my face, for what they would just be replaced just as quickly.

" I should have reported you, this is just as much my fault; I kept you a killer, a monster, a freaking freak safe. I should have called them." She said, at her words, my heartbeat picked up and panic set in. Please don't.

" Leave town, grab whatever the hell you need, and go, if you don't, I'm calling Alienist Corp." She walked out of my room after finishing her sentence, I walked behind her, hoping she was bluffing. Please tell me I'm still asleep.

" I already sent out an SOS, so if I don't send a text or call in the next minute, they will track us down, and quite frankly, I feel like watching the time go by, you could burn for all I care. " Her face darkened at the end, this person was no longer my best friend, she was an angry girlfriend, a betrayed best friend, a civilian who wanted justice.

" Rose, please," I begged, my voice almost swallowed up by my cry, but it fell on deaf ears, she walked out of the house not once looking back.

I slowly walked into my room and made my way to my closet, I deceived her and hurt so many people in the process. I looked back at the structure I once called home, I continued driving heading out of town. I have no-one, I deserve no-one at the end of the day I'm just a freak a Lusus Naturae.