1 COURAGE

Kween's POV

"You can do this kween", I try to reassure myself, while pacing through the small length of my self contained apartment.

The last time I was this nervous about anything, was two years ago, when I heard the admissions list was out and I needed to go check if my name was on the list.

I remembered pushing days forward because I was so scared of being rejected, but eventually, I went to check and here I am. I wish the outcome could be the same this time around, although the situation is totally different.

"How hard can it get? Just tell him how you feel. He either feels the same way or he doesn't", I said, in an attempt to calm my nerves, which by the way have been on the delicate side lately.

My hands were moving with each words I uttered, which showed I was a nervous reck. Coming out about your feelings to a guy who knows little or nothing about your existence, isn't really a nice move on the chess board of emotions, especially as a girl.

It always has one outcome, heartbreak. But I'd be more miserable if I didn't tell him. It's been two years, two freaking years of gawking and drooling on this dude.I just want him to know of my existence at least.

The closest contact I ever made with him was two months ago, when I intentionally bumped into him in the library and he grabbed me by my waist, preventing me from falling. His arms were really muscular and his abs were rock solid. I was almost certain his anatomy didn't stray much from the Greek gods, I read so much about. Yes, I touched and checked out his body while he was grabbing me, I couldn't afford to miss such opportunity.

"I need to call Fred, I can't do this on my own." I grabbed my phone off the bed underneath the teddy and dialled him straight away.

Fred is my closest friend and a real flirt, which was why I avoided him from the beginning but eventually, I warmed up to him. Unlike Tracey, my other friend who barely hangout with me, Fred almost follows me everywhere in school.

"What's up beautiful, missing me already? I could....."

"I want to ask you something and I need a honest answer okay?" I said, real fast, cutting him short.

"Okay."

"If a girl approach you out of the blue and confess her two years old feelings for you, would you see her as crazy or desperate?" I made sure I dragged the last part, emphasising importance.

"Wait up, all my life, I had to work really hard to go to Brazil which if I am being honest, haven't really worked out, now I have Brazil coming to me and you say what? Desperate?"

"Dude, are we on the same page here?" I said, between gritted teeth. I am loosing my patience already. Fred has always been like that. He doesn't go straight to the point, always hiding behind his crazy metaphors and sarcasm.

"Yes we are.What I am saying is that, I always have it hard when it comes to wooing a girl. Having a girl coming to ease up that process, sounds more like a blessing to me" he said chuckling.

"So, you won't see her as desperate or easy?"

"Hell no I won't. Rather, I will see her as the real deal. That girl is obeying God's word."

I really can't take Fred's opinion seriously. He's too crazy about girls and I'm sure Dave isn't like that. He's more mature and reserve.

"Alright, thanks Fred.I will see you in..."

"Aren't you going to tell me what this is about?" He asked, cutting me off.

"It's nothing, just a hypothetical situation. see you later."

I won't tell Fred the truth. He will make fun of me the whole day. I just need to sort it out first before telling him. I know it would hurt him alittle, knowing that he has feelings for me. I never really took his feelings seriously. The guy is a notorious flirt, everyone knows about him on campus.

The first time I met him in freshmen year, he was flirting with my friend and then switched over to me, immediately he laid eyes on me. He's really good looking and smart. He has the cutest dimples I'm yet to see on any other guy. I guess, I just made up my mind to be among the few girls he hasn't made his way with on campus. Maybe that's why I never really took him seriously. I do like him alot though, he's adorable when he wants to be and also reliable.

I got a notification from my phone and it was from Fred. Think of the devil alittle and he's at your door step. I grabbed the phone and read it's content.

Hey kweeny,

Don't think it through, just do it, okay. The more you think about it, the more reasons you come up with not to do it. Assuming your hypothetical situation is actually your situation, that is.

For once Fred is right, I don't need to think things through. If it's meant to be then it will. Fred seems to make alot of sense when he's not talking, I suppose.

Hey Freddy,

I told you it was a hypothetical situation. Anyways thanks for your hypothetical advice. See you at our usual after class okay

Xoxo....

"I hope he's still at the library," I said, grabbing my bag frantically and dashing out of my room. Here goes nothing.