25

Zhou Chuyu sat in the carriage, leaning lifelessly against the interior. Tears silently streamed down his face, even though he made no sound. Although Nie Huanzhang didn't bid him farewell separately, he discreetly placed all of Ping'an Fu that he had begged for in the luggage on Step Snow when Nie Huanzhang left. Now he was sitting in the carriage and wondered: when will we meet again? Will we eventually tread different paths, leading to a gradual reduction in our connection until there is no communication at all? As these thoughts crossed his mind, he couldn't control the tears any longer. He took out a handkerchief and tightly covered his face, allowing the tears to flow uncontrollably.

Guzi drove the carriage, occasionally glancing back. Finally he said:

"Sir, why do I feel like the person behind us is Mr. Nie?"

Up hearing this, Zhou Chuyu was momentarily stunned. The handkerchief slipped from his hand and with tear-filled eyes wide open. He murmured:

"What did you say?"

"Why do I feel like the person riding the horse looks a lot like Mr. Nie?"

"Where?"

Zhou Chuyu stepped out of the carriage hurriedly and saw someone riding a horse following their carriage from a distance. He instantly recognized him as Nie Huanzhang so he shouted:

"Stop! Stop! You all stay here."

He jumped off the carriage and the person on the horse quickened his pace, watching Zhou Chuyu run up to him. Zhou Chuyu screamed at him with all his might:

"What are you doing here? Why are you following me? I told you not to treat me too good anymore, okay? Go away! Please go away! Stop following me."

After yelling, Zhou Chuyu ran back towards his carriage. Nie Huanzhang, riding on the horse, watched as Zhou Chuyu approached, then suddenly stopped. He listened to him shouting and then running away again. A pang of pain struck his heart so he immediately spurred the horse towards Zhou Chuyu. With one swift motion, he scooped him up onto the horse and shouted towards the direction of the carriage:

"You find a place to rest for a while. I need to talk to your young master."

With caring about Zhou Chuyu, who was sitting on the horse and pushing him away, Ni Huanzhang swiftly rode into the nearby the forest quickly. Zhou Chuyu pounded on Nie Huanzhang, shouting: 

"Let me go! Let me go! Let..."

Zhou Chuyu's cries were silenced by the warm lips that pressed against his throat. He was tightly embraced in the familiar arms and tears uncontrollably streamed down his face again. Nie Huanzhang's kiss left Zhou Chuyu a bit dizzy. But he didn't want to let go, savoring this kiss, the kiss he thought he would never experience again. After a long time, they separated slowly. Zhou Chuyu nestled in Nie Huanzhang's arms, wiping his tears on Nie Huanzhang's clothes and asked softly:

"Why? You clearly like me too, right?"

Nie Huanzhang gently kissed Zhou Chuyu's forehead and said:

"No, I don't just like you. I do love you." Looking at Zhou Chuyu's surprised expression, Nie Huanzhang continued, "Yes, I love you. I don't know when it started, maybe from the moment you stood by the roadside, tears in your eyes, looking at me. I was probably drawn to your teary eyes. In fact, at that time, I thought this child is so cute, crying so pitifully. Otherwise, with my temperament, I wouldn't have bothered with a stranger."

"But why did you reject me?"

"Baby, I'm afraid of hurting you. Yes, I'm really scared. I can face anything alone but you're different. You have parents, siblings and they all love and cherish you. You're your father's hope, hoping for you to become a high-ranking official, get married, have children and have a bright future. Just think, you ran away from home. Your mother and little mom fainted bedridden. Your father, infuriated, used a stick to punish you. If they find out you're with a man, how would they react? It would only bring them sadness and disappointment, which I'm sure you wouldn't want, right?" 

After his words, Nie Huanzhang sighed and kissed Zhou Chuyu again, continued speaking:

"Furthermore, you're so outstanding, always ranking first in the examinations. Baby, your future is boundless. Although our dynasty doesn't oppose or forbid homosexuality, it might still affect your career prospects. I don't want you to face any harm because of me. Also, you're still so young, a child who doesn't understand the ways of the world. Even I don't know whether you comprehend this kind of love. I'm afraid of scaring you away or making you run away. I can't bear that. I want to wait for you to grow up. It's a contradiction within me. Lastly, like I mentioned that day, I've killed person before. I might be killed one day. And if that happens, leaving you alone. If you quickly forget about me, which I hope, it's great that you will start your own life with marriage. But I'm afraid you'll so sad as to spend the rest of your life alone. No, I don't want your life like this in the future. That is why I rejected you. But during these days after I rejected you, I've watched you completely change. Looking at your unhappy, I feel it breaks my hearts. That's why I follow you and hope to accompany you to Jingdu." 

"Is it the reason that you leave all of your property to me?"

"Yes, I want you to have a good life in the future. No matter whether you are the official or not, you do have enough money to live your life comfortably. You are safe and I am at ease."

"Ge, do you have ever thought that if there is something happened to you, even if I'm alive, I will be happy? Likewise, you are safe and I am at ease."

Nie Huanzhang kissed Zhou Chuyu on the forehead again, says:

"Tell you the truth, I have never been afraid of death as I am now. It is the reason that I started doing business with your brother, gradually adapting to your family's way of doing business, just to make sure your wouldn't worry. This time is my last time to Huichun. But now, it's not enough. While I don't have officially agreed to work as a spy for His Highness, he needs my help in Huichun. I want to assist him and see whether there is another path that might suit me. After all, you're going to be an official in the future so I want to able to help you at that time."

"Ge, I'm sorry for treating you that way. I've been so fortunate to have you, always considering me in everything. However, Ge, I've grown up. Perhaps last year, I truly didn't have such thoughts or feelings, maybe I was even naive and ignorant. But since we parted ways, I felt like I'm an empty shell, listless every day, with thoughts of you filling my mind. The only consolation for me is your jade pendant. I caress it, kiss it and confide in it about my yearning for you. At that moment I understood that I like you. I want to be with you forever. As for my family, indeed, I don't want to make them sad and disappointed. I love them but I can't help it. Zhou Chuyu is just that kind of child. If I didn't have met you, maybe I would have followed their wishes. But I did meet you, I fell in love with you and that's how it is."

While speaking, Zhou Chuyu looked at Nie Huanzhang with loving eyes and then kissed him on the lips lightly. Zhou Chuyu continued to say:

"Of course, I'll strive to fulfill my father's regrets, embark on a career path. The government wants officials who genuinely work for the government and the well-being of the people. As long as I am diligent, caring for the people and maintain integrity, there won't be a problem. I believe I can do it. As for my personal life, although people may gossip, it's my personal matter, isn't it? Ge, please don't reject me anymore. It really hurts, a pain that makes my internal organs wail, my soul and spirit struggle. I have nothing left to hold onto, yet I have to pretend to interact with you like a brother as if nothing happened. I'm tired, exhausted as if clinging to an endless cliff. If I make a slight mistake, I'll shatter into pieces."

Nie Huanzhang held him tightly as if trying to meld him into his own body and said with a heavy heart:

"I'm sorry. It won't happen again. I promise you that my embrace will always here, always belong to Zhou Chuyu forever. Whenever you want to rush into it, I'll hold you tightly, providing you comfort and security. My life, Nie Huanzhang's life, is all yours, a man whose name is Zhou Chuyu."

"I don't want your life but I want you, as a person. You promised me so I promise you my heart, my body and everything about Zhou Chuyu belong to yours, a man whose name is Nie Huanzhang, forever. You can take it anytime."

They embraced, kissing each other, feeling each other. Two of them felt their love, savoring this wonderful moments together.