Doctor Hogback

"Cerberus?! What kind of island is this?!" Nami cried as she, Chopper, and Usopp ran from the hellhound. The barks sent chills up their spines, but the little yip made Chopper question it. Turning to look, he saw that one of the heads of the vicious beast was a fox rather than a dog.

"Nami! This isn't Cerberus! One of those head's is a fox!" Chopper yelled, resting for a moment when the dog stopped to cry, then console itself.

"That doesn't matter now! It still wants to eat us!" Nami cried as she started running again.

"Yeah! Sorry!" Chopper cried, trying to keep up with the somehow faster Usopp.

"Look! Some stairs! We can get out of this damn moat!" Usopp yelled as he started charging up the stairs. Reaching the forest, he rushed them to climb up a tree. "Shh. I think we lost him."

"He can still smell us you idiot." Nami said, watching the dog search around their tree before slowly wandering off.

"Yeah. The three heads tend to interfere with each other." A fourth voice said, making everyone freeze before turning to see a weird bat like man in the tree with them. "Sorry, I was trying to find my dog when I stumbled upon you three. I'm Hildon." The man said, smiling. "It's about to be dark, and it will get very dangerous. Would you like a ride to Doctor Hogback's Mansion?"

"That would be gre-" Usopp had his mouth covered by Nami. "Did you forget who's giant island ship we're on? It's probably a trap." She whispered at him.

"Oh yeah...well we don't have a choice. I'd rather walk into the giant obvious mansion trap than be stuck in the belly of a damn devil dog." Usopp barely whispered, fearing the bat man's super hearing.

"Thank you Hildon, we'll gladly take a ride." They all said, following him to his carriage.

"So, what should we do?" Franky asked, looking at the web that enveloped their ship. "We're stuck in this spider web thing." He said, tugging at it.

"Cool! That means we get to go adventure!" Luffy yelled, jumping on the rail. "Sanji! More lunches!" He called, legs swinging as he sat and waited.

Robin smiled and sat by him, leaning against his shoulder. "So, Luffy. Do you think there's monsters on the island? Fufufu." She laughed, thinking of all the terrifying things awaiting them.

"I hope! I wanna punch a Dragon!" Luffy yelled with a smile, picturing himself fighting a Dragon and punching it the face.

"I think a lot of people want to punch Dragon, Luffy." She said, remembering the news of his father.

"Well duh. It'd be so cool!" He said, oblivious to what she was getting at.

"Let's go Luffy. We need to save Nami-swan!" Sanji called as he jumped down. Franky followed after. Luffy decided to flatter Robin, grabbing her and jumping down.

"Think we could take this ship? Robin seems to like it." Luffy thought out loud as he walked towards the entrance.

"You'd steal a ship, from a Shichibukai, because Robin likes it?" Franky asked, sweatdropping. Luffy was truly insane.

"Yeah? Why else would I? Want it Robin?" He asked her directly, causing her to giggle.

"That would insult Franky-san Luffy. The Thousand Sunny is far better than this ship." She said as she started walking down the stairs. The new development of Luffy's insanity making no one question their descent.

"Is that...Kerberus?" Sanji asked as a three headed dog came walking towards them.

"I think it's cute." Robin said with a smile as the dog came into view.

"You there! Dog! Robin likes you, so I'm going to tame you!" Luffy said, charging at the dog with his hand out. "Paw!"

Franky merely sighed and leaned against the wall of the moat. "He's wrapped around your finger." He said, shaking his head as Luffy stared into all eyes of the dog.

"Dammit! I said I'm taming you for Robin!" He yelled, scaring the dog with his anger.

"Fufufu. Like I'm not wrapped around his, Franky-san?" She said with a coy smile as she walked to the now 'tamed' animal.

Luffy smiled wide as they started walking, glancing at the faces of the dogs every so often. They shook when he did, his words echoing in their heads. 'If you so much as shake while she's on you, I'll neuter you for each head you have.'

"Thank you Luffy, though I don't believe we can keep the cute little guy." She said, petting the middle head lightly.

"Aww. I want to get you something though! How about a unicorn?" He asked, pointing at the unicorn having tea with a tree.

"Thank you for the offer Luffy… There's no beach and I don't have my knitting needles." She said, smirking at the terrified creature.

"Oh, okay." He said, scanning around for any possible gift. Ignoring the odd comment.

"What the hell?! Why is she throwing plates at me?!" Usopp cried as he ran from the onslaught of deadly plates, crying as they came dangerously close.

"Only two may enter." The zombie woman spoke plainly as she ran out of plates.

"Cindry! Stop torturing our guests! Surely we can make an exception this time!" A tall, fat man with a seemingly sewed on face said as he entered the room. "I'm so sorry, my love has issue with pirates. And plates...It all started when"

"You're him aren't you?! The Amazing Doctor Hogback!" Chopper squealed with stars in his eyes. Rushing to the man. "I'm such a fan! You're the greatest doctor in history! May I have your autograph?!" He yelled, leaving the other two members to sweatdrop.

"Eh...Where did he get a pen?" "And an autograph book..." The two asked, staring at the zombie who just assaulted them. She stared blankly, much as a zombie would.

"Why certainly. It's been so long since I've met a fan." He said with a devilish smile as he signed on the spot Chopper designated for him.

"Thank you thank you! May I see your lab? It's been a dream of-"

"No one may ever see my lab. The work I do would crush the minds of anyone not prepared to witness its glory." He said, moving his face down to the horrified reindeer's. Everyone froze in fear from the harsh, threatening tone.

"But forget that! Hildon, would you mind showing our guests to their rooms. They appeared to have gotten dirty." Hogack said, eying the dirt and bone dust from their fall in the moat.

"Right away sir. This way my friends." Hildon said, leading them up the stairs to their rooms. "Showers are at the end of the hall. Please clean up and come down for dinner." He said, leaving them to accompany the doctor.

"Okay, you two. Guard me while I shower." Nami ordered, much to there protest.

"Fine...but we all guard each other!"

"Who's going to attack you in the shower, Usopp?!" Nami yelled in anger, hitting him with her Clima-tact.

"Anyone who wants to kill me easily!" He defended, cowering from her wrath.

"Hey, did you guys hear that?" Luffy asked as he looked around the graveyard. The crew that was with him looked around as well. That's when they saw the dirt in front of a tombstone start to shift. A bandaged 'man' climbed up from the ground. Moaning incoherently at them.

The sudden shock made everyone but Luffy freeze. First were ghosts that made everyone depressed, now zombies?! They all started to speak when Luffy walked over, grabbed his shoulders, and pushed him back into the ground. "Problem solved!" He yelled back with a grin, walking towards his friends when more zombies started to rise from their graves. "Ugh… Not solved." He groaned and walked back towards Robin. "Hey, Robin. Want a piece of a zombie?"

"No thanks Luffy. They've already decomposed. I prefer fresh body parts." She said with a smile, making the other three men cringe as Luffy pouted.

"Dammit! I'm never gonna find a cool gift! Stupid zombies!" He yelled, charging back at the undead creations. Causing them to run in fear from the crazed man.

"Umm...should we help him?" Franky asked, scratching his head as Luffy started tearing apart zombies out of sheer annoyance.

"Let's just kill the ones that run our way. I think he needs to let off some steam." Zoro said, sitting down on a tombstone and watching.

Meanwhile, back in the Mansion

"We're all clean Doctor Hogback sir!" Chopper yelled in joy as they rushed to find him. He looked them over and smiled.

"Excellent! Come, it's time for dinner!" He called to them, leading them to the dining room. "It's so nice to have guests again. Cindry made pudding for you all." He said as she walked in, dumping handfuls of pudding onto the table. "Umm, dear. You could have used plates this one time..."

"It would be fine if all plates were..."

"Or bowls! We have bowls Cindry!" Hogback called, arguing with his zombie love. "Oh well, the tablecloth is so clean, we don't need plates or bowls!"

"But use spoons you savages!" Nami yelled at the two who sucked the pudding right off the table.

"But it's so good!" Chopper called, licking more up.

"Ugh...Thank you for all your kindness, Doctor Hogback sir. But we need to find our friends. Do you think we could go look for them?" Nami asked. She needed to play this safe. They knew their enemy, so Hogback was most likely his ally. But staying on his good side was a must as long as no-one directly attacked.

"Hmm...Normally I'd need to ask, and I haven't heard in from my colleague...But I'm sure they'll show up. We are, after all, in a giant mansion!" He said with a smile, unnerving Nami.

"Haha. Good point… Well, what would you suggest we do while we wait?" Nami asked, nervously. They needed to hold off and wait for Luffy and the others. As long as Hogback was with them, they may not be attacked.

"Oooh! Doctor Hogback! Please, tell me about some of your research!" Chopper yelled, ignoring the danger they were in. "I mean, what you can tell me..." He said, cowering back when he remembered the threat when he asked about the lab.

"Of course, Doctor Chopper! I've been studying the one thing every doctor wishes to cure. Death itself. Everyone has a loved one or a friend they wish they could bring back to life. I aim to do just that. I plan to eliminate death itself!" Hogback yelled, a sick form of stars shrouding his eyes. Only Chopper couldn't see the dark meaning behind his.

"I want to help you all I can Doctor Hogback!" He called as he stood. Nami and Usopp couldn't breathe as one thought entered their minds.

'Hogback creates Zombies!'