One: January 25

Her: I woke today expecting it to be a shit. Everyday has been shit so far, so why not this Saturday? I was going to meet James. I didn't want too. But I learned a few things. He had no one. He was dying. No one should die alone. I don't care who you are. But to be honest. I didn't care. For years he put me through hell. He broke me in ways I never thought possible.

James pulled into the parking lot and parked. He got out, I played nice. I hugged him, but really I wanted to puke. I held it together.

We went inside and we, well I sat down watching Emily and Wayne play and have fun. James kept watching me. It didn't bother me. What did bother me was the fact that he kept trying to push him self on me.

I told him no twice. And within forty-five minutes I got the kids and I left. I couldn't take anymore. When I got home, I blocked him on everything I could.

My brother, Adrian, had messaged me telling me that I should come to Pensacola for a party. I didn't feel like it. I just wanted to sleep this dreadful day away.

Eventually after convincing Adrian that I really shouldn't come, I drifted off to a not so peaceful sleep.

The dreams come and go. Some more horrible than the last. Some are like a prison that I can't escape from. And others, they just rip my soul to shreds and expose a side that I try so hard to hide.

Hours of this day came by fast and left in a hurry. Before nightfall everything was serene. My soul was still lonely. There was this hole in me that longed to be mended. It was around 7 o'clock that night when i was going through my snapchat, walking back inside from the back porch. I went to Lylah's snap story, then another and another.

Finally, I came about Adrian's. I wasn't even going to click on it. I don't even know why.

Something told me deep down that I should, so I did. And there he was. He stole my breath. I felt my heart jump. My first words were, " Ooh, he's cute. Who is he? I want to know!"

This right here was the start. As soon as I hit send Adrian was there telling me his name, and things about him that gave me goosebumps. Matthew Soto. He wanted to know what I looked like, so I sent like six pictures. I wasn't expecting anything back really. What I was expecting was for someone as handsome as him to have a girlfriend. I was expecting to be rejected.

Instead I got some back. Not long after that I had his snap. I was petrified to make the first move. But from what I had gathered so far, he was perfect.

I made my choice. I was not going to be a coward. I said "hi" short sweet and simple. And there is was. His little snap icon popped up. With only a few words he made my day go from horrible to amazing.

I don't remember when, I don't remember how, but in only hours I fell in complete love with him. He captivated my mind, my soul, my heart. He captivated everything about me.

But little did I know, I would find out his secret. His dark, tormented, terrifying secret.

I fell in love with the Devil. Now I'm in trouble. Please, don't save me from this hell. Within his arms is where I breath to be.