SAMANTHA LILY ADAMS
'Life is what it is.'
Oh, I so love Christmas, I love its vibe, I love everything about it. I feel so happy decorating our house with Christmas decorations. I could not help myself, my family has been here but they haven't taken the precautions of decorating the place yet, so I take it upon myself to do it.
After am done with my work, I step back from it and take a look at it as I appreciate what I just did.
I grin before I reach for my phone.
I run my fingers through my hair before I turn on the selfie camera and take one of me smiling at it, looking cute, trying to look sexy in my pajamas, and a lot more along the line.
I choose three good of them and send them to Kai.
'Merry Christmas Kai.'
'Looking cute and missing you so bad.'
"Oh look what we have!" I look away from my phone and turn to my brother.
"Where were you all this time?" He asks looking around at my work which is not fading to please me too.
I would want to rub it in his face that I have been away from an important man in my life but I can't.
Having Kai to myself it feels so good, I don't know. The world sometimes can be harsh and so dark and I don't want that influence to what I have with my man.
It feels so right, so righteous and good.
"Ohhhhh, now I can feel Christmas here," Grandma says walking into the living room too.
🎶 I don't want a lot for Christmas 🎶
She starts singing walking to where we are standing beside the fire pit.
I smile knowing it's her all-time favorite song for Christmas.
I look at Yarrow and we grin at each other before we both turn to look at Grandma and start walking to her singing along with her.
🎶 There is just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents underneath the Christmas tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is you
Yeah. 🎶
We repeat the phrase till savannah joined us too and then came grandpa, our parents came after but all came joining in the vibe grandma started.
We stopped singing, we looked at each other and laughed.
"That was fun," Mom says after and we all nod.
"Lily Samantha thank you for doing this." She says and I frown.
"How do you know am the one who did it?"
"Oh you've been away and I haven't seen a single glimpse of a decoration and as soon as you come, look at all of this." She says and I giggle at her.
"I didn't realize you were this insightful."
"Sweetie! What do you take me for." We laugh and I realize it's been so long since I ever felt somehow complete with my family.
But through the holidays I can't help and miss Kai terribly.
On New Year's he flew to London to be with his family and although we did talk like every day, it didn't fill the void of missing him.
Our grandparents left on the second day of the new year while Kai comes back on the fifth day of the new year.
I got to meet him the other day and I surprised myself when I hugged him with tears.
I cried so hard.
I wouldn't seem to stop crying so all we did was hold each other.
We talked about how our holidays went and he told me how Mia insisted on meeting me, which she doesn't fade to tell me every chance she gets on the phone herself.
He also gives me the Christmas gift she sent for me.
'Oh my God.' I only managed to say that with my hands on my mouth feeling the disbelief of her sweet gesture.
She sent me a new released set of clothes from fashion nova.
'Wow.' I wouldn't believe it.
I called and thanked her but the only thing she told me she wanted as I reward or payback was for me to make it my own and find a way to meet her.
I know our life is so hectic to have that happen but as she said I was going to make it my own and so did she.
In the blink of an eye, I was back to school for the second semester.
My life seemed like it wasn't my own.
I woke up every morning to a sweet good morning text and slept every night to an amazing talk with my boyfriend or rarely to a good night text.
It became our thing to sleep with each other on call so it felt like we were together, right? Ha.
I know everyone would laugh at it, I mean when I also saw it from a movie I laughed at how hilarious and stupid the couple was being.
But that was before I met him and being away from him even for a minute was getting harder and much harder than ever.
He laughed at me when I brought it up thinking I was joking but I was not.
Through time he learned to make peace with it and I have loved it.
You can laugh at me as much as you would like but you don't know what desperate time would lead you to do.
Trust me, I doubt you have met him yet. I mean the one to make you want to sleep with him on the call if you are not together.
Every weekend, we made it our thing to always spend time together at one and only's gorilla nest and work from there.
From time to time Leila and Lucas come with us but not every weekend, they come to some once in a while.
My life suddenly felt like a movie story, I woke up with a smile on my face every day knowing what amazing day awaited me.
Kai is the best thing that could have ever happened to me.
I mean at this point I've learnt to admit that Rwanda was the best thing that could ever come my way.
I feel the shock run down me on the third of April, Monday night am coming from the embassy at night. when I listen to what my dad just said.
"Come again, father?" I ask and when he stops and looks at me.
It makes me feel the deja vu feelings.
I exactly feel like we are back in America at his old office and back at the other argument.
Except today we are not in America but in the living room of our house here in Rwanda.
The argument is about the same thing except vice versa.
And the thing that differentiates it from last time is that my brother is also in the room and my mom's belly is much bigger than it was last time.
I look in my father's eyes and feel something struck me.
"Dad, no. I don't want to go back to America now, I mean why can't she go alone to our grandparents." I say and then turn to look at my sister.
"Is it that necessary for me and Yarrow to come with? I can handle this time we are heading through, so I don't want to go." I say firmly because I don't want to be away from Kai.
I would even die if I was to even consider it let alone live it— no, this is not me trying to be dramatic or anything but no.
"I can not believe you." My sister says and I look at her and feel the disbelief instead of her.
When will she ever let me be?
"What?" I ask as I look at all of them. My mother is sitting on the sofa trying to seem invisible as she can, but it's not like I blame her.
She has a lot on her plate at the moment.
"I just want to stay to keep doing what I do is that too much to ask?" And spend time with my boyfriend.
"Plus Yarrow is going, isn't he?" I ask and turn to narrow my eyes at him.
He nods his head. "Oh, yes I am. Even though I can handle this remembering memorial time we are heading into for the country. I think staying can be my option too."
"See, we can all handle it. Sav if you can't please don't make a fuss about it and go for the time being and spend it with grandparents but am not leaving the country." I say before I turn my back on them and walk to my room.
This is the blow I wasn't expecting at all.
I really was excited about the vacation but this, I can take it no more.
I walk to my room and reach for my phone.
I lay on my bed and called Kai.
"Baby," I say and when he answers I feel the tears roll down from my eyes.
"Darling, is everything alright."
"No Kai," I say letting the tears run down on my cheeks.
"What happened? Did something happen on your way?" I let out a cracked sob.
"Oh, I wish it was that easy."
"Please tell me you are not crying, darling. Tell me now Samantha. What happened?"
"Our plans are destroyed," I say to him and I cry even more.
"What plans?" He asks.
"The one we had me and you. You know having this vacation to ourselves." I say feeling the pain hit me right in my heart as I picture the reality of this coming true.
"I don't want to be away from you, Kai I can't survive."
Can I? Noo.
"Darling cal…." He doesn't finish what he wants to say because suddenly my room door flies in the air and when I turn to see who it is, I find a fuming father.
"Dad?" I call feeling confused by his actions.
He looks like he would bust out of anger or from the feelings he is feeling if it was possible.
"Please tell me it's not true Lily Samantha Adams."
'Wow, full names this ain't no joke I guess.'
"What?"
He looks at me shamefully, like he doesn't know me.
Like he is not recognizing me.
It makes me stop for a moment as I wonder what is going.
The rage in his eyes is gone but I think I preferred him like that than him looking like he is disgusted and saddened by me.
"Dad, what is going on?"
"Please tell me you are not sleeping with men twice your age?"
My face falls.
"What?"
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