Love Is Regrettable

I walk over to my fourteen-year-old sister's bed.

Her skin is dry, her eyes watery and dazed, her figure looks petite, and weak. She looks dead... If not a million times worse.

Her red curly hair, however, still somehow looks ample and healthy. It's one of the many things I begrudged her for.

Her eyes are half open, and I know she heard all that mother said.

"I'm sorry Belle." I softly whisper as I sit on the bed with her.

"Li... Lili..." She struggles to speak, her voice coming out dry and incomprehensible.

I reach out for the glass of water that's almost empty, and carefully make her drink.

"I... Want to... D— Die." Her words make my heart clench in fear and unspeakable misery.

"P— Please Li— Lili." She begs.

I stare at her, unmoving. Only a few years ago, I'd envied her more than anyone. She'd gotten all of mother's love, attention, and care while I... I was practically non-existent. I envied her so badly... From her dark-brown eyes, right down to her curly red hair.

I remember being thirteen years old, and asking a friend of mine, Reeve, to get me brown contact lenses, and red hair dye. I'd watched a tutorial video, and had dyed my hair at his house.

When I went home that day, I faintly recall my mother's appalled scream, then the murky and disgusting basement. She'd accused me of wanting to replace her perfect Belle.

She'd said I only resembled Isabelle's psycho-demonic twin.

After that, every cell of my body disdained my sister. Most times, I found myself wishing her suffering and... Death.

"I can't do that Belle." My voice wavers. 

"Please..." She uses what seems like her last breath to beg... Beg for her end.

At this point, I do want her to die. Death would be a rightfully deserved reward for her now.

But I can't give her that. If I did, I wouldn't be mom's perfect daughter. I'm sure Mom wouldn't want a murderer as a daughter, would she?

Of course not.

So I stand, and leave the room, disregarding Belle's pleading expression.

Mother went out again, and dad's at work, which means... I can visit Reeve.

♦

I stand outside Reeve's house, contemplating. What if his parents are home? Mother detests them with every fiber of her being. At least, that's what she told me once. I should most likely leave. She wouldn't approve of me being here—

My thoughts halt as the front door opens.

"Oh, Lili." Reeve's smile is warm and welcoming.

"Come in." He ushers me inside.

"Are you alone?" I ask, hesitating as I scan the areas my gaze can reach.

"I am." His smile is reassuring but wavers a bit.

"Can I get you something?" He asks once I'm seated.

"No thanks."

He sighs. "Not sure why I even ask anymore."

"So, to what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?" He takes a seat beside me.

"I—" I'm cut off by the sound of someone's hurried footsteps down the stairs.

"Hey, Reevie? Do you happen to have—"

The stranger also goes quiet upon noticing me.

"I thought you said you were alone."

I give Reeve an accusing look.

"Sorry, I thought you meant whether my parents were in... And he... Is not staying long." Reeve's gaze at the stranger seems cold.

"I might now." The corners of his mouth lift in a smirk.

"Aren't you going to introduce us Reevie?" He takes a seat very close to me, already reaching for my hand.

"Or you know what, never mind. I'm sure this beauty can tell me her name hersel—"

My eyes barely catch sight of Reeve as he quickly stands, roughly grabbing the stranger by the collar of his shirt.

"Don't cross the line Daemon."

Reeve's antagonist voice catches me off guard.

"I... Should leave." I stand and head for the door.

I hear Reeve call out for me, but I don't stop. Soon enough however, I hear someone running behind me.

I turn, and see Daemon.

He walks over, a serene smile on his face as he takes my hand in his.

"Wait, I'm really sorry you had to see that."

"It's fine."

His gaze on me lingers. I notice the alluring blue color in his eyes.

"So, do you live nearby?"

I nod. "Uh, yeah."

He beams jovially.

"Great. Then I'd love to get to know you better... If you don't mind of course."

He seems apprehensive, which is a bit odd to me.

"Really?"

His smile softens.

"Of course. I know it's too early to say this yet but, I... Uh, think I like you."

His cheeks are tinted red.

"You don't even know my name though." I fold my arms.

"Exactly."

I frown, not quite understanding him.

"How about... You tell me your name once you're comfortable enough with me?"

I nod. "Alright then."

"Well, may I get your number then? I promise I'll find a memorable name to save your contact." He looks away in thought.

"Maybe something like... 'Emerald Beauty.'"

"I, uh, can't do that." I look away, not willing to admit to him that I don't have a cellphone.

Electronics are sort of forbidden in the house for Isabelle and me.

"Oh... Alright then. I guess I'm walking you home then."

I say nothing to that, and we start our short walk back to my house.

♦

"Okay, well uh... See you soon, hopefully." He seems reluctant to leave, but ultimately, he does.

The house is eerily quiet.

I open the door to Belle's room, and I'm greeted by the sight I'd somewhat expected.

"She's dead." Mother's deadpan voice startles me.

I turn my head and see her sitting in the corner of the room.

"She's finally dead." Her eyes are teary as she looks up at me.

"I'm sorry Lilith." She calls me by my full name for the first time in forever.

"I'm sorry... I should have loved you instead. Your minor shortcomings could've been fixed... I should have loved you instead my dear... I'm sorry..."

She continues to mumble, but I'm no longer listening.

Right then, I realize she's doing what I once dreamed she would.

She's regretting loving Isabelle.

√