32 Dream Again
I am waddling through the bitter darkness. My mind warns me to stop and turn away but my consciousness keeps on moving through this inescapable haze.
The coldness in the air brings stinging chills to my spine. While the moon's illuminance sips through the heavy curtains along the darkened path, I skim the details of this dingy house with panic in my eyes.
It's the same high windows overlooking the perilous sea. The twin narrow stair leading to the ghastly hall below it. And the dusty abandoned fireplace between the elevated steps.
It was all too familiar. All too clear. The frightening memories begin to rush into my head and crawl under my skin.
"No, not this again."
I beg while shrugging my head to protest.
I promise myself never to go back. Never wish to set foot in this horrible place again. Yet, here I am. Dressed in my string nightgown, I reach the end of the dull hallway with my body shivering from uneasiness.
As I hover on the top of the wooden steps, my heart throbbed twice from its normal tic. Hesitant to set my soles upon them, I gasp for air and chose to turn away.
Suddenly, the shady hallway where I come from became a pitch-black void of nothingness. The thick shroud of darkness creeps on the wooden floors pushing me to step away.
Now, I have no choice. No place to turn to. I am forced to recapture the scenes of my life I bury in the depths of my mind.
Carefully, lay one of my feet down the cold wooden plank. My anxiety builds up as each step brings me closer to the dreary part of this house.
At the end of the treads, comes the gloomy center hall. The tedious setting of the antiques that my father collected from Europe presents itself on the wall like displayed articles in museums.
The pair of iron knights on each side of the gallery hold their swords in an upright position. Inside their helms were glowing eyes following my every action. Their stance of preparedness compels me to stagger as I walk away. When they march out of their position, I know they were out to capture me.
So I ran...
I tried to open the
The double door was tightly shut, I passes by a paintings of a blurry place. I know it's somewhere I have been before, a familiar estate. Yet I can't seem to recall it in this clouded memory of mine filled with doubt brought by the pain of my past.
I step back, I know what will happen next. My skin shivers from my neck to my arms and feet. The hair in every corner of my body tinged with fear. I don't want to go in there. I don't want to see it. The inanimate objects in the hall seem to disappear in the emptiness behind me.
Inch by inch I can see the door on the right side of the center hall draw closer to where I stand like it has its own feet running towards to drag me inside.
Reaching...
The door opens...
The vision appears...
….
….
….
She could recognize the blue shade paint of the ceiling in her bedroom. Her eyes were wide open but her body was stiff as a wooden plank under the blue sheets of her mattress. Her jaws were clenched with her teeth gritting together inside her closed mouth. Her body trembles as she struggles to fight the invincible shadow holding her down. Her breathing is shallow and her heart beats fast inside her chest, battling to survive the terror of dying alone in her bed.
Is this what it feels like to lose your life?
Rigid.
The woman inhales in a steep short whiff to loosen up her body and tries to consciously move her fingers one by one to make a fist. When she was able to close her hand, she immediately sat up and breathed deeply from her mouth. Gasping for air is like getting out of a deep pool of water and being alive again after a brief time of departing.
The alarm clock blaring made Soojin's body jump from the noise. She stretched her arm to reach the button on top of the white rectangular digital clock resting at her bedside drawer. The room is bright by the light of the sun seeping through the glass window beside her bed. Her room is now filled with a deafening silence of loneliness.
It's seven o'clock in the morning and the sunlight begins to brighten everyone's house. She stood up from the bed and began to perform her routines starting with fixing the covers of the mattress she slept in before taking a warm bath to start her day. Under the showerhead, she let the flowing water pass through every curve of her bare body. The warmth gives comfort to her senses, soothing her mind from the nightmare she had encountered this morning. There is nothing more reassuring than bathing in a hot clear liquid of the earth's natural blessing.
After her bath, she wraps herself in a white towel from her chest to her thigh and selects her clothes inside the closet located at the corner of her room. Hanging on the rack are her shirts and dresses arranged neatly by their shade. From white to the darkest color of purple and grey. Soojin chose a subtle tone of pastel blue long sleeve shirt, tucked in by slacks of navy blue color. She covers her shirt with a thick long knitted grey robe and matches her outfit with white flat shoes. The slight makeup on her cheeks lends a humble blush on her face and the rose peach lipstick on her thin rims provides a natural yet luscious effect on her lips. Her brows are naturally thick in a perfect arch above her brown eyes and her lashes are long making them curl innately above the lids of her sights.
Before leaving her apartment, she took her notebook out of her bedside drawers and set it inside her black leather shoulder bag. She grabs the car keys hanging behind the door and strides towards the vehicle parked in front of the house. Soojin didn't bother making breakfast, she felt tiresome making them alone for herself.
The blue car she owns is plopped in front of her apartment. A modest old model that she finished paying last month after a five-year loan from her bank. Before she got in, a neighbor greeted her with a kid in hand.
"Soojin!!!" A woman shouted, smiling widely with her left hand raised full straight up and waving to get the attention of the woman standing beside the car.
