Mistrust

"She's crashing!" a nurse calls from the room where Sandra's body lies pale and still. The abnormal beeping from the machine signaling that her body is giving out. Adelyn listening from a distance as she continues her tasks. She rushes over when she hears the commotion just to stop dead in her tracks remembering she was banned from Sandra's room. Adelyn could hear soft sobs that she knew to be Margret echoing in the hallway. Accompanied by two other voices, a deep reassuring tone that could only be Lukas which would make the last one Suzanne. Suzanne's voice was so soft and timid Adelyn could barely hear it trembling as Suzanne spoke.

"She's going to be alright isn't she? She was getting better, what happened?" Suzanne's soft murmurs almost inaudible.

"Sometimes things get worse before they get better, I'm sure this is one of those times" Lukas soothed his fearful wife, wrapping his arms around her from behind.

"Damn doctors don't know a thing! They say one thing then another, it's been almost a year! You'd think they would have been able to do something by now." Margret chimed in angrily "It's all HER fault you know."

"What do you mean, Sandra didn't choose to... to.. " Susanne's words cut off abruptly.

"No not Sandra. That..that... so called friend of hers. She had been lying to me... to all of us." acid tinged her voice stinging the ears of all who listen.

"I'm sure she meant well" the glares Lukas received after that statement told him to tread lightly. Adelyn winced with guilt upon witnessing the rage and hatred those eyes expressed, knowing that everything was indeed her fault.

"I'm just trying to say maybe she had a good reason for not telling us who she really was." Lukas playing devils advocate, attempting to set some logic into the situation and failing miserably.

"I guess they could have known each other, maybe it wasn't a complete lie?" Suzanne hesitantly questioned knowing Lukas was generally more logical than herself.

"Nonsense! You too Susanne? Regardless of who she may have been to my Sandy, she still withheld the truth! That's is still lying in my book. " Margret spoke with resolve "I don't want to hear another word about that woman, you hear me?" she sticks a pointed finger towards Lukas.

Adelyn crept away taking care not to make a sound unfortunately Lukas rounded the corner and runs right into her.

"I.. Uh..was just making my rounds." Adelyn nervously offered.

"Oh... Hey... I was just looking for the bathroom, Sandra's room was sorta occupied" Lukas was not making eye contact feeling extremely awkward.

"It's just a couple doors down on the left. " She pointed him in the right direction hoping their interaction would end soon.

"...Thanks " Lukas turns to leave, stops then turns back "Hey so I have a question." his voice now seeming determined and slightly irate.

"Yeah?" Adelyn's nerves shot through her as she anticipates having to explain herself.

"How well do you know Sandra? " his lips pursed together and his brow furrowed.

Adelyn squirms slightly at the notion. She thinks 'How well do I know her?' I've taken care of her all this time, I've heard stories about her from Margret and then there's these odd dreams ...but those can't realistically be called accurate by any means, they are just dreams after all. But what about the bar...Sandy mentioned the bar in my dream. That night it was her right?" something about that conversation she had in her dream resonated with her, she thought hard trying to remember what that night was about. Her eyes giving away that she is lost in thought.

"Did you know her at all?" the deep voice shaken by doubt as his questioning eyes tries to read Adelyn's face.

"Yes, I did.. I do.. I... We met ...sorta at a bar a long while back..." Adelyn hoping this wasn't another lie, unable to discern if her dream had any truth to it, she decided to skip on any details.

"Um alright so I guess that's why we never heard of you before. " Lukus coming to his own conclusions.

"What do you mean? " confused Adelyn asks for more information.

"You don't know? Margret doesn't know Sandra's a lesbian." his voice turned into a whisper.

"Oh that... yeah of course..." she lies thinking 'I'm not ready for that conversation' she fidgets with her eyebrow for a moment before returning eye contact.

"I see now why you look at her the way you do and why you never left her side. " his voice became soft almost reminiscent as a half smile crept across his face. Feeling satisfied with this information he turns around to leave. Not before giving Adelyn a gentle pat on the shoulder which meant 'your secrets safe with me.'

With an awkward laugh Adelyn returns to her original route to check on her patients. Her mind filled with even more guilt now 'Geez, how am I going to explain that one...' a few more steps and she crosses over into

"Hey Bobby how are you doing today?"

"Not so good, momma says I have to stay at the hospital a little longer. I don't want to be here anymore, it smells like chemicals." he sniffs the air and makes a face, sticking his tongue out in a vomiting motion.

"What? You don't want to see me anymore? " Adelyn purses her lips acting pouty.

"That's not it!" Bobby instantly refutes "I love drawing with you! I just don't like that I can't be with my fends at school. "

"I understand how you feel, I also can't be with my friends " thinking of Sandra.

"Why can't you? Is it because your here all the time too? " Bobby's gives her a quizzical look.

"Something like that" she smiles as she reaches for some paper.

"Can we draw something for your sleeping fend again? I want her to see all the neat stuff I'm learning when she wakes up." he grabs his crayons and starts to draw, his tongue slightly sticking out of the corner of his mouth with eyes full of concentration.

"Of course we can, I'm sure she will love them. " her eyes tear up slightly as her chest becomes tight with the sad thought that Sandra may never wake up.

That night Adelyn lay awake urging herself to sleep, she wanted to see Sandra in her dreams again. Tossing and turning in her bed as the warm night air seemingly suffocating her underneath the soft blankets. Beads of sweat roll down her temple as her nightmare ensnares her sleep.

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"Sandra!" she calls out in the darkness the sounds surrounding her was that of grinding metal and the smell of exhaust. "Hello? Anyone there? " she cries, hoping that anyone could help. The scent made her sick to the her stomach, she gagged on the overwhelming odor as she fumbled around on her hands and knees. She could see only black as if she lost her sight, using her hands she feels around the debris surrounding her until her fingers touch a warm liquid nearby. She follows the liquid with her hand, grasping for answers her fingertips touch something soft. Her vision becomes blurry fading in and out of darkness before a blinding light comes charging at her.

-------

Adelyn wakes up to her phone lighting up the dark room from beside her head. She reaches to shut it off when she notices a message.

The doctors say Sandra's brain is dead, Margret is going to pull the plug tomorrow afternoon. I just thought that you should know.

-Lukas

"Shit, what time is it" Adelyn looks at her watch " It's not to late. I have to see her even if it's the last time" Adelyn rushes over to the hospital hoping that it's to early for visiting hours to begin. She walks in just like any other day signing in for volunteer work but instead of going to do her rounds, she sneaks into Sandra's room. Opening the curtains across from the bedside Adelyn pretends she's suppose to be in there hoping no one walking by notices. When the sound of clicking shoes faded into the distance she closed the door before walking over to the bed. Sandra's body was thin and pale.

"Hey Sandy, I knows it's been a while since last we spoke." she sits down next to Sandra and slips her hand between Sandra's frail fingers. "I missed our talks" a brief chuckle crossed her lips. Tears began slowly drifting down her cheeks as the thoughts of Sandra leaving flooded her mind. "I don't want you to go, I know it's selfish of me to hold onto you like this even though you don't even know who I am, but I feel like I know you so much more than I've known anyone." she lays her damp cheek against Sandra's hand just like she used to, sleep overtaking her body.