Donna’s Past

Thuds sound out in the meadow near Lara's cottage. Kael stands shirtless under the bright sun in the middle of the field. A hundred meters away stands a wooden target.

Kael draws his bow, an arrow already nocked. A low sound resonates from the vibrating string following a sudden release. In the blink of an eye, the projectile arrives at the target.

In front of the arrow is the butt of one of its predecessors. It smoothly slices through the obstruction ahead, splitting the shaft along the grain.

On the target, there are numerous split arrows. They split in various directions from the center of the target, forming a blooming wooden flower.

Kael lets out a deep sigh. He looks down at the bow balancing on his palm. Whenever he shoots a bow, his mind is a clear pool of water. No emotions cloud his thoughts, like settled silt on the pool's floor. In perfect control, every movement he makes is fluid and regulated.

His thoughts shift to his feelings from earlier that day. The lust from this morning was like a drop of blood in his mental pool. It sent ripples across his mind and spread out, discoloring the clear water. The disturbance kicked up his previously settled emotions, further clouding his mind. His desires fought for control over his body.

The feeling was novel. Rather than unpleasant, it was enjoyable. However, the newfound temptation worried Kael. In the heat of that moment, the events of last night replayed in his mind.

The heat of desire he felt last night felt invigorating. The subsequent ecstasy was the most exhilarating feeling he had ever experienced. He felt like he had satisfied a need that had long been unaddressed. It was akin to quenching a thirst long unfulfilled.

However, Kael is scared by the newfound change in himself. Kael had long unconsciously molded himself around the idea of appeasing those around him.

Kael's memory as a baby is vivid in his mind. His first memory is of the day he met Melinda in the woods. He remembers how wet and cold he was from the rain. His tears were everflowing down his face.

His throat strung from his cries long unanswered. It wasn't until he could no longer make a sound that Melinda came. The feeling of warmth in her arms was an unimaginable bliss that he could not afford to lose.

As an infant, he always avoided making a fuss. Even when he was hungry, he held his mouth. He felt reassurance that he had made the right choice every time Melinda walked through his door.

He first began cooking breakfast to ease his mother's burden. However, he didn't stop at pleasing just her. Influenced by his fear of loss, he worked hard to prepare food for everyone else.

The day of near-death birthed a craving for strength. To prevent anyone from taking away anyone close to him.

His entire life felt like building a puzzle to create a picture that everyone would look at and admire. Yesterday was like finding out the remaining pieces didn't fit.

One such piece was his lack of mana affinity. It was a label that would forever separate him from everyone else. It was a death sentence for some of his ambitions.

However, a god above seemed to smile down on him and tell him it was all a dream. After his night of running emotions, he suddenly found the sentence reversed. It was like realizing the piece was upside-down. Still, he had one final piece left.

The final puzzle piece representing his newfound wanton impulses is different. At a glance, it aligns perfectly with the remaining space. It feels like a natural fit.

However, one edge scratches against another when he moves to complete the supposedly finished puzzle. When he tries to push it down, the whole puzzle splits apart.

The split represented the great distance born between him and his mother. Kael worried that acting on his impulses might distance himself and anyone close to him.

Melinda could not even look at him during breakfast. Perhaps if he had held back last night, there would be no tension between them.

A tap on his right elbow disrupts Kael's brooding. He turns his head and sees the top of some brown hair at the bottom of his vision. He looks down and sees Donna gently smiling at him.

"Ya hungry?" Donna asks, lifting a basket.

Moments later, the two are sitting together on a blanket. Donna sits on her knees, folding her long sleeveless sundress under her. Kael is cross-legged, fully clothed. His mouth gulps down a bowl of stew at an astonishing rate. He quickly refills the bowl from a neighboring pot, putting Kael on his fifth bowl.

"Make sure you don't burn yourself, Kael."

Kael swallows his mouthful down and replies, "I'm fine, Auntie Donna."

Kael tries his best to avoid looking at Donna, but he cannot seem to keep her from the corner of his eye. Donna's body isn't anywhere near as curvy as all the other women in the house. Her overall stature is petite.

Nevertheless, Kael still feels a rising lust whenever he looks at her. Kael wants nothing more than to tear off her dress and explore her body hidden underneath.

Kael also sees the faint cyan aura around her. He keeps wondering what it means. More importantly, he wonders how his vision change will affect him.

Donna sees Kael avoiding her. Concerned, she decides to probe him.

"Kael? Is everything okay?"

Kael shifts his gaze away. "Everything's fine, Auntie."

"Really? Then why can't you look at me?"

Kael remains silent.

Donna scoots up next to Kael and puts a hand on his back. Due to her height, Kael's lower jaw is at her eye level.

Donna thinks Kael is upset about his awakening. She worries about broaching the subject and breaking his dammed-up feelings. However, she cannot pussyfoot around when Kael is acting so distant.

Kael remains silent for a bit. Then he speaks up. "Have you ever become something that doesn't fit what you thought you would be?"

Kael's words seem to affirm Donna's preconceptions about his current predicament.

"Kiddo. Let me tell you about my past."

Donna scoots a little closer to Kael. She ends up sitting just slightly behind him at his side.

"My family was poor. We lived on a farmstead away from the town."

"I never knew my mother. She died soon after giving birth to me."

Still facing away, Kael's face softens at Donna's words.

"My family consisted of only my father and me. He worked many long hours, only to bear a small harvest. He could only afford to rent a small patch of less than ideal land. He was trapped in a vicious cycle of poverty, unable to break out of his toils."

"To keep an eye on me, my father would have to carry me in a basket on his back. As I grew up, I observed every day of his struggle."

"When I grew older, I wanted to help him. I thought I could help ease his burdens if I became a farmer like him."

Donna lets out a smile tinged with sadness. "My father always kept a small basket of leftover seeds in our house."

"He would take me some distance away from our house to a meadow and spread the seeds around. It was a ritual to appease pests like rats and crows and hope for a bountiful harvest. He told me it was a habit he picked up from my mother."

"Around my eleventh birthday, I snuck one of the seeds from the basket and planted it a ways off from the rear of our home. I wanted to grow something and show my father I could help him with the farm."

"I snuck out of the house every morning and took care of it for two years, hoping to show off my efforts to my father. However, it never grew."

Kael turns a little towards Donna. Her posture had hunched over during her story as if she was trying to curl up into a ball. She faces the blanket, and her whole body seems steeped in sadness.

The aura around her had changed to a shade of violet-blue when Kael was engrossed in her story. Still engrossed by her recollection, Donna doesn't notice Kael's movements.

"Around that time, my father started teaching me how to do chores."

Donna lets out a sigh before continuing. "I was too clumsy to do anything right. Every stitch I sewed was crooked, and the clothes I washed came out more stained than clean."

"When cooking, everything I made tasted much worse than the first breakfast you made." Donna chuckles a little.

"Despite my failures, my father was always by my side, guiding me forward. Since I hadn't grown anything from the seed yet, I could at least help out with the household. I worked hard to improve myself."

"My hands were a blistered, pruned, and burned mess at the end of each day. Eventually, the clothes I washed came out cleaner, the stitches I sewed were even, and the meals I could cook were palatable."

"I wasn't anywhere close to an average housewife. However, I kept improving for my father."

Donna's voice quivers a little. "Things changed on my fourteenth birthday."

Donna takes a moment to compose herself before continuing.

"I woke up in the middle of the night. I could hear some faint voices coming from the kitchen."

"I placed my ear on the door of my room and heard my father talking with another man."

"The other man said, 'My patience wears thin. It's about time for your promised delivery.'"

"My father replied in a reluctant tone. 'Please, give me a little more time.' At first, I thought he was talking about his crop harvest. I soon found out that wasn't the case. 'She isn't ready yet.'"

"'Do you think I care about her housekeeping skills? I'm not looking for a maid. You have three days to set your affairs in order and bring me your daughter.'"

Kael's fists subconsciously tighten up. His eyes stare past Donna as if staring into Donna's recollection.

"The other man wasn't finished. 'Remember, if this deal doesn't go through, you'll have to pay off all the debt you owe me.' There was a measured pause."

"The man's tone turned amused. 'You also won't get that new plot of land. Aren't you tired of working on these barren fields for so long? So it's in your best interest to move on.'"

"My father only muttered, 'Yes, sir.'"

"'It's such a shame that your wife still isn't around. Otherwise, you could have been on your way to being a landowner.' The man let out a deep laugh before the sound of his footfalls heralded his departure."

Donna's recount stops from a warm feeling on her left shoulder. She looks over and sees Kael's manly hand comforting her. Donna turns back to Kael to see a sympathetic smile on his face. The warm expression on his handsome face causes Donna's face to flush.

'I can see why Bella can't keep her mind off him,' Donna inwardly remarks.

"Anyway, I couldn't believe what I had just heard. I rushed out of my room and saw my father seated at the dining table. His initial sullen expression turned to surprise when he saw me come over."

"My father tried to say something. 'Donna, what are,' but I cut him off. 'Is it true? Are you going to sell me off to some filthy landowner?!' I yelled."

"His face sunk into an expression of guilt. 'You don't understand.'"

"I didn't let him finish. It felt like my whole life had been a lie, and I didn't want to hear any more. 'I heard it all! I understand everything. I can't believe you!'"

"I stormed away back into my room and slammed the door shut. I heard a clattering behind me as I walked away. It was probably the dining chair my father was sitting in. I heard him call out my name, but I ignored it."

"I threw myself in my bed and sobbed furiously for a long time. My father didn't try to come in."

"After my surging emotions calmed down, I realized I didn't want to wait around for the inevitable. So I opened the wooden shutters and snuck out of the house through my bedroom window."

"Then all I did was run. I didn't know where I was running. I just felt like I had to run."

"I made it to town dead tired and collapsed to my knees in an alleyway. It was then that the realization that I had nowhere to go dawned on me. I didn't bring any clothes, food or water. All I knew was that I couldn't go back."

"It was then I heard a cheerful voice above me. 'Whatcha doing down there?'"

"I looked up and saw a teenage girl looking down on me. Her red hair flowed in front of her body and framed her slightly tilted face. She looked down at me, a little amused and quizzical."

The image of a mischievous auntie appears in Kael's mind when he hears Donna's description.

"My guard was down from the mental strain from earlier that day. I ended up saying, 'I ran away from home.'"

"The girl's smile widened, and she replied, 'Really? So did I. I couldn't stand following any of the parents' plans. What about you?'"

"I didn't know what to say to her. After all, we had only just met. The girl probably noticed something about my face. She ended up shushing me with a finger to my mouth."

"She then stuck out her hand to help me up. She introduced herself with, 'My name's Bella. What's yours?'"

"That was how I ended up meeting your auntie, Bella. A few months later, barely getting by, we met your mother."

Donna and Kael share a somber pause as Kael digests Donna's story. Kael's hands lightly grip the blanket at his sides.

Kael breaks the silence and says, "I'm sorry, Auntie."

Donna mentally shakes herself from her stupor. She turns to Kael and smiles. She says, "You don't need to apologize for anything."

"Anyway, it isn't uncommon for your life to have an abrupt change, to deviate from your planning and hard work. I just wanted to let you know that we're here to help you through it. You aren't alone with what you're going through."

Kael sits still for a few moments in silence. Each moment of silence weighs heavily on Donna. She hoped to identify with Kael to ease his burden in some way.

"What if," Kael says before stalling. "What if my change pushes everyone away?" His hands tighten their grip on the blanket beneath them.

"It won't," Donna states with confidence.

"But how do you know? How can you be sure?" Kael replies with rising intensity. Desperation slightly tinges his voice.

Kael's demeanor takes her aback. She wonders if something happened to Kael. She also considers the possibility of Kael having unresolved abandonment issues. She decides to give him her assurance.

"I won't run away from you, Kael. I swear this." Donna gently places her right hand on Kael's left and rubs it reassuringly.

Kael's body relaxes at Donna's contact. However, his emotions are still running high from just a moment ago. Kael stares at Donna's face with an intense passion, and a great heat runs rampant throughout his body.

Donna's eyes widen as she suddenly finds Kael's lips on top of hers.